Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Blogging Survivor: One World - "I'm a Republican, I'm not a Democrat. I do not believe in handouts"

With the women's Salani Tribe in disarray in terms of fire and shelter, and with a big storm coming in, Colton offered to let the women spend the night in the men's shelter. While the women decided to stay and tough it out, they all flocked to the men's fire the following morning in order to warm up and dry out.

Matt was not pleased with the hospitality offered by his tribe. "I went out crab hunting this morning and came back and found six or eight of the girls...sitting in our beds...and there's no extra room. That means for the girls, those days are done."

Given the Alicia was one of the women in the men's beds, I think that Matt was just pissed off that he went out hunting and the crabs ended up just coming to him.

Don't forget the STD.

The Reward Challenge consisted of a series of head-to-head memorization tests, with the first tribe to win five getting a canoe and fishing supplies. While Kat and Troy-zan had an epic battle of stupidity, with each missing their sequence seven times in a row before Kat finally got it right, the girls ended up sweeping the event for their first win in any challenge all season.

After another storm swept through, the men again found the women at their camp huddling around their fire and asking for embers to re-start their own. The guys, losing patience with the girls for free riding off of them, asked to borrow their canoe and fishing supplies in return, which the girls balked at.

The guys were at a loss as to why the girls kept expecting the guys to help them out with shelter and fire when they offered nothing in return. When Troy surmised, "Maybe that's the thing...We're men, they're women, maybe we just think differently, Colton interjected, "No, 'cause even I don't understand."

Even though the entire girls tribe served as Colton's collective harem of hags, he was clearly annoyed with their antics. "I like love those girls, but if they're not going to give me anything, I'm sorry. I'm not that type of a person. I'm a Republican, I'm not a Democrat. I do not believe in handouts."

So not only was the South responsible for giving us socially conservative Southern Democrats, but now they're producing a mutant hybrid army of gay Republicans? Talk about being confused in where you are in your life. Then again, I guess we've had those up North for years too...We just always referred to them as our conservative Congressmen.

At the Immunity Challenge, each tribe selected a "caller" to verbally guide pairs of their blindfolded teammates through an obstacle course in order to get puzzle pieces and solve a puzzle. While Sabrina gave Bill and the men a huge lead by yelling a lot but not really saying anything, she made up a huge deficit on the puzzle, giving the women Immunity for the first time.

Back at the men's camp, Colton was actually excited to have lost. "I'm so excited to vote someone out. I dislike so many of these people. Like Bill screwed up in the challenge today. You had a good, like, 5-7 minute lead over those women and you still lost."

In spite of being a gay kid from the old South, Colton went on to show his prejudicial side in ranting on about Bill. "Like, I don't want to talk to you, I don't like you, stay away from me. You're ghetto trash, that's all you are."

Apparently in the South even rainbows don't include blacks...Then again, I guess black is the absence of color.

There really was no justification for Colton's comment. First of all, Bill's a stand-up comedian from Venice, CA, so it's not like Colton's "ghetto" comment had any basis in truth in where he's from.

Secondly, Bill seems like the hippie/surfer/skater type, so Colton's comment had no basis in perception either. Finally, the guy applied to be on Survivor, so he's much more likely to be gay or Asian than "ghetto" if Colton wants us the play the stereotype game, which fortunately I do.

Bill, getting all ghetto at "Occupy Farmers Market."

As the "Misfit Alliance"of Colton, Troy, Leif, Jonas and  Tarzan pondered their strategy for Tribal Council, Jay walked up behind them. Even though he was not a part of their alliance, they ended up asking him to join them in voting out Bill (as Colton wished) since he was not one of their targets.

On the other hand, Matt decided that he needed to break up that conversation by aggressively asking, "Is my presence destroying the strategy talks?" While Colton tried to deny it by saying "no," much to the embarrassment of Matt's ego Tarzan interrupted and called him out by calmly saying, "Yes it is, at the moment."

Perhaps seeing the irony in the fact that his "Muscle Alliance" never had enough members to vote anyone out, Matt tried to persuade Troy to form a new alliance. "Me, you, Jay and maybe Mike, all of us are roosters, right? And we don't want any other roosters around. The chickens can't break up the roosters, and that's how I say it from day one, and frankly, I saw you as part of the roosters."

Unfortunately, the "Rooster Alliance" never took flight, as Troy realized that Matt was just blowing smoke up his ass to get back on top of the men's tribe. Troy then passed that information along to the Misfits, who realized that Matt was their biggest threat over Colton's prejudice against black people.

At Tribal Council, Colton immediately announced that he was confident that he was safe. "I'm not uncomfortable because I'm not going home tonight...Because I have an Idol."

When Colton responded to Jeff Probst's question about whether he was spending too much time with the girls by saying, "Duh, that shouldn't be a shock..all my friends at home are girls," Jeff lit into him. "But you're not on their tribe. You look at me and say 'duh,' it actually is a reverse duh, double dare on you...Do you realize what kind of target you put on your back by saying that?"

While Colton announced that he would be playing his Immunity Idol to be safe, he ultimately chose not to use it. He then muttered "You pissed off the wrong queen," as the Misfits voted out Matt, who was a little too arrogant for his own good.

Colton fashions himself as the King of Queens...I mean the King of the Misfits..

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