Sunday, August 3, 2014

Blogging Big Brother 16 - "The back door's the only door!"

After a rough week as HOH where his alliance refused to go along with his plan to backdoor Zach, Devin decided that his best move would be to pout and rat out his once secret eight person "Bomb Squad" alliance to the rest of the house.

Knowing that he had become a target, Devin renounced his membership in the "Bomb Squad" but volunteered to be nominated for eviction as a sign of "goodwill."

Of course, being nominated would have given Devin two chances to take himself off the block through the BOB and POV Competitions, but the rest of the Bomb Squad saw right through his not so clever ploy. 

After Devin's defection, Christine also privately declared that she was done with Bomb Squad, telling her best friend Nicole about her affiliation with the alliance.

Strangely, Nicole's response didn't have anything to do with her best friend in the house having been in a secret alliance without having mentioned it to her.

Instead, Nicole responded by saying, "Bomb Squad? That's a stupid name." Well, okay then.

Derrick wisely used Caleb's feelings for Amber to convince him to volunteer himself as nominee, so he could show her how much he cared for her by throwing the BOB and keeping her safe.

Of course, Amber is black, and Caleb was busted having referred to President Obama as a "monkey" on his Twitter account, so that probably was not the best use of chivalrous act that Caleb could come up with.

Even Caleb seemed to know deep down inside that his efforts were misguided.

"This is crazy. My sister's probably like sitting at home wondering why, 'Seriously, why Amber?'"

But he still couldn't seem to get over himself saying, "At the same time she's probably thinking, 'Dude, if he does that, she needs to marry that guy.'"

I know it's a new thing, but someone might want to break it to Caleb Reynolds that outside of the south, African American women actually get a say in who they mate with.

When Donny told Amber about Caleb's plan to throw the competition, that made Caleb, Nicole and Derrick think that Donny was the one who needed to go home, making him a target as their potential fourth nominee.

Sure enough, Nicole nominated Amber and Donny, while Derrick nominated Jocasta and Caleb.

Upon realizing his potential fate, or maybe just declaring a personal sexual preference, Devin blurted out, "The back door's the only door!"

After reflecting on things, Nicole had reservations about nominating Donny, and even cried when she tried to apologize to him.

True to his good guy form, Donny started crying too, and actually ended up consoling Nicole over her decision to to nominate him.

In the super lame "Team America" twist, the secret, but contrived alliance, was asked to convince the house that one of their fellow players was a relative of former player.

Given Zach's strong Adam's apple and the fact that he was from South Florida, Team America decided to try and convince the house that he was cousins with last year's 3rd most racist cast mate, Amanda Zuckerman.

Strangely, Zach fully embraced that rumor, even though it wasn't true, was it?

The BOB Competition was a Harry Potter inspired contest, where the two teams of nominees had to run across the yard to gather puzzle pieces and then hand them to their teammate as they lifted him/her by wire up to a board to try and solve it.

Donny seemingly had an advantage, proclaiming that while he liked puzzles, they were usually "Puzzles that are in the newspaper or the back of a cereal box."

Of course, Donny intentionally forgot to mention the part where he was really good at solving the really tough puzzles on the back of the menus at his local Applebees.

Frankie then declared, "I took a lot of classes on wand," although that comment had nothing to do with the BOB Competition, or Harry Potter. 

With Caleb holding true to his word to throw the competition for Amber, Donny and Amber ultimately ended up winning and were able to remove themselves from the block.

Still in their competition wardrobes, Hayden told Nicole. "Normally the princess has to kiss the frog, but with you rocking that thing (a frog suit), the prince might have to make the move."

That caused all of the girls to collectively go, "Awwww!"

That is, all of them except for Nicole, who still seemed to be functioning on a middle school social and intellectual level.

Cody, not Caleb, ended up giving Amber a massage, which didn't go over well at all with overly jealous and possessive Beast Mode Cowboy.

Or as Cody said, "I feel like I get death stares from Caleb for talking to you," to which Amber replied, "It's driving me crazy, because I don't like Caleb like that."

Sure enough, Caleb was listening to that conversation and came storming out of his bedroom. When Cody said, "You pass out?" Caleb just said, "No," and kept on walking...Awkward!

That seemed to drive a rift between Cody and Caleb.

Or as Cody said, "There's Caleb pissed off, looking like he heard our entire conversation...All I'm thinking here is that we definitely might have a big problem."

Sure enough, Caleb confirmed that his feelings were starting to get in the way of his game play.

"My buddy Cody, you know, a member of my alliance, is trying to, you know, put his hands on old girl. Check this out home-skillet, if you try to move in on my queen, the king, beast mode cowboy, is going to have to step up!"

However, knowing that Caleb was going to go after him, Cody approached Caleb and told him, "You're a good looking guy, I'm a good looking guy," which lead to the two of them wrapping their arms around each other and tongue kissing. #ProblemSolved.

The POV Competition was a casino style event, where the players squared off two at a time inside giant inflatable dice, and had to walk them on to a platform the fastest to land a specific number. 

After several wins by Devin, he was defeated by Donny. That Devin caused Devin to say, "I still don't think you are who you say you are."
And while that was false, Frankie still, while Donny seemed dumbfounded that he won.

"I'm not good with patterns, numbers, none of that. My mom always says, son, you might not be the brightest crayon in the box, but at least you're in the box."

Not a part of what was the main alliance, Donny used the POV on Jocasta, who sat out sick. "A friend in need is a friend indeed."

Of course, when Jocasta woke up and found out she broke down crying and wailed. "I'm so used to giving, but now I get to receive," which I guess makes Donny an unselfish lover.

According to plan, Derrick's replacement nominee was Devin.

Still dumb to the fact that black girls don't like racist white guys, Caleb gave Amber his covers in the "Have-Not" ice room saying, "I think in the end of the day I'll win a date with her."

Frankie seemed pissed with Caleb's infatuation with Amber saying, "Caleb is so blinded by Amber, that he has no idea that people are making moves around him."

Victoria decided that she would join the show by walking out in the back yard and shouting, "Show us what your name is!" Hilariously, that caused Hayden to say, "No seriously, what is your name?"

Big Brother homophobe Jeff Shroeder met with Donny's family and we learned that they don't watch the show, and instead go to bed.

We did learn that Donny's dad likes Bonanza, and that his mom doesn't like him to wear shorts.

And when Jeff asked, What's your first taste of Big Brother, do you like it? Donny's mom sternly replied, "No, I don't."

Worse yet, when Donny said he had a one armed brother, I always thought that his good arm would have been more than a nub.

Or as Donny said, "He don't have a left arm, he only have a right arm, and it don't look like this."

Donny Thompson on Big Brother...The South frightens me.

On the other hand, while Donny's girl friend isn't hot in a traditional sense, he still out kicked his coverage.

Donny Thompson's girlfriend: Then again, it is the south.

In the end, Devin was unanimously voted out. 
Upon meeting with Connie Chung, Devin immediately questioned Donny.

"I see he wears that Harvard Medical sweat shirt, I think he has something to do with Harvard. He wears all that camou gear, what does he do?"

Sure enough, Connie responded by confirming, "He is a grounds keeper," much to Devin's chagrin.

And while Devin had criticize the game of Joey, Zach sent him a going home message that said, "You're possibly the worst player in BB history, because your social game was god awful."

As M.C. Hammer would say..."Proper."

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