Friday, July 19, 2013

The Big Brother 15 Blog - "You don't get to see my boobs...Alright, I'll show you later"

Click here to get the most up to date Big Brother 15 Blog posts

This week began with Aaryn enraged that the house blind-sided her mentally challenged boyfriend David and sent him home.

"They made it personal when they went after David, and now I don't trust anyone...I did not see that coming at all. Like, how could this house not vote Elissa out?"

Meanwhile, the HOH Competition continued with the house guests competing in pairs to fill up a large container with barbecue sauce using only small ladles while walking up and down an icy slope.

That caused Howard to exclaim, "This is the slipperiest, nastiest, raunchiest BBQ I've ever been to, and I'm from the South!

Amanda took a different strategy than everyone else, electing to crawl instead of slide. "The plus side of being on all fours is A), I can't fall, and B), I can't pop an implant. Who's the winner now?"

Amanda Zuckerman's fake boobs have been instrumental in her attempt to con McCrae Olson away from his alliance with The Moving Company. Unfortunately for McCrae, Amanda has a boyfriend back home in Florida.

That caused McCrae to nearly hyperventilate. "I'm watching Amanda, and she's on all fours, she's all greased up, Oh, she's breathing heavy. I'm having a little bit of a moment right now."

Meanwhile, Elissa said, "We are so close, and we feel victory in our fingertips"....Unfortunately for Elissa, she confused victory with Judd's penis, as Jeremy and Aaryn ended up winning. 

That caused Jeremy to boast, "These people just think I'm being cocky, but what'd I say? I said I'm gonna win. What'd I do? I went out there and won. Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT! TOOT!"

Aaryn dedicated her win to avenging David's ouster from the house. "We did this for David, and we're coming after you guys."

Aaryn also noted how upset David was going to be when he saw this episode because he was going to see how sad she was.

Unfortunately for Aaryn, by the time the episode aired David had already forgotten who she even was, but he did get really excited when his master came home.

Forced to choose which of the two would become the next HOH, Jeremy inexplicably gave it to Aaryn.

"1) She just had her man candy leave 2) She's not going to vote me out 3) Guess who gets to compete next week for HOH? 'This guy.'"

Drunk with power, or perhaps just drunk, Aaryn demanded to know who voted David out.

That caused Nick to say to the Diary Room, "WHO VOTED OUT DAVID? I'll tell you who voted out David, IT WAS ME...But I'm not going to say anything."

Andy was much more forthright by privately telling Aaryn that he voted to send David home and explaining why. "So I decided to be truthful with Aaryn, and what I mean by truthful is lie, lie, lie...Basically I'm keeping my friends close, and my Aaryn's closer."

When Aaryn asked, "Who wants to see my HOH room," Ellen responded by saying, "Oh God, kill me. I'd rather eat slop for the rest of the summer."

Andy put a more positive spin on that opportunity. "How often is it that you get to see baby pictures of the Devil?"

While Jeremy lobbied Aaryn to put Helen and Elissa up to help the "Moving Company" alliance, Aaryn targeted Nick. "People are lying...and if it's you Nick, I'm going to cut off your dick in your sleep."

She then started giggling maniacally at the thought of "Bobbiting" Nick. 

Aaryn got even uglier when it came to some of the other house guests she was upset at for voting against David.

For example, she targeted Candice and Helen with racist comments, and Andy with a gay slur that would have made Big Brother's favorite homophobe Jeff Shroeder proud.

Some of the "wittier" comments she came up with included, "Dude, shut up, go make some rice" while talking about Helen, and, "No one's going to vote for whoever that queer puts up" in reference to Andy.

Amanda seemed to realize the severity of Aaryn's comments.

"On top of Aaryn being a raging bitch, she's very naive and sheltered....And she makes comments where she makes fun of other people, for what they look like and their ethnicity, and I think it's going to hurt the game and outside the game."

Sure enough, and unbeknowst to Aaryn, it was announced that she had been dropped by her modeling agency for the comments she made:
"Aaryn, season 15 cast member of Big Brother, revealed prejudices and other beliefs that we (Zephyr Talent) do not condone.We certainly find the statements made by Aaryn on the live Internet feed to be offensive. Upon much consideration, we have decided to release Aaryn from her contract with Zephyr Talent."

Amanda even pulled Aaryn aside to tell her that she'd been accused of being racist, and politely warned her to be mindful of what she was saying.

And instead of realizing the severity of the situation she had put herself in, Aaryn just rolled her eyes at Amanda.

"That's the most obnoxious, annoying thing I've ever heard...I'm not even going to acknowledge it because it's the biggest joke," before she made a fart noise to drive home her point.

Aaryn then tried to justify her racist remarks by blaming the people she offended.

"That is the most immature thing ever. They call me 'Barbie' and all sorts of things about me being blond all the time, so what's the difference? I wish that I cared more about this, but I don't."

Aaryn Gries doesn't appear to realize that while she chose to be a bleach blond slut who shows her ass in public to try and get what she wants, real people don't get to chose their ethnicity or sexual orientation.

Amazingly, Candice and Helen somehow figured out that Spencer, Nick, Howard, McCrae and Jeremy were in an alliance together and playing the rest of the house.

Not one to waste her time on strategy, Jessie decided that she wanted a lover in the house, so she began to stalk Nick by literally following him around the house.

"I'm a single guy, there's a lot of single girls in the house, but, what's up with Jessie? Talk about a stage five clinger...I can't get rid of this girl. Jessie, can't you take a hint?

And when you're a good looking girl with a great ass like Jessie Kowalski, something has to be seriously wrong with your personality when you're chasing after guys and they won't even give you the time of day.

Jeremy, thinking that he's running the game asked, "Should I put up Amanda and Elissa? Apparently forgetting that he wasn't the HOH.

Jeremy then went on to tell Aaryn that Amanda was the mastermind behind David's eviction, when it was really his Moving Company alliance. "I could blame her mother, and she would probably put her up."

But when it came down to it, Aaryn ended up nominating Helen and Elissa, telling Ellen, "You have an amazing shot at getting the Veto, and I hope you do my nails."

However, Elissa once again won America's MVP, giving her the power to secretly nominate a third person for eviction.

Elissa decided to nominate Jeremy, to which Aaryn said, "Shocker."

Trying to intimidate the rest of the house heading into the POV Competition Jeremy yelled, "I'm a caged animal, I'm a "manimal"...Guard your meat, because I'm coming to eat," which even made Andy afraid.

Of course, Jeremy's intimidation tactics failed when it turned out the POV competition required him to dress up like a baby. "It' really hard to stay in beast mode when you in a huge lavender onesie."

Revealing to Nick that she was America's MVP, Elissa asked him to throw the POV Competition or she would nominate him as replacement. In return, she promised to keep him safe for two weeks.

However, Nick would not agree, feeling relatively safe even if he went up due to the support of his secret alliance.

Big Brother Hall-Of-Famer Brittney Haynes returned to announce the POV Competition...And that she was pregnant.

Unfortunately for Lane Ellenburg, Brittney Haynes' baby isn't his.

The POV Competition involved hanging 10 stuffed animals on a mobile like hanger, with the first person getting them all to balance without touching the ground and ringing their buzzer winning.

Being a finesse competition, Jeremy struggled out of the gate.

"I'm trying to keep these stuffed animals on this mobile, but they keep falling off left and right. These muscles keep getting in the way, and it's extremely frustrating."

Having already attempted to ring her buzzer once only to have one of her animals slightly touching the ground, Amanda went for a second attempt yelling, "Yeah bitches, what now? WOO!"

Unfortunately, she once again failed to balance her animals long enough to get to her buzzer.

That caused a humbled Amanda to exclaim in despair, "Much like a baby, I feel like crying and I need a bottle...of vodka."

Amanda's DeShawn Jackson-esque premature celebration allowed Jeremy to come from behind and win the POV, and he ripped off his onesie in celebration.

"Guess who brought home the gold, guess who brought it home to mommy. mwa, mwa, mwa! (kissing the veto). It's a little gold baby pacifier, but it's a veto champion, nom, nom, nom."

Jeremy McGuire will never be mistaken for Brandi Chastain....GOOOAAAALLLL!

Trying to protect Kaitlin, Jeremy tried to bully his own alliance by saying that he would back out if they didn't vote Elissa out. That didn't go over so well with The Moving Company:

Nick: "Now we're talking more like a monarchy, and not like a business."

Howard: "Dude, pump your breaks on giving orders. God is the only guy I answer to. The rest of us, we're in this thing together."

McCrae: "Who died and made you boss? This worries me. It's about the group. It's about the core...Down the line we're going to have to be really careful with Jeremy."

Spencer: Well...Actually, Spencer just agreed with Jeremy.

Ironically, it was Jeremy who went against that alliance last week when he secretly voted to keep David.

With Nick not agreeing to throw the veto, Elissa put him up as her Replacement Nominee when Jeremy took himself off the block.

With the cameras running before the live vote to evict, Julie Chen asked the house guests if they ever forget that they're always on camera in a thinly veiled attempt to ask Aaryn about her racist and homophobic remarks.

However, Aaryn remained oblivious, saying that she doesn't forget about the cameras. "I'm just a very open person, so everyone who's here knows a lot about me, and so does America now."

That caused Julie to say, "Yes, we all do," somewhat letting Aaryn off the hook, and showing America that her time on The Talk has really taught Julie Chen how to ask the tough question.

In the end, Spencer and McCrae went against The Moving Company and voted to evict Nick out of the game.

When the results were announced, GinaMarie began wailing uncontrollably...Not because Nick got evicted, because there were still black people left in the house that she had to live with.

In reference to GinaMarie's crush Nick said, "This house is making me feel like a super pimp. First it was Jessie. She followed me around the entire house, I could not shake her off. Now, it's GinaMarie."

He also made his thoughts about her clear. "Although there may be love in the air, I don't necessary feel the same way."

GinaMarie even went as far as to say, "I was actually serious about you taking a shower with me, but that's fine. You don't get to see my boobs," before quickly backtracking on her threat, "Alright, I'll show you later."

Even the naive Aaryn seemed to realize that GinaMarie was pursuing a hopeless cause. "GinaMarie, you could put your vagina out and he (Nick) wouldn't come over here."

Upon being interviewed following his eviction, Nick correctly guessed that Spencer turned on him. That caused Connie Chung to say, "You're super right."

And when talking about the house dynamics Nick said, "Give it another couple of weeks, and I probably would've just been hanging out with Gina...Marie.

Connie Chung didn't miss a beat and added, "Who is like curled up in a ball right now somewhere in the corner of the house."

Connie Chung remained on fire telling Nick, "I think you should've kissed Jessie, she maybe would've given you a vote."

The new HOH Competition involved waking up the contestants all night long, who had to memorize the number and contents of boxes being delivered by "Big Brother Express" on a conveyor belt.

That culminated with a True or False competition that Helen ended up winning in two tie-breakers.

With Helen taking over as the new HOH Jeremy and Kaitlin consoled each other by hugging, while Aaryn stormed off in an angry racist huff.

Meanwhile, GinaMarie was in need of a Prozac as she continued to bemoan the loss of Nick. "I loved him so much!"

Big Brother 15 Power Ratings - Each week I'm going rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after the second week:

14. Aaryn Gries - Aaryn Gries may not be going home right away simply because she poses no threat to the house from a physical or intellectual standpoint, but she has absolutely no chance of winning Big Brother 15.

I really hope that Julie Chen, who Aaryn amazingly forgot hosts the show when she was making anti-Asian racist remarks, steps up her game and takes it to her on live TV once Aaryn gets evicted the way she talked about it on her day job show, The Talk:
"My heart is pounding. Am I the only one who feels so enraged? This is the third time I've watched that clip, and it does not get any easier. I think it shows us all that in 2013, race is still a deeply, deeply personal issue and it is so extremely hurtful. And unless you have ever been on the receiving issue end of it, you simply do not know what it's like to walk a mile in someone's shoes."
At least Aaryn can add a new title to her resume in addition to being a former Maxim model and Miss Teen Colorado International.

Sadly, Aaryn Gries would probably consider being named "Miss Racist Teen Texas" an honor coming from a privileged world of pageantry and blow jobs.

13. Jeremy McGuire - With Nick declaring, "I dated a Playboy Playmate," Jeremy tried to one up him by claiming, "I dated two Hooters girls," apparently not realizing that quantity does not necessarily equal quality.

Jeremy did reveal that he currently has ringworm, and once got scabies from "a spa at a gym," where ironically Helen's family once worked as "masseuses."

12. Kaitlin Barnaby - With her Showmance and Mean Girls alliances quickly falling apart, Kaitlin seems to be scrambling to disassociate herself from Kaitlin and Jeremy and kiss the asses of the rest of the house.

And while Kaitlin Barnaby appears to have a perfect ass, unfortunately for her, it is now infested with ringworm and scabies.

11. GinaMarie Zimmerman - Like Aaryn, GinaMarie was caught on camera dropping the N-bomb, and making racist remarks like threatening to punch Helen in the face and "knock her eyes straight," forgetting the host of Big Brother also happens to be Asian.

Again, like Aaryn, GinaMarie has already been fired from her job as a "pageant organizer" for her comments:
"The East Coast USA Pageant is an outlet for girls and women to gain self-confidence, announce their platform and most importantly celebrate who they are. We believe and teach our contestants that beauty comes from within. We celebrate the diversity of our participants as all ethnicities are beautiful. We have never known this side of Ginamarie or have ever witnessed such acts of racism in the past," Lauren Handler, the National Director and CEO of East Coast USA Pageant, says in a statement.
Additionally, repeated attempts to stand up for GinaMarie and justify her actions, a close friend who was running GinaMarie's Twitter account while she was on Big Brother finally threw in the towel:
"I absolutely do not condone or approve of Gina's behavior in any way. As a result, I will no longer be tweeting for her. Best wishes. x Ari."

I'm guessing the only place we're going to be seeing GinaMarie Zimmerman working after Big Brother 15 is as a stripper or posing naked in Penthouse.

10. Spencer Clawson - Spencer probably made the wrong call in ditching the Moving Company, as he's now at the ass end of an alliance with Helen, Andy and company, none of whom seem to trust him.

9. Howard Overby - The religious leader in the house, Howard indicated that he doesn't keep his religion to himself claiming, "It's a gift to be shared," much like GinaMarie's virginity.

8. Jessie Kowalski - Jessie indicated that she wants to be a public figure, but called it a "Presumptuous dream...Because people have to actually like you to be a public figure."

Jessie also told GinaMarie that they both had a great chance at winning America's MVP, to which GinaMarie totally agreed, knowing first hand that America loves girls who show off their boobs.

The house has been abuzz on Big Brother After Dark about Jessie Kowalski for flashing her nipples, apparently not realizing that her bikini was see through. Or as Andy said on Big Brother After Dark, "Are we sure it was Jess screaming, or was it her nipples?"

7. Rachel Reilly's Sister - You've got to love our country, who keeps handing Rachel Reilly's less talented sister America's MVP, when Candice, Helen and Andy have acted with nothing but class despite being subjected to racist and homophobic slurs this summer.

6. Judd Daughtery - Even Judd, the slack-jawed Southerner from the backwoods of Tennessee who only appears to speak Confederate seemed to understand what Aaryn was saying was just plain wrong saying, "Doesn't she know she's on TV and shouldn't say that?"

5.  Andy Herren - The ultimate floater, Andy has managed to appease the entire house by agreeing and saying, "Yeah...For sure," whenever someone comes to talk strategy with him.

4. McCrae Olson - McCrae has put himself in a great position in the house. The question now remains whether or not he has the sack to cut ties with Amanda before she screws him over for the money, and I think we all know how that story is going to end.

3. Candice Stewart - Candice is a good person who has put up with a lot of shit in the house, but she's going to need to make some moves on her own to separate herself from Helen when it gets down to the end of the game, and so far she hasn't played the social game with the rest of the house that one would expect from a former NFL cheerleader. 

 2. Amanda Zuckerman - Along with Helen, nobody in the house is strategizing more than Amanda. But more importantly Nick let it drop during his eviction speech that Amanda has hoarded all of the Band-aids in the house, which she uses to cover her nipples. 

1. Helen Kim - Helen has gone from being a secluded wallflower to holding a great deal of power in the house. More importantly, she has built her bonds through kindness, even reaching out to those in the house

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