Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "I get to give her her own personal spa day."

This week's episode began with Jon and Jaclyn shocked after Natalie changed her vote at Tribal Council to take out Alec instead of Keith as they all had planned.

To cover for herself, Natalie lied to her alliance and said that she thought they told her to split her vote for Alec instead of Keith, and blamed it all on a misunderstanding.

The Reward Challenge saw the competitors compete for a day at the spa by dividing into two teams and racing through a maze while belted together, filling a bucket of water to lower a gate, and then solving a puzzle.

Mistaking the first obstacle for a single man with a history of domestic abuse, Missy fell into it face first.

And while Missy, Keith and Jon won day spa reward in a a very close match, Jon threw everyone off when he asked, "Did I say I was going to go?

And when I said everyone, I meant his girlfriend Jaclyn, who was none too pleased when Jon announced that he was giving his reward up to Baylor under he rationale that she needed a mother-daughter experience with Missy.

I'm not saying that Jaclyn Schultz is high maintenance...but she is. 

Meanwhile, Natalie agreed to go to Exile Island, leaving Jon and Jaclyn all alone to fight at camp, almost as if they were still back home in Michigan.

Realizing that Jaclyn was pissed, Jon tried to make blow jobs out lemons of by saying, "I get to give her her own personal spa day," which is usually only the case when your girlfriend isn't pissed at you...and you bought her some really expensive jewelry.

While she was at the Spa, Missy's ankle began to swell up, which was odd considering that she hit her head during the Reward Challenge, but we'll just blame that confusion on a concussion.

The Immunity Challenge began with Natalie returning from Exile Island exhausted and crying, Missy struggling with her painful ankle and crying, and Jaclyn crying just because she's Jaclyn.

Jeff Probst decided to have medical take a look at Missy's ankle before the challenge. Unfortunately, the Survivor medical staff consists of little more than witch doctors and chiropractors, so there was little that they could come up with aside from a sprained ankle and a misaligned spine.

And while that diagnosis allowed Missy to stay in the game, everyone began crying...Mainly because that diagnosis allowed Missy to stay in the game.

The Immunity Challenge itself had the players stand on pegs while reaching up with town hands and using a rope to balance a vase and keeping it from falling.

Jon ended up losing to Natalie in the finals, giving her both Immunity and a guaranteed spot in the final five.

And while Jon thought he was safe despite Natalie's win, her secret plan was to blindside him. However, Missy was reluctant to go along with Natalie, as she didn't want to betray Jon or Jaclyn.

Tribal Council began with Keith lobbying the Alliance of Five to split up before Jeff Probst could even ask anyone a question, as he said, "I'm trying" in response to Jeff Probst's inquiry about shaking up the game.

Unfortunately, Jaclyn jinxed everything for Jon when she said, "All I can say is that I feel strong in the five, so I don't think Jon and I are going anywhere," as the Jury and Baylor looked on in amazement at her stupidity.

Every guy has to pay a price for having a hot girlfriend, and he price Jon Misch had to pay was not winning Survivor...But hey, what girl isn't worth a million dollars? 

Equally naive, Jon even admitted out loud that he'd been thinking about his final two speech quite a bit.

Sure enough, Jon decided not to play his Hidden Immunity Idol, and the vote ended up tied at two between Keith, Jon and Jaclyn.

That was all Jon needed to see to know that he was fucked, and was eliminated on the re-vote.

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