Blogging Survivor - South Pacific: "Papa Bear came waltzing into camp with this big smile on his face and an XL bulge in his underpants"

After Christine was voted out by her Savaii Tribe, she reluctantly went to Redemption Island with a case of bitter bitch face. She was then forced to engage in an elimination challenge against Semhar, which consisted of seeing who could balance a miniature totem on top of a long pole the longest, with additional lengths of pole being added as the competition progressed.

Instead of going the religious route and saying a prayer before the challenge began, Semhar got into her zone by reciting some spoken word, which seemed a bit more erotic than motivational, until I remembered that the challenge consisted of holding onto a big pole. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for this man, I would even take off my clothes and give him a private show to the tunes of his soul."

Semhar's unique personality made a little more sense after she was eliminated and said, "When my tribe sent me to Redemption Island, it brought back a lot of memories from my past...I felt like I've been abandoned so many times in my life. I just don't understand how people can be so cruel."

So there we have it, Semhar has daddy issues. Personally, I don't think she came on Survivor with any intention of sticking around very long. Instead, I think she just wanted to parlay her time in the game into a national tour performing her spoken word in coffee shops or dancing in strip clubs. Whichever route she chooses to go with, I think she got exactly what she hoped for out of the game.

After Russell's Nephew got exposed at Tribal Council for going behind the back of his alliance, he tried to come clean and apologize. "This morning God was chastising me big time. He was not pleased with me. I was not pleased with me, and I know my family would not be pleased with me. I lied blatantly." Then, like a page of out of a comic book where a Super Hero reveals his secret identity, "Russell's Nephew" took off his shirt and showed the tattoos that exposed him as Russell's nephew. Coach called this move a "mistake" saying, "He needed it off his chest, and that shows (his) age a little bit."

Ozzy, having already found the hidden Immunity Idol without even having a clue, decided to share that secret with Keith in order to earn his trust. That move may have turned out to be a mistake, as Keith immediately told country music singer Whitney, which could end up hurting Ozzy in the long run.

After Russell's Nephew came clean about his lies and true identity, members of the Upolu Tribe began to question him. Sophie said, "I think (Russell's Nephew) right now is just really torn between following whatever crazy religious beliefs he has...and at the same time his bloodline is a devious jerk." Mikayla confronted Russell's Nephew as to why he had targeted her when she had done nothing to provoke his wrath. This caught Russell's Nephew off guard, as he could only say that he targeted her because he didn't like her, instead of admitting that his not so hidden lust for her was causing him internal conflict regarding his already rock marriage back home.

Russell's Nephew seemed furious about getting called out by a girl, and he tried to take control of the matter by calling a tribe meeting where he inexplicably tried to call out Mikayla by yelling, "I don't want no more of this from everybody, just repeat that for me - keep me out of the drama - there you go!" And just like that, after all of his apologies and bible quotes, his alter ego "Pequeno Loco" returned! I'm just hoping that Upolu votes both the both of them out in consecutive weeks, just so we can see how Russell's Nephew handles a night alone with Mikayla on what might have to be re-named Rape-demption Island. Let's get an order for extra security in...just in case.

Clearly, in Russell's Nephew's mind, Mikayla is asking for it...and he may have not even be aware of her Playboy pics.

After blowing his cool in front of the tribe, Russell's Nephew once again began to feel apologetic (seriously, this guy is like a living, walking, breathing version of the domestic violence cycle). "I was told by my Paw-Paw...do not lose your temper...being a Christian, I shouldn't have failed...I struggle every day, this is like a constant battle for me."

Constant battle? The Hantz family is more like a case study in being from the South. We have religion, bad tattoos, aggression towards assertive women, and advice from Paw-Paws." Put Russell and his Nephew on an All-Star show, throw in a reward challenge that gives the winners a "seafood" buffet with the choices of catfish, catfish or bass, and we got ourselves Survivor - Dixie, which would obviously be held in some uninhabitable state, like Alabama or Arkansas.

The Immunity Challenge also included a reward for the winning tribe, which took the form of coffee, tea, sugar, milk, chocolate, cookies and a new clue for the hidden Immunity Idol. Each tribe was forced to let out slack for a rope that was attached to a teammate who had to navigate a floating bridge before getting "reeled back in." Once that stage was complete, the tribes had to throw grappling hooks to snag bags and pull them up a wall in order to roll out their tribal banners to secure the win. Based upon Coach's strong skills with the grappling hook, Upolu earned immunity and the reward.

Savaii seemed to agree that either Papa Bear or Cochran needed to be voted out. Papa Bear thinking that Cochran was the obvious target said, "He just is the nerdy kid no one hung out with in school - sorry John." When he realized that he might by the one on the verge of elimination, Papa Bear stepped up his efforts at the last minute to find the hidden Immunity Idol (which Ozzy had already found). This caused Elyse to observe, "Papa Bear goes running dead sprint from the water to the woods, and Papa Bear doesn't sprint ever."

While in the woods, a desperate Papa Bear forged a fake Immunity Idol, which he hoped he could use to trick his tribe into voting for Cochran. Cochran was fully aware of his strategy, as he stated, "About five minutes later Papa Bear comes waltzing into camp with this big smile on his face and an extra large bulge in his underpants...He clearly wants us to think he has the idol."

And here I was, certain that Papa Bear was just excited because he saw Cochran strip down to his underwear...like I was.

At Tribal Council Papa Bear was voted out and sent to Redemption Island with Christine, causing Cochran to say, "You're a sweetheart, but you make me anxious, and I don't need any more anxiety in my life." Poor guy, let's just hope that he never breaks up with his mom and gets a real girlfriend.