Thursday, October 20, 2011

NFL Picks - Week 7: Because Jay Cutler does not like Mike Martz

Week 6 NFL Picks: 6-4-2
NFL results season to date: 47-36-6

Week 6 College Football results: 2-2
College Football results season to date:11-14

Week 7 NFL Picks (winners in parentheses):

Chicago vs. Tampa Bay (Tampa Bay, home, +1) Now who would have ever guessed that Jay Cutler and Mike Martz would clash? Seriously, when you get the worst play caller in the league sending in plays to the quarterback with the worst body language in the league, would you expect anything less than a disapproving head-shake from Cutler before he yelled to the sidelines, "TELL MARTZ I SAY FUCK HIM!" I have a feeling that things in Chicago are not going to end well this year.
 I feel like Jay Cutler is the Spalding from the movie Caddyshack to Mike Martz's Judge Smails... "YOU WILL TAKE MY PLAY AND LIKE IT!"

Carolina vs. Washington (Washington, road, +3) Carolina is finally favored in a game, which is throwing off my whole betting strategy of taking the Panthers whenever they get points. I think as long as John Beck plays error free football, the Pigskins should be able to successfully run against the Panthers defense and cover the spread.
San Diego vs. New York Jets (San Diego, road, -2) The Jets just aren't getting it done on defense anymore. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure that Rex Ryan awoke Norv Turner from his annual first half coma when he said that he would have won a couple of Super Bowls by now had he been hired by the Chargers instead of Turner.  
Cleveland vs. Seattle (Seattle, road, +3) I really don't know where to go with this one. If you are betting on this game, you might have a gambling problem. 
Tennessee vs. Houston (Houston, road, +3) Andre Johnson probably won't be back for the Texans, so neither quarterback will have their favorite target to throw to. Right now, I guess I like the Texans running game better than the Titans running game, with everything else being fairly equal.
Miami vs. Denver (Denver, road, +1.5) I think Tim Tebow is terrible, and has little shot at being successful in the NFL. With that being said, could there be a better scenario for him than getting his first start of the season against the hapless Dolphins? This is a no win situation for the Broncos front office. It's pretty clear that John Elway and John Fox have no desire to move forward with Tebow as their quarterback of the future. If I was the Broncos front office, I think I would have saved Tebow's first start until the Detroit game in week 8, let him get his ass kicked by their defensive line and throw 4 interceptions, and then declare that the kid just doesn't fit their system. Now, if he plays remotely well against a team that has already given up on their season, it will only fuel the flame for the crazy Tebow zealots out there. And much like he did in the Josh McDaniel era, GM Brian Xander is not only just standing around letting this happen, but he just traded their best receiver (for the second time in 2 years) for a late round draft pick that they'll never get equal value for.
Detroit vs. Atlanta (Atlanta, road, +3.5) While I do look for the Lions to rebound after last week's controversial loss to the 49ers, the Falcons are ideally suited to neutralize the Lions aggressive defensive line with trap plays to a powerful interior running game.

Jim Schwartz IS an American Badass!
Oakland vs. Kansas City (Oakland, home, -4.5) Kansas City has temporarily righted their ship in their last two games, but those games were against the Vikings and the Colts, two of the worst teams in the league. Unless Carson Palmer comes out and turns the ball over 3 times, which is entirely possible, the Raiders should be able to coast by on their running game. By the way, while Al Davis may have passed, it's good to see that his legacy lives on, with the Raiders organization giving up not one, but potentially TWO first round picks for a quarterback who simply can't play in the NFL anymore. Hell, the Vikings probably would have paid the Raiders to take Donovan McNabb off their hands, and Carson Palmer is no better McNabb is at this point in his career.
Pittsburgh vs. Arizona (Pittsburgh, road, -3.5) Pittsburgh travels to Arizona to take on "Iron City Light," with ex-Steeler coordinator Kent Wisenhunt running the show for the Cardinals. Unfortunately, the Cardinals have no defense and no running game, but at least they're similar to the Steelers in that they have no offensive line.  
Dallas vs. St. Louis (St. Louis, road, +13) Dallas isn't the type of team that I feel comfortable laying 13 points to anybody, but with A.J. Feeley looking more and more like he'll be leading Josh McDaniel's ridiculously complex offense, I guess I'll have to gamble on Tony Romo, which is kind of like sleeping a stripper...when you wake up in the morning your money's gone and you feel a little dumber about your life decisions, but at least you can blame the first time on having had too much to drink.
Green Bay vs. Minnesota (Green Bay, road, -9) This one's going to be a blowout. Minnesota has no way of stopping the Packers on defense, and their offense will be unable to keep up with rookie quarterback Christian Ponder making his first NFL start.
New Orleans vs. Indianapolis (Indianapolis, road, +14) The Colts continue to lose, but the also continue to keep things just close enough. This  is the classic match-up of a team that you never expect to cover but always does, playing against a team that you always expect to cover but never does.

Baltimore vs. Jacksonville (Baltimore, road, -8) There is less excitement and a smaller crowd predicted for Monday Night Football in Jacksonville than there is for Tim Tebow's first start of the year in Miami.

College Football's Top Games of the Week:

Wisconsin vs. Michigan State (Michigan State, home, +8) The Badgers have struggled over the past decade at Michigan State. This year the Badgers play their first true road game of the year in East Lansing in a rare night game for Sparty. There's a reason that the MSU administration does not like to play night games unless they are on being paid to be on national TV, and let's just say that reason involves alcohol. Throw in a 9 a.m. start with ESPN's College Gameday in town, and the Spartan home crowd should be drunk and hostile.
Stanford vs. Washington (Washington, road, +21) The Huskies are a better team without first round draft pick Jake Locker. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if they pulled the upset here.
LSU vs. Auburn (Auburn, road, +21) It's sad how LSU is a prime National Title Contender on paper this year, yet their players are abusing their status and running amok on campus instead of concentrating on playing football. Auburn is not a great team this year, but they should benefit from the distractions going on in Baton Rouge this week that lead to the suspension of several high profile Tiger players. 
Alabama vs. Tennessee (Tennessee, road, +29.5) With Lane Kiffin gone, Alabama has no reason to run up the score in a rivalry game where the underdog Volunteers are getting an amazing 29.5 points.
Notre Dame vs. USC (USC, road, +8.5) Notre Dame is actually a pretty good football team now that they have made the decision to go with Tommy Rees at quarterback, although USC looks like they are slowly starting to gel.

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