Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The Big Brother 15 Blog - "Being southern, its a stereotype. I have said some things that have been taken completely out of context and wrong, and I do not mean to ever come off racist"

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We returned to Big Brother this week with the season's most important HOH Competition still in progress, in part because the Jury members were also competing to return to the game, and in part because the remaining house guests had a chance to flip the house.

As the contestants balanced on a wall in attempt to be the first to catch ten baseballs the fastest without falling off, GinaMarie said, "It’s like I’m at Yankee Stadium and Derek Jeter is hittin' line drives right at my face.”

Actually, GinaMarie Zimmerman seems more like Alex Rodriguez's type, but you get the point.

With McCrae and Andy falling Amanda complained, "And now it’s all up to the babe. Thanks a lot guys, I’m not the competition winner here.”

Of course when Andy and McCrae didn't throw the HOH a few weeks a ago so Amanda could win she threw a tantrum, but then again, nobody wins when it comes to shit in the sink or spoiled little bitches.

While Jessie had a clear lead with five balls caught for the Jury Members, she lost her balance and fell off. And though that officially sealed her fate in the game, she left the house by yelling, "Fuck you Amanda, I hate you!”

With Jessie out of the game, Aaryn worried that Candice could end up returning to the house. "Candice and I have never got along. We have tried to mend bridges, but it never seems to stick.”

 And surely that had nothing to do with the racist slurs that Aaryn had directed at Candice when she was still in the house.

With Candice and Judd left to battle it out for the Jury Members, I was kind of hoping that she would've just told the intellectually challenged Judd that he'd be safe if he just dropped out to see if he figured it out.

Instead, Candice fell, officially bringing Judd back in house. "J-U-D-D Party Darty is back!"

And while Helen, the most recent house guest to get evicted told Judd about Andy's alliance with Amanda and McCrae, Judd announced, “I want to start a clean slate with everybody.” 

I always kind of figured that McCrae Olson was the catcher in his relationship with Amanda Zuckerman...And BTW, that's McCrae's leg, not a wood baseball bat.

With Judd falling after he sealed his return to the house, only the existing house guests upon entering the competition remained. While Elissa had a huge lead, she reached too far for a bar and nearly fell off, but somehow managed to grab her platform and pull herself back up.

That caused Spencer to yell, “That was bad ass! That was like Batman!”

After nearly falling, Elissa came back to win, which caused Amanda to cry because she knew that she knew that was a house guest who's nominations she'd be unable to control.

With Judd coming back into the house, he immediately aligned with Elissa.

While Aaryn tried to kiss Elissa's ass and promised she'd vote with her going forward if she'd go after Amanda and McCrae, Elissa still nominated Aaryn and McCrae, although Amanda was secretly her target via a backdoor should one of her allies win the Veto.

When GinaMarie tried to be diplomatic and complimented Elissa for her clothing after making her nominations, Amanda became furious saying, “I want to punch GinaMarie so hard with brass knuckles.”

Of course, I can't remember any point in the game where Amanda and GinaMarie were ever aligned together.

Amanda Zuckerman seems to eat whenever she gets stressed out Amanda eating while stressed...But hey, asses don't just get big without a lot of hard work.

Amanda also got pissed when Aaryn chose Judd to play in Veto for her over Andy saying, "That was not like an alliance move at all."

GinaMarie quickly consoled a distraught Aaryn, who somehow fabricated Amanda criticizing her decision to choose Judd into threatening to target her for eviction.

"I told you this a couple of fucking weeks ago, fuck that bitch...Don't let that bitch get into your head, she's a loser."

And when GinaMarie and Elissa had the audacity to talk strategy in the kitchen, Amanda took it upon herself to call them out for talking. "It's obvious they're talking about me, so I'm going to call them out on it"

That caused Elissa to laugh and spit her drink out, which is ironic, because usually the white stuff is going towards her face.

That caused Amanda and GinaMarie to get into an argument, which consisted of two loud mouth bitches from New York bragging about how big, bitchy and loud they are...Just like Ronnie and The Situation in Jersey Shore.

With Amanda crying again after her fight with GinaMarie saying, “I just completely feel defeated," The Zingbot made its annual appearance to lift her and the other house guests spirits.

The Zingbot 3000, or as Amanda Zuckerman likes to call it, her dildo.

When it came to Amanda The Zingbot said, "You can visit McCrae in Minnesota? Just mail yourself using your giant tramp stamp."

At least Amanda Zuckerman's tramp stamp tattoo will grow old and saggy along with her ass...Although her ass has a nice head start. Actually, the actors' comedy/tragedy was the tattoo artists way of secretly making fun of her fat (with "F," not a "PH") ass, which would be a classic case of an "ass-tastrophe"

The Veto Competition was a celebration of Baby Zingbot’s first birthday, where the contestants had to complete a circuit by rolling a ball up and down a ramp 250 consecutive times without letting it drop to the ground.

With Judd to busy puking to win, Amanda won her first competition of the summer when she really, really needed it to stay in the game.

Had Amanda Zuckerman not won the POV, Elissa, Judd, Spencer and GinaMarie would have back-doored her.

With Amanda winning POV, that made it Elissa's turn to cry. “I’m going to go home now. Everyone that goes against Amanda goes home every week…I hate her. She is like the grossest person in the world.”

When Elissa jokingly told Amanda that she threw the Veto Competition for her, it ended up triggering one of the most childish tirades in Big Brother history, with Amanda beginning by yelling, "You cried after I won the Veto...You cried like a little bitch!"

She then went on to say, "Little bitchy Elissa, you don’t have Helen, you don’t have anybody anymore. So keep your fucking grimace smile because that's a waste of an HOH. You fucking wasted your HOH. How does it feel? Rachel's going to be so proud of you."

Not even close to being finished, Amanda yelled, "What do Elissa and Zingbot both have in common? They’re both made of plastic, Zing!

Not willing to let it rest, Amanda proceeded to yell and bang on Elissa's HOH Room door.

"We all want to see Elissa and her big plumped up collagen injected lips, her Botox intense forehead, her fake ass extension hair. All you got is your body and your face, and you got nothin' else."

Of course, those comments probably would have been funny had not come from the girl with the worst boob job ever.

Amanda Zuckerman's boob job: Even Tara Reid is saying, 'oh shit girl!'

Then again, Amanda had to do something to counterbalance her ass.

Not realizing that the game actually required you to win a Jury Vote, Amanda began alienating the remaining players.

Judd said, “I think Amanda’s behavior shows what kind of human being she is. She’s a disgusting and vile person," while Andy went to Elissa to apologize for Amanda's behavior, although Andy was in part acting strategically hoping to keep himself from going up as a replacement nominee.

Even GinaMarie, who's made herself look like an ass all summer, said, "You know what? If she wants to rag on and make herself look like an idiot, then Amanda, the floor's all yours...Because now your making yourself look stupid."

And when Amanda used the Veto to take McCrae down from nomination by saying, "Elissa, I think you would know better than anyone, that no one comes between me and my man," it left America wondering who she meant.

Was it her boyfriend that she left back home in Florida to come on the show? The guy she's been screwing overseas? Or McCrae?

In addition to demonstrating how she'd like McCrae to pull her hair and give it to her from behind, the best thing about Amanda Zukerman hooking up with McCrae two days after she arrived in the house is that she has since told some of the girls that her doctor had just informed her that she was pregnant as she was leaving for the show, but she had a routine miscarriage when she later got her period while she was in the house.

Amanda's comment caused Elissa to quip, "Well Amanda, clever line. Rachel's probably very disappointed and insulted that someone like you would use it."

Finally feeling the repercussions of being Amanda's secret hag, Andy went up as McCrae's replacement since he was the person the next closely associated with her.

Of course, after Elissa made her choice Amanda snarked, “Sit down trash.”

After the Veto Ceremony, Amanda continued to follow Elissa around asking, "How many doctors did it take to make your face look like that?"

And if there was anyone, one single person person in the country who still liked Amanda, she went to her closest allies and yelled at them for not supporting her as she made an ass of herself as she relentlessly bullied Elissa.

"I'm the only person standing up to this bitch and everyone else is just standing in my shadows being nice, kissing her dumb ass collagen injected face." 

Spencer, who's the only dude with a big enough sack to stand up to Amanda all summer finally had enough and said, "Amanda, chill out!"

That caused Amanda to complain, "I'm pissed off that I look like the bully when this bitch assed joker faced (cunt?) gets to walk around this house like she's queen Sheba. I want to punch her in her face."

And when Andy's confrontation instinct kicked in forcing him to walk away, Amanda stopped him by scolding, "Don't walk away! You're going to listen to me bitch about Elissa, Andy, and you will be a part of it."

Sadly, all Andy could say was, "Okay," as Amanda went on to threaten, "If I see anyone talking to Elissa, that's my next target."

Spencer finally seemed to have enough of kissing up to Amanda and McCrae.

"I don't like Amanda's behavior, it's repulsive. But the fact of the matter is Amanda and McCrae have been running things for way too long, and I don't like it, I'm ready for some things to change."

That lead to the formation of a new alliance consisting of Spencer, Andy, Judd, and GinaMarie that they dubbed "The Exterminators," as Judd explained, "To get rid of rats and snakes." 

Taking her power trip just a little too far, Amanda told Aaryn that she'd likely be going home since Andy was with her first.

Of course, that pissed Aaryn off since Andy floated all summer and she did all the dirty work for Amanda and McCrae since she was the only one of them who could ever win HOH.

Aaryn finally threatened Amanda and McCrae, saying that they would not get her jury vote if they kept Andy in the game over her, reminding them, "This is a game, not friendship."

Unfortunately, Aaryn ratted Spencer out for saying that he'd target Amanda and McCrae if he won HOH next week, which all but killed her chances of getting any votes from the new "Exterminators" alliance. 

Back in the studio, Dan Gheesling, Season 10 winner, season 14 runner up, and by far the best player in Big Brother history gave Connie Chung his thoughts on this summer's game.

He first exhibited his disdain for Amanda. "She's playing the game kind of like a brat...Unlike Amanda, I never attacked people for their race, religion, personal things. Yeah I back stabbed them, but I didn't embarrass them in the process."

He also gave his thoughts on Amanda's showmance with McCrae, which people are calling McCranda. "They're not going to talk to each other one month after the show...Love clouds their vision."

That lead to other long term showmances being revisited, such as Rachel (sadly, her herpes still haven't cleared up) and Brendon, Dani and Dominic (he wasn't gay?) and Jeff and Jordan (because the most homophobic summer in Big Brother history wouldn't be complete without a visit from the original Big Brother homophobe, Jeff Shroeder).

Rachel Reilly and her herpes actually seem happy.

Surprisingly, while Rachel and Brendon and Dani and Dominic are both married, Jeff and Jordan still aren't even engaged, even though he comes on the show every summer talking about how close he is to popping the question.

Speaking for Jordan as her legal guardian, Jeff indicated that he thought McCrae and Amanda might work out because "opposites attract." Of course, Jeff would know first hand since he's homophobic and Jordan's stupid.

And while Jordan didn't explain while she's still with Jeff even though he hasn't proposed to her in their five year relationship, she did explain that in the house their relationship just "involved," which is apparently retard for "evolved." 

At the live eviction, Amanda said she's apologized to Elissa and made amends, although Elissa sure did seem to tip toe around her response.

As usual, Julie made an especially bad joke, and GinaMarie acted like a black person at a movie theater or comedy show...Making her racism towards Candice, who was raised by white folk, especially ironic.

And when Julie congratulated Spencer for not being on the block and asked him a question, he replied, "I'd like to thank you for asking me a question by the way, it's only been 10 weeks."

Andy's pre-eviction speech consisted pretty much of everything he could have ever hoped to say in the event he was given a free mic for thirty seconds on national TV. "Goodnight, good luck, and I love you Anderson Cooper."

Fortunately, Andy's new "Exterminator" alliance stayed true to their plans, and Aaryn was evicted 5-0, which had to leave Amanda wondering why it was 5-0 instead of 3-2.

I have to say, I'm really curious to see what side Andy picks to play with next week, but I guess he won't even know until the new HOH is crowned.

Upon her eviction, Aaryn walked into the studio to a chorus of boos and sneers.

Fortunately, Julie Chen did not let her off the hook for her racist remarks during the game.

"In the early days of the game, you said some pretty harsh things about your fellow housemates. Amanda even tried to warn you, give you heads up that some of your words, others were interpreting as being racist."

Sadly, or fortunately depending on your point of view (Sad if you're Aaryn's mom, fortunately if you write a Big Brother blog), Aaryn's best defense for her actions was that she's "Southern."

"Being southern, its a stereotype. I have said some things that have been taken completely out of context and wrong, and I do not mean to ever come off racist (as the crowd sneered)."

And while everyone knows that all Southern people are racist, that's still not an excuse.

The Zingbot probably put it best when he said, "Aaryn, some people say you were acting mean and nasty at the beginning of this game. But I disagree, that wasn’t acting."

With Julie reads back the quotes to Aaryn that she said about Candice (black), Helen (Asian) and Andy (gay):
"Be careful what you say in the dark, might not be able to see the bitch."
"Shut up, go make some rice."
"Nobody's going to vote for whoever that queer puts up."
Aaryn had the audacity to start to deny making those comments...That is, before she finally realized that she was being filmed all summer.

When asked if she could see how her comments could be interpreted to come across racist and homophobe, Aaryn acknowledged, "I do," but then said, "I do not remember saying those things, and that was not meant to be serious," as the crowd laughed and booed." 

Of course, if Aaryn couldn't remember making those comments, then how can she confidently state that they were "not meant to be serious"?

 Realizing that her isolated little pageant life that mommy arranges is all but over in light of her racist and homophobic behavior on national TV, Aaryn drank nail polish remover out of the bottle to try and end it all.

When Julie asked, "Has the game taught you anything?" Aaryn said "I feel like a completely different person leaving the house...I feel like in Texas like we say things, sometimes we joke and we don't mean it, and I really feel bad that this is how it's being seen."

Hoping that her years of making pageant speeches paid off, Aaryn went on to say:
"Andy and I are great friends, Candice and I are great friends (which is funny because just a day or two earlier she mentioned how she was never able to mend her relationship with Candice), I love Helen more than anything and that hurts me that I would say something like that."

The HOH Competition required the contestants to dress up in bunny costumes with the legs lied together and pick up egg and maneuver through HOH finger maize, with first to put a dozen in their basket wins.

It was also revealed that there would be a punishment for the contestants with fewest eggs, which America voted as wearing a chicken suit for 48 hours.

And while McCrae had spent all summer working on his finger dexterity with Amanda, he seemed to be struggling as the episode left off, while GinaMarie and Andy seemed to be pulling away from the pack.

Even better, Connie Chung revealed that next week would be the summer second double eviction week, which should leave the contestants scrambling.

Big Brother 15 Power Ratings - Each week I'm going rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after week nine:

7. Rachel Reilly's Sister - When told that Aaryn wants to use the money (if she wins Big Brother) “To get her 'racks' refinished,” Elissa was not happy, because apparently that broke the code of plastic surgery.

"I’m like if you can’t afford getting that done before coming on the show, like, come on girl, aren’t there like better things to put your money into?"

Elissa Reilly Slater and husband Brent: Not everyone can marry an old ass sugar daddy doctor who drives a Lotus to buy you boobs and a slightly less "Cathy Griffin" looking face.

Of course, Elissa's relationship was clearly all about love, not money, as evidence by her post on her wedding website.

"Brent and I met through my sister Rachel. I was visiting my sister for my birthday. Rachel had to work so she suggested I meet one of her friends (Brent) while she finished up work. We completely hit it off and have been together ever since!"

6. Spencer Clawson - When Spencer brought up the question on Big Brother After Dark (I think about Candice), "Is she mulatto?" Aaryn, thinking that she's right as usual, interjected her two cents by pronouncing, "That is a term for slaves and their owners." Of course, she was promptly shot down by her fellow house guests.

5. GinaMarie Zimmerman - GinaMarie was highly critical of Amanda's less than lady like tendencies. “I don’t even like to walk around with my ass hanging out of my bathing suit. Like you don’t see me walking around in booty shorts, or hanging out with my underwear out.”

Yup, no ass hanging out from her bathing suit, no booty shorts, and no underwear hanging out...GinaMarie Zimmerman is pretty much the epitome of a classy chick.

Gina Marie also explained why she doesn’t drink. “I wanna know that I have control over myself and the words that come out of my mouth…I don’t want to see myself in a bad way that something else controls me but myself.” So that makes it official, GinaMarie is racist.

4. Judd Doughtery -I think that Judd will be the key swing between the two sides of the house. Now if can only realize that he might be able to do some damage now that he has returned to the game.

3. Amanda Zuckerman

2. Andy Herren - "I think there’s a ghost in the BB house. It has a high pitch wail, it’s pasty white, and it loves to float. Oh wait, that's just Andy. Zing!"

That struck a nerve with Andy. "Maybe I cry a lot , whatever, and I was born with pale skin, but the fact that the Zingbot calls me a floater enrages me."

 My favorite Andy moment came on Big Brother After Dark, when he got the standard warning form the Big Brother voice that cast members get whenever they talk about the show. “Andy, You are not allowed to talk about production.” However, when Andy kept talking, the voice got a little hostile for the first time that I've ever heard when it said, “I said to knock it off.”

Sure enough, that caused Andy to blush to a fabulous beat red.

1. McCrae Olson - "McCrae, I finally understand why you’re always wearing shorts, because Amanda wears the pants. Zing!"

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