Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Blogging Survivor: Brawn vs. Brains vs. Beauty - "I opened it up and I almost wet my pants"

This week's Survivor started with Jefra attempting to justify why she backed out on the plan to blindside Tony at least week's Tribal Council.

Jefra Bland: Pagaent queens may not be known for their answers to serious questions...and there's a reason for that.

Meanwhile, Kass was upset that Spencer had the audacity to play the Hidden Immunity Idol that he had found rather than share it with someone else.

That caused Kass to pretentiously ask, "What is the most selfish beast on the planet? A college age male," forgetting that nobody wants to hear the opinion of a post menopausal woman...That is, unless she's Sarah Palin. 

When Woo came back from getting "tree mail" with pocket books for everyone to participate in the traditional Survivor food auction, Trish's decision not to do her Kegels in her early 40's reared its ugly head.

"I opened it up and I almost wet my pants!"

At the auction Jefra made a blind bid and won quesadillas, guacamole, salsa and a margarita, which worked out well since she had told the rest of the tribe that she wanted guacamole more than anything else in the world.

Jefra Bland wanted guacamole more than anything else in the world...That is, except for a low level NASCAR driver for a husband.

The anorexic Trish bought a "Zonk" and wound up with nothing for her money but rice and water, which was actually only slightly less nutritious than her normal diet of carrots and salt licks.

Sadly, Trisha Hegarty drew the outside lane in the Kentucky Derby.

Woo bid on and won BBQ ribs and a beer at a bargain price because Spencer, Tony and Tasha were all saving all of their money to bid on an advantage for the game.

However, while Tony and Spencer both maxed out their bid for that "advantage," Tasha elected not to bid, which bit her in the ass when the auction concluded without any more items to bid on.

As it turned out, Tony and Spencer drew rocks, with Tony winning the clue to yet another Hidden Immunity Idol.

Sure enough, he found it as soon as he got back to camp, which gave him two Idols and continued the streak of Survivor's biggest villain finding every single Idol that's ever been hidden.

The Immunity Challenge required the competitors to pull up a buried rope that had five bags of balls attached to it, and then maneuver each of them through a table maze the fastest.

For the third time in a row Tasha ended up winning Immunity, this time over Woo. And with Tasha safe from eviction, that put a target square on Spencer heading into Tribal Council.

However, Tony was so paranoid that he thought he actually started to think that he was plotting against himself.

Spencer wisely played on Tony's fear of an all girl alliance, and sold Jefra out for taking voting Tony out under consideration last week.

And when Tony seemed interested in blindsiding Jefra, his house bitch Woo didn't hesitate to indicate that he was on board too. 

Sure enough, at Tribal Council Tony announced that he was upset with Jefra for plotting against him, and he put on his Immunity Idol and indicated that he was going to play it.

However, he didn't end up playing it, nor did he need to as Woo, Spencer and Tasha all ended up voting to blindside Jefra.

And that sent her back home to Kentucky where she can go back to spending her Friday nights at the local Applebee's hitting on aspiring NASCAR drivers who will never make it further than the local dirt track in Paintsville.

Given her affinity for "the races," Jefra Bland is a poor girl's version of Emily Maynard from "The Bachelor."

No comments:

Post a Comment