Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Bachelorette Blog - "I used to be a bed wetter"

This week saw Andi traveling to the Dominican Republic for the Fantasy Suite dates.

That gave her the opportunity to sleep with her final three guys before she broke all of their hearts by choosing a TV career over a relationship, which is going to be sad because for the first time in years all of the finalists in a Bachelor related show all seem to be "all in."

First up was Nick, who not only arrived via the Batch-Copter, but then left with Andi via the Batch-Copter for a date on a secluded beach, which wasn't a bad start for a guy who nearly managed to get through an entire Bachelor/Bachelorette season as a helicopter virgin. 

While Nick tried to tell Andi that he loved her couldn't quite pull the trigger.

"I kind of ramble and try to put sentences together."

However, later in the evening Nick read Andi a story he wrote, complete with a cover and illustrations about their time together on the show.

As an added touch, Nick left a whole bunch of pages empty at the end to imply that their story wasn't finished...Well, either that, or he ran out of time before their date.

At the end of the story Nick kind of finally told Andi that he loved her saying, "I love what I know about you," which earned him the keys to the Fantasy Suite for the night. 

After test driving Nick, Andi moved on to Josh, whom she took on a date out on the town.

In a missed opportunity, Josh was offered a local aphrodisiac, but instead of saying that he didn't need any because he was with Andi, he readily accepted. 

Andi confessed to the camera that her biggest question about Josh (this week) was whether he's serious enough for her.

Josh Murray

Josh was more than willing to tell Andi that he loved her and wanted to marry her, and earned points after Andi warned how she can be difficult by shooting back, "You've already been difficult with me," in reference to their up and down courtship. 

Andi offered Josh the Fantasy Suite, who readily accepted by saying, "Of course...Absolutely," especially after Andi told him that she wanted to connect with him without all the glamor involved...If you know what she meant. 

Last up was Chris, who started off in a hole with Andi calling it a "make or break date," which was unbeknownst to him.

Andi took Chris horseback riding, which did little to help Chris' case considering that she appeared terrified of the thought of even having the horsepower of "one" between her legs.

Apparently never having watched the Kentucky Derby Andi cried, "They're faster than I thought!"

And while Andi told Chris that his was "the best family she ever met," she struggled to tell him that he just wasn't the best guy.

Thinking that he was riding a hot streak, Chris gushed, "Believe it or not, I don't normally have dates in the middle of corn fields and drive tractors around."

Sadly, unlike the other guys, Chris seemed to want to discuss the logistics of a future with Andi, asking her, "I don't want to beat a dead horse, especially after riding horses all day, but where are you at?" in reference to whether she was feeling living on a farm in Iowa.

But when Andi told Chris that she was struggling with the whole Fantasy Suite thing, you could see in his eyes that he knew he was done, although he kept trying to be positive.

However, the writing was on the wall, and Andi sent Chris home before the Rose Ceremony in order to be respectful to him as a great guy, or dare I say, a potential Bachelor.

While Andi tried her best to lie and be diplomatic she said, "I'd rather tell you that I'm trying and trying and it's not there than blame it on Iowa," what she really meant to say was, "I've already accepted a position on The View and I can't possibly move to Iowa.

And when Andi tried to explain, "My head and heart don't match up, it just doesn't match up," Chris made it easy on her by saying, "I should probably go...You did the right thing, and you're an amazing woman."

And the next Bachelor is...Chris Soules. If it isn't, I'd hate to be the girl he meets on Farmersonly.com that he takes his sexual frustration out on.

In the end, Andi seemed to get over cutting Chris loose, and we got to see her and Nick swap embarrassing stories.

And when Nick volunteered, "I used to be a bed wetter," Andi was a little too quick to volunteer, "Me too! The worst, until middle school!"

And realizing that he had a one in two chance of winning that bladder after child birth and another 40 years, the look on Nick's face was priceless.

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