Monday, May 19, 2014

Blogging Survivor: Brawn vs. Brains vs. Beauty - "Trish railed on me like a frickin wild skeleton, blue eyed banshee"


This week's episode of Survivor began with Spencer confronting Woo for agreeing to vote out Tony, but going back on his word at last week's Tribal Council.

So in other words, Spencer called him out for the way he had been playing the entire game.

Woo explained that he decided to keep Tony around because he had burned so many bridges throughout the game that he felt he would be able to beat him if they went to the finals together.

Unfortunately for Woo, Tony realized that taking him to the end of the game was a losing proposition, and he was already formulating a plan to blindside Woo to "reward him" for his loyalty throughout the game.

The Reward Challenge required the competitors to dive into a mud pit, coat their bodies, and scrape the mud from their bodies and into a bucket.

In addition to revitalized skin, whoever collected the most mud after ten minutes also received a pizza that was to be delivered to them back at camp, which was actually a pretty nice reward since it wasn't from Papa John's.

Unfortunately this challenge came a few weeks too late, because instead of the hot girls who had already been voted off getting all lathered up in mud, the only girls left to watch were Trisha Hagerty and Kass McQuillen.

When Tony ended up winning, Jeff Probst revealed that he also got to choose one additional player to join him for pizza, which Tony announced by shouting, "Anorexia, come on over," in reference to Trish, who may or may not have "turned" two weeks ago.

Worse yet, Tony turned out to be one of those east coast idiots who fold their pizza slices in half before eating them, because clearly when you take a bite of pizza you want to taste as much dough as possible.

Despite his ties to Woo, Tony told Kass that he wanted to take her to the finals, mainly because he knew that she and Trish were the only players he could beat.

However, despite what seemed to be a free pass to the finals from one of her biggest enemies, Kass for some reason decided to inform Woo of that plan and put Tony on the spot.

In the process, Kass proudly dubbed herself "Chaos Kass," not realizing that her chaos was causing a butterfly effect that was likely fucking up her only chance to win the game, since the only way anyone on the Jury would possibly vote for her was if she was up against two completely unlikable people in the final, like Tony and Trish.

Woo finally realized that Tony was planning to try and blindside him, and seemed receptive to Kass and Spencer's offer to form a final three alliance.

However, when they discussed voting Trish out first since they knew Tony had at least one Idol, Trish just happened to be walking by and overheard Kass say, "Trish is a go."

Sure enough, the thought that Kass might have a hand in her possible demise caused Trish to lose her shit.

"(That) really infuriated me, because I've been sitting here trying to be nice to Kass this entire time, which has really been exhausting for me, but I can tell you this, she'll be sorry she did that."

The Immunity Challenge required the competitors to untangle a rope to release a key, use rungs to build a ladder and stairway, and then climb up and solve a slide puzzle.

Spencer ended up erasing a huge lead that Tony had when he started his slide puzzle and ended up winning Immunity.

After the Immunity Challenge, Trish proclaimed, "Spencer, I think you're a great guy, I just have a quick question for Kass, 'Do you think I'm stupid?'"

That turned out to be a rhetorical question, as Spencer's win essentially eliminated Trish from the game considering that Tony had an Idol, and Trish was never going to be smart enough to put together a plan to flip on him even if he didn't play it.

But that didn't stop Trish from telling Kass how much better she was than her. "You don't want to argue with me Kass, and let me tell you something, I'd rip you apart in 30-seconds."

Fortunately, Tony of all people interrupted Trish and pulled her aside, but not before telling Kass that she was a Llama.

Surprisingly, Kass remained relatively calm throughout all of her granma - llama drama with Trish.

Scrambling, Tony asked Trish and Woo if they were questioning his integrity, and he pretty much got his answer when Woo asked, "All I want to know is did you promise (Kass) on your wife and child?"

And that's when Woo finally seemed to realize that it might be time to make a move and vote Trish out.

However, Tony was trying to listen in and saw Woo shake hands on making a deal with Spencer.

When he pulled him aside to as "WTF?", Woo immediately indicated that he still wasn't sure what he was going to do.

And while that type of scene is usually included just to build some drama heading into the final scene, with Woo waffling more than one of the Clintons, all bets were off.

At Tribal Council, Kass told on Trish for verbally attacking her by saying, "The moment we got back, Trish railed on me like a frickin wild skeleton blue eyed banshee."

"When Jeff asked, What was that again," Kass said I don't even know what  I said, but I'm sure it was accurate."

Of course Kass was obviously pretty proud of that line since it was the second time that she had used it this episode in referring to Trish's appearance.

Kass went on to declare, "I didn't predict that psycho bitch would come out at me today," before she called Tony out for playing multiple sides.

That didn't sit well with Tony, but all he could muster up to say was, "She just sits there with the same grin on her face...Look, there it is," to which Kass added, "Well you're making an ass of yourself."

Woo described his tribemates as a family, referring to himself as their foreign exchange student.

No more yankey my wankey, Woo needs beer!

Before the vote, Tony announced his plans to play one of his two Idols, and he displayed them both.

Spencer feigned surprise, saying that he had planned to vote for Tony, but that his Idol had "complicated things."

Tony played his regular Immunity Idol, pretentding that his other Idol that came with "special powers" allowed him to play it next week, even though this was really the final week he could play either.

Much to Trish's surprise and Kass's delight, when the final vote was read Trish was eliminated.

Trish managed to turn and say "Thank you, and good luck" as her torch was extinguished, only to have Kass flip her the bird.

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