Friday, March 6, 2015

Blogging SURVIVOR: Worlds Apart - "Unfortunately, because she's deaf, it's really hard having a conversation with her."

The Second episode of Survivor - Worlds Apart began with Dan explaining exactly how shit goes down in the game...Literally.

"I'm in the water. I've got my underpants around one leg, trying to do my business, I get hit by a wave...and I lost my man-ties."

That lead to Dan wearing his shirt as his pants, because he refused to cut off his jeans and wear them as shorts, which upset all of Ohio.

Meanwhile, Max decided to salute the greats in the game by playing naked.

"I have absolutely no qualms about dropping trow and being in with birthday suit. It's free, it's comfortable...It's also a great way to get some time alone."

However, Max's plan to get some alone time with his penis backfired when Carolyn bought into his nakedness.

"Max loves this game like I love this game...which makes me love him, which makes me relate to him more. He's kind of a trend setter. It's actually super convenient to be naked a lot of the time.

And, boom, just like that, Carolyn Rivera was naked too...Damn you Max!!!!

At the "no collar" tribe, Hali "tried" to get to know Nina , but decided it was just wasn't worth it.

"Unfortunately, because she's deaf, it's really hard having a conversation with her."

She instead decided to go skinny dipping with Jenn, which left Nina feeling like an outsider, or maybe just like the kid at school who was 25 years older than everyone else.

Because let's face it, if you've ever known a girl under 25, the ability to hear what someone was saying in a conversation has almost nothing to do with whether or not they hang out together.

Sure enough, when Jenn and Hali came back Nina snarked, "It was pretty nice of you guys to ask me to go."

In Hali's defense, she said she did ask Nina to come along, but she never got a response.

Worse yet for the "no collars," Fake Fabio got jealous when Joe came back with a bag of crabs for everyone to eat.

Or as Fake Fabio said, "Joe's kind of that center of attention kind of guy, and it's kind of pissing me off."

That caused Not Fabio to pull Joe aside and call him out for being so well liked and being an over achiever around camp by informing him, "It doesn't go over often very well," to which Joe replied, "Usually, it does. I feel like we're good man."

Unfortunately, Not Fabio didn't agree, and like a bitch, said, "I just need you to acknowledge that you steamroll projects."

The Immunity Challenge was a swimming rope maze, culminating in a basket toss The first place prize was a massive fishing kit, with second place getting a fishing line and hooks.

Dan was eager to participate for the "blue collars" saying, "I'm going to surprise you for a fat guy," and he actually ended up winning his heat against a former pro football player and a guy who looked like Fabio.

In the end, the "white collars" finally got a win, with the "blue collars" finishing second.

At Tribal Council for the "no collars," Not Fabio described himself as the glue of the tribe while Joe and the others tried to keep a straight face.

In regards to being accused of being the weak link in the Immunity Challenge Will said, "Water's always been the black man's kryptonite."

And while I'd say "well played," I'm pretty sure that all of the challenges are going to involve water or puzzles, and we all know how black people feel about mother fucking puzzles.

Joe responded to Not Fabio's jealously by saying, "We've been feeling each other out and I think he's probably going to land right where he needs to. I think tonight, the person that needs to go home will go home."

Sure enough, Not Fabio and his ego were sent packing...Unfortunately, Nina didn't hear that her closest ally got voted out.

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