Sunday, August 18, 2013

Blogging Big Brother 15 - "I’m just trying to be cool and you’re snapping like a little Chihuahua, mommy"

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This week's episodes began with McCrae in tears after the house voted to evict his closest friend, Judd. “I didn’t think I’d care about these people, but I’m a big woosie I guess.”

The HOH Competition required the contestants to square off one-on-one and balance a "cherry" (a ball) down a curved board and drop it into a "banana split" (a cup) the fastest without the ball falling off the edge. 

With McCrae squaring off against his girlfriend, Amanda threatened, "McCrae better let me win this challenge or we’ll be banana splitting up."

Sure enough, Amanda lost to McCrae, who didn't even appear to take the competition seriously.

And even though Andy secured HOH for their alliance by defeating McCrae in the finals, Amanda threw a tantrum at McCrae because he didn't let her win...And well, she really, really wanted to win for a change.

Of course, Amanda failed to grasp the concept that it doesn't make you a winner if you get your boyfriend to throw a competition in your favor, it just makes you a spoiled little bitch. 

After Amanda literally stopped crying put on her big girl panties, she made a Final Four deal with Aaryn, Andy and McCrae that they dubbed "3AM."

With Andy tipping Amanda and McRae off that Helen was sending out feelers to backdoor them, McCrae and Andy made fake Final Three alliance with Helen at Amanda’s suggestion.

That caused Helen to gush, “McCrae has finally woken up…If he wants to win this game, he needs to cut Amanda loose.”

Still holding a personal grudge towards Jessie after their fight last week, Amanda lobbied against her arguing that she had to go now because “she wants to make a big move.”

In actuality, the closest Jessie Kowalski came to making a "big move" was nearly flashing America her goods while adjusting her panties on Big Brother After Dark.
Andy correctly guessed that the Veto Competition would be the summer's annual counting competition.

With the contestants having to guess the number of items on display and either fold, or stay and risk elimination if their guess was the furthest away, Amanda put together a plan for everyone but Helen to fold in order to keep her trust and knock Jessie out.

While brilliant in theory, Amanda ignored one important variable, the fact that Spencer was not part of her alliance and that he was competing to get himself off of the nomination block.

Sure enough, Spencer wasn't having any part of Amanda's plan. “They want me to throw a Veto Competition the week I’m on the block? What do they think, that I’m some kind of rube?”

And when Spencer elected to play and knocked Helen out, Spencer said, "Oops! I can hear Amanda saying 'there goes the plan.'"

With the first person guessing closest to the actual amount the most number of times without being eliminated winning the POV, the competition came down to the final round.

And with the POV on the line for one final guess, Elissa folded....Even though there were no more rounds to wait for.

However, Andy was still able to win the Veto over Spencer, who the "3AM" alliance immediately contemplated getting rid of over Jessie because they couldn't manipulate him.

As usual, Amanda took things personally even though Spencer was on the block and had no reason to trust her.

"Spencer messing up my strategy for the Veto really makes me mad. It was a glorious, glorious plan."

Jessie and Helen tried to flip Andy and get him to put Amanda up, not realizing that he was Amanda's closest ally aside this side of McCrae's penis.

With Jessie doing her best to dig her own grave, Spencer made a huge mistake at the Veto Ceremony by telling Andy, “You haven’t done anything intelligent all week, and I don’t expect you to start now.”

Sure enough, Andy didn’t use Veto, although the "3AM" alliance had considered backdooring Helen. 

Jessie confronted Helen for passive aggressively throwing her under the bus in front of the house by implying that she might have been a rat.

And when Helen told Jessie that she was upset at her because she tried to get Amanda out, Jessie lost her shit, and rightfully so since Helen had been working just as hard as she was to get Amanda out.

That caused Jessie to go straight to Amanda and admit that she was targeted her...Along with Helen and Elissa.

That in turn prompted Amanda to call a house meeting, where Helen denied any plan to get Amanda out.

After listening in on Jessie confronting Helen in private, Andy said, “Jessie is absolutely right, Helen has come to me about getting Amanda out of the house.”

With turnabout being fair play, Jessie listened in and heard the "3AM" alliance laughing about how their plan was to evict her even though they had been telling her she was safe.

Jessie then called Andy out by saying, “I know everything now. I was listening through the wall. I’m going to tell everybody.”

A panicked Andy asked, “What did you hear?" That caused Jessie to snark, “What do you think I heard Andy? Take a guess.”

Jessie announced that her plan was “To blow everybody’s shit out of the water this week. So you all sit back and just watch the show,” and she started by telling GinaMarie that Aaryn talked shit about her "all the time."

GinaMarie let Aaryn know Jessie had said that, but told her that she was cool with it. However, not knowing how to react to getting caught, Aaryn's natural instincts kicked in and she snapped at GinaMarie.

“Just don’t tell me not to be upset when somebody brings my name up like that…I’m not going to sit here and fucking let you talk to me like that.”

Trying to calm her down, GinaMarie responded by saying “I’m cool, mommy, I’m cool. I’m just sitting here relaxing…If  you want to bring it up to her and start a fight, go ahead."

However, that had the opposite affect. “I don’t know why you’re still talking…You’re annoying right now.”

That's when GinaMarie finally lost it. "You better check yourself  again...C’mon Aaryn, bring it Aaryn!"

And when GinaMarie followed her down stairs to antagonize her, Aaryn screamed, “Leave me the fuck alone!”

When GinaMarie told her, “You’re yelling like a psychopath, again,” Aaryn asked, “Again?” Perhaps realizing for the first time that she had been making herself look like an ass all summer.

When GinaMarie decided to wake the entire house up the entire house up to weigh in on their fight, a more than pleased Jessie jumped up and exclaimed, "I’m awake," raising her hand and hopping up and down.

A dumbfounded Aaryn complained, “Like, I don’t even know what’s happening right now."

And when GinaMarie brought the entire house up to the HOH Room, Aaryn yelled at her, “Why are we still talking about this?”

GinaMarie responded in true confusing GinaMarie fashion. "I’m just trying to be cool and you’re snapping like a little Chihuahua, mommy."

And while I'm not entirely sure that GinaMarie ever explained to the house why they were fighting in the first place to make Aaryn look bad, it at least made for some good drama.

Despite her best efforts to stir up the house, Jessie was still voted out 6-0, probably because she never really put the information she had on Helen, Aaryn or Andy to good use strategic use.

Sure enough, Andy, who cries at evictions like he cries at weddings, teared up when Jessie left the house, and I don't think he even liked her.

Upon her exit interview Jessie bemoaned. “I came in expecting a buddy, a friend or even a showmance, and it didn’t work out,” which is precisely why she's an single and unemployed dog mom back home in Texas. 

The HOH Competition required the contestants to go head-to-head and determine whether a song was describing a past HOH, Have/Have-Not or Veto Competition the fastest.

Aaryn ended up winning over Amanda, giving Aaryn her third HOH of the summer.

Connie Chung then announced to America, but not the houseguests, that one of the Jury members would be returning to the game next Thursday based upon the results of a yet to be played competition, which is sure to make things interesting.

Big Brother 15 Power Ratings - Each week I'm going rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after the seventh week:

8. GinaMarie Zimmerman - Is it just me, or does GinaMarie just an over the top parody of the character "Magda" in Something about Mary?

7. Spencer Clawson - Spencer claims he wrote a screen play in college that he titled "Knocked Up" that his professor stole the idea for and sold to Hollywood.

6. Aaryn Gries - Aaryn's social game is so bad that Andy, Spencer and McCrae made a suicide pact in the event that Aaryn or GinaMarie were to vote them out of the house.

5. Rachel Reilly's Sister - As a dietitian, Elissa seems convinced that GinaMarie has an eating disorder.

If GinaMarie Zimmerman does have an eating disorder, somebody forgot to tell her about the part where she's supposed to make herself throw up.

4. Helen Kim - Plotting against her own alliance with people who are not truly loyal to her, Helen may have schemed her ticket right out of the game.

3. Amanda Zuckerman - When McCrae danced around after being named the host of the Veto Competition Amanda sarcastically complained, “That’s not embarrassing.”

McCrae Olson
Of course, Amanda Zuckerman's the girl who's flashed boobs and walks around house in panties three sizes to small for her giant ass.

2. Andy Herren - Perhaps getting a little too cocky for the first time in his life, Andy playfully asked, "It's time for everyone's favorite game, what are Candice and Judd doing right now?" And while Andy's done a pretty good job of predicting the various twists and sequence of competitions this summer, he seemed completely unaware that they were preparing to compete in an event to get back into the house.

1. McCrae Olson - On Big Brother After Dark McCrae and Amanda finally got "Big Brother married."

...With Andy Herren presiding and reading inappropriate Bible versus while dressed as a vampire.

"54 days ago when we walked into the Big Brother house a couple met. And when they met, who knew that true love was going to spark...Sadly, that romance was cut short after 13 days when David was evicted. After that, the second best couple in the house started canoodling."

Andy concluded the ceremony by asking, "Amanda do you take McCrae to be your lawfully wedded spouse? And if you don't, the entire house will be coming after you next week."

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