tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59272797252047459072024-03-13T20:25:48.222-07:00The Red MieniSports. Politics. Pop Culture.The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.comBlogger409125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-13110527378550065152023-10-15T18:36:00.001-07:002023-10-15T18:36:37.334-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMPew8o5kCUdIoyTTnYjmvVSKPAZF6H-RLXN5xDSwlQZX_DeoA8mQph4nR47HO50rEjDQynDF51EwzID2t1gMOhaXvK8xxtS9pD8H9gNkGM8n-jlHZCaYivUpnV1Hp7no0twdb01w0fogI_YW5UJ3hChD7rjg7ASSliX6SPKELpOFu1veGWdKKFXWGBzk/s300/CMA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMPew8o5kCUdIoyTTnYjmvVSKPAZF6H-RLXN5xDSwlQZX_DeoA8mQph4nR47HO50rEjDQynDF51EwzID2t1gMOhaXvK8xxtS9pD8H9gNkGM8n-jlHZCaYivUpnV1Hp7no0twdb01w0fogI_YW5UJ3hChD7rjg7ASSliX6SPKELpOFu1veGWdKKFXWGBzk/s1600/CMA.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
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I don't listen to country music, but that's not going to stop me from making my<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"> third annual predictions for the ACM's. No, make that the CMT's. Wait, that's not it either? Is it the CMA's? No, well how about the ACA's then?</span><br />
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<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Okay, I'm still going to try and predict the winners for whatever country music awards show that happens to be airing this week with the same nominees simply bouncing from network to network...Kind of like Lorrie Morgan used to to do with male country music singers back in the 80's and 90's. </span><br />
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So put on your best vintage Confederate flag t-shirt, hop into your favorite pickup truck with a plastic nut sack dangling from the trailer hitch, and enjoy one of the five biggest nights that country music has to offer along with the largest collection of people who first went to Chick-fil-A thinking it was a strip club, but kept coming back because they fell in love with the chicken. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZfHLykqQnPg/UnrFF2QRUDI/AAAAAAAAH_0/Qntt6sbaaOw/s1600/Florida+Georgia+Line.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZfHLykqQnPg/UnrFF2QRUDI/AAAAAAAAH_0/Qntt6sbaaOw/s1600/Florida+Georgia+Line.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">2013 ACA Winners? The Florida-Georgia Line: It's not racist if you just really liked the group Alabama, but it IS racist if you really, really like the state of Alabama. </span></td></tr>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Artist of the Year</span></b><br />
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<b>Taylor Swift</b> – I really don't think people are even all that entertained by her personal life anymore, but if they were (hypothetically speaking of course), isn't the next logical step for Taylor Swift to start dating Kanye West and then write a revenge song about it? <br />
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<b>Jason Aldean</b> – This guy was said to exhibit his "hip-hop influence" by rapping on his single <i>Dirt Road Anthem,</i> which was really just a dumbed down version of <i>Gin and Juice</i> for white people. <br />
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<b>The Florida-Georgia Line</b> – In a recent interview, this rap
infused country duo said they considered Garth Brooks a "classic
throwback" country artist, which pretty much sums up everything that's
wrong with country music these days. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--3at5hru3To/UnrQTNUV6-I/AAAAAAAAIAY/lvCAWz82vII/s1600/Fla+Georgia+Line.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--3at5hru3To/UnrQTNUV6-I/AAAAAAAAIAY/lvCAWz82vII/s1600/Fla+Georgia+Line.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">I'm not really sure what's going on here.<b> </b>If
Atlanta, is the home of guys who get crunk and the dirty south, then
The Florida-Georgia Line must be the home of guys who get drunk and
dirty their shorts.</span></td></tr>
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<b>Blake Shelton</b> – Talk about an artist, I don't think Blake Shelton is even recording music anymore, but he's been as entertaining and adorable as anyone on NBC's "<i>The Voice</i>" this side of Cee Lo Green on a "Molly" bender.</div>
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<b>Luke Bryan</b> – Sadly, his hit song<b><i> </i></b><i>Tailgates and Tanlines</i> wasn't about spring break at Daytona Beach. It was about having butt sex with Danica Patrick. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5fJTxsUf34A/UScPL2qUzgI/AAAAAAAAF5w/xnOSYRGGZz4/s1600/Danica+Patrick+Ass.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" mea="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5fJTxsUf34A/UScPL2qUzgI/AAAAAAAAF5w/xnOSYRGGZz4/s320/Danica+Patrick+Ass.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">And the winner is</span></b><span style="color: orange;">...</span>It's gotta be Jason Aldean, right?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL3PnIO-pJQu9SRtbHF6wzeqTmeWjsC1w_V4aDLI6WGud5TnL-0dMbG0NQGA4SC-Z6xJewrJ_AtJxU6nxq2A63EsQs-Hw9obE7FVyvEskP9_fAefGq84YNb7xnllRsfRgJwRV3NYojk5un/s1600/Aldean.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL3PnIO-pJQu9SRtbHF6wzeqTmeWjsC1w_V4aDLI6WGud5TnL-0dMbG0NQGA4SC-Z6xJewrJ_AtJxU6nxq2A63EsQs-Hw9obE7FVyvEskP9_fAefGq84YNb7xnllRsfRgJwRV3NYojk5un/s320/Aldean.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">The
John Deere hat and Sunset Strip t-shirt and goatee just scream
"hip-hop" roots...if "hip-hop" roots means Panama City, Florida.</span></td></tr>
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I mean the last time I got suckered into going to
the redneck bar all they did was play a mix of country and hip-hop. I
also almost got thrown out by the manager for trying to stand up for an
African-American guy that night, but that's a whole other story.<br />
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In any event, like it or not, rap and country are slowly merging<b> </b>into a genre called "hick-hop." Because that's is the next logical step in music, right?</div>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Male Vocalist of the Year </span></b><br />
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<b>Dierks Bentley</b> – Alright, I can't quite get over a country singer rapping and proclaiming that he was influenced by hip-hop and acting like he has invented some sort of new "Hick-Hop" genre. On top of that, how the Hell do you get nominated for "Country Male Vocalist" when you're a wanna be white rapper from Macon, Georgia?<br />
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Not only was <i>Dirt Road Anthem</i> the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ5IIDn_JXE"><span style="color: orange;">worst attempt at rapping that I've ever heard in my life</span></a>, but somewhere in rural Oklahoma the lead singer from the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MDcu86V6Rg"><span style="color: orange;">Smoking Armadillos</span></a> is cursing his former agent and looking to kick Jason Aldean's ass. <br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The Smoking Armadillos - <i>I'm a Cowboy</i></span></span></div>
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<b>Luke Bryan</b> – Born the youngest son to a poor peanut farmer in rural Georgia, Luke Bryan was able to overcome being on the ass end of the Georgia peanut baron hierarchy and become the most successful peanut refugee that state has ever seen since Billy Carter.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3bdz7d7visc/Unru7SF7OqI/AAAAAAAAIBA/6mFOZ0VdZ9A/s1600/billy-beer.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="235" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3bdz7d7visc/Unru7SF7OqI/AAAAAAAAIBA/6mFOZ0VdZ9A/s320/billy-beer.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>Blake Shelton</b> – Blake Shelton will be performing his new song, <i>She has a Face That I Want to Log-on</i>. Oh wait, I just made that up<b><i>. </i></b>His real hit song is <i>I'm Singin' a Blue Song, But Livin' in a Red State</i>...Gotcha, I made that one up too! This is easy, I think I'm moving to Nashville!<br />
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<b>Keith Urban</b> – Riding the success of his new hit single <i>S-E-C! S-E-C!</i>, everybody seems to like this guy. With his cowboy hats, wife beaters
and a questionable relationship with Peyton Manning, he’s the southern
version of Brody Jenner.<br />
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<b>Eric Church</b> – If you're going to give someone a country music award, shouldn't you give it to someone to embraces old school "outlaw" country and advocates the legalization of marijuana like Eric Church or Jamie Johnson? Or as I like to ask, "What would Willie Do?" <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Og7vNI6Vm4Y/UnrndZPeXbI/AAAAAAAAIAw/DDboqJlThSU/s1600/Willie+Nelson.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Og7vNI6Vm4Y/UnrndZPeXbI/AAAAAAAAIAw/DDboqJlThSU/s320/Willie+Nelson.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: lime;">What Would Willie Nelson Do? I think he'd go with Eric Church and <i>Smoke a Little Smoke</i>. <span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span></td></tr>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">And the winner is...</span></b>Luke Bryan. Unfortunately for Eric Church, country music has gotten so bubble-gummy that even groups like The Florida-Georgia Line call Garth Brooks an example of "classic throwback country."<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Female Vocalist of the Year </span></b><br />
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<b>Miranda Lambert</b> – Miranda Lambert's video for "The Fastest Girl in Town" was hugely popular in the South. Not only did it star NASCAR driver Danica Patrick, but the song was written about Lambert's biggest rival, Taylor Swift.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MbulxE3JtYM/UScOoFi2_3I/AAAAAAAAF5o/3R-q2avGRwI/s1600/Danica+Patrick+Booby.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" mea="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MbulxE3JtYM/UScOoFi2_3I/AAAAAAAAF5o/3R-q2avGRwI/s320/Danica+Patrick+Booby.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Danica Patrick in <i>ASSCAR: The Ballad of Ricky Stenhouse's Boobies.</i></span></td></tr>
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<b>Kacey Musgraves</b> – Talk about sell-outs, first it was Hootie, now it's Cheryl Crow...Honestly, Mindy McCready has a better chance of making a career comeback than Cheryl Crow, and she's dead.<b> </b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iI9jmN1kwSQ/UnrQtMrxYJI/AAAAAAAAIAg/hyz6a6QkfnY/s1600/Mindy+McCready.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iI9jmN1kwSQ/UnrQtMrxYJI/AAAAAAAAIAg/hyz6a6QkfnY/s1600/Mindy+McCready.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Mindy McCready's life was such a waste...Her dog didn't even get to eat her corpse.</span></td></tr>
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<b>Taylor Swift</b> - Alright, if Kanye West really is happily engaged to the "Ass-tastrophy" that has become Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift needs to get it over with and re-make George
Strait's "<i>All My Exes Live in Texas</i>," if not just for shits and giggles.<br />
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<b>Carrie Underwood</b> – I bet if I told you that a female celebrity dated Tony Romo, a Gossip Girl (sadly, it was one of the Gossip Guys), and a pro hockey player, you would have probably guessed that it was Alyssa Milano. In actuality, it was Carrie Underwood.<br />
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Not only is Underwood one of the South's hottest country stars, but she just got done delivering a live TV performance of <i>The Sound of Music</i>, which nearly every critic agreed was simply fantastic and better than the original.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1tV2bulamCI/UnrOhiTHF0I/AAAAAAAAIAM/D-NyiSBjeHE/s1600/Carrie+Underwood+Sound+of+Music.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1tV2bulamCI/UnrOhiTHF0I/AAAAAAAAIAM/D-NyiSBjeHE/s1600/Carrie+Underwood+Sound+of+Music.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Carrie Underwood as Maria in <i>The Sound of Music</i>? Talk about pissing on Julie Andrew's grave.</span></td></tr>
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<b>Martina McBride</b> – Kelly Clarkson at a country music awards show is kind of like nominating Jason Aldean for a BET award for best rapper...Except for the part where Kelly Clarkson actually gets invited to the country music awards show.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">And the winner is...</span></b>Carrie Underwood! After all, she is the Janet Jones of the south now that she's forced star hockey player Mike Fisher to get traded from Ottawa to Nashville, much to the chagrin of all of Canada. Seriously...Canada should be talking about this more! <br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Vocal Group of the Year </span></b><br />
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<b>Zac Brown Band – </b>The CMA's are reaching. Just because the Zac Brown Band is from the South, it doesn't mean these guys are country. I mean, they even played Bonnaroo for Christ's sake. <br />
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<b>The Band Perry</b> – I may or may not have watched these guys play at a local dive bar the other night for a $2 cover charge...<br />
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<b>Little Big Town</b> – The love child of Jason Aldean's singles <i>Hicktown</i> and the group <i>Big Green Tractor</i>, I think these guys might have opened up for The Band Perry the other night.<br />
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<b>Lady Antebellum</b> – A group named after the pre-Civil War South, or as they say in the South, the good ol' days. Somewhere the ghost of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_H._Stephens"><span style="color: orange;">Alexander Stephens</span></a> is humming bars to <i>Dixie</i> in approval of Lady Antebellum as he plots ways to haunt Jason Aldean from his grave. <br />
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<b>The Eli Young Band</b> - Still riding a wave of success after being the 8<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">th</span> group to remake Tom <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Cochrane</span>’s <i>Life is a Highway</i>...Way to make it your own Rascal!<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">And the winner is.....</span></b>The Lady Perry Band.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Vocal Duo of the Year</span></b><br />
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<b>Dan + Shay</b> -<br />
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<b>Florida Georgia Line</b> - In a recent interview, this rap infused country duo said they considered Garth Brooks a "classic throwback" country artist, which pretty much sums up everything that's wrong with country music these days.<br />
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<tr><td><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--3at5hru3To/UnrQTNUV6-I/AAAAAAAAIAY/lvCAWz82vII/s1600/Fla+Georgia+Line.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--3at5hru3To/UnrQTNUV6-I/AAAAAAAAIAY/lvCAWz82vII/s1600/Fla+Georgia+Line.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="color: orange;">I'm not really sure what's going on here.<b> </b>If Atlanta is the home of guys who get crunk and the dirty south, then The Florida-Georgia Line must be the home of guys who get drunk and dirty their shorts.</span></td></tr>
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<b>Love and Theft</b> -<br />
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<b>The Swon Brothers</b> -<br />
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<b>Thompson Square</b> -<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Song of the Year</span></b><br />
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<b>Automatic by Miranda Lambert</b> -<br />
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<b>Follow Your Arrow by Kacey Musgraves</b> - This song was originally written by Jason Aldean and titled, "Follow your Dick."<br />
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<b>I Don't Dance by Lee Brice</b> - Is it just me, or are country songs getting less and less cliche and more and more like Facebook posts?<br />
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<b>I Hold On by Dierks Bentley</b> -The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-80956671079406327212017-02-25T19:09:00.005-08:002021-06-13T21:58:02.570-07:00NASCAR Predictions from a Guy Who Doesn't Watch Racin' - At least Tony Stewart can finally say that he won a fight!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The NASCAR Sprint Cup season starts this- week, starting the anticipation for the biggest race of the year. So stock up on some Winston Lights, toilet paper and Boudreux Butt Paste before your local Winn Dixie-Land runs out of these life essentials for the weekend!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4anEfViT8uM/WLJq0_iFxNI/AAAAAAAAKeU/PnH1fW9qD-MElOgXyEsIoYj8uVJnv8XmACLcB/s1600/The%2BSouth%2BShall%2BRise.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4anEfViT8uM/WLJq0_iFxNI/AAAAAAAAKeU/PnH1fW9qD-MElOgXyEsIoYj8uVJnv8XmACLcB/s320/The%2BSouth%2BShall%2BRise.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Say what you want about NASCAR, but there's no doubting the positive economic impact that it brings to communities like Daytona Beach. Rockingham, Talladega and Bristol, with over 100,000 rabid fans coming to town on the weekends that Alabama doesn't play football! </span></td></tr>
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I don't watch the races, but that's not going to stop me from picking up a limited edition hunter's case of Busch beer that comes in them fancy orange cans, Googling "Danica Patrick naked," and predicting the Sprint Cup results!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MBHIYiJso0I/WLJrbdGWHJI/AAAAAAAAKec/e7ZSKe6_APciQR4gyg86SQKnmMRoEdquwCLcB/s1600/danica-patrick-6.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MBHIYiJso0I/WLJrbdGWHJI/AAAAAAAAKec/e7ZSKe6_APciQR4gyg86SQKnmMRoEdquwCLcB/s320/danica-patrick-6.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: yellow;">I'm looking forward to the release of Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.'s first sextape, "<i style="font-size: 12.8px;">ASSCAR - The Ballad of Ricky's Boobies.</i><span style="font-size: 12.8px;">" </span></span></td></tr>
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Some may say that NASCAR's popularity has dropped in recent years, but fuck that, Trump is our new President, so we can clearly consider those reports as "fake news"!<br />
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With that said, how will this season play out? Let's take a look!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">POLE POSITION </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(Who the Top 10 finishers in the Sprint Cup will be, and why)</div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: orange;">10. Darrell Wallace, Jr. </span></b></span><span style="font-size: small;">- As part of their Race for Diversity program, NASCAR should be trying to push a team owner like Randy Moss and a young and upcoming African-American driver this year. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">And if they're serious about remedying their history of discrimination, they'll employ some type of "affirmative action" and give Darrell "Bubba" Wallace, Jr. a slight restrictor plate advantage over the other drivers when it comes to his car. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">That would allow Wallace to assume the role of a heel (pro wrestling style) as he makes "Black Lives Matter" speeches and takes a knee during our new national anthem, "I Wish I Was in Dixie," or as both female and male southerners like to say, "I Wish The Dixie Was In Me." </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MJ7SaJ2BFW0/XubQQBXYLJI/AAAAAAAAKno/-WJszN_IfU4MjDzWuJJHavUTa-TiKF--QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Bubba%2BWallace.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="450" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MJ7SaJ2BFW0/XubQQBXYLJI/AAAAAAAAKno/-WJszN_IfU4MjDzWuJJHavUTa-TiKF--QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Bubba%2BWallace.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">I swear to the almighty Donald J. Trump that I wrote this blog post three years before this actually happened...My only edit was adding this photo of Bubba Wallace and his "Black Lives Matter" car and this caption. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>9. Tony Stewart </b></span>- Tony Stewart is no stranger to overcoming adversity, but he's never been able to overcome the guilt of knowing that he intentionally killed a racer on the track when Kevin Ward charged the dirt track and tragically tried to fight Stewart's truck. On the the plus side, Stewart and his fans can finally say that he won a fight!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-utH9VRTImMA/WLJxNOrN1KI/AAAAAAAAKe4/JWIv7hd9ox4fJNHo2vJ4us1WWHM77HyagCLcB/s1600/John%2BDeere.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-utH9VRTImMA/WLJxNOrN1KI/AAAAAAAAKe4/JWIv7hd9ox4fJNHo2vJ4us1WWHM77HyagCLcB/s320/John%2BDeere.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: lime;">Now that he's quit NASCAR's Dirt Track Series, Tony Stewart has announced that he plans to team with sponsor John Deere to launch a new NASCAR series aimed at slightly more educated fans in untapped markets like Ohio. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>8. Kurt Busch</b></span> - Speaking of fights, NASCAR recently suspended <span style="font-family: inherit;">Kurt Busch for smashing his ex-girlfriend's head against the wall of his motor home. As the old saying goes, "You can take the boy out of the trailer, but his girl has to stay home and cook him some Hamburger Helper if she don't wanna to get the CTS!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: orange;">7. Jeff Gordon</span> - </b>Everybody is making a big deal about gay athletes coming out, yet nobody ever mentions NASCAR's groundbreaking gay ambassador, Jeff Gordon, a/k/a, "The Rainbow Warrior."</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wwFHwWRnJzs/WLJxs_5nPKI/AAAAAAAAKfA/mNs2xriYYuIHsvC9mXpJ4pT4FIyD2uhMwCLcB/s1600/Gordon.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wwFHwWRnJzs/WLJxs_5nPKI/AAAAAAAAKfA/mNs2xriYYuIHsvC9mXpJ4pT4FIyD2uhMwCLcB/s320/Gordon.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">It had to be embarrassing for a "macho" driver like Brad Keselowski when a gay "athlete" like Jeff Gordon got so pissed off at his driving that he bitch slapped him after a race in Texas.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div>
<span style="color: orange;"><b>6. Brad Keselowski</b></span> - The best thing about Brad Keselowski having Miller Light as his sponsor is that he's no stranger to drinking the stupid juice and talking to the press even though his family, race team, and NASCAR's President all staged an intervention asking him not to speak to the media after he gets done drinking and and racin'.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CUjORH_p-Ao/WLJyPOitEGI/AAAAAAAAKfI/GzyFzrUYUjMq_FqM-2jZYJkPiklkoV0MACLcB/s1600/Keslowski.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CUjORH_p-Ao/WLJyPOitEGI/AAAAAAAAKfI/GzyFzrUYUjMq_FqM-2jZYJkPiklkoV0MACLcB/s1600/Keslowski.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="font-size: 12.8px;">
<span style="color: orange;">Indy drivers drink a bottle of milk after winning the Indy 500, while NASCAR drivers like Brad Keselowski slam pitchers of beer before the race...And that is why Europe is, and always be more sophisticated than the United States. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: orange;"><b><br />5. </b></span></span><span style="color: orange;"><b>Dale Earnhardt, Jr.</b></span> - With NASCAR's new qualifying rules for The Chase to the Sprint Cup favoring drivers who actually win races, it looks like it will be another disappointing year for Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Jr.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X8WugFouU2g/WLJy34L0XzI/AAAAAAAAKfQ/lnlBt7Wma8ISrIMNi70MH_7NoCNbVd9MQCLcB/s1600/Six%2Bpack.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X8WugFouU2g/WLJy34L0XzI/AAAAAAAAKfQ/lnlBt7Wma8ISrIMNi70MH_7NoCNbVd9MQCLcB/s320/Six%2Bpack.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: 12.8px;"><span style="color: orange;">I heard that after finishing a race and seeing this Dale Jr. six-pack tattoo, Brad Keselowski was so desperate for a beer that he licked this guy's stomach!</span></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: orange;"><b>4. </b></span><span style="color: orange;"><b>Austin Dillon</b></span> - Team owner Richard Childress giving NASCAR's sacred #3 to his grandson Austin Dillon is kind of like Childress giving Dale Earnhardt Sr.'s car to an undeserving Dale Jr. just so he could keep sales and marketing going.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1CLBQeMbO6A/WLJzldx7U3I/AAAAAAAAKfY/4cNkOeXyETM1zMXoXOyf635nV8tBRa6bACLcB/s1600/austin%2Bdillon.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1CLBQeMbO6A/WLJzldx7U3I/AAAAAAAAKfY/4cNkOeXyETM1zMXoXOyf635nV8tBRa6bACLcB/s320/austin%2Bdillon.jpg" width="214" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">Austin Dillon, looking pretty in pink: Let's just say that NASCAR has become less about your ability to drive, and more about about your name and how you look...and that's really pissing racing purists like Danica Patrick off!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: orange;"><b>3. </b></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Clint Bowyer</b></span> - Confirming the argument that NASCAR drivers are not even remotely close to being athletes, Clint Bowyer noted how he doesn't work out at the gym because (and I quote), "Those weights are heavy," which is exactly why they're called "weights."</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/_9fB1IcTD48/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_9fB1IcTD48?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">If legendary driver Dick Trickle could race while smoking, I'm pretty sure that NASCAR drivers aren't athletes. </span></div>
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Bowyer made news a few years back by asking a confused foreign reporter if they had rednecks in Europe after he was asked about his comment that he was going to "Redneck it up" after a big win.<br />
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After the reporter got Bowyer's definition of what a redneck was, the reporter responded by saying that Germany did have people like that, but they were considered "less intelligent" than the people in the rest of his country.<br />
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That caused Bowyer to exclaim, "That's us!"<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: orange;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: orange;"><b>2. Jimmie Johnson</b></span> - As somebody who's into nutrition and has run a marathon the last few years before kicking off the Daytona 500, Jimmie Johnson is the polar opposite of Clint Boyer and Tony Stewart. <a href="http://www.news-journalonline.com/article/20140216/NASCAR/140219490?Title=Runners-race-with-Sprint-Cup-stars-in-Daytona-Beach-Half-Marathon-"><span style="color: orange;">Sure, a woman may have beat him in the marathon</span></a>, but that should only help prepare him for the final result of this year's Sprint Cup standings.</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="color: orange;"> </span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="color: orange;">1. Danica Patrick</span></b> - Speaking of which, you know that Danica Patrick is ready to race when she forcefully grabbed Kevin Hamlin and confronted him for spinning her out in what was only a Daytona 500 qualifying race. Of course, Hamlin victim blamed Patrick for the incidentclaiming she had a "loose rear end." That leads me to wonder whether Patrick's boyfriend, Ricky Stenhouse, Jr., needs to challenge Hamlin to a fight considering he's the one who is the likely cause of any loosening that is going on in Danica's rear end. <br />
<br />
By the way, Danica's run as the Go Daddy girl is getting a bit old. Can't we find her a more appropriate sponsor like <i>The View</i>, Midol, or possibly IKEA?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5tHMVP2-62Y/WLJtI51jHEI/AAAAAAAAKeo/tiw13IwV5dMv3Tc7iDxE9Pq_huiltmeQACEw/s1600/Danica.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5tHMVP2-62Y/WLJtI51jHEI/AAAAAAAAKeo/tiw13IwV5dMv3Tc7iDxE9Pq_huiltmeQACEw/s1600/Danica.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Mamograph: Danica Patrick is not backing down in this male dominated industry. In fact, she's reversing traditional NASCAR gender roles!"</span></td></tr>
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And last but not least, if this isn't an annual tradition to kick of the NASCAR season, it should be! <br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">This prayer from Pastor Joe Nelms is the one good thing to ever come about as a result of NASCAR...Or for that matter, any evangelical church.</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/J74y88YuSJ8/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/J74y88YuSJ8?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe>The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-19939808547006032822017-01-12T02:01:00.001-08:002017-01-12T21:33:18.347-08:00The Bachelor Blog - "My heart is in my ass now!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wfbmrFafdy8/WGcgkbsZh-I/AAAAAAAAKa0/MTMGq1RQ50YsdOVIa5UzNsZZUvvQ8cZDgCLcB/s1600/The%2BBachelor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wfbmrFafdy8/WGcgkbsZh-I/AAAAAAAAKa0/MTMGq1RQ50YsdOVIa5UzNsZZUvvQ8cZDgCLcB/s1600/The%2BBachelor.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br />
The new season of <i>The Bachelor</i> is upon us, which means that we have thirty new girls looking for a "forever home."<br />
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Unfortunately, the stakes are high, as only one girl will ultimately get adopted. A few may live on for a few more seasons to reproduce on <i>Bachelor in Paradise</i>, but the rest will immediately get put down by <i>The Bachelor's</i> resident veterinarian, Jorge, who sometimes moonlights as a bartender.<br />
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This year's bachelor is Nick Viall. As we all know, Nick began his journey as an aspiring fame whore under the guise of being a salesperson from Chicago during Andi Dorfman's season of <i>The Bachelorette</i>.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9vH6yXaFzhY/WGcm2_bNNqI/AAAAAAAAKbE/5lt1p-wFrZolmpYO0R90nn54tYnOer-JgCLcB/s1600/Nick%2BViall%2Bdouche.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9vH6yXaFzhY/WGcm2_bNNqI/AAAAAAAAKbE/5lt1p-wFrZolmpYO0R90nn54tYnOer-JgCLcB/s320/Nick%2BViall%2Bdouche.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="color: orange;">While I'll not hide my opinion that this season's star Nick Viall is a complete douche, at least he's more personable than recent stars, FarmersOnly.com spokesman Chris Soules, and that guy named "Ben." </span></td></tr>
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Nick obtained official villain status when he blabbed to America that he had sex with Andi in the "Fantasy Suite" before she ultimately announced that she was choosing Josh Murray instead of him.<br />
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That turned out to be the show's bitter bitch moment that has not even been rivaled by any of it's emotionally unstable and drunk female contestants.<br />
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Since then, Nick ditched his career in favor of becoming a full time employee at the Bachelor mansion.<br />
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That has allowed him to fill in as a contestant on Kaitlyn Bristowe's season, make an appearance on <i>Bachelor in Paradise</i> (where he was able to flip public perception of him being a douche bag into just being a narcissistic little bitch), and even agree to clean up the women's toilets during Ben's season (things sure can get messy after taco Tuesdays and an open craft services margarita bar!).<br />
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My guess is that when all is said and done Nick will ultimately end up passing on whatever girl he chooses in order to parlay his time on <i>The Bachelor</i> into a new career as the next Spencer Pratt, but for now, that's just my educated guess.<br />
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As usual, this season began with more girls with daddy issues, fake boobs and miniature dogs than Hugh Heffner saw during his entire career as the host of The Playboy Mansion.<br />
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Once the girls started arriving at the mansion we were quickly reminded of how <i>The Bachelor</i> brings out all of the types of women that under normal circumstances would prove to be red flags when it comes to dating...Aspiring models, professional cheerleaders, east European immigrants, and special education teachers. <br />
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So with that said, let's take an in depth look at some of the more memorable bitches, I mean ladies of the litter that Nick has to choose from!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange;"><u><b>First Impressions</b></u></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Danielle Lombard</b></span> - Danielle is a bikini and lingerie model from California who managed to open her own nail salon by the age of 23, which was quite impressive considering the fact that she is not even Asian!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xzBtfh38GEg/WHdF-3k9aiI/AAAAAAAAKco/MlsY41l85GM8mUJRyNTFs6sxlx6nwTAYACLcB/s1600/Danielle%2BLombard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xzBtfh38GEg/WHdF-3k9aiI/AAAAAAAAKco/MlsY41l85GM8mUJRyNTFs6sxlx6nwTAYACLcB/s320/Danielle%2BLombard.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">It's hard to argue against Nick Viall keeping Danielle L. as a contestant. Let's just hope that this aspiring underwear model can keep her panties on!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Rachel Lindsay</b></span> - Rachel is an attorney from Dallas. More than just the typical<i> Bachelor </i>token black girl, Rachel L.received Nick's much coveted "First Impression Rose."<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-djAh3FrxrLQ/WHdIzDf9d6I/AAAAAAAAKc0/BhJLjig232csXeeIXr8Y9HY4Viy42ADmwCLcB/s1600/Rachel%2BLindsay.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-djAh3FrxrLQ/WHdIzDf9d6I/AAAAAAAAKc0/BhJLjig232csXeeIXr8Y9HY4Viy42ADmwCLcB/s320/Rachel%2BLindsay.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Could Rachel Lindsay be the first black <i>Bachelor</i> series contestant to actually win? She sure seems to have the intelligence to go along with her good looks, which could ultimately become a problem for Nick Viall. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Taylor Nolan</b></span> - Taylor went to John's Hopkins University and runs a mental health center in Seattle...She also appears to be, surprise, an aspiring model!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3Mfk9FAldmQ/WHc07rbx-aI/AAAAAAAAKbU/Ok8i3wFVLJcIa0r34rU3-bSqpghEpLN7ACLcB/s1600/14295553_687464954733829_1231300312_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3Mfk9FAldmQ/WHc07rbx-aI/AAAAAAAAKbU/Ok8i3wFVLJcIa0r34rU3-bSqpghEpLN7ACLcB/s320/14295553_687464954733829_1231300312_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Taylor Nolan greeted Nick Viall be telling him that her friends think he's a complete piece of shit. While Taylor seems like a super smart girl, she should probably listen to her friends a little more closely!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b><br />Kristen Schulman</b></span> - Originally from Russia, this East European immigrant parlayed being the runner up in Donald Trump's mail order bride website into making an appearance on <i>The Bachelor</i>!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wkvLHBrb0uI/WHc3OUOzh8I/AAAAAAAAKbg/xmO9enjLmcELAQ4Ydw8SGSChI2VnrKvaACLcB/s1600/Kristina%2BSchulman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wkvLHBrb0uI/WHc3OUOzh8I/AAAAAAAAKbg/xmO9enjLmcELAQ4Ydw8SGSChI2VnrKvaACLcB/s320/Kristina%2BSchulman.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Much like Donald Trump, if Nick Vaill were to tire of Kristina Schulman as his wife, he could simply contact Russia and order a younger version. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Liz Sandoz</b></span> - Liz got on the show simply because she was friends with former contestant and former Playboy Playmate, Jade Roper, which likely means that she's an ex-stripper.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w-I2cz75Z64/WHc5xjuMsoI/AAAAAAAAKbs/8cnC2J3qjz8-Xg27X_vu46AS9Rjgco1TACLcB/s1600/12519388_228188217539967_282573779_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w-I2cz75Z64/WHc5xjuMsoI/AAAAAAAAKbs/8cnC2J3qjz8-Xg27X_vu46AS9Rjgco1TACLcB/s320/12519388_228188217539967_282573779_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">While he may not have hit the sex swing, Nick Viall already took Liz Sandoz to the "Fantasy Suite" at Jade Roper's wedding. We'll see how that endears her to the other girls in the house once they find out! </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Hailey Merkt</b></span> - Hailey arrived by asking Nick, "Do you know what a girl wearing underwear says? Neither do I."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IPhkF2RbT2A/WHdMZZVtSrI/AAAAAAAAKdM/9IKU6a25RP0He1UTxoFLKjClA2F_3STrQCLcB/s1600/Hailey%2BMerkt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IPhkF2RbT2A/WHdMZZVtSrI/AAAAAAAAKdM/9IKU6a25RP0He1UTxoFLKjClA2F_3STrQCLcB/s320/Hailey%2BMerkt.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">While Hailey Merkt may dub herself as a hipster, even hipster chicks aren't immune to the "aspiring model" bug. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Astrid Locht</b></span> - Astrid is an office manager for a plastic surgeon in Tampa, which means that she is likely banging him to pay off her fake boobs.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TbnsmoGm3QI/WHdKO_XOxqI/AAAAAAAAKdA/JRf6j5le9rYWFpwtr5BSH-BG4wnBR4TpQCLcB/s1600/15043967_218584558563400_7345990352295165952_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TbnsmoGm3QI/WHdKO_XOxqI/AAAAAAAAKdA/JRf6j5le9rYWFpwtr5BSH-BG4wnBR4TpQCLcB/s320/15043967_218584558563400_7345990352295165952_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Astrid Locht is also a single mom and a former Hooters waitress looking for love...Wait, wasn't that from an Adam Sandler movie?</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Corinne Olympios</b></span> - Corinne is an aspiring model from Ft. Lauderdale, which in south Florida means that she simply got Glamour Shots and blows dudes for free drinks.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kDgVwubK0yU/WHdD8LpJw1I/AAAAAAAAKcc/HQ4o1zuY3Sgvdq8vkLHQgEK8jr_cXmFugCLcB/s1600/14712291_1798947060394510_8262970907987804160_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kDgVwubK0yU/WHdD8LpJw1I/AAAAAAAAKcc/HQ4o1zuY3Sgvdq8vkLHQgEK8jr_cXmFugCLcB/s320/14712291_1798947060394510_8262970907987804160_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Corinne Olympios seems very comfortable topless! Is Nick Viall cool with that as wife material? </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Vanessa Grimaldi</b></span> - Apparently Kaitlyn Bristow made it okay for Canadian girls to apply to be on <i>The Bachelor,</i> although Vanessa Grimaldi is the least desirable of all the different kinds of Canadiens...The dreaded <i>French</i> Canadian.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6xuVojXGSy0/WHdRkKnbB9I/AAAAAAAAKdk/ITE5vDUyYXI8l_OyVuJyFF5VUQ2oU3kiwCLcB/s1600/Vanessa%2BGrimaldi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6xuVojXGSy0/WHdRkKnbB9I/AAAAAAAAKdk/ITE5vDUyYXI8l_OyVuJyFF5VUQ2oU3kiwCLcB/s1600/Vanessa%2BGrimaldi.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Nick Viall seemed to like the French Canadian, Italian Vanessa Grimaldi...Who's kind of hot in a Justin Trudeau kind of way. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Raven Gates</b></span> - Having avoided the dreaded Arkansas "third arm" gene, Raven broke up with her cousin and when she heard she had an opportunity to come on <i>The Bachelor! </i><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gZ6czAjh9YA/WHdN8ejrEvI/AAAAAAAAKdY/IqXnHOchXEQDpVKpp0GXe9jUkplFXHJBgCLcB/s1600/Raven3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gZ6czAjh9YA/WHdN8ejrEvI/AAAAAAAAKdY/IqXnHOchXEQDpVKpp0GXe9jUkplFXHJBgCLcB/s320/Raven3.jpg" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">I'm not usually into southern girls, but Raven Gates is pretty fucking hot. If I was her ex-cousin and I had to watch her go throw herself at a douche like Nick Viall, I'd probably kill myself. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Whitney Fransway</b></span> - While Whitney may be hot, she's yet another aspiring model/yoga instructor from L.A., which means she's likely unemployed because she's just a little too dumb to be a soft core porn actress.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1XTjxiqv82Y/WHc8xY81LWI/AAAAAAAAKb4/oXcy6T3VCvEl3PhNTIvnWeZd0gUXW03KACLcB/s1600/Whitney%2BFransway.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1XTjxiqv82Y/WHc8xY81LWI/AAAAAAAAKb4/oXcy6T3VCvEl3PhNTIvnWeZd0gUXW03KACLcB/s320/Whitney%2BFransway.png" width="314" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">I think it was pretty clear from the opening episode that Nick Viall liked Whitney Fransway. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Lacey Marik</b></span> - While Lacey is a cosmetics manager, she was a poly-sci major who speaks Arabic. That means that she is willing to settle for less than what she is worth, making her the perfect match for Nick Viall.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OOww7QRAiro/WHc9ZGZqs3I/AAAAAAAAKb8/1krva3VyAooz_MtDixqom0iF6tJ7rISPwCLcB/s1600/Lacey%2BMark.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OOww7QRAiro/WHc9ZGZqs3I/AAAAAAAAKb8/1krva3VyAooz_MtDixqom0iF6tJ7rISPwCLcB/s320/Lacey%2BMark.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Lacey Marik arrived at the Bachelor Mansion on a camel saying, "I hear you like a good hump...So do I!" I'm just trying to figure out where the pineapple comes in. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Alexis Waters</b></span> - Alexis is an aspiring dolphin trainer from New Jersey, which I'm pretty sure is a state that has very few dolphins.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-peBb15-y0Fs/WHdCaMssOgI/AAAAAAAAKcQ/_HtcYdQZTCgYE5cVzCgh28blfKQWPm7gwCLcB/s1600/14676623_320711201617600_3439696985035112448_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-peBb15-y0Fs/WHdCaMssOgI/AAAAAAAAKcQ/_HtcYdQZTCgYE5cVzCgh28blfKQWPm7gwCLcB/s320/14676623_320711201617600_3439696985035112448_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Despite arriving in a shark costume and staying in character the entire first night (which included jumping in the pool and making stupid dolphin cackles), Alexis Waters might be the hottest girl on The Bachelor this season! The question that remains is whether or not she's serious about the whole process of being on the show. </span></td></tr>
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The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-8248461800561284352015-06-29T21:54:00.000-07:002015-08-15T22:01:06.109-07:00The Big Brother 17 Blog - "I'm just going to wrap these legs around this pole and hang on for dear life"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A new season of<i> Big Brother</i> is upon us, and we have a new waive of racist and sexist house guests ready to make asses of themselves on national TV.<br />
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Better yet, host Connie Chung isn't pregnant this year, and she's looking hotter than ever...That Maury Povich is a lucky man!<br />
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Upon entering the house, Shelli immediately fell in love with Clay, despite the fact that she's ten years older than him.<br />
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Clay took a liking back saying, "There's a lot of hot women in the house, but Shelli absolutely takes the cake.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nptL0FF03-w/VZIhc_hBzZI/AAAAAAAAKWo/WlBmm7fBamA/s1600/Clay%2BHoneycutt%2Bgirl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nptL0FF03-w/VZIhc_hBzZI/AAAAAAAAKWo/WlBmm7fBamA/s320/Clay%2BHoneycutt%2Bgirl.jpg" width="242" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Shelli Poole is old enough to be the mom of the underage girls that Clay Honeycutt might have fucked on spring break at South Padre Island. </span></td></tr>
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However, as part of the season's "Twin Twist," we'll see how Shelli likes it when Clay tries to start making out with her sister. Then again, maybe it's Shelli' sister that Clay is in lust with...Thanks <i>Big Brother</i>, consider my mind blown.<br />
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Da'Vonne lied to the house and told everyone that she was a school teacher instead of a poker dealer...As if anyone would be intimidated by a card dealer. Not a poker PLAYER, but a fucking DEALER.<br />
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In a more honest note, Caitlyn, I mean Audrey, told her house mates that she's transgendered.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bdYvijz8k48/VY44kNwJmhI/AAAAAAAAKV8/ec2aUZ-O3r0/s1600/audrey%2Bmiddleton%2Bkiss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bdYvijz8k48/VY44kNwJmhI/AAAAAAAAKV8/ec2aUZ-O3r0/s320/audrey%2Bmiddleton%2Bkiss.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">I'm a sucker for girls in glasses, so let's just say I'm glad I'm not on the show...Audrey Middleton makes me all confused and stuff!</span></td></tr>
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Meanwhile, as the dudes all talked about how much they bench pressed, the girls, Audrey, Shelli, Meg and Da'Vonne formed an all girl alliance.<br />
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Before the second half of the house arrived, Connie Chung announced that the house guests would be competing in the first HOH Competition given that the "Battle of the Block," with four initial nominees for eviction, would be in play for the second year in a row.<br />
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The HOH theme was a fake red carpet event for a fake movie called "UFO-Oh-No!"<br />
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The actual competition had the house guests try to catch ten "rotten tomatoes" (or balls) while balancing on a plank in order to become the first HOH.<br />
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In a photo finish with the last four players falling at the same time, James ended up winning the first HOH of the season.<br />
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Connie Chung then revealed the new twist to the show, a weekly "Big Brother Takeover," which seems to involve either a past player or famous person coming into the house to temporarily mix things up with rules of their own.<br />
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On that note, the second wave of house guests arrived.<br />
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The best of which was John, the self dubbed "Rock star dentist," who can best be described as being similar to the "retarted" (the "t" was intentional) clone of Brian from the <i>Family Guy</i>.<br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">"With the way he talks, Johnny Mac of Big Brother reminds me of "Bitch Brian" from <i>Family Guy</i>. </span></div>
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Like all "retarts," John was a little bit self unaware, and just a little bit full of himself. Or as he said, "It's really hard to find a girl who's not a gold digger once you say you're a dentist."<br />
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For some reason, Da'Vonne didn't believe John when he said he was a dentist, while Clay thought Steve was Ian Terry's long lost twin, which obviously added some much needed distrust into the house and game.<br />
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However, it was Vanessa who lied, claiming that she was a D.J. instead of a poker player...You know, because she REALLY wanted everybody to initially hate her.<br />
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More importantly, after everyone moved in and did a "get to know you" round table, there were still two unaccounted seats.<br />
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That's when the initial "Big Brother Takeover" took place, with <i>The Amazing Race</i> host Phil Koeghan taking control of the game.<br />
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And since <i>The Amazing Race</i> took several Big Brother contests on their show, Phil gave <i>Big Brother</i> two of his former <i>Amazing Race</i> players....Jeff (an account executive), and Jackie (a former stripper), who were a "blind date" team on his show last season.<br />
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With that bomb, we moved on to the HOH for the new contestants, with Vanessa agreeing to sit out. That selfless act caused the other house guests all agree not to nominate her no matter who won.<br />
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The Competition itself involved cornfields and aliens in a <i>Hee-Haw</i> like atmosphere, with the the players trying to hold onto a post without getting sucked up by a "UFO," or a harness that was attached to their backs.<br />
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Jackie made no attempt to hide the fact that she was a stripper.<br />
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"I just need to basically use these legs I've been using my entire life as a dancer. I'm just going to wrap these legs around this pole and hang on for dear life."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GKpEWL0J7sM/VZIlJNCEFRI/AAAAAAAAKWw/X7bKN2ec9ww/s1600/Jackie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="156" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GKpEWL0J7sM/VZIlJNCEFRI/AAAAAAAAKWw/X7bKN2ec9ww/s320/Jackie.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Upon further review, Jackie Ibarra of <i>The Amazing Race</i> and<i> Big Brother </i>was not a stripper, it was worse...she was a dancer form the Miami Heat...My apologies to any strippers I may have offended. </span></td></tr>
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With many of the contestants purposefully dropping out to keep the target off of their backs, Jackie ended up taking a deal from Jason to drop off in return for him agreeing not to nominate her, which gave Jason co-HOH honors along with James, the Asian Redneck.<br />
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-68166145594873274762015-06-25T22:49:00.004-07:002016-02-06T20:46:33.933-08:00The Big Brother 17 Blog - Meet The Cast<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A new season of <i>Big Brother</i> is finally upon us, which is my official summer cue to take off my pants and start blogging. <br />
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Some of the twists for <i>Big Brother 17</i> includes the return of the Battle of the Block, or two head of households each week; a "twin twist," with sets of twins subbing in and out for one another during the game; a random twist that will differ from week to week; as well as a transgendered cast member who isn't Bruce Jenner.<br />
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Fortunately, so far there are no returning players, meaning that Rachel Reilly, her boyfriend Brendon, her sister, and their extensive team of plastic surgeons are merely on standby.<br />
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Now let's get to know the contestants and break down their pros and cons based upon <a href="http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_brother/mvp-vote/"><span style="color: orange;">their official bios on the CBS website</span></a>, as well as anything I can find on them from their social media pages.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Audrey Middleton</b>:</span> A 25-year-old digital media consultant from Georgia. <br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Audrey has played a simulated version of the show <i>Survivor </i>using astrology and tarot cards to help determine her strategy, so at least she has some experience when<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Online reality play is one thing, but using religion as the basis for how you play a game like <i>Big Brother</i> in real life is probably not going to cut it. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xhz8Zb81f64/VYtY6UFT6QI/AAAAAAAAKR0/dL_x3l2GMiA/s1600/audrey%2Bmiddleton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xhz8Zb81f64/VYtY6UFT6QI/AAAAAAAAKR0/dL_x3l2GMiA/s320/audrey%2Bmiddleton.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Audrey Middleton was arrested for marijuana possession and loitering in Atlanta a few years back. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Austin Matelson</b>: </span>A 30-year-old pro wrestler from California who goes by the moniker, "Judas Draven."<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Don't let the "pro wrestler" image fool you, Austin was raised by hippies and is into gymnastics, yoga and Pilate's...In other words, he's gay, just like fellow pro wrestler, Jessie Godderz from <i>Big Brother 10</i>.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: I'm not sure that Austin's communal lifestyle will go over too well in the <i>Big Brother</i> house, especially since he lists his luxury items as "three Color Me Badd CD's," with the last two being replacements just in case the first ones broke...Then again, even though it was crappy, Color Me Badd only had one real album, so it's no real surprise that Austin's second and third items were duplicative.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-szWPvk2uJ2w/VYthD_thD4I/AAAAAAAAKSU/O7QpA66n0_0/s1600/austin%2Bmatelson%2Bwrestler%2Bdong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-szWPvk2uJ2w/VYthD_thD4I/AAAAAAAAKSU/O7QpA66n0_0/s320/austin%2Bmatelson%2Bwrestler%2Bdong.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">Austin Matelson: Maybe it's just me, but I don't trust hippies that are into Satan...I guess Charles Manson ruined that whole shtick. On the other hand, with a stage name like "Judas," Austin Matelson just may have a tag team partner in <i>Big Brother</i> all time great, Dan Gheesling. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Becky Burgess</b>:</span> A 26-year-old retail manager from Denver.<br />
<br />
<i><b>Pros</b></i>: Becky seems very athletic, she's into sports, and even things that aren't sports...Like hiking and soccer. <br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: Becky says she's aware of how pretty she is, but doesn't rely on her looks because she's "a total package." In reality, that just means she isn't as nearly as pretty as she thinks she is.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QjYUZ6-Pdqo/VYtoYyJwpYI/AAAAAAAAKSk/qnLKZbt0tk4/s1600/Becky%2BBurgess.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QjYUZ6-Pdqo/VYtoYyJwpYI/AAAAAAAAKSk/qnLKZbt0tk4/s320/Becky%2BBurgess.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Becky Burgess is the type of girl who can even make drinking a beer look pretentious. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Clay Honeycutt</span></b><span style="color: orange;">:</span> A 23-year-old grad student at Texas A&M.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Not only did Clay grow up on a ranch, but he played football at Texas A&M. That means he should be an absolute beast in physical challenges to the point that he makes "Beast Mode Cowboy" look like a little bitch...Then again, "Beast Mode Cowboy" already is a little bitch, but you get the idea. <br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Clay likes to wear a cowboy hat, so it's really hard to like him. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2u8CaMGYUVA/VYydHbR3ZbI/AAAAAAAAKTs/LwXVSJbXU2A/s1600/Clay%2BHoneycutt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2u8CaMGYUVA/VYydHbR3ZbI/AAAAAAAAKTs/LwXVSJbXU2A/s320/Clay%2BHoneycutt.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Clay Honeycutt: It's also hard to like someone when they're an underwear model...That is, unless you're a girl. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Da'Vonne Rogers</span></b><span style="color: orange;">:</span> A 27-year-old poker dealer from Los Angeles.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: The first transgendered <i>Big Brother</i> house guest since Wil Heuser.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: With descriptions like, "Not worried about the opinions of others" and "doesn't like to team up with people," Da'Vonne may be a bit too black to do well in the game with a house full of really, REALLY, white people. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_yTySM-Zio/VYyXjfs1UDI/AAAAAAAAKTU/qE4zydRLfMk/s1600/Da%2527Vonne%2BROgers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-y_yTySM-Zio/VYyXjfs1UDI/AAAAAAAAKTU/qE4zydRLfMk/s320/Da%2527Vonne%2BROgers.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Transgendered <i>Big Brother</i> contestant Da'Vonne Rogers....Dude <i>doesn't</i> look like a lady. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Jace Agolli</span></b>: Jace is a 32-year-old personal trainer from Venice Beach, CA.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Jace also claims to be a semi-pro skateboarder, which would technically make him a professional athlete...?<br />
<br />
<b><i>Cons</i></b>: There's no shame in being honest and admitting that you're unemployed. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jVgZe8ImCKQ/VYtZnAO7UeI/AAAAAAAAKR8/cdXRbKlMnlg/s1600/Jace%2BAgolli.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jVgZe8ImCKQ/VYtZnAO7UeI/AAAAAAAAKR8/cdXRbKlMnlg/s320/Jace%2BAgolli.jpg" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Jace Agolli was busted for disorderly conduct just outside of Atlanta in 2012...Perhaps he was with Audrey Middleton? </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">James Huling</span></b>: A 31-year old retail associate from South Carolina.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Nobody expects him to win?<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: James was Asian until he was adopted by a white family, who turned him into a white redneck. Like most rednecks, James later joined the military and got arrested like most rednecks tend to do.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Jason Roy</span></b>: A 25-year-old supermarket cashier who live with his mom.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Jason claims that he has a big mouth, that he is not afraid of conflict, and that he is not easily intimidated despite being short and skinny and the last person picked in gym class during school. He also plans to form an all female alliance because he does not like men...Well, he <i>does</i> like men, just not in a classical friendly kind of way. In other words, Jason is a bitch.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Jason Roy seems really, really happy to be on <i>Big Brother</i>...And by "happy," I mean <i>really</i> gay. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H6dyISIle5s/VYzFwQuzm_I/AAAAAAAAKUE/b9olQryzVl8/s1600/Jason%2BRoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H6dyISIle5s/VYzFwQuzm_I/AAAAAAAAKUE/b9olQryzVl8/s320/Jason%2BRoy.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">Skinny jeans aren't a good idea when you're super skinny. Then again, they're not a good idea when you're fat either. For a gay guy, Jason Roy needs to get some fashion sense from someone...Perhaps his mom can start laying clothes out for him. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">John McGuire:</span></b> A 27-year-old dentist from Scranton, PA.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: John runs in "Tough Mudders," so he has to have decent endurance for challenges.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Calls himself "Johnny Mac, a/k/a, the rock star dentist," and appears only to be looking for fame and a "showmance."<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vPuv4P6Gh7s/VYzLWujuQaI/AAAAAAAAKUU/MilB8_17U5c/s1600/John%2BMcGuire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vPuv4P6Gh7s/VYzLWujuQaI/AAAAAAAAKUU/MilB8_17U5c/s320/John%2BMcGuire.jpg" width="213" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Just when we thought that dentists couldn't be more unlikable,<i> Big Brother</i> gives us John McGuire.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Liz Nolan</b></span>: A 23-year-old marketing coordinator from Miami.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Graduated cum-laude, so she may not just be another pretty face.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Liz is said to be "a mainstay on the Miami nightlife circuit," so she's probably fucked former Big Brother contestant, <a href="http://my.xfinity.com/blogs/tv/2009/07/13/miami-social%E2%80%99s-hardy-and-katrina-talk-about-their-second-foray-into-reality-show-stardom/"><span style="color: orange;">Hardy Hill</span></a>.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jOR0MNhfmDk/VYzSDovBpHI/AAAAAAAAKUk/X0EPDEtJ5fQ/s1600/Liz%2BNolan%2Bass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jOR0MNhfmDk/VYzSDovBpHI/AAAAAAAAKUk/X0EPDEtJ5fQ/s1600/Liz%2BNolan%2Bass.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Say what you want about her nightlife, Liz Nolan has a great ass. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Meg Maley</span></b>: A 25-year-old server from New Jersey/New York City.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Meg seems like the perfect blend. Good looking, but not so hot and fake that women hate her; Funny, so she can fit in with the guys outside of a showmance; and Sassy, so gay guys love her.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Tried out for the hockey and baseball teams in high school just so she could flirt with boys...No wait, that's a "Pro" for her too.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1GLZAGwBvnw/VYzW5G5HYUI/AAAAAAAAKU0/KmJPGBBwQ2c/s1600/Meg%2BMaley.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1GLZAGwBvnw/VYzW5G5HYUI/AAAAAAAAKU0/KmJPGBBwQ2c/s320/Meg%2BMaley.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Meg Maley is just quirky enough that she might fool some people and fly under the radar. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Shelli Poole</span></b>: A 33-year-old interior designer from Atlanta. <br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: As part of this season's "twin twist," at least one of the two might be likable, right? <br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Got turned down for <i>Real Housewives of Atlanta</i> because she got divorced, so Shelli was forced to settle on <i>Big Brother</i> to pursue fame.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Slxhn1Lwdh0/VYza4SVmTlI/AAAAAAAAKVA/cZNxiZw8KhM/s1600/big-brother-17-shelli%2BPoole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Slxhn1Lwdh0/VYza4SVmTlI/AAAAAAAAKVA/cZNxiZw8KhM/s320/big-brother-17-shelli%2BPoole.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">As twins, hopefully Shelli Poole and her sister got the same size of fake boobs, or else they'll be easy to tell apart. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Steve Moses</span></b>: A 22-year-old Ivy Leaguer from New York who's still a virgin.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Apparently he's a genius, which may or may not be indirectly proportional to being a virgin.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: His plan to throw people off from his intellect involves sleeping with a teddy-bear...If Steve was serious about throwing people off about how smart he really is, he'd sleep with Shelli.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mtZ1SdHmZ1A/VYzgHpeXmzI/AAAAAAAAKVQ/zPhGkqul3Wk/s1600/Steve%2BMoses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mtZ1SdHmZ1A/VYzgHpeXmzI/AAAAAAAAKVQ/zPhGkqul3Wk/s320/Steve%2BMoses.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Steve Moses: Older people can no longer make the cast of <i>Big Brother</i>, but guys like this can...sigh.</span> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Vanessa Rousso</b></span>: A 32-year-old professional poker player from Las Vegas.<br />
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: She's a professional poker player, so she thinks that makes her a strategist.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Being a professional poker player makes Vanessa only slightly smarter than the dude who works at a grocery store and lives with his mom.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FcmXQcIhmdM/VYzkO73GNGI/AAAAAAAAKVc/wF4ysWT-H4M/s1600/Vanessa%2BRousso.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FcmXQcIhmdM/VYzkO73GNGI/AAAAAAAAKVc/wF4ysWT-H4M/s320/Vanessa%2BRousso.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">A super air-brushed pic of Vanessa Rousso...Don't get too worked up guys, she's got a girlfriend.</span> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-62084291708969434222015-05-24T20:12:00.001-07:002015-05-24T20:12:42.565-07:00Blogging Survivor: Worlds Apart - "Silly redneck, you're going to get what's coming."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The final episode of the season began with Carolyn forced to justify to her alliance why she didn't tell them she had an Immunity Idol.<br />
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After Carolyn reminded them that they tried to blindside her, and that they would have succeeded in voting her out had she not played it, the contestants all moved on to the final Reward Challenge.<br />
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That challenge required the players to navigate an obstacle course while retrieving tiles, and then using those tiles to solve a puzzle the fastest in order to receive time with a loved one from back home.<br />
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Mike ended up winning the challenge, along with time with his mother and an advantage at the next Immunity Challenge.<br />
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Mike's mom got to spend the night at camp, and seemed impressed that Mike wasn't as fat as he used to be.<br />
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As for the Immunity Challenge advantage, Mike got to spend 30 minutes alone with his mom going through a maze that the players were going to have to navigate while blindfolded.<br />
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That advantage ended up coming in handy, as Mike easily won Immunity for the 4th time.<br />
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With Immunity in hand, Mike cut final three deals with Sierra and Carolyn, as well as Rodney and Will heading into Tribal Council.<br />
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In the end, Sierra was voted out, as Mike decided to go with his "bros" over the "ho's."<br />
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With Sierra gone, the final four competitors moved on to the next Immunity Challenge, which was yet another knot maze/obstacle course to find pieces and solve a a puzzle.<br />
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Right on cue, Mike won Immunity yet again, putting him in elite company in <i>Survivor</i> history with five Immunity wins, for which he gave praise to his lord and savior, Richard Hatch.<br />
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While Rodney was convinced that Mike would keep Will and himself safe over Carolyn, Will wasn't so sure, and rightfully so.<br />
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Sure enough, Mike promised Carolyn that he wouldn't vote her out, but also added the caveat that he wanted the vote to come down to a tie where she and Will would have to make fire the fastest in order to stay in the game.<br />
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So in other words, Mike wasn't so much promising her that he'd keep her safe as he was trying to tell her, "Go out in the woods and practice building fire."<br />
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Of course, "Momma C" was unable to start a fire even after practicing with the tribe's flint, leaving her "advantage" going into Tribal Council in question.<br />
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At Tribal Council, the vote did in fact come down to a tie between Carolyn and Rodney, just as Mike had indicated, which lead to them squaring off in a fire making contest to make it to the final three.<br />
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However, both Carolyn and Rodney exhausted their flints without being able to make fire...Several times.<br />
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After over an hour, Rodney was finally able to start his fire first, but Carolyn followed by getting hers going immediately after he did.<br />
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And while Rodney started off a bit quicker, Carolyn built a better base and ended up winning.<br />
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That left Mike as a Blue-Collar, Will as a No-Collar, and Carolyn as a White-Collar in the final three.<br />
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Boston Guy wasn't too happy with the way he went out, delusionally thinking that he would have won the whole game had Mike not sent him to the fire making competition.<br />
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In fact, he almost seemed to threaten him.<br />
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"For this scumbag redneck to make it into a fire making competition...You scared little baby. Silly redneck, you're going to get what's coming."<br />
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After Boston Guy's gracious exit, we went straight to the Final Tribal Council, where all of the bitter losers on the Jury got to take their shots at the final three contestants, as well as Jeff Probst.<br />
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Mike ended up defeating Carolyn and Will in the Jury Vote, and thanked Jesus Christ for paying the price for his sins "many years ago."<br />
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Apparently Mike had an open line of credit with "The Almighty," as it soon came out that Mike had intentionally lied to his BFF, Dan, during the game.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p-8Hq_kR_50/VWKPa3dbl6I/AAAAAAAAKRI/uXuum3ddGzk/s1600/Rodney-Survivor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p-8Hq_kR_50/VWKPa3dbl6I/AAAAAAAAKRI/uXuum3ddGzk/s320/Rodney-Survivor.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">Rodney LaVoie, having calmed down from his tantrum upon exiting the show, apparently spared no expense at the Salvation Army for his suit for the finale.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The final few minutes was reserved for the few, the proud, and the bitter....Namely Dan and Shirin.<br />
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Dan had a bone to pick with Jeff Probst, claiming that he was misportrayed on the show, claiming that no matter what the cameras appeared to show, he's really smart and doesn't hate women.<br />
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And after Dan gave specific references to when and how his quotes were taken out of context, Jeff went back to the uncut footage, which proved his claims to be erroneous...He really was nothing more than a misogynistic postal worker.<br />
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Shirin tried to claim that public opinion was against Will after she falsely accused him of stealing/hording food, which, at least according to the reactions I received via this blog and on Twitter, was not the case the case at all.<br />
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And while Will even went as far to offer up an apology to Shirin, who was actually the one in the wrong, she refused to accept it. Actually, she didn't end up flat out rejecting it outright, but she added so many conditions to accepting it that the broadcast ran out of time.The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-22361407854484394402015-05-17T20:58:00.000-07:002015-06-13T13:14:25.386-07:00The Bachelorette Blog - "Meet the Cast"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Th<i>e </i>new season of <i>The Bachelorette</i> is upon us.<br />
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This year ABC is starting with two different<i> Bachelorettes</i>, Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson, with rumor having it that only one of the two will make it to the second show.<br />
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Further rumor has it that Britt will be the one going home.<br />
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As we all know, Kaitlyn is a...Well, let's just say that we know she's from Canada. We also know that she's not afraid to tell dirty jokes or moon a camera if it gets her a laugh.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zVdBEnQoF5A/VVGTBLsaPNI/AAAAAAAAKNM/S-tnzqXFsSE/s1600/Kaitlyn%2BBristowe's%2Bass.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zVdBEnQoF5A/VVGTBLsaPNI/AAAAAAAAKNM/S-tnzqXFsSE/s320/Kaitlyn%2BBristowe's%2Bass.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe dropping trow and showing the North Americas her Canadian ass. </span></td></tr>
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As usual, the casting call for <i>The Bachelorette </i>brought out the worst that "man" kind has to offer: Ed Hardy t-shirts, personal trainers, aspiring actors/models/musicians, and soccer players.<br />
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With that said, let's take a look at Kaitlyn's...I mean Kaitlyn <i>and</i> Britt's prospective men.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">First Impressions</span> - </b></span><span style="font-size: small;">A
non exhaustive list of the guys on the show this season, and my initial impressions of them from their bio's and social media pages:</span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;">Brady Toops -</span> A former baseball player at the University of Arkansas, Brady Toops decided to give up a minor league career in order to move to Nashville and wear "deep-V" shirts...I mean become country singer, which speaks volumes about his character...Only in the worst possible way.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-36hbAgEATyk/VVGaonXcYsI/AAAAAAAAKNc/ZWnJG7FbzlI/s1600/Brady%2BToops%2BBag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-36hbAgEATyk/VVGaonXcYsI/AAAAAAAAKNc/ZWnJG7FbzlI/s320/Brady%2BToops%2BBag.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Brady Toops is rumored to have left <i>The Bachelorette</i> in order to date Britt Nilsson after she was not chosen to be <i>The Bachelorette</i> by a majority of the guys. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Ryan McDill - </span>Ryan McDill is the owner of "All Star Auto Parts," which when you look into it, is really just a junkyard. Given that he works with trash for a living, that makes McDill's long term relationship with Nikki Ferrell (before she won <i>The Bachelor</i> with Juan Pablo) make all that more sense.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Hn7CpgExoLk/VVGarEJe9yI/AAAAAAAAKNk/LFzAujTpxPE/s1600/Ryan%2BMcDill%2B%26%2BNikki%2BFerrell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Hn7CpgExoLk/VVGarEJe9yI/AAAAAAAAKNk/LFzAujTpxPE/s320/Ryan%2BMcDill%2B%26%2BNikki%2BFerrell.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Ryan McDill is Nikki Ferrell's ex-boyfriend. You may remember her from when she "won" the right to be Juan Pablo's bitch.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Clint Arlis</span> <span style="color: orange;">-</span> A former collegiate wrestler at Illinois, Clint Arlis describes himself as "cocky and confident" and is currently an architectural project engineer in Chicago.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-o_hzEXJasH4/VVGcCN4AZpI/AAAAAAAAKNw/n-P4yTKHry4/s1600/Clint%2BArlis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-o_hzEXJasH4/VVGcCN4AZpI/AAAAAAAAKNw/n-P4yTKHry4/s320/Clint%2BArlis.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Clint Arlis seems like the type of guy who would come to your party and secretly pee in your ice box when no one was looking. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Corey Stansell -</span> Corey Stansell once owned a "College Hunks Hauling Junk" franchise, which means that he used to work for Ryan McDill (see above).<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ELG5nrPLF98/VVGfKscMHjI/AAAAAAAAKOE/PcmnvYr6CFg/s1600/Corey%2BStansell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ELG5nrPLF98/VVGfKscMHjI/AAAAAAAAKOE/PcmnvYr6CFg/s320/Corey%2BStansell.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">I love that Corey Stansell apparently thought so much of his volleyball skills to hash tag his own name on his photos. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Shawn Booth</span> <span style="color: orange;">-</span> Shawn Booth is a former college soccer player who went to become a group fitness trainer in Nashville. His bio indicates that he likes "Bro Country" and One Direction, which seems about right for a soccer player.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-389vYQDLJ3s/VVGczCLrRuI/AAAAAAAAKN4/nrtd_Jm7vxo/s1600/Shawn%2BBooth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-389vYQDLJ3s/VVGczCLrRuI/AAAAAAAAKN4/nrtd_Jm7vxo/s320/Shawn%2BBooth.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">As a "bro," we should all pray for Shawn Booth's future.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Ryan Beckett -</span> An "equestrian real estate agent" from Boca Raton, FL, Ryan Beckett lists his hobbies as playing polo, show jumping, golf, tennis and sailing.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-55y0Oqsy8L0/VVGgGeHMEpI/AAAAAAAAKOM/guZeLDPFhLk/s1600/Ryan%2BBeckett.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-55y0Oqsy8L0/VVGgGeHMEpI/AAAAAAAAKOM/guZeLDPFhLk/s320/Ryan%2BBeckett.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">Basically Ryan Beckett is the douchey white guy in every John Cusack movie in the 1980's. </span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Daniel Finney</span> <span style="color: orange;">-</span> Daniel Finney describes himself as a socialite and philanthropist from Nashville, which basically means that he throws keggers and gives his guests cab money to get home. He also has his own clothing and furniture lines where he uses reclaimed materials.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TcUvBvd1ctk/VVGgyijpLOI/AAAAAAAAKOY/s3BE6sIv5X4/s1600/Daniel%2BFinney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TcUvBvd1ctk/VVGgyijpLOI/AAAAAAAAKOY/s3BE6sIv5X4/s320/Daniel%2BFinney.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Daniel Finney is obviously just came on <i>The Bachelorette</i> to promote his clothing line, so let's just show his his tablecloths and get it over with. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Shawn Evans -</span> While he describes himself as a "realtor" from Ontario, Shawn Evans also turns out to be an "amateur sex coach," and while I was afraid to Google what that means, I'm 100% sure it means he has to register with authorities and can't live withing 500 yards of a school or park.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FDgV33sOfXU/VVGkYC5x5XI/AAAAAAAAKOk/3wU5DibyKPw/s1600/SHawn%2BEvans.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FDgV33sOfXU/VVGkYC5x5XI/AAAAAAAAKOk/3wU5DibyKPw/s320/SHawn%2BEvans.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Shawn Evans also bills himself as a "single dad." Unfortunately, his daughter lives with her mother, not him, so while he's technically single, he's not really much of a "dad."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">J.J. Lane III -</span> J.J. Lane is a single dad from Denver who describes himself as an entrepreneur.<br />
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<tr><td><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DQwSibV--Fs/VVGmIeJ1bmI/AAAAAAAAKO4/nlKKF2gzzLM/s1600/JJ%2BLane%2BIII.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DQwSibV--Fs/VVGmIeJ1bmI/AAAAAAAAKO4/nlKKF2gzzLM/s320/JJ%2BLane%2BIII.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><span style="color: orange;">Unlike Shawn Evans, we have evidence that J.J. Lane III actually gets to see his kid. </span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;">Tanner Tolbert -</span> Tanner Tolbert, an assistant finance manager for Honda in Kansas City, is yet another dude who loves "Bro Country." I don't get it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ybhnx1slEDs/VVGlMX3P-bI/AAAAAAAAKOs/OnySq7oNvUA/s1600/Tanner%2BTolbert.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ybhnx1slEDs/VVGlMX3P-bI/AAAAAAAAKOs/OnySq7oNvUA/s320/Tanner%2BTolbert.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Tanner Tolbert: Unlike casting calls for <i>The Bachelor</i>, <i>The Bachelorette</i> apparently didn't require the prospective contestants to take their shirts off. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;"><br />Ben Higgins -</span> Ben Higgins is business analyst from Denver...That's pretty much it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JP6f8roZeKQ/VVGOyxIIqmI/AAAAAAAAKL0/C5t5kvfYlRw/s1600/Ben%2BHiggins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JP6f8roZeKQ/VVGOyxIIqmI/AAAAAAAAKL0/C5t5kvfYlRw/s320/Ben%2BHiggins.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Ben Higgins...Not sure how he got on the show.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Ben Zorn - </span>A former football player at San Jose State, Ben Zorn is now a fitness trainer and lists his biggest accomplishment as obtaining his certification as a personal trainer.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s1gA1R4ogOE/VVGm5_MjBQI/AAAAAAAAKPA/9TkjPOw7tKo/s1600/ben%2Bzorn.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s1gA1R4ogOE/VVGm5_MjBQI/AAAAAAAAKPA/9TkjPOw7tKo/s1600/ben%2Bzorn.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Ben Zorn<span style="font-size: small;">: </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">B</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">ecoming a personal trainer</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">is kind of the adult equivalence of passing the Presidential Physical Fitness Test back in grade school. Sure you get a nice certificate, but it doesn't mean anything more than you being able to do the "flex arm hang." </span></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Bradley Cox -</span> Bradley Cox is a former D-1 collegiate tennis player, and now sells cars in Atlanta.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Rd0j7TxgvWM/VVGnqh91RpI/AAAAAAAAKPM/_Z9KnmtxNas/s1600/Bradley%2BCox.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Rd0j7TxgvWM/VVGnqh91RpI/AAAAAAAAKPM/_Z9KnmtxNas/s1600/Bradley%2BCox.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Bradley Cox said in his bio that he would want to be Tom Brady, so he could play in prime time and go home to have sex with a super model who looks like a dude. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Chris Strandburg -</span> Currently a dentist in Nashville, Chris Strandburg was once an Abercrombie model and a contestant on <i>The</i> <i>Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency</i>.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fcT0fIXz9Q0/VVGO3bnqycI/AAAAAAAAKL8/GyR93JtJ1SA/s1600/Chris%2BStradburg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fcT0fIXz9Q0/VVGO3bnqycI/AAAAAAAAKL8/GyR93JtJ1SA/s320/Chris%2BStradburg.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">So in other words, Chris Strandburg is either gay, or he's covered in Janice Dickenson's stink. Either way, his past is not going to go over well on the show. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Cory Shivar</span> <span style="color: orange;">-</span> Cory Shivar indicated that his biggest fear about a date is finding out that she's really a dude, so he had to be relieved when this year's <i>Bachelorette </i>wasn't<i> </i>Jillian Anderson from last season with Chris Soules.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sV1FKwBZiaQ/VVGO5h277JI/AAAAAAAAKME/iMNMWkV4Fmw/s1600/Cory%2BShivar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sV1FKwBZiaQ/VVGO5h277JI/AAAAAAAAKME/iMNMWkV4Fmw/s320/Cory%2BShivar.jpg" width="233" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">Cory Shivar graduated Cum Laudie in Construction Management, which is kind of like graduating at the top of your class in psychology...You still didn't really go to college. </span> </td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">David Blackguy</span> <span style="color: orange;">- </span>David is a 26-year-old real estate agent in Orlando, which after the housing market crash in central Florida, has to be about as difficult as being one of the token black guys on <i>The Bachelorette</i>.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-00zkQsWwCm4/VVGPAUGKEuI/AAAAAAAAKMM/QMB2QIDg8EM/s1600/David%2BBlackguy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-00zkQsWwCm4/VVGPAUGKEuI/AAAAAAAAKMM/QMB2QIDg8EM/s1600/David%2BBlackguy.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">David <span style="font-size: xx-small; text-align: start;">I'm not really sure what David's real last name is, and I'm not really sure that he'll be around long enough for me to find out.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Ian Thompson</span> <span style="color: orange;">-</span> Ian Thompson went to Princeton, only to settle to become a "recruiter," showing just how bad the economy is these days.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-InhsNxwXV4k/VVGPHKAI5eI/AAAAAAAAKMU/3KgP3V1lMxI/s1600/Ian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-InhsNxwXV4k/VVGPHKAI5eI/AAAAAAAAKMU/3KgP3V1lMxI/s320/Ian.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Ian Thompson </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Jared Haibon</span> <span style="color: orange;">-</span> Jared Haibon lists himself as an aspiring actor/model, but he's really just a restraurant manager given that he's 26 and still lives in Rhode Island.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RryULDxVaB4/VVGoxXlI3WI/AAAAAAAAKPc/urfOtRF0u2k/s1600/Josh%2BHaibon%2Bmodel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RryULDxVaB4/VVGoxXlI3WI/AAAAAAAAKPc/urfOtRF0u2k/s320/Josh%2BHaibon%2Bmodel.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Jared Haibon: Somebody got suckered into buying "glamour shots" at the mall!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Joe Bailey -</span> Joe Bailey is an insurance salesman. He also calls himself a racehorse owner, but lives in the part of Kentucky where they don't grow thoroughbreds, so I'm thinking this guy is full of shit.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PquGtKoa20Q/VVGPJwm2ArI/AAAAAAAAKMc/Vs7iXdfTKsI/s1600/Joe%2BBailey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PquGtKoa20Q/VVGPJwm2ArI/AAAAAAAAKMc/Vs7iXdfTKsI/s320/Joe%2BBailey.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Joe Bailey apparently got his casting call one year too late, as he's on record as saying, "I would totally appear on <i>The Bachelorette</i> to fall in love with Andi Dorfman. Sadly, that says as much about his taste in women as it does about his intentions for this season. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Jonathan Holloway</span> - A 33-year-old auto spokesman from Detroit, Jonathan claims to "Always try to listen to a woman's needs, not just in the bedroom," which is his polite way of saying that he "doesn't go down."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Cz6ZZBX-NHM/VVGoj8XBrlI/AAAAAAAAKPU/8kHQW9ONRdc/s1600/Jonathan%2BHolloway.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Cz6ZZBX-NHM/VVGoj8XBrlI/AAAAAAAAKPU/8kHQW9ONRdc/s320/Jonathan%2BHolloway.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Jonathan Holloway: There are token reality show black guys, and then there are black guys from Detroit. Ever since VH-1 cancelled their dating shows, they all end up on The Bachelorette.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Josh Seiter</span> - Josh is a 27-year-old law student from Chicago.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vlZBe7S-TUc/VVGOaC9HXlI/AAAAAAAAKLg/pZ1E7MCVTtI/s1600/Josh%2BSeiter%2Bundies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vlZBe7S-TUc/VVGOaC9HXlI/AAAAAAAAKLg/pZ1E7MCVTtI/s320/Josh%2BSeiter%2Bundies.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Josh Seiter is also a stripper by night, proving that some people really do put themselves through law school by stripping, it's just that none of them are women. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="color: orange;">Joshua Albers</span> - Joshua Albers actually majored in theater at Idaho State University, which was his way of trying to tell his friends and family that he was gay before he went to technical college and became a welder.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AQYBFromPGg/VVGPSh_Ix_I/AAAAAAAAKMo/G0IiTlpk-gU/s1600/Joshua%2BAlbers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AQYBFromPGg/VVGPSh_Ix_I/AAAAAAAAKMo/G0IiTlpk-gU/s320/Joshua%2BAlbers.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Joshua Albers, showing the perils of bad tattoos. When you live in cool places, you get talented artists who ink your designs. When you live in Idaho, you get little kids who color starfish and drink coasters on your arms in permanent marker. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Justin Reich</span> - Justin Reich is a personal trainer and single dad from Illinois.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rd23nJzTIIg/VVGPVmU7bkI/AAAAAAAAKM0/Zu6SmAg7maM/s1600/Justin%2BReich.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rd23nJzTIIg/VVGPVmU7bkI/AAAAAAAAKM0/Zu6SmAg7maM/s320/Justin%2BReich.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;"><span style="text-align: start;">Given that it looks like he has his son at a monster truck rally, the state of Illinois might want to reconsider </span>Justin Reich's custody arrangement (in fairness to Justin, at least he made his kid wear earphones).</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: orange;">Kupah James</span> - A 32-year-old "Entrepreneur" from Boston, Kupah James apparently thinks that having a Macbook and an iTunes account makes you a D.J.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SqYtsaYKPeg/VVGPYvrsC-I/AAAAAAAAKM8/jqiEuJ4QyDI/s1600/Kupah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SqYtsaYKPeg/VVGPYvrsC-I/AAAAAAAAKM8/jqiEuJ4QyDI/s1600/Kupah.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Is it a coincidence that Kupah James set up his D.J. table along side what appears to be a group of fat white women doing yoga? Yeah, that was a rhetorical question. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: orange;">Tony Harris</span> - Tony Harris is a 35-year-old "healer" from St. Louis. If I was on the show, the first thing I would do is punch him in the face.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HJvA19NhyUM/VVGPhQEMMAI/AAAAAAAAKNE/sWNo4Mk8-V0/s1600/Tony%2BHarris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="236" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HJvA19NhyUM/VVGPhQEMMAI/AAAAAAAAKNE/sWNo4Mk8-V0/s320/Tony%2BHarris.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">A "healer" like Tony Harris seems like a better match for somebody like Jenny McCarthy than Kaitlyn Bristowe. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-14912081196552861952015-05-14T20:47:00.002-07:002015-05-14T22:35:35.965-07:00Blogging Survivor: Worlds Apart - "A reward that will fix wishin'!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week's episode of <i>Survivor</i> began with everyone in "The Alliance" against Mike, who had managed to stay in the game the last two weeks only by winning Personal Immunity and playing a Hidden Immunity Idol.<br />
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Dan even drew a line in the sand regarding Mike saying, "I have zero interest in working with Mike...It's the fact that he's so arrogant, he's so condescending. To Hell with Mike, to Hell with his Idol!"<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uEbkd0jRY0U/VVVrYLvkoeI/AAAAAAAAKQM/fc7iZV6xGNo/s1600/Dan%2BFoley%2BCheeseburgers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uEbkd0jRY0U/VVVrYLvkoeI/AAAAAAAAKQM/fc7iZV6xGNo/s1600/Dan%2BFoley%2BCheeseburgers.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Dan Foley then started to hallucinate, and began eating an imaginary cheeseburger. </span></td></tr>
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The Reward Challenge was yet another obstacle course, where the teams divided into teams of three and raced to release puzzle pieces, and then solve that puzzle in order to win a helicopter ride and a surf and turf dinner.<br />
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Unfortunately, neither team was initially able to solve the puzzle, which Jeff Probst hinted as being a phrase that he had said "over and over" throughout the years as the host of the game.<br />
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That caused Boston Guy to guess, "A reward that will fix wishin!", as even Dan laughed at him.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-T9vRCPfiVNw/VVWFLpn2lrI/AAAAAAAAKQk/qqIHW9PZirc/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-T9vRCPfiVNw/VVWFLpn2lrI/AAAAAAAAKQk/qqIHW9PZirc/s320/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" width="314" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Apparently Rodney Lavoie, Jr. and Brandon Hantz tied in their Survivor "Wonderlick" scores at "0."</span></td></tr>
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Mike, Carolyn and Will correctly guessed, "A reward with all the fixin's," causing Rodney to lose yet another Reward Challenge.<br />
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Carolyn debated out loud about weather or not to keep her reward or give it to Rodney, but in the end she embarrassed him by announcing, "Alright, I'm going to keep it."<br />
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Back at camp, Boston Guy began to plot his revenge for Carolyn not giving him her reward despite the fact that she won and he didn't, if that makes any sense.<br />
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The Immunity Challenge saw the players using grappling hooks to retrieve a bag of balls, and then try to use those balls to solve a table maze.<br />
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Apparently having growin up without a dad, Boston Guy proved to be unable to throw his hook better than any of the girls.<br />
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Equally as uncoordinated, Dan exclaimed, "I suck at life"<br />
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Jeff Probst gave the play by play, exclaiming, "Mike is in that inner circle! He just has has to drop it in that final hole...Mike is in the hole! He's back out!"<br />
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And after Mike got done having sex with Sierra, he went on to win Individual Immunity and said, Thank you Jesus," referring to having sex with Sierra, not winning Immunity.<br />
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With Mike winning Immunity and "The Alliance" forced to turn on each other, Dan was of the belief that Carolyn, who had a Hidden Immunity Idol at her disposal, was the next in the pecking order to go, while the rest of the tribe was considering voting Dan out.<br />
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But when "The Alliance" gave that information to Mike, he decided to use it to his advantage and approached Dan to get him, and his extra vote, on his side.<br />
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Of course Dan was in denial, and even said, "Mike has the audacity, the unmitigated gall, to look at me and say, 'I can save you!'"<br />
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At Tribal Council, Boston Guy was asked about how much he trusted his fellow alliance members.<br />
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"At day 35, trust is uh..trust is uh...Let me think, I'm kind of, out of my mind right now a little bit."<br />
<br />
Jeff Probst referred to Boston Guy's fatigue asking, "Your brain really has to work hard to try and form a sentence?"<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">Rodney Lavoie's inability to form a sentence had had less to do with fatigue than it had to do with him being a "Bro" from Boston.</span></div>
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Sure enough, Rodney had to ask Jeff, "So, what was the question again?"<br />
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After the votes were cast, Dan decided to play his advantage, which as most everyone knew, was getting to cast two votes at a Tribal Council, and he foolishly cast them both for Carolyn.<br />
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Carolyn then boldly proclaimed, "I'm not taking any chances, Jeff," as she played her Idol and said, "I'm not going home tonight."<br />
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As it turned out, that play saved Carolyn's ass, as she received 5 votes to Dan's 2, but none of the votes against her counted, sending Dan's foolish ass back home to Maine.<br />
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And with the game down to five players and Carolyn realizing that her alliance had attempted to turn against her, we're left wondering, 'Can Mike flip Carolyn and Sierra and change the game?'The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-12048696154634468872015-05-08T20:27:00.002-07:002015-05-08T20:27:49.601-07:00Blogging Survivor: Worlds Apart "It's just my old fat ass"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week's episode of <i>Survivor</i> began with Mike, the only player who wasn't part of the dominant alliance, holding a Hidden Immunity Idol that the others all knew about.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-25c7d7X_EcE/VUxNR6Q1z_I/AAAAAAAAKJk/PspOOjfdo4I/s1600/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bhockey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-25c7d7X_EcE/VUxNR6Q1z_I/AAAAAAAAKJk/PspOOjfdo4I/s320/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bhockey.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">"U Can't Do That" - By holding onto an Immunity Idol, Mike Holloway<br />all but assured that he couldn't be voted out this week.</span></td></tr>
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That meant, in all likelihood, that the alliance would be forced to vote one of their own out this week, assuming that Mike played his Idol.<br />
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Knowing that either he, or someone in his alliance would be going home, Dan was paranoid after having received two votes at the previous Tribal Council, tipping him off that he was at the ass end of their totem pole.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fkFcyQ0d42g/VUxYmTkCELI/AAAAAAAAKJ0/SHxqgMzOLM4/s1600/Dan%2BFoley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fkFcyQ0d42g/VUxYmTkCELI/AAAAAAAAKJ0/SHxqgMzOLM4/s1600/Dan%2BFoley.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">And honestly, if I was designing a totem pole, I'd want this image of Dan Foley at the bottom of it. </span></td></tr>
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But before things got real, the Reward Challenge saw the players divide into two tribes and navigate a maze, and then launch the balls that they collected into a series of net targets on a slanted wooden platform.<br />
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The prize for the winning team was getting to deliver supplies to some local orphans, as well as having a BBQ feast with the local village that they were helping.<br />
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Ironically, Rodney forgot the grab the balls for the blue team, which was pretty much all you can assume a dude from Boston would be good at.<br />
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Rodney's gaff allowed Mike, Sierra and Carolyn to win the reward, although he still tried to guilt one of them into giving up their spot to him because it was his birthday and he was yet to win a Reward Challenge.<br />
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Unfortunately for Rodney, nobody was buying in on his sob story, which caused him to mope, "0-5 in Reward Challenges, and a bunch of scumbags who neglected me on my birthday."<br />
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Rodney's victim attitude caused Carolyn to comment, "When you think about it, this is not a horrible birthday, you're on <i>Survivor</i> for God's sake!"<br />
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While the winners were off getting their reward, Rodney came up with the plan to say he had <br />"checked out," and that he wanted to be voted out of the game as a ploy to lull Mike into not playing his Immunity Idol.<br />
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That caused Dan appease Rodney by saying, "I think it's pretty smart," before telling the camera, "I do not think for a second that it's going to work, and that's alright with me. Let him have his moment of explosion."<br />
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And when Rodney asked everyone else, "Why would he play it if I'm acting so good?", Tyler deadpanned, "Because it's <i>Survivor</i>."<br />
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Sure enough, when Mike first heard Rodney try to sell his story, he didn't buy it.<br />
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"I see right through the plan. Try to make me feel like I'm safe so I don't play my Idol. That ain't happening brother. (I'm) not an idiot. Just because I talk slow, doesn't mean I think slow.<br />
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The much important Immunity Challenge had the competitors balance on a small ledge and lean back while hanging onto a rope, and then give the rope more slack while leaning back even farther as the challenge progressed.<br />
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Rodney tried to sell his sob story of why he was eliminated by saying he just wasn't into it when he let go, while Dan was a little more honest when he said, "It's just my old fat ass Jeff."<br />
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Carolyn ended up winning over Tyler, which left Dan as the obvious target in the event that Mike played his Idol.<br />
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However, Dan realized as much, and still had an extra vote in his pocket as his advantage from the auction.<br />
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At Tribal Council, Tyler seemed secure when Jeff asked him about the prospect of getting voted out. "Would I be surprised? Yes."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RAj2dzlMvP8/VUxY6DL3iAI/AAAAAAAAKJ8/rvOCJba3cpk/s1600/Tyler%2BFredrickson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RAj2dzlMvP8/VUxY6DL3iAI/AAAAAAAAKJ8/rvOCJba3cpk/s320/Tyler%2BFredrickson.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">At least Tyler Fredrickson finally found something that would allow him to keep wearing a helmet after his playing days at Cal wound up. </span></td></tr>
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In the end, Dan voted to send Mike home, which could have sealed his own fate, but as it turned out, he must have known something, as Tyler was the one who was voted out in a major blindside.The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-35392215580517353562015-05-05T22:05:00.001-07:002015-05-08T20:28:43.819-07:00Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - "I love cheeseburgers!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week's episode of <i>Survivor</i> began with Shirin trying to explain her aggressive reaction after getting called out by Will for falsely accusing him of hoarding tribal food, when he in fact had kindly offered to share all of his personal winnings from the food auction with the rest of the tribe.<br />
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Shirin defended herself by saying, "I have this "Pavlov's Dog" reaction to men yelling at me," which she attributed to her biological father verbally abusing her, and was apparently her way of telling everyone that she spent her early twenties as a stripper.<br />
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Even Dan seemed to see through her saying, "Shirin is a drama queen, she is a two faced liar, she loves to play the victim," which again, seemed to confirm that she used to be a stripper.<br />
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The Reward Challenge saw the tribe divide into two different teams, where they were only allowed to use barrels and planks to get themselves across a field without anyone, or their planks, touching the ground, with the winning team earning a catamaran cruise with a burger bar and pies for dessert.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--Vjm_kMd9Xk/VU1-16E48pI/AAAAAAAAKKk/Pv6LCcQhD90/s1600/Dan%2BFoley%2Blikes%2BCheeseburgers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--Vjm_kMd9Xk/VU1-16E48pI/AAAAAAAAKKk/Pv6LCcQhD90/s1600/Dan%2BFoley%2Blikes%2BCheeseburgers.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">That seemed to spark Dan Foley, who put up the fight of his life as he declared, "I love cheeseburgers!"</span></td></tr>
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And the moral of the story turned out to be "never underestimate a hungry fat guy," as Dan, Tyler, Will and Carolyn ended up winning with their slow and conservative approach.<br />
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At camp, Rodney, a loser in every challenge so far, declared that he needed some "Rodney time," while Mike and the rest of their team decided to choke a chicken.<br />
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The Immunity Challenge required the competitors to hold on to a rope that was attached to bag with 25 percent of their body weight, with the winner for both the males and females gaining Immunity.<br />
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Sadly, Dan was eliminated before the contest event started, as he was unable to lift his 75 pounds.<br />
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Carolyn ended up winning Immunity for the women, while Mike proved to be stronger than Rodney and held on the longest for the men.<br />
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Back at camp, Shirin tried to make a case for staying in the game by saying how awful of a player she was.<br />
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Unfortunately, she was talking to Dan who said, "Of course I'd love to sit next to Shirin in the finals, nobody likes her."<br />
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Meanwhile, Tyler went through Dan's bag, and found out that he had earned an extra vote at a Tribal Council from the advantage that he won at last week's auction.<br />
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While Shirin and Dan both looked to be in trouble, in addition to having won Individual Immunity, Mike also had a Hidden Immunity Idol, which he considered giving to Shirin heading into Tribal Council, as he said, "just to shake things up."<br />
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At Tribal Council, Shirin campaigned to stay in the game by calling out Tyler, who despite being solid in his alliance, was the biggest threat as the games' best physical player.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GjcYetSW36A/VUme5sKcj0I/AAAAAAAAKI4/8breIR3IAmA/s1600/Tyler%2BFredrickson%2Bkicker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GjcYetSW36A/VUme5sKcj0I/AAAAAAAAKI4/8breIR3IAmA/s1600/Tyler%2BFredrickson%2Bkicker.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Then again, Tyler Fredricks was a soccer player. </span></td></tr>
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But when Mike chimed in to sell voting him out too, Tyler jumped in and pointed out how Mike couldn't be trusted after flipping on his own alliance last week.<br />
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"And they're listening to you because your loyalty has been spot on in the last week?"<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wlopAhkdbTs/VUmemTp5JKI/AAAAAAAAKIo/PNdx-hA6qvQ/s1600/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bhockey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wlopAhkdbTs/VUmemTp5JKI/AAAAAAAAKIo/PNdx-hA6qvQ/s1600/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bhockey.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">Why in pink Mike Holloway? Why in pink?</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
When Jeff asked Mike if he had anything to say, he jumped in and said, "Yeah, absolutely, I know Shirin and I are not going home tonight," as he indicated that he was going to give Shirin his Immunity Idol.<br />
<br />
Mike then went on to say, "Here's the plan, Jeff. Shirin's voting for Tyler, I'm voting for one of the other four who doesn't have Immunity, and uh, you take your chances," making it know that the smart play for the alliance members would be to vote out Tyler if they wanted to assure their own safety.<br />
<br />
Shirin voted for Tyler as planned, and even had the balls to add a little cut at him by saying, "Just sit there and look pretty."<br />
<br />
Of course, after everyone voted, Mike said to Shirin, "I love you girl," but failed to give her his Immunity Idol as he had indicated.<br />
<br />
And when the votes were read, Mike's selfishness failed him, or at least it failed Shirin, as the alliance held strong and she was voted out.<br />
<br />
That left Mike with an Immunity Idol, but no allies left in the game.<br />
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-69695343708134234412015-04-23T17:43:00.002-07:002015-04-23T17:43:20.266-07:00Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - "It's like a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week began with the classic <i>Survivor</i> food auction episode.<br />
<br />
Will began by bidding $100 on a mystery item turned out to be a ticket out of the auction and back to camp.<br />
<br />
And with the black guy gone, Jeff cruelly announced that the next item up for bid would be fried chicken and waffles, while the white women began grinding on Dan as Will walked off in tears.<br />
<br />
Mike held onto all of his cash in order to bid on an advantage in the game, but not before Jeff offered up a notes from everyone's loved ones.<br />
<br />
The contestants agreed to set the winning bid at $20, which would allow everyone to buy their note from back home for the same price and leave them all on equal footing to bid for the advantage in the game.<br />
<br />
However, while Mike told everyone that he was buying his loved one note, he backed away once everyone else had bought theirs in order to save his entire wad for the much coveted "advantage."<br />
<br />
That caused Carolyn to bring her unread note back to Jeff to get her money back, which in turn caused Mike to reconsider being a douche and buy his note like everyone else who actually loved their family had promised to do.<br />
<br />
With Carolyn, Mike and Dan all having their full stash of money, Dan won the tie-breaker for the advantage by drawing rocks.<br />
<br />
Fortunately for Will, when he arrived back at camp he received a map to a private stash of food and drinks to help him through the rest of the game. Unfortunately for Will, there were no white women.<br />
<br />
For some reason known only to Will and Oprah, he decided to share his rations with the rest of the tribe.<br />
<br />
Worse yet, Mike and Shirin assumed that the stash that Will was gracious enough to share was meant for the entire tribe, and that what he did in fact share (which was everything he received), was not everything he received.<br />
<br />
That accusation caused Will to flip the fuck out, telling Shirin "Nobody likes you. I guarantee that (there's) nobody (at) home (or) in the United States that misses you."<br />
<br />
Of course, being the hero that she thinks she is, Jenn indicated that she might stick around to mess up Will's game, even though he was in the right and that she had already quit playing the game.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Mike decided to attack Boston Guy by saying, "Three famous words, flippers never win." That caused Boston Guy to flip out by repeatedly telling Mike, "You better relax!" as Mike was the one who held kept his cool and Boston Guy kept yelling.<br />
<br />
Dan opened up his advantage and learned that he he had bought himself an "extra vote" at Tribal Council. Or as he said, "It's like a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket!"<br />
<br />
At the Immunity Challenge, Will asked Jeff Probst if he could sit out to receive his letter from back home like everyone else did, saying that his family was more important to him than winning Immunity.<br />
<br />
And when Jeff said that he'd grant his wish, but only if everyone else agreed, Shirin was the only one who cast a dissenting vote.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iS9lflS35R8/VTmB_kXkehI/AAAAAAAAKGs/WrJZ_gkwl5Y/s1600/Shirin%2BOskooi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iS9lflS35R8/VTmB_kXkehI/AAAAAAAAKGs/WrJZ_gkwl5Y/s1600/Shirin%2BOskooi.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: lime; font-size: x-small;">And because Shirin Oskooi is a giant devil bitch, Will was denied his letter from back home. </span></span></td></tr>
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<br />
The Immunity Challenge involved racing over a balance beam course to place six different balls in balls in a a menorah like fixture using only a set of tonges.<br />
<br />
Mike ended up winning Individual Immunity.<br />
<br />
However, Mike's alliance still did not have numbers on their side, and while Will was given the option of voting the Shirin out, he actually wanted to keep her around just to make her life miserable.<br />
<br />
Noting that Dan was the swing vote, Jenn noted, "My entire game is in dumbass's hands," forgetting that she's not exactly a rocket surgeon herself. <br />
<br />
Dan took being the swing vote the only way he possibly could, and let the power go to his head, causing him to yell at everyone who was lobbying for his vote that it was going to be, "My decision!"<br />
<br />
At Tribal Council, Will denied attacking Sharin.<br />
<br />
Sharin rebutted that comment by saying, "He started talking about how I have no family, how I'm a loser, how more people in this game like him than like me in my entire life."<br />
<br />
While that made it seem like Will had in fact attacked Shirin, he responded perfectly by telling Jeff, "That's true though."<br />
<br />
And when Shirin continued to plead her case against Will by saying, "That I have no soul, that he needs to pray for me," he once again defended his comments by saying, "That's true though!"<br />
<br />
Shirin then went on to call everybody out for not standing up for her since her biological dad verbally abused her and a bunch of other stuff that I stopped listening to. <br />
<br />
After Shirin finally got done airing her grievances, Boston Guy called Mike out for trying to manipulate the auction and lying about buying his letter from home before Carolyn called his his not so tricky trickanery out.<br />
<br />
In the end, Jenn was voted out, sending her back home to her much beloved family, yachts, and cheeseburgers.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aEOE1X-q1bQ/VTmRasW0asI/AAAAAAAAKHA/0_gaLESsM8w/s1600/Jenn%2BBrown.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aEOE1X-q1bQ/VTmRasW0asI/AAAAAAAAKHA/0_gaLESsM8w/s1600/Jenn%2BBrown.png" height="320" width="314" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">I actually think that Jenn Brown would look better with a cheeseburger tattooed on her belly. </span></td></tr>
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<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-32471200906778160122015-04-17T22:29:00.003-07:002015-04-17T22:29:40.127-07:00The Survivor Blog - "I still hate you."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week's <i>Survivor</i> began with Jenn suddenly wanting quit the game because her BFF Hali got voted out, which made no sense at all considering that she had to know that she'll look so much prettier going forward without Hali standing next to her all the time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--PrKeQd0O4Q/VTHddEkRt8I/AAAAAAAAKGY/WxNjFG1F_RI/s1600/Hali%2BFord%2B%26%2BJenn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--PrKeQd0O4Q/VTHddEkRt8I/AAAAAAAAKGY/WxNjFG1F_RI/s1600/Hali%2BFord%2B%26%2BJenn.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Hali Ford might not be considered pretty outside of laws school, but she knows how to pick the right accessories that make her look better, like Jenn Brown. </span> </td></tr>
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<br />
The Reward Challenge saw the contestants divide into two teams and navigate an aquatic obstacle course in order to be the fastest to retrieve five rings floating in the water with a grappling hook.<br />
<br />
With the winning team earning a trip to what Jeff Probst dubbed the "Chocolate Cafe," Dan, Sharin, Tyler, Mike and Sierra ended up winning unlimited candy bars, as well as unlimited trips to the rest room.<br />
<br />
In a case of "I know what you've been doing, but you've been doing it wrong," Sierra came down with herpes on her neck, while Joe had an outbreak on his pecs. <br />
<br />
While the others were away at their reward, Boston Guy successfully lobbied to kill a chicken, which all but eliminated Jenn's final ally in camp.<br />
<br />
At the Immunity Challenge the contestants had to stand on their toes and use the top of their heads to keep a block pinned against a beam that was above them without slouching and letting it fall.<br />
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Joe finally lost his first Immunity Challenge, which allowed Tyler to claim Individual Immunity.<br />
<br />
Back at camp, Joe claimed that he was going to play an Idol that he didn't have, so the jewelry maker went to work and constructed a fake Idol out of a stash of drift wood, sea shells and the remnants of Dan's underpants, all of which he had found washed up on the beach.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lFn9_PiWFfQ/VTHcim6IeII/AAAAAAAAKGQ/ogFaUVX-x6I/s1600/IMG_0285%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lFn9_PiWFfQ/VTHcim6IeII/AAAAAAAAKGQ/ogFaUVX-x6I/s1600/IMG_0285%5B1%5D.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Joe Anglim may go down as the best all around player in the history of Survivor who never made it longer than people like Shirin or Jenn Brown. </span></td></tr>
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<br />
Better yet, Joe promised to give Mike the fake Idol, but only if Mike promised to vote for Jenn instead of himself.<br />
<br />
At Tribal Council, Jenn continued her half ass approach to staying in the game, even though she clearly wanted to go home, by trying to explain why she competed hard enough to finish second in the Immunity Challenge.<br />
<br />
Jenn began by saying, "I don't like this, but I really do want this," before going on to state, "It would be really cool to win that necklace."<br />
<br />
Of course, she said she would have just given the Idol to Joe had she won it just to mix things up given that everyone was planning on voting for him, so it was all clearly just a game to her.<br />
<br />
However, when Jeff offered Jenn the chance to do the right thing and let Joe stay in the game by simply walking away, Jenn refused and selfishly stated, "That's quitting, and I don't do quitting."<br />
<br />
Joe made it known that he wanted to stay in the game that he loved and lobbied against Jenn by saying, "She's already quit mentally, emotionally and physically."<br />
<br />
Joe also noted how people might be willing to take Jenn all the way to the end because she didn't give a shit anymore, which come to think of it, just might have been her plan all along.<br />
<br />
Mike then asked Jeff Probst to verify the fake Immunity Idol that Joe had given him, which Jeff refused to do until he officially played it.<br />
<br />
In what turned out to be a confusing vote to the non-power players, Tyler cast his vote for Jenn but said, "I have no idea what is going on."<br />
<br />
Likewise, Boston Guy voted for Joe while saying, "I have no idea what is going to happen tonight."<br />
<br />
And when Mike got up and played Joe's fake Immunity Idol by announcing, "I'm going to play it for Will," Jeff informed him, "This is NOT a Hidden Immunity Idol. Any votes cast for Will will still count."<br />
<br />
Fortunately for Will, nobody voted for him, and it all came down to Joe and Jenn.<br />
<br />
And Just as the final vote was about to be read with Jenn and Joe tied 4 to 4, Jenn gushed, "This is exciting," almost as if she was sailing around the world on a whim in a yacht that her parents had given her.<br />
<br />
Upon hearing Jeff say that it was Joe who was voted out, Shirin, in her first likable moment all season, looked at Jenn and said while sneering, "I still hate you."<br />
<br />
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-30489599222914316732015-04-08T22:48:00.002-07:002015-04-08T22:48:24.049-07:00Blogging Survivor: Worlds Apart - "Maybe she's an idiot savant, but I'm leaning more towards the idiot side."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week's Survivor began Boston Guy upset with Mike for switching his vote at Tribal Council from Hali to Jenn, which allowed Jenn to play her Idol and eliminate Kelly instead of Hali as they had planned.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WT-B9J_VEMI/VSYMpMGCRGI/AAAAAAAAKFU/NlfWssWE8UM/s1600/Jenn-Brown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WT-B9J_VEMI/VSYMpMGCRGI/AAAAAAAAKFU/NlfWssWE8UM/s1600/Jenn-Brown.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-small;">Meanwhile, Jenn Brown let her little bit of success go straight to her ass...Just like everything she eats. </span></span></td></tr>
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<br />
Boston Guy was also upset that the new tribe was rationing their food, which is kind of hard for someone who is only smart as dog to understand.<br />
<br />
But instead of biting, Boston Guy impressed everyone when he said, "Every time I get mad I'm just going to walk away, maybe punch a tree or something, and then come back in there with a fresh 'cool, calm and collected mindset," which was apparently something that he actually took away from his anger management classes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jau7HDCbFwM/VSYL4xhieaI/AAAAAAAAKFM/Y0oq4WTnB58/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jau7HDCbFwM/VSYL4xhieaI/AAAAAAAAKFM/Y0oq4WTnB58/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" height="320" width="314" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-small;">Rodney Lajoie, Jr. - </span></span><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-small;">Sadly, I get the feeling that there are trees all over Boston missing bark, with an equal number of douchey dudes walking around with their hands wrapped up in ice dancing like they were Gronk. </span></span></td></tr>
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<br />
The Reward Challenge required the contestants to navigate a series of balance beams to retrieve bags of puzzle pieces, with the top three finishers getting to compete to complete their puzzle for a zip line tour and pizza party.<br />
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Joe ended up being the fastest on the beams and his puzzle to win reward, and he chose Tyler, Will and Carolyn to join him.<br />
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And when Jeff Probst announced that he could take a 5th person, Boston Guy lobbied to go.<br />
<br />
However, Joe dismissed by telling him that he already ate more than anybody around camp, and he chose Shirin to go instead.<br />
<br />
At the pizza party, Carolyn ended up with a bottle of soda that had an Immunity Idol clue in it, but was so oblivious that she offered the rest of her drink to Joe.<br />
<br />
Tyler saw Joe nearly choke on the clue as he tried to swallow it, so Joe felt compelled to share it with him back at camp.<br />
<br />
Of course, Mike saw Tyler read the clue with Joe, so Tyler felt compelled to tell him what the clue said...Which started a mad dash to search for the Idol.<br />
<br />
Mike, who was the least deserving person, ended up finding the Idol, which he wanted to use to help get rid of Joe.<br />
<br />
Dan confronted Shirin, or whatever her name is, for what he described as her being content as, "Yet another fan who can't do simple math," in reference to her willingness to be on the ass end of the numbers game so long as she wasn't next up to be evicted.<br />
<br />
And when Shirin responded by saying that she had a plan in place Dan said, "Maybe she's an idiot savant, but I'm leaning more towards the idiot side."<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CM8ZJHbGWnw/VSYLsc5M8FI/AAAAAAAAKFE/dMFjtr6tdQE/s1600/Dan%2BFoley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: magenta;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CM8ZJHbGWnw/VSYLsc5M8FI/AAAAAAAAKFE/dMFjtr6tdQE/s1600/Dan%2BFoley.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">As somebody who's just along for the ride, Dan Foley probably shouldn't be one to judge. </span></td></tr>
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At the Immunity Challenge, the contestants only had to navigate a slide puzzle through a table maze and then solve that puzzle.<br />
<br />
After twice proclaiming victory, Dan was, well, wrong both times. That allowed Joe to come from behind and win, which pretty much shit in Mike's Easter Basket.<br />
<br />
That was Joe's third Individual Immunity Challenge win, which has to put him in the conversation for being one of the most dominant <i>Survivor</i> players ever, at least when it comes to just the challenges.<br />
<br />
At camp, the girls all bonded together, not to because they were trying to make a big move to win the game, but because the annoying but harmless Dan had hurt their feelings and they wanted to vote him out.<br />
<br />
And while Jenn and the girls seemed confident in their plan, it was Hali who was voted out over Dan when Sierra elected not to flip. In the process, Dan nearly wet himself, while Boston Guy to laughed out loud.<br />
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<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-25430394213897205382015-04-05T22:16:00.001-07:002015-04-05T22:16:53.376-07:00Blogging Survivor: Worlds Apart - "Jeff, I really don't want to go home tonight"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week's Survivor began with Boston Guy having a full blown Boston Tear Party over his pal Joaquin getting blindsided last week, thanks in part due to Mike.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-V534gWKCagw/VSIO4Ojix-I/AAAAAAAAKEY/S7hjhGVlPiM/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-V534gWKCagw/VSIO4Ojix-I/AAAAAAAAKEY/S7hjhGVlPiM/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: lime;">Rodney Flajoie, Jr. is the type of guy who thinks that Rob Gronkowski dances cool. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
What was thought to be a Reward Challenge turned out to be the final merge, with the final tribe, "Merica," getting the chance to bond over a feast and a case of the shits.<br />
<br />
However, in a mini twist, while the tribes were gone, their camp was completely removed by the producers so they had to completely rebuild.<br />
<br />
Mike and Boston Guy decided to reconcile after the merge, and they compared their decision to get back together to having "make-up sex."<br />
<br />
The Immunity Challenge required the players to wrap their arms and legs around a pole and hold on the longest in a test of endurance,<br />
<br />
During the challenge Jenn got stung by a bee on her lady parts, which was obviously attracted to the nasty nectar stain on the vaginal region of her swimsuit.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fzThj67LOVw/VSIPvacPzDI/AAAAAAAAKEg/EeLSnhai-Fw/s1600/Jenn%2BBrown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fzThj67LOVw/VSIPvacPzDI/AAAAAAAAKEg/EeLSnhai-Fw/s1600/Jenn%2BBrown.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Jenn Brown may want to burn her swimsuit bottoms once Survivor is over. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
In the end, Joe won the first Individual Immunity necklace of the season, which may have saved his ass and put the focus on the former Blue Collars heading into Tribal Council.<br />
<br />
Former White Collars Tyler and Carolyn turned out to be the swing votes, with the option of voting out No Collar Jenn, or Blue Collar Kelly.<br />
<br />
At Tribal Council, Will summarized the uncertainly to Jeff Probst by telling him, "You may get voted out tonight...I hope <i>you</i> have an Idol."<br />
<br />
As it turned out, Jenn decided to play her Idol and said, "Jeff, I really don't wan't to go home tonight," which turned out to be a brilliant play, as she would have been voted out.<br />
<br />
That sent Kelly home instead, allowing Jenn and her vag stain to play on.<br />
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-25994735172141696332015-03-26T22:38:00.003-07:002015-03-26T22:38:45.078-07:00Blogging SURVIVOR: "Is that something about me and my personality?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lDK5ZaFo9XY/VO7A02vfE3I/AAAAAAAAJ90/sJ-FfTS8PAI/s1600/Survivor%2BWorlds%2BApart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lDK5ZaFo9XY/VO7A02vfE3I/AAAAAAAAJ90/sJ-FfTS8PAI/s1600/Survivor%2BWorlds%2BApart.jpg" /></a></div>
<i><br /></i>
This week's Survivor began with the remaining two tribes adjusting life after the first merge.<br />
<br />
More specifically, the Blue Tribe had to adjust to Shirin, who complained about nobody wanting to align with her, which caused her to ask the rhetorical question, "Is that something about me and my personality?"<br />
<br />
At the Blue Tribe, Boston Guy proclaimed that he didn't trust Mike because he goes to church, doesn't drink, and "doesn't potty," which I would think would actually be a redeeming quality around camp.<br />
<br />
The Immunity Challenge involved climbing up an obstacle tower as a team, and then launching beanbags at a series of targets with slingshots.<br />
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Believe it or not, Fat Jenn did better than Boston Guy when it came to flicking beans, and the Red Tribe ended up winning beef stew, mac and cheese, and a bad case of the hot cocoas.<br />
<br />
Not being able to come to grips over losing to a girl, Boston Guy decided he needed to throw the next Immunity Challenge in order to get rid of Joe, who he viewed as his main competition when it came to getting with the girls<br />
<br />
Mike went along with Boston Guy's plans, but only to keep his true ally, Kelly, safe on the Red Tribe, where he felt that she was unprotected as the sole "Blue Collar."<br />
<br />
The Immunity Challenge was a game of memory, with contestants from each team going one-on-one to memorize a sequence of items...Needless to say, Boston Guy didn't do very well.<br />
<br />
Almost on script, the finals came down to Mike, who was trying to throw the challenge, and Kelly who Mike was trying to help win.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Id3mR71RnpU/VROLl8vDfpI/AAAAAAAAKDk/ZhgspHk9lGQ/s1600/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bhockey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Id3mR71RnpU/VROLl8vDfpI/AAAAAAAAKDk/ZhgspHk9lGQ/s1600/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bhockey.jpg" height="319" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">Mike Holloway proves why people from the south who don't drink shouldn't be allowed at pro hockey games. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Unfortunately, Kelly was too dumb to take Mike's clues, and ended up needing three different tries to get things right, as Mike kept intentionally getting his sequence of items wrong. Needless to say, that didn't make Mike look too good.<br />
<br />
However, as stupid as Kelly was, she was still smart enough to be appreciative of what Mike did for her.<br />
<br />
"When I knew Mike was throwing the challenge and helping me out, that was the first time in my life I think I totally ever trusted somebody." Sadly, Kelly's story began when her dad died shortly after he sexually molested her.<br />
<br />
Mike immediately seemed to regret his decision to throw the challenge, recognizing Boston Guy and Joaquin were working together as the new power couple.<br />
<br />
That caused Mike to approach Joe and Sierra about splitting the two of them up; however, Sierra wasn't sure, mainly because she hated Dan so much that she didn't want to work with him, even if it was best for her game.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t0nf5zLqbWM/VROMpevwjiI/AAAAAAAAKDs/TvyY_R_oRiI/s1600/Sierra%2BDawn%2BTHomas%2Bmodel%2Bshirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t0nf5zLqbWM/VROMpevwjiI/AAAAAAAAKDs/TvyY_R_oRiI/s1600/Sierra%2BDawn%2BTHomas%2Bmodel%2Bshirt.jpg" height="170" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Sierra Dawn Thomas: I'm pretty sure that going pantless violates the Mormon code of conduct. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
At Tribal Council, everything revolved around wooing Sierra, who was the obvious swing vote.<br />
<br />
In the end, Joaquin was blindsided, which actually left his BFF, Boston Guy, even more blindsided than he was.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2eV0Zj_M6I/VRTsqGWzWQI/AAAAAAAAKEA/LHeCyyUgVfs/s1600/Joaquin%2BSouberbielle%2BJersey%2BSHore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2eV0Zj_M6I/VRTsqGWzWQI/AAAAAAAAKEA/LHeCyyUgVfs/s1600/Joaquin%2BSouberbielle%2BJersey%2BSHore.jpg" height="320" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Joaquin Souberbielle fared much better back when he was on the Jersey Shore. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-82488367553214159582015-03-21T10:56:00.001-07:002015-03-21T10:56:26.315-07:00Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - "I think I'm going to go try to poop. If I don't try, it won't happen, right?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><br /></i>
This week's Survivor was hyped as a special two hour episode, which really just turned out to be two separate episodes played back to back.<br />
<br />
It all began with a Reward Challenge, which saw each tribe appoint a "caller" to guide pairs of blindfolded teammates through a maze to collect three different items and raise them up a scaffold.<br />
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After several near genital mutilations, things got interesting for the "Blue Collars" when Sierra dropped their scaffold down on a blindfolded Kelly's head, which split open like a coconut.<br />
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<br />
And while the medic was called in to asses the bleeding, Kelly elected to power on.<br />
<br />
The "No Collars" ended up winning, with the "White Collars" coming in second. That gave the "No Collars" a flock of chickens, the "White Collars" ten eggs as a consolation prize.<br />
<br />
Because it was Will's birthday, the "No Collars" decided to slaughter one of their new chickens, because all black people love fried chicken.<br />
<br />
And all stereotypes aside, Will declared his love for fried chicken, and seemed to appreciate every bite.<br />
<br />
Of course, killing a chicken caused vegetarian Jenn to get all butt hurt, or at least gave her an excuse to walk out into the woods and search for the Idol, which she found without even having a clue.<br />
<br />
Momentarily thinking that she was on<i> Diners, Drive-ins and Dives</i> instead of <i>Survivor</i>, that caused Jenn to exclaim, "Winner, winner, chicken dinner!" #CatchphraseFail.<br />
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At the "Blue Collar" tribe, Boston Guy got himself in trouble by saying that girls need to hold themselves to a higher standard than guys when it comes to hooking up, and that just about caused Lindsey's ribbons to pop out of her hair.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-size: x-small;">And when she scolded Boston Guy, "If you were my son, I'd break your jaw and feed it to you for breakfast," I think Lindsey Cascaddan meant it.</span></div>
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Not knowing what to do after getting called the fuck out by a girl, Boston Guy decided to make their dispute personal, but only really quietly, and only after making sure that Lindsey wasn't around to hear him.<br />
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Specifically, Boston Guy wondered about Lindsey, "Who the Hell gets a tattoo on their damn face unless they have some serious problems?"<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QAgRI4psqXw/VQ2eN6xPoKI/AAAAAAAAKC8/qBrYQJI8g-I/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJunior..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QAgRI4psqXw/VQ2eN6xPoKI/AAAAAAAAKC8/qBrYQJI8g-I/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJunior..jpg" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">Of course, that came from the same guy who apparently let a five year-old draw all over his body with permanent markers, so Rodney Lavoie, Jr., a/k/a Boston Guy, might just want to let that one go.</span></div>
<br />
The Tribes then went on to an Immunity Challenge, where each tribe first had to maneuver through a rope maze obstacle course, and then use a system of levers to navigate several balls up a table maze.<br />
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The "No Collars" won immunity, with the "White Collars" finishing in second, which sent the "Blue Collars" to Tribal Council.<br />
<br />
That caused Dan to give his unsolicited opinion to Boston Guy on talking to Lindsey, and for that matter, on talking to women in general.<br />
<br />
"There's to ways listen to people in the world. You can listen like a guy, or you can listen like a girl. When you listen like a guy, you try to solve the problem. When you listen like a girl, you empathize, you just nod your head and agree."<br />
<br />
And just when you thought that Dan might be on to something profound he proclaimed, "I am so much smarter than I look," as he nodded his head and smiled in approval of what he had just said.<br />
<br />
Boston Guy actually could have took a cue from Dan, but instead declared, "I'm going to be the leader here no matter what, I'm the Tom Brady here," which I think was actually his way of indirectly apologizing and saying that he's going to start letting the women take charge.<br />
<br />
At Tribal Council, Lindsey, Sierra and Kelly all lashed out at Rodney (Boston Guy) for the way he talked to women, who defended himself by (sigh), once again proclaiming that women should hold themselves to higher standards than men.<br />
<br />
That even caused Jeff Probst to jump in and scold, "That comment just offended millions of women," to which Rodney, still seemingly oblivious, replied, "What? That women should hold themselves out of higher respect?"<br />
<br />
And maybe Boston Guy was onto something, as after a tie vote it was Lindsey was sent packing.<br />
<br />
That lead us to the second Reward Challenge of the episode, where Jeff Probst announced that they'd be re-drawing for tribes by saying, "Drop your buffs!"<br />
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The Blue Tribe consisted of Dan, Mike, Sierra and Rodney from the "Blue Collars," who were joined by Tyler, Joe and Joaquin.<br />
<br />
The Red Tribe had "No Collars" Will, Hali and Jenn, along with "White Collars" Max and Shirin, with former "Blue Collar" Kelly as the de facto swing vote<br />
<br />
The challenge itself saw a member of each new tribe launch balls with catapult, as their teammates tried to catch them in a lacrosse style net.<br />
<br />
The Blue Tribe ended up winning the reward, which turned out to be a pack of kitchen supplies, along with everything from the old "White Collar" camp.<br />
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Tyler seemed happy with the the merge saying, "Sierra seems to be kind of the broken puppy...I've always said, bring me your poor, your tired, your huddled survivors. I want the broken people to come with me."<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6VW1OzpGUNg/VQ2sDMDauPI/AAAAAAAAKDM/-nt5pJJvhNI/s1600/Tyler%2BFredrickson%2BTyler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6VW1OzpGUNg/VQ2sDMDauPI/AAAAAAAAKDM/-nt5pJJvhNI/s1600/Tyler%2BFredrickson%2BTyler.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">That makes Tyler Fredrickson the the male equivalent of the girl who was sexually molested as a child who grows up to rescue animals. </span></div>
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At the Blue Tribe, Jenn immediately developed a dislike for Shirin after Shirin shared just a little bit too much information when she announced. "I think I'm going to go try to poop. If I don't try, it won't happen, right?"<br />
<br />
After Shirin dropped her deuce, we moved on to the Immunity Challenge, which consisted of navigating an obstacle course as a team and then using a wrecking ball to smash a series of ceramic pots.<br />
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With the Blue Tribe winning Max gushed, "The biggest thing about that challenge to me was not smiling too big after we lost it. I'm really happy to go to Tribal Council and change the dynamic around camp."<br />
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Fortunately for the Blue Tribe, Max got his wish.<br />
<br />
And with the voting completed, Max bluffed playing an Idol by interrupting and saying, "Hey Jeff, hold up bro," before saying, "I just always wanted to say that."<br />
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Sure enough, Max was voted out, leaving the former college professor who once taught a course on <i>Survivor</i> on the outside of the Jury looking in.<br />
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-36891257572061141572015-03-16T21:31:00.001-07:002015-03-16T21:31:40.650-07:002015 Post Free Agency NFL Mock Draft<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Here is my Post Free Agency 2015 NFL Mock Draft. It will be followed by regular updates up until the NFL Draft on April 30th.<br />
<br />
My mock draft has been linked by <a href="http://www.footballfanspot.com/nflmockdraftdatabase.htm"><span style="color: orange;">The Football Fan Spot</span></a>, <a href="http://sportsjabber.net/mock-draft-database/"><span style="color: orange;">Sports Jabber</span></a>, <a href="http://www.dcprosportsreport.com/MockDraft.htm"><span style="color: orange;">DC Pro Sports Report</span></a>, <a href="http://walterfootball.com/draftdata.php"><span style="color: orange;">Walter Football</span></a>, <a href="http://www.fftoolbox.com/nfl_draft/2011/nfl-mock-draft-database.cfm"><span style="color: orange;">FF Toolbox</span></a>, <a href="http://hailredskins.com/"><span style="color: orange;">hailRedskins.com</span></a>, <a href="http://www.thefootballexpert.com/mockdraftdatabase.html"><span style="color: orange;">The Football Expert</span></a>, <a href="http://fantasyfootballhelpdesk.net/"><span style="color: orange;">Fantasy Football Help Desk</span></a>, <a href="http://www.thehuddlereport.com/"><span style="color: orange;">The Huddle Report</span></a>, <a href="http://www.ninersnation.com/pages/2012-niners-nation-nfl-mock-draft-database"><span style="color: orange;">Niners Nation</span></a>, <a href="http://eatdrinkandsleepfootball.com/draft/mock-draft-database/nfl.html"><span style="color: orange;">EDS Football</span></a>, <a href="http://nflmockdraftcentral.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: orange;">NFL Mock Draft Central</span></a> and <a href="http://www.nflprozach.com/"><span style="color: orange;">NFL Pro Zach</span></a> in their Mock Draft Databases.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">1st Round</span></b></div>
<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><b>1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers</b> <b>– Jameis Winston, QB, Florida State:</b></span><br />
<br />
<i>Should the Buccaneers play it safe with Marcus Mariota, or go with the more talented Jameis Winston?</i><br />
<br />
Tampa Bay has their choice between the consensus top two quarterbacks in the draft. Coming from a pro-style offense and possessing the stronger arm, Jameis Winston has the edge between the sidelines. With higher character and better decision making on and off the field, Marcus Mariota has the edge between the ear holes. When in doubt, NFL GM's selecting at the top of the draft typically go with the stronger arm. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>2. Tennessee Titans</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b> </b></span></span></span></span></span></span><b><span style="color: orange;">– </span></b><b style="color: orange;">Leonard Williams, DE, USC</b><span style="color: orange;">:</span><br />
<br />
<i>Will the Titans trade out of the No. 2 spot?</i><br />
<br />
The Titans could be at a position of strength at the No. 2 spot with teams looking to trade up for Marcus Mariota. As for now, Mariota's suitors are still speculative, and Tennessee could use a versatile defensive end like Leonard Williams to anchor their 3-4 defense.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>3. Jacksonville Jaguars</b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"> <span style="color: orange;"><b>– Dante Fowler, Jr.:</b> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Which top DE will the Jaguars select in the 1st Round?</span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
The Jaguars should have their pick of speed rushers in the draft. The question is whether they will go for a true 4-3 defensive end like Dante Fowler, Jr. of Florida, or one of the smaller but speedier pass rushers who may be better suited to play outside linebacker. While the Jaguars could use both a defensive end and an outside linebacker for their "LEO" position, Fowler is the best fit for their scheme.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><b>4. Oakland Raiders </b>- <strong>Kevin White</strong><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><strong>, WR, West Virginia:</strong> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Who will emerge as the top wide receiver in the draft? </span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Derek Carr and the Raiders desperately need a go-to receiver. Kevin White demonstrated elite size, speed and ball skills at West Virginia, and may have confirmed his status as the top wide receiver in the draft with a strong performance at the Scouting Combine. </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><b>5. Washington Pigskins - </b></span><b style="color: orange;">Randy Gregory, OLB, Nebraska:</b><br />
<br />
<i>Which pass rusher will fall to the Pigskins?</i><br />
<br />
While it may seem like Brian Orakpo was never really ever in Washington to begin with, the team still has a need to fill at pass rusher. Randy Gregory of may be the cream of the crop when it comes to 3-4 outside linebackers.<br />
<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><br /><span style="color: orange;"><b>6. New York Jets</b> <b>– </b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><b><span style="color: orange;">Marcus Mariota, QB, Oregon:</span></b><span style="color: orange;"> </span><br />
<br />
<i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Will the Jets draft a quarterback in the 1st Round?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">It doesn't matter how much money the Jets spend on their defense, if they can't find a franchise quarterback they'll continue to be one of the NFL's worse teams. Unfortunately, the team could be on the outside of this year's QB lottery looking in at the 6th overall pick if Marcus Mariota generates enough buzz to make him a trade target. If Mariota is available with the No. 6 pick, the Jets should run to the podium. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: orange;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>7. Chicago Bears</b> <b>– </b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><b style="color: orange;">Danny Shelton, DT, Washington</b><b style="color: orange;">:</b><span style="color: orange;"> </span><br />
<br />
<i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">How will the Bears stock their new 3-4 defense?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
The Bears could look to a wide receiver on offense to replace Brandon Marshall, but the more pressing need is on defense as they transition from a 4-3 to a 3-4 defense. Danny Shelton would be an intriguing pick at nose tackle to anchor their defense, and despite his size at 340 pounds, Shelton is extremely agile with surprising stamina.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>8. Atlanta Falcons</b> <b>– Vic Beasley, OLB, Clemson:</b> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Will the Falcons address their pass rush, or their secondary?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">If there's a team with a bigger need at pass rusher than the Falcons heading into this season, it was the Falcons heading into last season. Atlanta is still in desperate need for a playmaker who can put some much needed heat on opposing quarterbacks, and in turn, take some off of their own secondary. Vic Beasley is a bit undersized to play defensive end in a 3-4 system, but is athletic enough to play outside linebacker and then move to the edge on passing downs, much like how new coach Dan Quinn used Bruce Irvin in Seattle</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>9. New York Giants</b> <b>– </b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><b style="color: orange;">D.J. Humphries, LT, Florida</b><b style="color: orange;">:</b><br />
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<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><i>Will the Giants take an offensive lineman, or will they address their defense?</i> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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The Giants are in the market for help at left tackle, which would have a positive domino effect on the rest of their offensive line. In a weak class, D.J. Humphrhies of Florida may not only be the best, but possibly the only true left tackle prospect in this year's draft.<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><br /><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>10. St. Louis Rams </b><b>– </b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><b style="color: orange;">Brandon Scherff, OT, Iowa</b><span style="color: orange;">:</span><span style="color: orange;"> </span><br />
<br />
<i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Can the Rams afford to pass on an offensive lineman?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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The Rams have big needs at guard, center and tackle on their offensive line. With the 10th pick, Brandon Scherff of Iowa could be a plug and play starter at either tackle or guard, which would give the team some versatility as last year's top pick Greg Robinson tries to find a forever home.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>11. Minnesota Vikings</b> <b>– Trae Waynes, CB, Michigan State: </b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Should the Vikings draft another WR?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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With the Vikings allegedly resolving their issues at wide receiver with the Mike Wallace trade, the team can look to address other needs in the draft. After leading Michigan State's vaunted "No Fly Zone" secondary and proving himself as the draft's clear cut top cover corner at the Scouting Combine, if Trae Waynes falls outside of the top ten, he'd both fill a need and represent solid value for the Vikings.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><strong>12. Cleveland Browns – </strong></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><b style="color: orange;">Amari Cooper, WR, Alabama</b><b style="color: orange;">:</b><br />
<i><br /></i><i><span lang="EN">How will the Browns replace Josh Gordon?</span></i><br />
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<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Depending on how the draft shakes out, it's very possible that an elite wide receiver like Amari Cooper or Kevin White could fall to Cleveland at the No. 12 spot. I don't care how many Brian Hartlines and Dwayne Bowes the Brown's might sign, they still have a huge need for a game changer at receiver. Amari Cooper would certainly satisfy that need. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="color: orange;"><b>13. New Orleans Saints - </b></span><b style="color: orange;">Shane Ray, OLB, Missouri</b><span style="color: orange;">:</span><br />
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<i>How should the Saints improve their defense?</i><br />
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Shane Ray of Missouri is a bit undersized as pass rusher for a conventional 4-3 defensive, and is probably better suited to be a three down player in a 3-4 scheme if he can make the transition to dropping into coverage. Assuming he can do so, Ray would be an ideal fit in New Orleans, as Rob Ryan and the Saints continue to transition towards more of a hybrid defense.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><b>14. Miami Dolphins</b> <b>– </b></span></span><b style="color: orange;">DeVante Parker, WR, Louisville</b><b style="color: orange;">: </b><br />
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<i><span lang="EN">Where do the Dolphins go after overpaying for Ndamukong Suh?</span></i><br />
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Now that Miami has over paid for Ndamukong Suh, they need to see if Ryan Tannehill is capable of leading a winning team or if they need find a quarterback capable of taking them to the next level. In order to make that evaluation, the Dolphins need to give him a dependable receiver, and Devante Parker of Louisville is at least in the discussion as being the best in this year's draft class.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><strong>15. San Francisco 49ers – Arik Armstead, DE, Oregon</strong><strong>:</strong> </span></span><br />
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<i><span lang="EN">How will the 49'ers replenish their defense?</span></i><br />
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<span style="line-height: 17.1199989318848px;">The free agent signing of Darnell Dockett should replace the loss of defensive end Ray McDonald, but the retirement of Justin Smith still leaves a huge hole on the other side of the 49'ers once dominant defensive line. An athletic end like Arik Armstead of Oregon who can play the 5-technique would help San Francisco start to re-load.</span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>16. Houston Texans</b> <b>- </b></span><b style="color: orange;">Jaelen Strong, WR, Arizona State</b><strong style="color: orange;">:</strong><span style="color: orange;"> </span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>Do the Texans need another receiver?</i><br />
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<span style="line-height: 17.1199989318848px;">The Texans will need to find a replacement for Andre Johnson to play opposite DeAndre Hopkins at wide receiver. Jaelen Strong of Arizona State has the size, strength and speed that will remind many Texans fans of Johnson before he lost a step and turned into a de facto tight end. Free agent signee Cecil Shorts will be a nice addition as a compliment, but not as Johnson's replacement. </span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>17. San Diego Chargers – </b></span><b style="color: orange;">Andrus Peat, OT, Stanford</b><b style="color: orange;">:</b><br />
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<i>How long should the Chargers wait to draft a running back?</i><br />
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The Chargers could use an upgrade on both their offensive and defensive lines, as well as at running back. When your quarterback is Phillip Rivers and he finished last season injured, offensive line gets first dibs. Andrus Peat of Stanford projects as a solid, if not elite tackle at the NFL level. At the very worst case scenario he has the bulk to play on the right side, or possibly even move inside to guard. With the draft deep in running backs, the Chargers should still be able to find an elite talent in the second round.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>18. Kansas City Chiefs</b> <b>– </b></span></span></span><b style="color: orange;">Landon Collins, S, Alabama</b><b style="color: orange;">:</b><span style="color: orange;"> </span><br />
<i><br /></i><i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">Do the Chiefs need to look for a replacement for Eric Berry?</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="line-height: 17.1199989318848px;">With Eric Berry's career in question, the Chiefs need to add another presence in the back end of their defense. While Landon Collins may lack Berry's ball skills, he's a big time hitter who can help out against the run. Better yet, he'd be an ideal compliment to Berry in the event that everyone is hoping for, his health improving to the point that would allow him to return. </span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><b>19. Cleveland Browns</b> <b>– Malcom Brown, DT, Texas:</b></span></span></span><br />
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<i>What is the Browns' biggest need on defense?</i><br />
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With a strong running game in place, a run stuffing defensive lineman like Malcom Brown of Texas could help the Browns solidify their defense and play ball control football as they try to sort out the mess that their front office created at quarterback and receiver.<br />
<span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><br /><span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN"><strong>20. Philadelphia Eagles – </strong></span></span></span></span><b style="color: orange;">Dorial Green-Beckham, WR, Missouri</b><strong style="color: orange;">:</strong><br />
<i><br /></i><i><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN"><span lang="EN">What position does Philadelphia need to address first after the great roster purge of 2015?</span></span></span></i><br />
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Chip Kelly has created more holes in the Eagles roster than they can possibly address in the draft or what left remains on the free agent market. Perhaps the most glaring need is at wide receiver, where only Riley Cooper and his<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>21. Cincinnati Bengals - Eddie Goldman, DT, Florida State</b>:</span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>How can the Bengals bring their defense to the next level?</i><br />
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The Bengals would like to improve at defensive tackle, and a run stuffer like Eddie Goldman of Florida State would give the Bengals some great rotational depth along with Geno Atkins and Domata Peko. Athletic upgrades at outside linebacker and safety could also be considered, but would represent better values in the second round.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><strong>22. Pittsburgh Steelers - </strong></span><b style="color: orange;">Alvin "Bud" Dupree, OLB, Kentucky</b><b style="color: orange;">:</b><strong style="color: orange;"> </strong><span style="color: orange;"> </span><br />
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<i>What should the Steelers address first, their secondary, or their front seven?</i><br />
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Pittsburgh could use an outside linebacker now that Jason Worilds has retired. Alvin "Bud" Dupree of Kentucky fits the Steelers' mold of a 'tweener that they can make fit their system as a 3-4 pass rusher.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>23. Detroit Lions</b> - <b>Melvin Gordon, RB, Wisconsin</b>:</span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>Will the Lions address their issues at DT?</i><br />
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<span style="line-height: 17.1199989318848px;">Despite a huge need at defensive tackle even after trading for Haloti Ngata to replace Ndamukong Suh, Lions' GM Martin Mayhew will still take a best player available approach to the draft. Melvin Gordon of Wisconsin would not only give the Lions some sizzle to replace Reggie Bush, but he's strong enough between the tackles to be an every down back, allowing the fumble prone Joique Bell to become more of a role player.</span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>24. Arizona Cardinals</b> <b>- </b></span><b style="color: orange;">Todd Gurley, RB, Georgia</b><span style="color: orange;">:</span><br />
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<i>How should the Cardinals proceed after big losses in free agency?</i><br />
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Despite huge free agent losses at cornerback, defensive end, and defensive tackle, the Cardinals can probably improve their team the quickest by addressing another area, running back. By bringing in a big back like Todd Gurley of Georgia and allowing Andre Ellington to be more of a big play threat, Arizona would take some pressure off of Carson Palmer, who needs to be more of a game manager than a playmaker at quarterback.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>25. Carolina Panthers</b> <b>- </b></span><b style="color: orange;">T.J. Clemmings, OT, Pitt:</b><br />
<i><br /></i><i>What is the Panthers' biggest need, WR, DE, or OT?</i><br />
<br />
The Panthers did their best to tread water at left tackle last season after Jordan Gross retired. If Carolina can get their hands on a top tackle like T.J. Clemmings of Pittsburgh with the 25th pick, they'd be more than happy. Another threat at wide receiver should also be a consideration, but that need could be also be addressed via free agency or in the second round.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><strong>26. Baltimore Ravens - Devin Smith, WR, Ohio State</strong></span><strong style="color: orange;">:</strong><br />
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<i>Will need and Ozzie Newsome's best player available strategy meet?</i><br />
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Ozzie Newsome may need to consider his BPA philosophy after free agency and salary cap cuts ripped their receiving corps and defensive line. Fortunately, this year's draft is extremely deep at wide receiver, giving the Ravens a value pick at a position of need with deep threat Devin Smith of Ohio State.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>27. Dallas Cowboys</b> <strong>- Owamagbe Odighizuwa, DE, UCLA: </strong></span><br />
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<i>Should the Cowboys draft a DT or a DE in the first round?</i><br />
<br />
Dallas has needs across the board on defense, perhaps none more glaring than at pass rusher. Owamagbe Odighizuwa of UCLA is an elite 4-3 defensive end who could be a late riser into the first round after injuries forced him to sit out the 2013 season and kept him from getting much preseason hype.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>28. Denver Broncos</b> <b>- La'el Collins, T, LSU</b></span><span style="color: orange;">:</span><br />
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<i>How will the Broncos get Peyton Manning a final Super Bowl trophy?</i><br />
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If Peyton Manning is going to come back for one last run at a Super Bowl, the Broncos might as well go all in and make sure that he’s taken care of. Tackle La'El Collins of LSU would give Manning and the Broncos some additional security when it comes to pass protection and in the running game at right tackle, allowing Pro Bowl guard Louis Vazquez to move back inside.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>29. Indianapolis Colts - </b></span><b style="color: orange;">Ereck Flowers, OT, Miami:</b><span style="color: orange;">:</span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>Should Indianapolis address their offensive line or their defense in the first round?</i><br />
<br />
<span style="line-height: 17.1199989318848px;">The Colts have been the early winners in free agency, having addressed many of their most important needs even before the draft. That should allow them to work on upgrading their starters, and Erek Flowers of Pittsburgh would be an immediate upgrade over Gosder Cherilus at right tackle.</span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>30. Green Bay Packers</b> <b>- </b></span><strong style="color: orange;">Jordan Phillips, DT, Oklahoma</strong><span style="color: orange;">:</span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>How do the Packers improve their defense the quickest?</i><br />
<br />
<span style="line-height: 17.1199989318848px;">Green Bay will need to look hard and often at inside linebackers in the draft, but value wise, the first round isn't the time or the place. The Packers should be able to find better value with a run stuffer like Jordan Phillips of Oklahoma with the 30th pick, and then address their need at inside linebacker a bit later in the draft.</span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>31. New Orleans Saints</b>,<b> </b></span><strong style="color: orange;">Marcus Peters, CB, Washington</strong><b style="color: orange;">:</b><br />
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<i>Can the Saints afford to use a high draft pick on a receiver?</i><br />
<br />
The Saints trade of Jimmy Graham was all about freeing up salary cap space and improving their defense. An elite, albeit troubled corner like Marcus Peters of Washington would infuse some much needed talent on the outside of the Saints' secondary. <br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>32. New England Patriots - </b></span><strong style="color: orange;">Jalen Collins, CB, LSU</strong><b style="color: orange;">: </b><br />
<br />
<i>Where do the Patriots have the biggest need, cornerback, defensive tackle, or guard?</i><br />
<br />
Despite a hole at guard all last season after the Logan Mankins trade, the Patriots still managed to win the Super Bowl. Accordingly, the Patriots would be better served trying to replace Vince Wilfork or their devastating losses at cornerback in Darrelle Revis and Brandon Browner. Jalen Collins of LSU as a big and talented corner who could at least replace Browner.<br />
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-41676046574628048512015-03-13T23:09:00.001-07:002015-03-13T23:09:51.547-07:00Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - "I just saw monkey sex, start to finish!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lDK5ZaFo9XY/VO7A02vfE3I/AAAAAAAAJ90/sJ-FfTS8PAI/s1600/Survivor%2BWorlds%2BApart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lDK5ZaFo9XY/VO7A02vfE3I/AAAAAAAAJ90/sJ-FfTS8PAI/s1600/Survivor%2BWorlds%2BApart.jpg" /></a></div>
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This week began with Nina making the not so strategic play of announcing that she knew that she's the next player who was going to get voted out for the "No-Collars," and just asking everyone not to treat her like she wasn't deaf until she was sent home.<br />
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For the "White Collars," Shirin grunted at two monkeys and asked them to show her how to survive in the wild, right before they began fucking like, well, monkeys.<br />
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That caused Shirin to gush, "Big Papa, Big Momma howler monkeys just got it on...I just saw monkey sex! Start to finish!"<br />
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For the "Blue Collars," Dan jokingly called Rodney's mother a whore, which struck a nerve with him, mainly because it was true.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d6XS449J4uE/VQPH_T-egzI/AAAAAAAAKCQ/-fENPJkG5CM/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d6XS449J4uE/VQPH_T-egzI/AAAAAAAAKCQ/-fENPJkG5CM/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" height="320" width="314" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">If Rodney Lavoie, Jr.'s mother wasn't busy being a whore, she would have taught him not to be a douche bag.</span> </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Hali and Jenn decided to exclude Nina this week by going boogie boarding with driftwood. Or as Hali said, "Body boarding is so much fun. Surfing is probably like my number three passion in life."<br />
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Meanwhile, Joe, who's mother wasn't a whore and taught him sign language, comforted Nina.<br />
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Back at the "White Collars," Shirin was starting to try everyone's patience.<br />
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Or as Tyler said, "Shirin's at the point now where crazy is as crazy does, from the nudity, to the talking to the monkey in the trees, to the excessive talking around camp."<br />
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For the "Blue Collars," things weren't any better.<br />
<br />
Mike got upset with the rest of the tribe, and Rodney in particular, because nobody else would work around camp, making him the first blue collar person ever to realize why "white collar" people hate union employees so much.<br />
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Rodney took exception to Mike's accusations, not because he was working, but because comin' from Boston he don't take horderves from nobody.<br />
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"Mikes the number one target right now, so I need to go back to my three 'C's,' cool, calm and collection."<br />
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Things got even worse for the ultra religious Mike when he challenged Lindsey on how she had tended to the fire, who let her testosterone get the best of her as she lashed out at him, and who he was.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e28pQFMWCEc/VQPLYb2FIFI/AAAAAAAAKCc/hROCph0E6hc/s1600/Lindsey%2BCascaddan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e28pQFMWCEc/VQPLYb2FIFI/AAAAAAAAKCc/hROCph0E6hc/s1600/Lindsey%2BCascaddan.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">People may think that Lindsey Cascadan is an atheist, but her other Jesus is a Camaro!</span> </td></tr>
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"How the fuck do you think this fire's going right now? How do you think that got there? Magic? Your God? Did your God come down and do it with his beard?"<br />
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That left Mike all butt hurt, who forgot all about the part where Christians believe that the process of getting butt hurt is a sin in and of itself, but that's a story for another blog post.<br />
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The Immunity Challenge required the contestants to navigate a mud filled obstacle field in order to fill a barrel using only a leaky bucket, with the winners getting a tarp and luxury items for their camp, and second place getting immunity and a tarp.<br />
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For the second time in three weeks, Will was too exhausted to finish the job for the "No Collars," who had decided to exclude Nina from the challenge, not because they had to have somebody sit out, but because they just decided not to let her help.<br />
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Sure enough, the "Blue Collars" ended up winning, the "White Collars" came in second, and the "No Collars" were sent to Tribal Council.<br />
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At Tribal Council it all came down to Will and Nina, with Will throwing Nina under the bus for blaming everything bad that had happened to her in the game on her disability.<br />
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Fortunately for Will it worked, as Nina was voted out and his fat ass stayed in the game.<br />
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<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-43450265983413431042015-03-09T21:17:00.003-07:002015-03-09T21:17:42.470-07:00The Bachelor Blog - "Well, that's not ideal."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The final episode of the Bachelor began with Chris agonizing which pig to put lipstick on and bring back to his barn, Becca the virgin, or Whitney, who's not a virgin.<br />
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With the girls getting to meet Chris' family, Whitney was up first, and she completely blew them away with how "country" she was, only in Iowa that's a good thing.<br />
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The only problem was that Whitney hadn't yet blown Chris away like Becca had.<br />
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Meanwhile, Chris' family seemed concerned about Becca's inability to say that she loved Chris, or even liked him...not even "maybe."<br />
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Chris summed up the biggest decision in his life by saying, "I'm standing in the barn where I raised my first pig," which was obviously the only logical spot for him to propose to his future wife.<br />
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And in that barn, where Chris raised his first pig, he broke things off with a clearly relieved Becca, not because he wanted to, but as he finally astutely noted, "You're not, really ready."<br />
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Despite not being chosen, you could tell that Becca was relieved when she was the one who apologized to Chris as she walked through cow shit in her ballroom dress and sped off in her limo to get the fuck out of Iowa as quick as she possibly could.<br />
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After Becca left Chris' barn like a herd of corn, Whitney arrived, none the wiser.<br />
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And when Chris proposed to her Whitney gushed, "I don't want to forget this moment ever," not realizing that she won't, especially after she watches the show and sees that she was clearly Chris' second choice.<br />
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But at least for the moment Whitney was thrilled, and ended things with a very fitting, "Holy cow!"<br />
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The After the Final Rose episode began with Chris meeting with Becca, who informed the audience that she was no longer a virgin after meeting Juan Pablo at a <i>Bachelor</i> related promotional event.<br />
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When Becca admitted that she's still never been in love, Chris Harrison added fuel to the fire by asking Chris if he should have realized that she was "a lost cause from the start."<br />
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However, Chris showed his true feelings for Whitney when he began by comparing her to his sister.<br />
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After months of being sequestered, Whitney still seemed completely head over heels for Chris, which she explained by noting how she never went back and watched the show.<br />
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Of course, that lead to many antagonizing questions from Chris Rose and Jimmy Kimmel, both of whom seemed to piss Whitney off, even though she tried her best to muster a smile for the cameras despite her missing upper lip.<br />
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The all important decision on the next <i>Bachelorette</i> apparently came down to Britt and Kaitlyn, with an overwhelming majority of the audience favoring Kaitlyn, even though Chris Harrison kept telling us that the nation was "split" between the two of them.<br />
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However, there was a big surprise when Chris Harrison announced that Britt and Kaitlyn would <i>both</i> be the next <i>Bachelorette</i>,<br />
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Kaitlyn probably summed up everyone's thoughts on that announcement the best with her candid response to Chris Harrison asking her initial thoughts when she learned she'd have to share the title by saying, "Well, that's not ideal."<br />
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And on that note, I'm glad to announce that I'm retiring from blogging both the <i>Bachelor</i> and the <i>Bachelorette</i><i>.</i> Nothing personal to anyone aside from Emily Maynard, but much like the show, it's just run it's course.The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-35746320654688232982015-03-06T20:46:00.001-08:002015-03-06T20:46:42.360-08:00Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - "Unfortunately, because she's deaf, it's really hard having a conversation with her."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Second episode of <i>Survivor</i> <i>- Worlds Apart</i> began with Dan explaining exactly how shit goes down in the game...Literally.<br />
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"I'm in the water. I've got my underpants around one leg, trying to do my business, I get hit by a wave...and I lost my man-ties."<br />
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That lead to Dan wearing his shirt as his pants, because he refused to cut off his jeans and wear them as shorts, which upset all of Ohio.<br />
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Meanwhile, Max decided to salute the greats in the game by playing naked.<br />
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"I have absolutely no qualms about dropping trow and being in with birthday suit. It's free, it's comfortable...It's also a great way to get some time alone."<br />
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However, Max's plan to get some alone time with his penis backfired when Carolyn bought into his nakedness.<br />
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"Max loves this game like I love this game...which makes me love him, which makes me relate to him more. He's kind of a trend setter. It's actually super convenient to be naked a lot of the time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jelaMdPTKW8/VPqAMne-dXI/AAAAAAAAKB4/kPWJ8xLR770/s1600/IMG_0260%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jelaMdPTKW8/VPqAMne-dXI/AAAAAAAAKB4/kPWJ8xLR770/s1600/IMG_0260%5B1%5D.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">And, boom, just like that, Carolyn Rivera was naked too...Damn you Max!!!!</span></span></td></tr>
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At the "no collar" tribe, Hali "tried" to get to know Nina , but decided it was just wasn't worth it.<br />
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"Unfortunately, because she's deaf, it's really hard having a conversation with her."<br />
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She instead decided to go skinny dipping with Jenn, which left Nina feeling like an outsider, or maybe just like the kid at school who was 25 years older than everyone else.<br />
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Because let's face it, if you've ever known a girl under 25, the ability to hear what someone was saying in a conversation has almost nothing to do with whether or not they hang out together.<br />
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Sure enough, when Jenn and Hali came back Nina snarked, "It was pretty nice of you guys to ask me to go."<br />
<br />
In Hali's defense, she said she did ask Nina to come along, but she never got a response.<br />
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Worse yet for the "no collars," Fake Fabio got jealous when Joe came back with a bag of crabs for everyone to eat.<br />
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Or as Fake Fabio said, "Joe's kind of that center of attention kind of guy, and it's kind of pissing me off."<br />
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That caused Not Fabio to pull Joe aside and call him out for being so well liked and being an over achiever around camp by informing him, "It doesn't go over often very well," to which Joe replied, "Usually, it does. I feel like we're good man."<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, Not Fabio didn't agree, and like a bitch, said, "I just need you to acknowledge that you steamroll projects."<br />
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The Immunity Challenge was a swimming rope maze, culminating in a basket toss The first place prize was a massive fishing kit, with second place getting a fishing line and hooks.<br />
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Dan was eager to participate for the "blue collars" saying, "I'm going to surprise you for a fat guy," and he actually ended up winning his heat against a former pro football player and a guy who looked like Fabio.<br />
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In the end, the "white collars" finally got a win, with the "blue collars" finishing second.<br />
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At Tribal Council for the "no collars," Not Fabio described himself as the glue of the tribe while Joe and the others tried to keep a straight face.<br />
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In regards to being accused of being the weak link in the Immunity Challenge Will said, "Water's always been the black man's kryptonite."<br />
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And while I'd say "well played," I'm pretty sure that all of the challenges are going to involve water or puzzles, and we all know how black people feel about mother fucking puzzles.<br />
<br />
Joe responded to Not Fabio's jealously by saying, "We've been feeling each other out and I think he's probably going to land right where he needs to. I think tonight, the person that needs to go home will go home."<br />
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Sure enough, Not Fabio and his ego were sent packing...Unfortunately, Nina didn't hear that her closest ally got voted out.The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-54391621882188413742015-03-03T00:21:00.003-08:002015-03-03T00:30:05.731-08:00The Bachelor Blog - "Jillian has got the hairiest ass I've ever seen, and a huge dick."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This week brought us the always time consuming, <i>The Bachelor: The Women Tell All episode</i>, where Chris Soules' "field of queens" returned after several weeks of binge dieting to make up for all the weight they gained while they were on the show.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Chris Soules' "field of dream," If you build it, he will make out with it.</span></td></tr>
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The conversation began with Britt confronting Carly about why she pretended to be her friend to her face, but was such a catty bitch, having talked bad about her behind her back to both Chris and the cameras.<br />
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In her defense, Carly stood up for herself by not being able to answer Britt's question.<br />
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Talk then moved on to Jillian's dick, or as Megan said, "Jillian has got the hairiest ass I've ever seen, and a huge dick."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cjFyIPAYyKY/VPU_esDrvAI/AAAAAAAAKAU/XbpOI_nkFQU/s1600/Jillian%2BAnderson.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cjFyIPAYyKY/VPU_esDrvAI/AAAAAAAAKAU/XbpOI_nkFQU/s1600/Jillian%2BAnderson.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">If Jillian Anderson doesn't have a dick, then why did ABC keep blurring it out?</span></td></tr>
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To give her props as being a good dude, Jillian completely stood up for Britt and called Carly out, but maybe a little too a aggressively.<br />
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Or as Chris Harrison interrupted, "Jillian, Jillian, Jillian - You're a little jacked up!"<br />
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In any event, it was pretty clear that Britt still has feelings for Chris, and that Jillian had feelings for Britt.<br />
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Britt finished off on a good note, and ended up scolding Carly for interrupting her by saying, "Can I just say one thing where you don't interrupt? Because you pretty much just narrated my entire love story for the last three weeks."<br />
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Kelsey was next on the hot seat for the bizarre way she seemed to brag about being a widow, which the other girls all took offense with.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZjE-_GBIQcQ/VPU2h7r3mJI/AAAAAAAAJ_8/-EiPtFF0CBg/s1600/Kelsey%2BPoe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZjE-_GBIQcQ/VPU2h7r3mJI/AAAAAAAAJ_8/-EiPtFF0CBg/s1600/Kelsey%2BPoe.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">And while we all now know that Kelsey Poe killed her late husband Sanderson, she's still pretty stinking cute. </span></td></tr>
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Always the damsel in distress, Kelsey began by asking Chris Harrison for a tissue.<br />
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When Chris, who didn't happen to have a box of Kleenex handy, handed her the handkerchief from his suit coat, Kelsey said, "That's really sweet, are you sure, it's silk?"<br />
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And after she wiped her nose in snot Kelsey declared, "I'm going to keep it," to which a somewhat perturbed Chris agreed, "It's yours now."<br />
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Juelia, who also was widowed before coming on the show, called Kelsey the most fake person she had ever met, and she probably had a point.<br />
<br />
However, Megan probably put it best when she said that her father had similarly dropped dead of a heart attack while running, and noted that Kelsey either used her ex-husband's death to manipulate Chris, or that she was still grieving to the extent that she probably shouldn't have come on the show.<br />
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Of course, Megan was the same girl who thought that New Mexico was part of Mexico, and not the United States, so take her comments for what they are on their face, and not that she had any type of profound insight on the situation.<br />
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Ashley S. was next asked to come on stage to explain whether she's really crazy as she appeared on the show, or if she was just mixing booze and psychiatric medications against her shrink's orders.<br />
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Clearly it was the latter of the two options, but Ashley S. decided to run with the former while trying to keep a straight face, which earned her an on the spot invite to appear on <i>Bachelor in Paradise</i>.<br />
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Jade made an appearance to discuss what caused a seemingly sweet girl to pose naked for Playboy, but she wasn't yet prepared to reveal which member of her family had molested her.<br />
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Jade did reveal that she was devastated to learn that her family had thrown her under the bus for telling Chris that she was not as shy as she lead everyone to believe.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YZ-oEWZSrgE/VPU2kt3Yh4I/AAAAAAAAKAE/7JOd36jUs0A/s1600/jade.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YZ-oEWZSrgE/VPU2kt3Yh4I/AAAAAAAAKAE/7JOd36jUs0A/s1600/jade.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Clearly Jade Roper, or Jade Elizabeth, didn't share the drug problem that she was trying to hide with Chris...Well, either that or she was just trying to work her way through law school ;)</span></td></tr>
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Up last was Kaitlyn, who lost a ton of weight in her face since she left the show, clearly had Botox injections to the extent she seemed to have trouble talking (and it wasn't just her being Canadian), and still looked absolutely smoking hot in a white sausage casing type tube dress.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XNadPY9ygYU/VPVuKMylooI/AAAAAAAAKAk/YrDE9qxZNzw/s1600/IMG_0259%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XNadPY9ygYU/VPVuKMylooI/AAAAAAAAKAk/YrDE9qxZNzw/s1600/IMG_0259%5B1%5D.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;"><span style="text-align: start;">It will be no surprise when Kaitlyn Bristowe is named the next </span><i style="text-align: start;">Bachelorette</i><span style="text-align: start;">. </span></span></td></tr>
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Kaitlyn got to confront Chris about why he dumped her, but only in a classy way, you know, so America wouldn't hate her going forward.<br />
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Kaitlyn told Chris that "she had zero reason to believe" that she was going to go home, and that he "needed and wanted me to let my guard down, I was happy to do that," which was her not so secret way of her telling Whitney that she "put out" for him in the Fantasy Suite.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c5ufigthgDw/VPVvcD-AtqI/AAAAAAAAKAs/QlG9hKGUdmY/s1600/Kaitlyn%2BBristowe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: red; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c5ufigthgDw/VPVvcD-AtqI/AAAAAAAAKAs/QlG9hKGUdmY/s1600/Kaitlyn%2BBristowe.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: black; color: red;">Kaitlyn Bristowe: Now that's one Bachelorette party I want to be a part of!</span></td></tr>
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In any event, Chris will be breaking up with either Whitney or the other virgin girl, Becca, soon enough, but it was still a fun ride!The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-72712045389356635042015-03-02T14:21:00.000-08:002015-03-02T19:58:26.684-08:00Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - "I'm a fat guy, it's not going to hold."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Survivor</i> <i>- Worlds Apart</i> began with the players diving up into tribes by social class, mainly, "white collar," "blue collar," and "no collar."<br />
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Boston guy Rodney wanted to clarify that he wasn't as stupid as he looked.<br />
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"Everybody looks at me and thinks I'm a meat head, but against the competition, I'm a fillet Mignon and everyone else is just a steak."<br />
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Of course, much to Rodney's surprise, or maybe not, there are several other cuts of steak that are considered to be even better than a fillet Mignon.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-axPndGFDmh8/VPP8Qz0ItgI/AAAAAAAAJ-k/qDvpzPp1AvI/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-axPndGFDmh8/VPP8Qz0ItgI/AAAAAAAAJ-k/qDvpzPp1AvI/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">Given his view on women, Rodney Lavoie, Jr.'s not a Boston butt...He's just another ass from New England.</span></span></td></tr>
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Rodney told the rest of the blue collars that he still moves furniture and Jacuzzis for a living even though he'd moved on to much bigger an better things, the world of sales, out of fear of intimidating them with his intelligence.<br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;">Why do I think that Rodney Lavoie, Jr. is now a car salesman?</span></div>
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Each tribe was asked to select one leader, who then had to pick one person to come along with him/her for a task.<br />
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White collar leader and sleazeball Joaquin chose recent divorce So to join him. Blue collar leader Dan chose oil driller Mike to go along. Meanwhile, no collar leader and YouTube sensation Will chose rich girl Jenn to be his bitch.<br />
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Each pair was then presented with the option to take a big bag of beans back to their tribe, or a smaller bag in return for a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol, with nobody else any the wiser.<br />
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The only team to bit was the "white collars," where Joaquin talked So into screwing their tribe over in return for the clue saying, "That's a silly decision."<br />
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However, nobody at camp believed that they were being honest when they saw the size of Joaquin's bag of beans.<br />
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And while the "white collars" were busy trying to figure out the best way to fuck each other up the ass, the "blue collars" worked together and found a butt-load of crabs, made fire, and built a shelter right away.<br />
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However, not everything was perfect with the "blue collars."<br />
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Creepy Boston Guy tried to use his sister's death to bond with the the girls, then went on to say, "My strategy from day one - get the girls. Girls, they want to sit back and let a man take the leader role,"<br />
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And while the "blue collars" weren't expected to get by on their smarts, oil driller Mike decided to try and get some extra protein in his diet...by eating a scorpion.<br />
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"I knew when I came out here, that if there was an extra chance to get protein, I was going to take that chance...I'm the type of guy, if I see an opportunity in front of me, I'm gonna go grab it."<br />
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Sure enough, that caused Mike to puke, pass out, and possibly die.<br />
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After establishing that Mike's an idiot...Dan realized that he didn't fit in with the rest of the "blue collars," and took issue with their plan to build a raised shelter supported by nothing but bamboo.<br />
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"I'm a fat guy, it's not going to hold."<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Dan Foley: Fat guy in a little suit!</span></td></tr>
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At the "no collar" camp, Fabio guy tried to form an alliance with Jenn, and then immediately fell in love with her.<br />
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However, Jen was in love with Joe, and thought that <i>he</i>, and not Fabio, should be on the cover of a romance novel.<br />
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And after Jenn and Joe made fire together, Fabio guy's jealousy got the best of him and he interrogated Jenn about her feelings for Joe.<br />
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"I want to ask you a real human being question. Do you feel more of a connection with Joe? You're not attracted to him, not even a little?"<br />
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However, Jenn was smart enough to turn things back on Fabio guy, and she asked him if he was still on board with the alliance he had proposed. Sure enough, he was...Like, he really, <i>really </i>was.<br />
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"I do. I <i>really </i>want that."<br />
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Unfortunately for Jenn, Fabio guy reclaimed her by rubbing his scent all over her face.<br />
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"Vince hugged me forever after. We smell bad. We smell bad, okay. Do not get that (his armpits) all over my face."<br />
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<tr><td><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HFAFo7NSgYQ/VPQQGGfwn6I/AAAAAAAAJ_I/WfGq3Xs7B9w/s1600/Vince%2BSly%2Bhair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HFAFo7NSgYQ/VPQQGGfwn6I/AAAAAAAAJ_I/WfGq3Xs7B9w/s1600/Vince%2BSly%2Bhair.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><span style="color: orange;">Vince Sly: What girl wouldn't want this guy's swiss chard all over her face?</span></td></tr>
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At the "white collar" camp, ironically it was the kicker who first that they all needed to get down on their knees and get dirty in order to survive in the game...Or at least figure out how to make fire.<br />
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Not trusting her tribes "leaders," Carolyn noticed Joaquin and So sneak off to look for Idol. More importantly, she paid attention to where they looked, and beat them to the punch by finding it first.<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">The First Immunity Challenge consisted of an obstacle course with a puzzle at the finish, with the first two teams to complete it winning immunity and fire starting tools.</span><br />
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With the "no collars" winning and the "blue collars" coming in second, the "white collars" earned a trip to Tribal Council thanks to Shareen, who fucked up on the puzzle so bad that she had to be replaced, but by that point it was too late.<br />
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To make things worse, the "white collars" were the only tribe that hadn't been able to make fire on her own.<br />
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Before Tribal Council, Tyler tipped Carolyn off that her name had come up in discussions. That caused her to tell him that she had found an Idol, and she lobbied to vote So out.<br />
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At Tribal Council, Joaquin and So threw Tyler and Max under the bus for being in an alliance with them.<br />
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However, Carolyn was feeling so cocky that she not only didn't play her Idol, but she made up some purely ridiculous nonsense as well saying, "Oh by the way, I am just as athletic as anyone else."<br />
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While Carolyn was completely full of shit, So was still voted out, and just like that, the "white collars" voted out their most athletic player.<br />
<br />The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-23639311707738725062015-02-26T15:07:00.002-08:002015-02-26T17:39:29.022-08:00Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - Meet the Cast<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Survivor</i> <i>- Worlds Apart</i> is upon us, which means that we are looking at the most diverse cross section of attorneys, law enforcement officers, and beauty queens/models that California, New York and Florida have to offer.<br />
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Twists this season include tribes being divided between "white collar," "blue collar," and "no collar" players. Jeff Probst is also promising another "new advantage in the game," but I guess we won't know that is until the show actually airs.<br />
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Perhaps the best news of all was is there's no returning players this season, which must mean that Russell Hantz and the rest of his family are either in jail or still recovering from the start of the NASCAR season.<br />
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Actually, I'm pretty relieved that CBS did not cast another member of the Hantz klan (and when I use the term klan, I mean it literally), because we're about one or two more of them away from having enough of those little inbred rednecks to form their own damn tribe called "Oompa Loompa."<br />
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Fortunately, we're safe from having to experience that reality show...At least for now.<br />
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Now let's get to know the contestants and break down their pros and cons based upon <a href="http://www.cbs.com/shows/survivor/cast/"><span style="color: orange;">their official bios on the CBS website</span></a>. </div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b><u>THE WHITE COLLARS</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Carolyn Rivera</b></span> - A 52-year-old corporate executive from Tampa Bay.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Carolyn Rivera: There's a certain age where you just need to stop wearing a spray tan.</span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pros</b></i>: She's in relatively good shape, at least for her age.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: She's old, she's a type-A personality, and she's originally from Queens...She won't last long.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Joaquin Souberbielle</b></span> - A 27-year-old marketing director from New York.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IGFudeCu98Q/VO6ihBkecWI/AAAAAAAAJ64/F8zoutJHWss/s1600/Joaquin%2BSouberbielle%2Bplaya.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IGFudeCu98Q/VO6ihBkecWI/AAAAAAAAJ64/F8zoutJHWss/s1600/Joaquin%2BSouberbielle%2Bplaya.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Joaquin Souberbielle: There's no sex in the champagne room...Or the tribe's shelter.</span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pros</b></i>: Joaquin announced in his bio that he's "Taking his talents to <i>Survivor</i>," which obviously worked out well for LeBron James.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: He's a white guy with an Asian tattoo on his side, which is the barbed wire/Native American armband of the new millennium.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Max Dawson</b></span> - A 37-year-old media consultant from California.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GNO2RHnlikw/VO67JKUv1WI/AAAAAAAAJ9c/I-5qudD6hrE/s1600/Max%2BDawson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GNO2RHnlikw/VO67JKUv1WI/AAAAAAAAJ9c/I-5qudD6hrE/s1600/Max%2BDawson.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Max Dawson - The "Ph.D. stands for Douchebag of Philosophy.</span></td></tr>
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>:<b> </b>He once taught a class on Survivor at Northwestern University, so he obviously knows the game.</div>
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: He insists on putting the title "Ph.D. after his name, which pretty much tells you all you need to know about him.</div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Shirin Oskooi</b></span> - A 31-year-old Yahoo! executive from San Francisco<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qEI8imX5mP8/VO6j-Z2GLvI/AAAAAAAAJ7E/EamT6ojwHDI/s1600/Shirin%2BOskooi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qEI8imX5mP8/VO6j-Z2GLvI/AAAAAAAAJ7E/EamT6ojwHDI/s1600/Shirin%2BOskooi.jpg" height="238" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Shirin Oskooi: This is what happens when society enacts "anti-bullying" laws. </span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pros</b></i><b style="font-style: italic;">: </b>Her claim to fame is helping make the Yahoo! Calendar the No. 1 online calendar.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: This is <i>Survivor</i>, not a make believe world like it is working at Yahoo! or Google.<br />
<span style="color: orange; text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: orange; text-align: center;"><b>So Kim</b></span><span style="text-align: center;"> - A 31-year-old retail buyer from Long Beach, CA.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gSte7-MgD_M/VO6kteR-dkI/AAAAAAAAJ7M/e2bPL9Xo0W0/s1600/So%2BKim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gSte7-MgD_M/VO6kteR-dkI/AAAAAAAAJ7M/e2bPL9Xo0W0/s1600/So%2BKim.jpg" height="317" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">So Kim recently divorced her husband and went on Survivor.</span></td></tr>
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: So just got divorced last year, so she's clearly has something to prove to her ex by going on the show.<br />
<i><b><br /></b></i><b><i>Cons</i></b>: So is the most likely candidate to screw up her game by hooking up on the show.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Tyler Fredrickson</b></span> - A 33-year-old ex-talent agent assistant from Los Angeles.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zkzao6CIli0/VO6my_ilwVI/AAAAAAAAJ7Y/dM-p_KUQkrY/s1600/Tyler%2BFredrickson%2Bkicker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zkzao6CIli0/VO6my_ilwVI/AAAAAAAAJ7Y/dM-p_KUQkrY/s1600/Tyler%2BFredrickson%2Bkicker.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Tyler Fredrickson: Everyone knows that Bill Parcells just loved kickers!</span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pros</b></i>: Tyler once kicked the game winning field goal for Cal against then No. 3 USC on national TV.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: He's tried out seven different professional football teams, but never made it in the NFL.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b><u>THE BLUE COLLARS</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Dan Foley</b> </span>- A 47-year-old postal worker from Maine.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ASMVEx7sRQY/VO6oJkNQFRI/AAAAAAAAJ7g/FUcBukfXrGI/s1600/Dan%2BFoley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ASMVEx7sRQY/VO6oJkNQFRI/AAAAAAAAJ7g/FUcBukfXrGI/s1600/Dan%2BFoley.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Dan "Danimal" Foley: If you wear jean shorts, I get the feeling that you might be a little bit overwhelmed by this whole "<i>Survivor</i>" thing.</span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pros</b></i>: He claims to be good with people because he's a landlord.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: Almost everyone hates their landlord.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Kelly Remington </b></span>- A 44-year-old state trooper from New York.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UCBA8_mkrXk/VO6pI1fQXqI/AAAAAAAAJ7o/rfIw2hKDr2Q/s1600/Kelly%2BRemington.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UCBA8_mkrXk/VO6pI1fQXqI/AAAAAAAAJ7o/rfIw2hKDr2Q/s1600/Kelly%2BRemington.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Much like those worthless instructions on shampoo bottles, Kelly Remington can forget the repeat part.</span></td></tr>
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: Kelly bragged about getting to use pepper spray, handcuffs, a night stick and a taser on people in her bio.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: Survivor isn't Ferguson, Missouri.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Lindsey Cascaddan</b></span> - A 24-year-old hairdresser from Florida.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KH6uG1usdAk/VO6rCQi0kJI/AAAAAAAAJ70/96srkEPMdsA/s1600/Lindsey%2BCascaddan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KH6uG1usdAk/VO6rCQi0kJI/AAAAAAAAJ70/96srkEPMdsA/s1600/Lindsey%2BCascaddan.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: magenta;">Lindsey Cascaddan: I hate hairdressers, and I hate fitness girls, but something about this girl still intrigues me. </span></td></tr>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">Pros: </i>Lindsey previously won a fitness competition.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: Lindsey is a hairdresser, which really means that she's just a cool name away from being a stripper.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Mike Holloway</b></span> - A 38-year old oil-driller from Texas.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F0U_nvcJFqc/VO6tgoT7poI/AAAAAAAAJ8A/rQknIGOXYSk/s1600/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bwork.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F0U_nvcJFqc/VO6tgoT7poI/AAAAAAAAJ8A/rQknIGOXYSk/s1600/Mike%2BHolloway%2Bwork.jpg" height="320" width="251" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Mike Holloway: </span></td></tr>
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<b style="font-style: italic;">Pros: </b>Overcame being molested, bullied and not having a father as a child.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: He doesn't realize that he's gay yet.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Rodney Lavoie, Jr.</b></span> - A 24-year-old general contractor from Boston.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2VnVfznV-9A/VO66qOVlP1I/AAAAAAAAJ9U/S_1xCik3wSc/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: red;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2VnVfznV-9A/VO66qOVlP1I/AAAAAAAAJ9U/S_1xCik3wSc/s1600/Rodney%2BLavoie%2C%2BJr..png" height="320" width="315" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">Rodney Lavoie, Jr. has the size and strength to be in a boy band. </span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pro</b>s</i>:<i> </i>Claims that he was the captain of the all-Boston football and basketball teams back in high school. </div>
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: Every white guy from Boston brags about how athletic he is until ultimately being exposed as a fraud.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Sierra Dawn Thomas </b></span>- A 27-year-old barrel racer from Utah.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_C1nGtHUoTI/VO6ugH6lDlI/AAAAAAAAJ8I/8WMc-hzz83A/s1600/Sierra%2BDawn%2BThomas%2BNot%2Ba%2Bcowgirl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_C1nGtHUoTI/VO6ugH6lDlI/AAAAAAAAJ8I/8WMc-hzz83A/s1600/Sierra%2BDawn%2BThomas%2BNot%2Ba%2Bcowgirl.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Sierra Dawn Thomas: Apparently barrel riding is more exciting that I thought it was!</span></td></tr>
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: If there are any horses in the challenges, Sierra's going to own this season.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: At 27-years old and still in college, Sierra must have failed her Mormon mission.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;"><u>THE NO COLLARS</u></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Hali Ford</b></span> - A 25-year-old law student from San Francisco.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dWXObMdIUJE/VO61pWgznAI/AAAAAAAAJ80/bPGZi-E8KcQ/s1600/Hali%2BFord.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dWXObMdIUJE/VO61pWgznAI/AAAAAAAAJ80/bPGZi-E8KcQ/s1600/Hali%2BFord.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Hali Ford is "law school" hot. </span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pros</b></i>: Hali likes motorcycles and whatever comes her way, kind of like Steppenwolf.<br />
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<i><b>Cons</b></i>: I'm not quite sure how being a law student translates to being a "no-collar."<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Jenn Brown</b></span> - A 22-year-old sailing instructor from Long Beach, CA. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WoP-u38NmfE/VO66Awp_qmI/AAAAAAAAJ9I/1NySopgtrSY/s1600/Jenn%2BBrown%2BFat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WoP-u38NmfE/VO66Awp_qmI/AAAAAAAAJ9I/1NySopgtrSY/s1600/Jenn%2BBrown%2BFat.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Jenn Brown: Apparently being born rich makes you a "no collar." </span></td></tr>
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<span id="goog_1548334428"></span><span id="goog_1548334429"></span><br />
<i><b>Pros</b></i>: Jenn is a self proclaimed <i>Survivor</i> historian who sailed around the world on a whim.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: You don't just sail around the world "on a whim" without a whole bunch of daddy's money.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>Joe Anglim </b></span>- A 25-year-old jewelry designer from Scottsdale, AZ<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WAvWEKkXA4Q/VO65G81JQnI/AAAAAAAAJ9A/fw5jNuY8KBE/s1600/Joe%2BAnglim.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WAvWEKkXA4Q/VO65G81JQnI/AAAAAAAAJ9A/fw5jNuY8KBE/s1600/Joe%2BAnglim.png" height="320" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Joe Anglim is from Scottsdale, the douchebag capital of the west coast. </span></td></tr>
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<i><b>Pros</b></i>: Joe claims that he won a high school state championship in basketball, then went on to become a college indoor volleyball player.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: Wallyball is not a real sport, unless you're a girl.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">Nina Poersch</span> </b>- A 51-year-old hearing advocate from California. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jeDKqbwYYow/VO7NPhTJl_I/AAAAAAAAJ-E/S0YuC_tsrvs/s1600/Nina%2BPoersch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jeDKqbwYYow/VO7NPhTJl_I/AAAAAAAAJ-E/S0YuC_tsrvs/s1600/Nina%2BPoersch.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Nina Poersch: Being deaf doesn't explain why she ended up with this guy.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: She overcame being deaf<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i></b>: She won't be able to hear if people are plotting against her.<br />
<span style="color: orange;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: orange;"><b>Vince Sly</b></span> - A 32-year-old coconut vendor from California.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DjOd8Wh99a4/VO6xjk5B1SI/AAAAAAAAJ8c/muVaKUDRNGI/s1600/Vince%2BSly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DjOd8Wh99a4/VO6xjk5B1SI/AAAAAAAAJ8c/muVaKUDRNGI/s1600/Vince%2BSly.jpg" height="317" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;">No matter how much you loved your girlfriend, if you found out that she dated someone like Vince Sly you'd have to immediately break up with her because it shows an inherently fatal character flaw.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><i>Pros</i>:</b> He's managed to travel to 32 different countries, which is surprising considering I doubt he can afford a passport.<br />
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<b><i>Cons</i>:</b> If you're 32 and you're slinging coconuts for a living, you might might have a heroin problem. He also acknowledges and seems to take pride in the fact that he looks like Fabio.<br />
<b style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Will Sims II</span></b><span style="text-align: center;"> - A 41-year-old YouTube sensation from California. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VvVOMEBU9uU/VO6yixnXHiI/AAAAAAAAJ8o/pTMD6mBtgfs/s1600/Will%2BSims%2BII.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VvVOMEBU9uU/VO6yixnXHiI/AAAAAAAAJ8o/pTMD6mBtgfs/s1600/Will%2BSims%2BII.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Will Sims II became a YouTube sensation for being one of five black people to ever attend a pro hockey game. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><i>Pros</i></b>: If Will likes hockey, maybe he can swim.<br />
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<b><i>Cons:</i></b> This guy is clearly going on the show to try and promote himself. </div>
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The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-3002477352387628352015-02-24T22:21:00.000-08:002023-10-15T18:41:43.373-07:00The Bachelor Blog: "Oh shoot!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Fantasy Suite date week began with Chris and the remaining girls flying Iowa to Bali, and my guess is it wasn't a direct flight.<br />
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First up was Kaitlyn, who saw get Chris get raped and then peed on by a monkey.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VCsmripw1p8/VOwYMIiiZLI/AAAAAAAAJ6E/H4eXhwc4yHs/s1600/IMG_0249%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VCsmripw1p8/VOwYMIiiZLI/AAAAAAAAJ6E/H4eXhwc4yHs/s1600/IMG_0249%5B1%5D.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-small;"><br />Is that pee or pit stains? When Kaitlyn told Chris that the monkey had peed on him, he wisely stuck with her account. </span></td></tr>
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<span style="text-align: left;">After forgetting to ask Kaitlyn how she'd possibly tolerate living in Iowa, Chris got down to business and invited her to the Fantasy Suite by noting, "I am extremely excited for this night not to end." </span></div>
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First up for Kaitlyn's sloppy seconds was Whitney, whom Chris to sailing just like they would if they were married, only back in Iowa it would be in a customized John Deere tractor on a sea of corn instead of luxury yacht and the Indian Ocean.<br />
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That date also allowed Chris to take his shirt off and show Whitney how fat he had gotten, just to see if she was just in it for his body instead of his money.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M1_GtPkv7io/VOwH09EJHcI/AAAAAAAAJ5Y/imAA74b8k3U/s1600/Chris%2BSoules%2BDouchey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M1_GtPkv7io/VOwH09EJHcI/AAAAAAAAJ5Y/imAA74b8k3U/s1600/Chris%2BSoules%2BDouchey.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">The Chris Soules we see shirtless in this photo is not the Chris Soules we're seeing shirtless towards the end of this season on <i>The Bachelor</i>.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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While Chris had his concerns about whether Whitney would be willing to give up her cushy job collecting sperm at a fertility clinic in Chicago in order to move to Iowa with him, she addressed them by saying that she was all but ready to quit her job and start having babies.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lDlSRUXOmGg/VOwMj-9DIII/AAAAAAAAJ50/ddV2p1cutoY/s1600/Children%2BOf%2BThe%2BCorn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lDlSRUXOmGg/VOwMj-9DIII/AAAAAAAAJ50/ddV2p1cutoY/s1600/Children%2BOf%2BThe%2BCorn.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: orange;">Then again, maybe that isn't the best idea.</span></td></tr>
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That caused Chris to offer Whitney the opportunity to spend the night with him, which she gladly accepted with open legs.<br />
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Last up was Becca, who Chris took Becca on a date to see a local village's medium, who when asked what they could do to make their date perfect suggested, "making love," to which Chris excitedly replied, "I like this guy."<br />
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However, the medium turned out to be a fraud, as Becca was yet to tell Chris that she was still a virgin and saving herself for marriage, which meant that Chris only got a blowjob when she spent the night in the Fantasy Suite with him.<br />
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After the three Fantasy Suite dates, Chris seemed confused about who to send home saying, "The only difference between these three girls is that Whitney and Kaitlyn have both had sex with me," which seemingly served to answer his own question.<br />
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When Chris pulled Becca away to speak with her before handing out roses to the two finalists, Kaitlyn and Whitney started to get just a little too excited that they were moving on.<br />
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Or as Kaityln gushed, "If Chris is saying goodbye to Becca right now, it gives me a great deal of excitement to think about that next step for us...I feel good, I feel happy.<br />
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But when Chris came back with Becca hand in hand, all Kaitlyn could say was, "Oh Shoot."<br />
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Sure enough, Kaitlyn was the one who was sent home.<br />
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And while Kaitlyn didn't seem to understand how she could be going home after she slept with him just days earlier, Chris simply explained to her that he considered it to be her parting gift.<br />
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Kaitlyn was clearly devastated, saying, "I don't want to do this right now, I don't want to get in," as she stood in front of her taxi while sobbing on Chris' shoulder, which caused him to promptly open the door for her...like any true gentleman.<br />
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Not realizing that there's a 99% chance that she'll be named the next <i>Bachelorette </i>with her good looks and witty personality<i>,</i> Kaitlyn felt shame saying, "It's the most humiliating moment of my whole fucking life"The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5927279725204745907.post-88689638445949941362015-02-22T18:09:00.003-08:002016-02-20T22:28:02.186-08:002015 Oscar Predictions From a Guy Who Doesn't Watch Movies<span style="background-color: yellow;"></span><br />
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<img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445630229997023042" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi_vKsTv3tafs_bzMQ0sWxADWdLp5K2fxK6HdD5xTFdBIipwWRJYXW0wYwY_a1Qr3310sMR5dvAGOisLJk6iK5lm93HyrEGB7mXO_NNNsWDwxYGmRTJT3LSMxbxiMA6XEomKQmVRNUp1Iz/s200/oscars2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 112px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 150px;" /><br />
Before I get started on my <a href="http://theredmieni.blogspot.com/#uds-search-results"><span style="color: orange;">Eighth annual attempt at predicting the Oscar winners</span></a>, let's start with some background information.<br />
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As I state each year, I don't watch, rent or download movies anymore.<br />
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I pretty much stopped watching them when Hollywood studios began trying to out “special effect” each other in order to overcompensate for bad writing and a lack of original ideas, or as I call it, "the George Lucas syndrome." <br />
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My formula for predicting the Academy Award winners despite not ever watching any movies is simple. I use a combination of word of mouth, movie trailers, movie posters, and my own personal analysis of how Hollywood works. <br />
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So without further ado, let's pay homage to the Academy's yearly event to honor Hollywood's finest child molesters like Roman Polanski, Woody Allen and John Goodman, and try to predict the 2015 Oscar winners.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Best Supporting Actor:</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>5. Edward Norton </b></span>- <i><b>Birdman</b></i>: Edward Norton could honestly give the best acting performance in the history of all time, but nothing will ever make me un-see the the horrible fake dunk scene he filmed in <i>American History X</i>.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>4. </b></span><b><span style="color: orange;">Robert Duvall</span> - <i>The Judge</i></b>: Considering his performance in this movie, it should have been called <i>The Mailman</i>, because Duvall simply mailed this one in.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>3. Mark Ruffalo</b></span> - <b><i>Foxcatcher</i></b>: Mark Ruffalo's Twitter profile reads, "I'm a husband, father, actor, director, and climate change advocate." And considering that he's an advocate for changing the climate, I don't think that his conservative political beliefs will endear him to the liberal leaning Oscars panel.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">2. </span></b><span style="color: orange;"><b>J.K. Simmons</b></span> - <b><i>Whiplash</i></b>: If there was a lifetime achievement award for supporting actors, J.K. Simmons would have already own it.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">1. </span></b><b><span style="color: orange;">Ethan Hawke</span> - <i>Boyhood</i></b>: Shot over the course of 12-years, Ethan Hawke was originally cast for his role in <i>Boyhood</i> when he was still considered a popular actor.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Best Supporting Actress:</b></span></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">5. Laura Dern </span></b><b>- <i>Wild</i></b>: Laura Dern has made a career off of looking like Meryl Streep, so call it karma if you will, but I think it's fitting that she'll be going up against Streep now that she's been nominated for the Best Supporting Actress Oscar.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">4. </span></b><b><span style="color: orange;">Emma Stone </span>- <i>Birdman</i></b>: Go figure, Melanie Griffith's daughter grows up to make porn, and Sharon Stone's daughter grows up to make mainstream movies.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">3. Keira Knightley </span>- <i>The Imitation Game</i></b>: Not to give the ending away, but at the end of the movie Keira Knightley turns out to be a dude.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">2. </span></b><b><span style="color: orange;">Patricia Arquette</span> - </b><b><i>Boyhood</i></b>: Patricia Arquette is hoping to become the first transgendered actor to win an Oscar.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">1. Meryl Streep</span> - <i>Into the Woods</i></b>: Meryl Streep reprises her role as a privileged Emory University student who ventures off into the wilderness of Alaska in the sequel to <i>Into the Wild</i>. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Best Actor</b>:</span> </span><br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">5. </span></b><span style="color: orange;"><b>Bradley Cooper </b></span>- <b><i>American Sniper</i></b>: With all of his Oscar nominations in recent years, you'd think that Bradley Cooper was a good actor...However, you'd be wrong.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">4. Eddie Redmayne</span> - <i>American Hustle:</i></b> It's not really acting when you just sit in a chair sipping on a straw while letting a computer read your lines...It's still better than anything that Bradley Cooper has ever done, but it's still not acting.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">3. Steve Carrell</span></b><b><span style="color: orange;"><b> - </b></span><i>Foxcatcher</i></b>: From everything I've heard, Steve Carrell was absolutely hilarious in this movie.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">2. Benedict Cumberbatch - </span></b><b><i>The Imitation Game</i></b>: Move over Leo, now there's something meatier. Benedict Cumberbatch and his legions of "Cumber-bitches" have taken over for Leonardo Dicaprio as America's sexiest actor never to have won an Oscar. Personally, I like the term "Cumber-bunnies" better.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">1. Michael Keaton</span> - <i>Birdman:</i></b> From what I've heard, Michael Keaton was brilliant in his portrayal of a an ex super hero actor who is not aging well in <i>Birdman</i>, which is loosely based on Val Kilmer's life.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: orange;"><b>Best Actress</b>:</span> </span><br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">5. Marion Cotillard</span> - <i>Two Days, One Night</i>:</b> The big screen adaption of <i>Two Girls, One Cup,</i> which while hugely popular, is not quite what comes to mind when I think of Oscar worthy material.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">4. Reese Witherspoon</span> - <i>Wild</i>:</b> Reese Witherspoon recently revealed that she thought she was too fat and too ugly for Hollywood. As it turns out, she was right.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">3. Rosamund Pike</span></b> <i><b>- Gone Girl</b></i>: Honestly, Rosamund Pike wasn't bad in <i>Gone Girl,</i> but she was still better in the book.<br />
<b><br /></b><b><span style="color: orange;">2. Julianne Moore</span> - <i>Still Alice</i>: </b>As a red-head, The Red Mieni truly appreciates a fake red-head like Julianne Moore writing children's books like Freckleface Strawberry to help us better adjust to a world run by blonds and brunettes. And by saying that I appreciate her, I mean that she's a pretentious bitch.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">1. Felicity Jones </span></b><b><i>- The Theory of Everything</i></b>: Talk about having to carry a role, Felicity Jones was almost literally forced to carry an invalid in <i>The Theory of Everything</i>...The only thing that might have been tougher would have been playing a leading woman opposite Bradley Cooper.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: orange;">Best Director:</span></b></span><br />
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This category would have been so much funnier to predict if only Woody Allen had been nominated. <br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;"><b>Best Picture: </b></span><br />
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<span style="color: orange; font-weight: bold;">8. <i>American Sniper</i></span><b>: </b>Seth Rogan is entitled to his opinion (Michael Moore isn't, because he's proven himself to be an idiot), but I'm pretty sure that our military snipers just aren't out there shooting random people. In fact, they're out there doing some pretty bad ass things (see the the shot on the Somali pirate while at sea by our Navy Seal sniper). Just don't ever make me watch another Bradley Cooper movie again and we'll call it even.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>7</b></span><b><span style="color: orange;">. <i>Whiplash</i></span>:</b> Like <i>Star Wars</i>, 50 Shades of Grey has apparently released it's series out of sequence.<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><b>6.</b> </span><span style="color: orange; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Boyhood</span><b style="font-style: italic;">: </b>Shot over the course of 12 years, not since <i>The Lego Movie</i> has a film taken longer to produce. Unfortunately, <i>Boyhood</i> was no <i>Lego Movie</i>.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">5. <i>Birdman</i></span>:</b> The Marvel superhero franchise is starting to slip a little. Even worse, <i>Aquaman</i> is scheduled to come out next year.<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">4. <i>The Theory of Everything</i></span>:</b> So Steven Hawking can play himself on <i>The Big Bang Theory</i>, but not in a movie about his life?<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">3. </span></b><b><i><span style="color: orange;">The Grand Budapest Hotel</span></i></b>: The inspirational story written by Stefan Zweig and Wes Anderson about white people living in Budapest...Think about it.<br />
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<b><i><span style="color: orange;">2. </span></i></b><b><span style="color: orange;"><i>The Imitation Game</i></span>:</b> Hollywood and the Oscars love straight guys who play gay characters, and had Morten Tyldum casted a straight guy instead Benedict Cumberbatch, <i>The Imitation Game</i> might have won more honors at the Oscars!<br />
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<b><span style="color: orange;">1. <i>Selma</i></span></b>: At long last, Tyler Perry gets the recognition that he deserves!The Red Mienihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04672422579178449737noreply@blogger.com0