Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Blogging Survivor: Brawn vs. Brains vs. Beauty - "He always asks her to shake her butt"

This week's Survivor began with the Nerd Tribe in shambles.

Or as Kass said, "We're not the Brain Tribe, we're the crap for brain tribe. Just a rolling log jam mess, with a couple of nerds on top."

However, when the teams arrived for the Reward Challenge, Jeff dropped a bombshell, "All right everybody, drop your buffs," as he announced that the three original tribes would be merging into two new ones.

The three nerds stayed together, while adding Morgan, Alexis, Jeremiah and Sarah to form the new Aparri Tribe. Meanwhile, Cliff, Wu, Trish, Jefra, LJ, Lindsey and Tony joined forces to form the Solana Tribe.

The new tribes then participated in the Reward Challenge where the teams sent out pairs of two to try and remove an opponent who had wrapped themselves around a pole, and then drag that opponent to the finish line the fastest.

Unfortunately, the reward wasn't all that great, as all the winners got was some coffee, sweets and a case of the shits.

The new Solana Tribe ended up winning because Aparri was unable to pry Cliff off the pole two times in a row.

That made me think that the Aparri Tribe probably should have put Morgan up on their pole, because like Cliff, I'm pretty sure that once she gets on that pole, she's on it for life.

Talk about an amazing Reward Challenge, Morgan McLeod nearly popped a boob, while Lindsey Ogle got an ass wedgie!

After the merge, Trish set her sights on the much younger LJ. "I think LJ's a really handsome guy, but I could be his mother. I mean, I'm not Ms. Robinson."

And LJ saw that as an opportunity to stay in the game.

"If for whatever reason I'm a draw to somebody who's a little bit older, that's single, and you know, who's been through a lot of stuff, whether it's the sex appeal...I'm going to use it to save myself."

Lindsey was less than impressed.

"Trish totally exaggerates her laugh around guys, and it makes me sick. I mean, you're 50 years old, stop trying to get attention from 20 year old men.

Trisha was much funnier when she was "Fire Marshall Bill."

Alexis approached former Brain Tribe members Kass, Tasha and Stewart about joining up with them, while throwing Morgan and Jeremiah under the bus.

Morgan had the same idea, and tried to throw the bus right back on top of Alexis.

"LJ and her like cuddle together every night, and he always asks her to shake her butt. She like prides herself on being able to Twerk really well."

Then again, I don't know that Morgan's attack was quite as hard hitting as she thought it was, because if I was in a tribe with Alexis, I'd probably ask her to shake her butt too.

Of course, Jeremiah made it three when he volunteered to jump shit and leave the former Beauty's in order to align with the pathetic Nerds, who like redheads, were all but extinct heading into the merge.

Meanwhile, Jefra and LJ went the other direction, and lobbied to join up with the former Brawns.

Jefra Bland doing her best to lobby for a new alliance.

The Immunity Challenge required the tribes to use a log as a battering ram and blast through two walls, and then navigate that log through a table maze.

Aparri ended up winning Immunity, while Tony asked in disbelief, "How did that happen?"

Sure enough, Tony targeted LJ for eviction, as did the rest of the former Brawns. Or as Lindsey said, "Trisha is up his ass."

However, Trish wanted to get rid of Cliff because he was "Shady," even though he wasn't, and when she told LJ of her plan, he seemed to think that he was safe enough not to play his Idol.

At Tribal Council, Lindsey declared how the former Brawns needed to stick together regardless of pecking order, as they needed numbers heading into a merge.

Lindsey Ogle: Talk about sticky buns!

For some reason LJ decided not to play his Idol, which turned out to be the right move, because Cliff got blindsided when Tony and Trish both decided to vote against him.

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