Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Bachelor Blog - "She's an emotional mess, the last thing I want to do is add to it"

This week began with Sean ditching the "Batch-Copter" and bringing the girls to St. Croix via a sea plane.

After they arrived, Tierra refused to stay with the other girls, electing instead to pull a roll-away into some sort of hallway or closet.

"I'm not about to share someone with some girls I just don't care for. I'm not friends with girls who like my boyfriend,"

Of course, that was actually a strategic move on her part in order avoid syncing "mensies," thereby giving her a competitive advantage over the other girls with Sean when it came down to the "Fantasy Suite" dates.

It was refreshing to see girls like Lindsay and Lesley who are members of the "IBTC" make to the final 5 over some of the less "cosmetically challenged" girls. 

The first 1-on-1 date went to AshLee who said, "Every time I'm with Sean I get carried away. If it's not physical, it's emotionally carried away," with her emphasis on the word "emotionally."

AshLee did acknowledge that she has abandonment issues, which explained her fake boobs for the time being.

We also learned that AshLee was an unheard of 32-years-old when it comes to women who come on The Bachelor when she proclaimed, "The cougar's back in town!" 

That lead to Tierra questioning why she hadn't married younger when she asked, "Why hasn't she found somebody who she can settle down with?" Keep in mind, however; that statement was coming from the girl who's last boyfriend killed himself by O.D.'ing on drugs.

At least AshLee put wings on her bikini to distract from her horribly aimed fake boobs...In fact, it reminds me of having to re-align the headlights on my first car, a 1984 Buick Century...Which coincidentally was AshLee's birth year.

Sean put AshLee on the spot by asking her what she thought about Tierra, and she was more than happy to throw her under the bus.

It's the house and Tierra...Who you get is a completely different girl than the house gets...She's going to be 'pouty pants' like she is with the group of girls."

While AshLee eventually worried about having talked negatively about one of her competitors, Sean seemed to actually value her opinion.

And when he said, "When she tells me something about Tierra, I'm going to believe it," AshLee began to see Sean as the only male influence in her life who didn't try to sexually molest her.

Sean went on to say, "I can't imagine anything going wrong at this point," before he jinxed it by asking, "Is there anything that we haven't covered that we should have cover."

AshLee responded in the affirmative and began by saying, "Fifteen years ago when I was in high school, I was having a hard time with my Mom and Dad."

At that point Sean had to be saying to himself, "Please tell me you were a stripper, please tell me you were a stripper..."

As it turns out, AshLee got married in high school at the age of seventeen, and divorced by the time she was eighteen. "That's kind of my skeleton, and not proud of it...I don't want to be like this broken girl."

Dating as a Sophomore, married during her Junior year, and divorced as a Senior? I'm guessing that AshLee got caught having sex and her ultra religious parents forced her to get married.

Sean ended up re-assuring her and giving her a kiss, which caused AshLee to screams out loud that she loved him.

Sean next sent Tierra a 1-on-1 date card that said, "Let's explore the streets of St. Croix to enjoy the culture." It also gave him a chance to figure out why all the other bitches hate her so much."

I didn't realize that Sean Lowe dated Kelly Clarkson...Oh wait, that's Tierra LiCausi...My apoligies to Kelly Clarkson.

When Sean found a jewelry shop and bought Tierra a bracelet, she may have creamed in her fat girl panties.

"Sean bought me an eternity bracelet!" She went on to say, "I never received anything like this," mainly because her last boyfriend died from a drug overdose and set the bar relatively well.

Sean then asked Tierra the tough question. "If you could do it over again, would act differently in front of the other girls?"

However, Tierra showed no remorse for her actions saying, "Nuh-uh. These girls aren't going to be around for much longer, you know."

After kissing Tierra Sean came to a conclusion. "I've finally come to the conclusion that she's probably not nice to the other women, but she's being genuine when she says that she's here for me."

Now that Pope Benedict has resigned, he's believed to be on a very short list to become Penn State's new defensive coordinator.
For the Group Date Sean surprised the girls at 4:22 a.m. to see how they looked without makeup or their clothes on.

That caused Lindsay to exclaim, "I'm naked!" And with the prospect of seeing the girls without any makeup or clothes on, that made me thankful that Tierra had elected to sleep in her own room.

While some girls like Lindsay worried about their armpit hair Catherine proudly declared, "I'm probably the lowest maintenance person here, I just need to pee and I'm good to go," mainly because Asian girls don't have any hair to shave.

Catherine then went on to inform Sean that her father would not be there if he gave her a home town date since he had attempted suicide in front of her and her sisters when she was fourteen and moved back to China.

However, the Group Date Rose went to Lindsay, who proved to be the only girl remaining on the show who didn't have any obvious daddy issues.

The final 1-on-1 Date went to Lesley, who Sean elected to take on a relaxed date to some sort of fruit orchard, because The Bachelor had apparently gone over budget for the season.

While not as luxurious as some of the other dates, Lesley was fine with it saying, "I could be on Tierra's cot, and it would be awesome."

However, Sean went on to say how their relationship was "not where it needed to be at this point."

And while Lesley acknowledged that she needed to tell Sean that she was falling in love with him, she chickened out at the last second, even though Sean practically begged the question.

That caused Sean to say, "Lesley exudes confidence in every area, except our relationship."

And while Lesley claimed that she was into Sean, but just wanted to move slow, her body language was telling a different story.

Lesley finally ended up letting Sean kiss her and saying, "I never want to get used to that."
As Sean wrestled with his decision as to which two girls to cut, his sister Shay fortunately showed up in her hot pink ass shorts to tell him how he should judge the other girls.

When Sean told Shay that no one girl in particular stood out, Shay told him not to pick the girl who hadn't revealed enough to him.

Unfortunately, that lead him totally in the wrong direction, since Lesley was moving relatively slow as compared to the other girls who were more revealing...Yeah, more revealing.

Tierra then decided to confront AshLee for sabotaging her relationship with Sean.

And when AshLee responded by calling Tierra out for not being friendly or even responsive to the other girls, all Tierra could say was, "I'm a 24 year old woman, you're 32-years-old!"

Which I think may have actually proved AshLee's point, just not as pointy as her nipples.

Tierra revealed that her parents told her, "Tierra, you have a sparkle, don't let those girls take your sparkle away," which is exactly what I would expect parents of a home schooled child or mental retard to say.

When AshLee confronted Tierra about her raised eyebrows and otherwise bitchy ways, Tierra took exception.

"Raised eyebrow? AshLee, that's my face! I can't help it! I cannot control my eyebrow, I cannot control my eyebrow!"

And just when Sean told his sister that he was going to go grab Tierra to talk about her relationship with the other girls, they walked in on Tierra sobbing after her fight with AshLee.

And while Tierra sobbed, "Why is this happening?", Sean asked, "I don't understand why you're acting like this!"

And when Sean revealed, "I came here so you can meet somebody," Tierra demanded, "Who?!?"

Of course, Sean was referring to his sister, and he told Tierra, "Hold on for one second, I'll be right back."

And when Sean did come back, he told Tierra that it might be best for her to go home now.

And when he asked, "Are you going to be okay," She snapped by saying, "No! I'm not."

Tierra went on to complain, "I can't believe he did this to me! I just want to go home! I hope the girls got what they wanted!" Because, clearly, Tierra did nothing to bring this on herself.

Apparently realizing that he had made some bad choices and that he had pushed Tierra to the edge Sean said, "She's an emotional mess..The last thing you want to do is add to it."

And as she realized that she was going home Tierra slipped back into a psychotic state muttering, "Nobody will take my sparkle away, I'm not letting that happen!"

That caused Sean to comment, "Tierra was obviously a source of drama, and just to clarify, I'm not looking for that in a partner."

Feeling as if he had some clarity, Sean announced that there would not be a Cocktail Party before the Rose Ceremony.

And honestly, as much as I've dogged Sean, he probably ended up choosing the best final five girls for him.

Although I was a bit surprised when he picked AshLee to go on a Hometown Date over Leslie...But that's just a matter of preference I guess.

Not only did Leslie seem like the most real girl on the show, but AshLee just puts out the crazy/bitchy vibe, meaning that she may or may not be incapable of having fun.

Afterall, Leslie was from Arkansas, while Sean's from Texas, which is pretty much the same thing.

Then again, maybe Sean just wanted to use The Bachelor to get some "strange."

Sadly, Leslie seemed to express the appropriate amount of sadness on her way out, suggesting that she really might have been into Sean unlike the other girls.

Of course, Leslie was heard saying, "Alright..." just as Sean slammed the limo door in her face, suggesting that maybe something might have went on that we might have missed.

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