Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Big Brother 16 Blog - "I picked the picture with the big wiener, I picked the picture with the small wiener. That wiener mistake burned some valuable time."

This week we rejoined Big Brother with the HOH Competition still in progress.

Nicole and Donny ended up winning the two HOH's, which promised to change the game, assuming that neither of them pussed out.

Knowing that Nicole hated him, Zach stormed off faking to be angry after telling Nicole that he'd be okay if she nominated him as part of what he described as "reverse psychology to make her make a stupid decision," or what I would call, completely over thinking the situation.

Nicole confided to Derrick that her plan was to backdoor Frankie, and while he doesn't agree, he didn't want to rat her out either.

Caleb tried to kiss Donny's ass while threatening him at the same time since he knew he'd be his target after having nominated him in Week 1.

However, Donny wasn't backing down saying, "Caleb told me he would never want to go up on the block with someone like Victoria. He never should have told me that."

Sure enough, Donny nominated Caleb and Victoria, while Nicole put up Jocasta and Zach.

In an all time great nomination speech from Nicole, she called out the wanna-be villain, Zach.

"Zach, I wanted to keep up the tradition of using the "Big Brother Dictionary," so I looked up 'Super Villain,' and I only saw a picture of Evil Dick."

While Zach took offense to being called irrelevant in the game, he also felt confident despite being nominated.

"Nicole doesn't think that I'm the super villain that I actually am, I find that offensive...You can nominate me all you want Nicole, but I know I have my team on my back, and I have numbers to stay."

The Battle of the Block required the nominees to build a path of dominoes to successfully knock down and set off a buzzer.

Knowing that she was outmatched, the ultra religious Jocasta still had a trick or two up her sleeve.

"I have to trust my own alliance. It's the father, the son, and the holy spirit."

God damn it, Jocasta forgot about Tammy Faye Baker...Everyone always forgets about Tammy Faye Baker.

With Victoria actually looking semi competitive a stunned Derrick noted, "It looks like Beast Mode Cowboy brought out Beast Mode Princess. I don't think she's moved like that since Black Friday."

Caleb and Victoria ended up winning, but still had to hit slop for two weeks, which might not have been a bad thing for her figure.

Victoria Rafaeli: Before she went on Big Brother and got fat. 

Additionally, Caleb accepted the punishment of letting Victoria shave his head while they both had to wear "Adam and Eve Tards" in addition to being chained together for two days.

Despite winning, Caleb wasn't happy with his punishments, especially having to get his head shaved.

"Being chained to a nincompoop for 48 hrs, literally having to shave my beautiful hair off my head, and having to eat slop for two more weeks is all a losing factor...With a bald head I look DUMB, I look dumb"

Yep, Caleb Reynolds only looks "dumb" because Victoria shaved his head.

However, Frankie stroked Caleb's ego, amongst other things, when he said, "Caleb, I'm going to want to have sex with you more than I already do."

In fact, Frankie was pretty much drooling when Victoria took the razor to Caleb's racist locks.

"It was hot. Watching a practically naked man get shaved and that vibrating clipper passes through his thick nest of manly hair."

Frankie Grande: Well, at least someone in the house is attracted to Caleb Reynolds.

For some reason, Christine told her supposed BFF Nicole that Hayden and Victoria made out, even though she had no idea whether they really did or not, which they didn't.

Meanwhile, Zach couldn't stop calling people "Fruit loop dingus."

The POV Competition had the competitors match comics based on the house guests based on very short sneak peak that they received while zip lining past a window.

However the comic choices were slightly different for each person, so you they had to pay real close attention.

For example, Nicole didn't realize that she was riding a giant wiener in her comic. "I picked the picture with the big wiener, I picked the picture with the small wiener. That wiener mistake burned some valuable time."

Nicole Franzel may not have appreciated them when she arrived in the Big Brother house, but she definitely left the game with an affinity for wieners. Frankenmuth baby!

Christine ended up winning the POV, which Nicole wanted her to use it so she could backdoor Frankie.

However, Christine betrayed her friend and elected not to use the veto, which put the target on Zach, unbeknownst to him.

However, Frankie got freaked out when he saw Derrick, Cody and Zach all whispering. Derrick tried to dispel his concern by saying that Zach was playing both sides, and saying that they should "get him out now."

Shows that he was loyal to Frankie, Derrick still got what he wanted, as "The Detonators" re-bonded, and decided to keep Zach in order to keep their numbers.

In the end Jocasta eliminated, who was cool with it because, "That's what God wanted."

In what turned out to be a double eviction night, it was revealed that there would only be a single HOH for just the next eviction.

Connie Chung also informed the contestants that "Just because you're out of the house, doesn't mean you're out of the game."

The impromptu HOH was a math question Q & A  based on events in the house in the form of "More," "Less," or "Exactly" answers.

Caleb ended up winning HOH, and immediately nominated Hayden and Donny.

The Power of Veto Competition was also held, which required the players to retrieve 3 rubber duckies out of a huge vat of blue balls, or as Paola would have called them, her ex-boyfriends' nuts.

Donny was a surprise winner and took himself off the block. That caused Caleb to put Nicole up against her boyfriend Hayden as his replacement nominee, and Hayden was evicted.

Hayden took his eviction in good spirits though, telling Connie, "I got boned...I thought I had it so good."

He also shed some light on his relationship with Nicole saying, "I'm single in L.A., she's a country girl ready to get married, so..."

I guess you can figure out the math on that one.

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