Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "Did you just call her a brat? That's my kid!"

This week's episode began with Reed scrambling after Keith inadvertently outed his plan to blindside Jon at Tribal Council by blurting out to him, "Stick to the plan."

Jon, on the other hand patted himself on the back and proclaimed, "That was the best blindside sniff out, ever!"

For a backup linebacker, Jon Misch is starting to get just a little too full of himself. 

However, Natalie and Jaclyn were not as impressed.

Natalie was pissed that Jon overlooked the fact that she was the one who told him to play his Idol at Tribal Council even though he didn't think he needed to.

Jaclyn, on the other hand, seemed pissed that Jon assumed that he would make the finals over her.

The Reward Challenge involved a series of questions about the competitors, with each contestant who correctly answered a question getting to chop one of three ropes of a fellow competitor to drop a stump on their skull and end their game.

With the winner getting a horseback ride, BBQ and brownies, it also served to show the pecking order not only among the competitors in general, but within their alliances as well.

Reed's skull was crushed first, and Keith, who also went early, said to Reed, "It shows you where we stand."

With Jon, Jaclyn, Natalie, Missy and Baylor all discussing who to cut next, Jeff told them to cut the BS and just pick who they wanted to win.

To make things easy, or boring if you were actually watching on television, they all just quit playing and agreed on Missy as the winner. Jon even volunteered to go to Exile Island, and Missy chose Baylor to go with her on the reward.

With Jaclyn left out of the reward Reed said, "We like her a lot," trying to sway her over to his alliance.  

Bu when Baylor stood up for her mom by snapping, "You like everybody Reed," Reed took things a little too far when he said, "I'm a people person Baylor, you're a brat."

That set off Missy's "Momma bear instinct," which was surprisingly absent when she married several abusive step fathers, as she replied, "Excuse me!? Did you just call her a brat? That's my kid!"

Missy then scolded Reed by saying, "Why don't you listen for once, shut your mouth," before adding, "Forget it, it's not worth it. He can't listen."

With her boyfriend Jon at Exile Island, Jaclyn spent her alone time back at camp time flirting with Alec. Meanwhile, an exhausted Jon found the Hidden Immunity Idol.

Of course, denied any impure intentions towards his buddy Jon's girlfriend...Well, kind of.

"There's like no girl I'd take on a date on Survivor, you know what I'm saying? Unless you're going to go on a date with me."

Alec went on to add, "Jaclyn is a cool chick. I like Jaclyn a lot. It's just kind of like cream cheese. You know you can't hurt many things with putting cream cheese on it."

Not every girl will let you put your cream cheese on her, but Jaclyn Schultz didn't seem to rule it out with Alec. 

However, Jaclyn was still pissed she didn't get to go on the reward, and she was egged on by Reed, Alec and Keith around camp, who all gave her an extra large bowl of rice just to kiss her ass.

The Immunity Challenge had the competitors one by one try to roll balls onto a paddle and simultaneously balance six of them at one time, with Keith winning in the end.

After returning from Exile exhausted, Jon understandably just wanted to see his girlfriend naked. Unfortunately, like most girls, Jaclyn just wanted to talk, so the two began to argue.

Trying to reach a deal to stay in the game, Keith approached Jon and Jaclyn with a proposed final three deal.

However, Jon was non-receptive and arrogantly scolded Keith by saying, "Nobody's willing to go to the final three with me, don't give me that B.S!"

That caused Jon's girlfriend, Jaclyn, to console Keith by saying, "I just got yelled at too."

However, when Natalie walked up, Jon surprisingly began winking at Keith...He also secretly indicated that he'd be willing to work with him.

For her own selfish reasons, Jaclyn went into full diva mode and stopped talking to her boyfriend Jon heading into Tribal Council, mainly because he had talked to Missy instead of her after SHE had stopped talking to him...Also, did I mention that Missy is like 60?

This is actually on e of those rare situations where someone like Jon Misch could actually do a lot better than Jaclyn Schultz. 

Jaclyn's tantrum freaked Reed the fuck out since his game depended on Jon and herself making a decision to flip and join him.

And while Jon was understandably freaked out about Jaclyn's refusal to talk to him, he was even more concerned about who she was actually talking to.

"My big problem is that we have a Tribal Council tonight and that my girlfriend is not on the same page as I am, and that refused to talk to me. Not a good time for that...That could be my only time to talk before Tribal, and Jaclyn is over there flirting with Alec."

At Tribal Council, Missy accused Alec of flirting with Jaclyn.

That caused Jon to slyly ask, "Jaclyn, would you agree with that?"

And after she just smiled and said, "I mean, I don't know," Jaclyn went on to admit that she was all butt hurt by not getting chosen by Missy to go along for the reward.

With that, Jaclyn ultimately stuck with the plan, and Reed was voted out, and Jon and Jaclyn made up after Tribal Council.

After Tribal Council, in what turned out to be a double episode, Alec was rightfully worried.

"Tribal got kind of heated tonight. Everyone thinks I'm a pig, flirt, but that is a sick joke. If I wanted to flirt with any of these girls here, I would, but I would never do that."

The week's second Reward Challenge had the players reach overhead to pin a ball against a post with a wooden spool while balancing on one foot.

Natalie kept her ball up the longest, and won reward, consisting of an overnight stay in a nice bed and room service in the form of chicken Parmesan and wine...all while at camp, and in front of everyone else.

While Natalie elected to take Jaclyn and Jon along with her, her true intention was to make Jon feel safe so she could blindside him.

Natalie didn't seem to like Jaclyn much either saying, "She's such a little punk."

At camp Natalie and Baylor wanted to blindside Jon.

Keith also wanted to target Jon and Jaclyn for his pet peeve, people who sleep to much, and I'm guessing the fact that they got to spend the entire day in a king sized bed at camp in front of him was just too much for him to take.

The Immunity Challenge required the contestants to use a rope to balance blocks that they set up on a table without knocking any over as they walked back and forth from that table to find more blocks to stack.

Jon won Immunity, which freed him up to give his Idol to Jaclyn, which was good for him since he picked up on what he called a "negative vibe" from his alliance around camp.

With Jon having won Immunity, Natalie and Baylor scrambled for a contingency plan, as they had planned on blindsiding their alliance member.

Natalie peed in Baylor's cornflakes by saying that she wanted to target Alec, with whom Baylor had flirted in what they described as a "Brother-Sister" relationship...if only the brother and sister each secretly wanted to do each other.

Baylor Wilson: Family reunions are so much better in the South.

However, Natalie peed in Baylor's cornflakes when she told her that she wanted to vote out Alec.

At Tribal Council, a rat scurried across the set, causing Natalie to scream and Alec to declare that he was hungry enough to eat it.

Alec may have got his wish, because in the end he was voted out. That left Jon and Missy looking shocked, not realizing that Natalie and Baylor had organized a shocking blindside of the second weakest player in the game.

But don't worry about Alec, as he left saying, "I didn't win, but at least I beat Drew," in reference to his brother having left earlier than he did, which was really the only thing he cared about...That is, aside from Jaclyn.

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