Saturday, March 1, 2014

The Bachelor Blog - "That's fine, it's okay."


This week's multi-part Bachelor event resumed for the Overnight Dates in Saint Lucia, where Juan Pablo looked forward to having the cameras off so he could "talk" with the girls in private.

And while it's a no-win situation for Juan Pablo to discuss what really goes on in the Fantasy Suites, if he's going to sugar coat it with a lie, he could have at least come up with a lie that was somewhat believable.

Things kicked off with Clare showing America her ass crack, telling Juan Pablo that she loved him, and pretending to agonize over whether she should accept his invitation to spend the night in the Fantasy Suite.

As you may all recall, Clare and Juan Pablo made the ocean their Fantasy Suite in Vietnam about a month ago.

This time the joke was on Juan Pablo, as while he took Clare to bed, he woke up with her fat sister, Laura.

As for his remaining Overnight Dates, Juan Pablo referred to Nikki as being "good with people," and Andi as being "so easy going," showing America that he was the worst judge of character ever...Or at least since Ben Flajnik.

Nikki's Overnight Date went well, culminating with her telling Juan Pablo that she loved him in order to get him to sleep with her. No word yet as to whether or not Juan Pablo remembered to change the "fantasy sheets" after his sleepover with Clare.

And while Juan Pablo also charmed Andi into the Fantasy Suite, saying that they "laughed all night long," she had apparently already decided that she was going to have an awful time in order to better frame her bid to become the next Bachelorette.

Right on cue, Andi left Juan Pablo's room saying, "Waking up this morning, I could not wait to get out of the Fantasy Suite...The whole night was just a disaster."

No word yet on whether or not Andi Dorfman brought her one-piece lingerie along with her to the Fantasy Suite for Juan Pablo.

Apparently Andi's chief complaint was that Juan Pablo did not make the effort to talk with (or about) her after they woke up the next morning, meaning that she was likely a virgin who had never dealt with a man post coitus.

While the other girls made video messages following their dates, Andi made a point to tell a completely oblivious Juan Pablo, who had just said, "I like Andi, I like Andi a lot," her feelings in person.

In a true indication that all bitches are crazy no matter how book smart they are, Andi basically broke up with Juan Pablo and then demanded an explanation as to why from him.

And when Juan Pablo tried to make things easier on her by saying "That's fine, it's okay," Andi fumed, "Just don't say 'It's okay' ever again...I want to die if I have to hear 'it's okay' again."

Unlike Andi, a genuinely confused Juan Pablo showed some class and did his best to take the high ground saying, "She's a lawyer, I no want to argue with a lawyer."

By that point Andi was pissed, having realized that her big plan to try and land the gig as the new Bachelorette by making herself look like she was a victim wasn't working.

And while some people have bought into Andi's closing argument, it's kind of tough to take someone seriously when she came on a reality dating show along with 20 other women with the final goal of getting engaged, and then has the audacity to accuse the other person of not taking the time to get to know her...It's literally part of the deal.

Andi also took issue with Juan Pablo allegedly having told her that she made it to the final three girls over Renee by default, which only confused him because he did not know what that word even meant.

Andi left saying, "He doesn't get it, he never will...It's not a language barrier, he just doesn't see it."

In the end, Andi took Juan Pablo's "It's okays" to mean that he didn't give a shit, which even if that was his intent, shouldn't have mattered anyway because she was the one who had just dumped him.

The episode concluded with Juan Pablo telling Nikki and Clare, the two girls who hated each other the most, that Andi had left and that they were the two finalists...By default.

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