Monday, February 27, 2012

The Bachelor Blog - "I'm a little nervous about giving her this card tonight...I hope she's ready for it!"

With The Bachelor down to just three contestants, the show is obviously having a tough time filling their two-hour weekly time slot. The first 10-minutes of this week's episode was just a recap, and we were also subjected to a segment of upcoming Bachelorette Emily Maynard getting ready for her season by trying on dresses.

By this point we already know that Courtney's a bitch, that Nicki's gained a bunch of weight, and that Emily's going to say that she wants to protect her daughter while pimping her out on camera more than any of the kids on Toddlers and Tiaras. I'm not exactly sure what Lindzi's deal is yet, but I'm pretty sure that all of those horses are masking some sort of dark family secret.

Nicki Sterling...Before she was introduced The Bachelor's nightly buffet and open bar.
We joined up with Ben and Nicki in Switzerland. Apparently the Producers gave up even trying to arrange exotic dates this season, as they broke out yet another helicopter ride culminating in a picnic on top of a Swiss mountain. I'm not saying that helicopter rides aren't cool or anything, but when it comes to The Bachelor helicopter is the new limo. In fact, I hear that's how the girls will be dropped off at the mansion next season.

Having the opportunity to ask Nicki to spend the night alone with him in the Fantasy Suite, Ben appeared a little overly eager to take out some sexual frustration after dating 20 plus women with little or no alone time. "I'm a little nervous about giving her this card tonight...I hope she's ready for it!" Not wanting to have "anything unanswered," Nicki gladly accepted his penis...I mean the card inviting her to spend the night.

Next up was Lindzi, who Ben took to repel down the side of a cliff before he was presented with the opportunity to ask her to the Fantasy Suite. Clearly trying to justify spending the night with his second girl in two dates, Ben said all the things necessary on camera to make him sound less sleazy like, "I really love this woman," and "I'm thinking I love Lindzi, She's everything I could want in a relationship." Of course, Lindzi accepted Ben's request to spend the night with him in the Fantasy Suite.

Personally, in to avoid boring comments like these I think the show needs to add an entourage of male friends who the Bachelor has to knock down beers with before and after his dates so we can get his true and unfiltered thoughts. We'd be much more likely to get entertaining comments like, "There was no way I was going to choose Nicki over Courtney or Lindzi, but I kind of wanted to sleep with her before I sent her home."

On Courtney's date, Ben confronted her about her behavior around the other girls. This seemed to serve as a wake-up call to Courtney who said, "There's a dark cloud over me. It's like a fear of losing him." While it was probably more a fear of losing in general as opposed to "losing him," she quickly began saying all the right things just to appease Ben.

After saying that she was disappointed in how she acted around the other women and acknowledging that she could have handled things better, Ben said that her apology had eased his doubts. And if there was any doubt, Courtney also accepted Ben's invitation to join him in the Fantasy Suite. Hopefully she didn't find Lindzi or Nicki's underwear stuck in the fireplace rug...or if you're one of the people who hate Courtney, then hopefully she did.

Just when Ben seemed to be comfortable again with Courtney's intentions, Kacie B. returned from Redemption Island and unexpectedly knocked on Ben's hotel room door. She told him that she needed an explanation as to why she did not receive a Rose after her hometown date.

Ben uncomfortably explained to her how they came from two different families, obviously referring to how he felt cock-blocked by her ultra religious parents, who had informed him that they frowned upon drinking, unmarried cohabitation and using medication to treat depression.

Before leaving, Kacie B. warned Ben that she's worried that he'll ultimately get his heart broken if he chooses Courtney since she only came on the show to win. As Kacie B. tried to hug him goodbye, a clearly uncomfortable Ben could only respond, "I don't even know what to say." He then went back inside his room as Kacie B. fell to the floor and wound up just laying in the hallway...So all in all, her decision to return went really well.

We next saw a discombobulated Ben mumbling to himself as Chris Harrison came in and smugly asked, "What's going on?" Keep in mind that they had to get Kacie B. to Switzerland, so it's not like the Producers played a passive role in Kacie B.'s arrival. In fact, it almost seemed like Chris was playing a little practical joke in sending the woman with the most recent case of "Post Bachelor Stress Disorder" back into Ben's room.

When Chris asked Ben if he wanted to have Kacie B. join the other women at the Rose Ceremony, Ben quickly replied, "I think that's too much," and then making up an excuse on how it would be unfair to the other girls who had all gone on to experience a new round of dates with him in Switzerland.

At the Final Rose Ceremony of the season, Ben purported to wrestle with his decision to keep Courtney. Of course, to no one's surprise he ended up eliminating Nicki, meaning Courtney and Lindzi made it to the Final Rose.

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