Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Blogging SURVIVOR: Blood vs. Water - "You're not going to break up with me, are you?"

Only getting her sense of self worth from what the men in her life think of her, Kat was terrified of how her boyfriend Hayden would receive her after her tribe voted her off last week and sent her to Redemption Island.

Arriving at Redemption Island in tears, Kat immediately asking Hayden, "Can you hug me?" She then apologized to him by saying, "I'm so sorry."

However, instead of just offering him a blow job, Kat actually seemed worried that Hayden would be upset with her, which seemed to leave Monica Culpepper confused.

With Hayden saying, "Obviously my relationship with Kat is more important than anything, even this game," Jeff Probst basically told him to put his money where his mouth was and challenged him to swap places on Redemption Island with his girlfriend.

That lead to an awkward moment, because Kat clearly wanted Hayden to switch places with her, saying, "I'm afraid I won't do well in this duel, because it's a puzzle, and I can't even spell."

While Kat Edorrson may be pretty, she's borderline mentally retarded. And while I mean that in the nicest possible way...She's a retard.

On the other hand, Hayden clearly did not want to give up his spot in the game to someone who may or may not remember even being on the show three months down the road.

And after asking Kat to consider what was best for them as a couple "long term," she agreed to let Hayden stay with Tadhana and compete in the challenge.

The Redemption Challenge required the contestants to chop a rope to release a bag of puzzle pieces, and then solve what was described as a difficult puzzle. 

While Kat had little problems chopping her rope once she realized you were supposed to to use the sharp side of the machete, she amazingly couldn't figure out how to open her bag, which was just pulled shut with a drawstring.

And while Hayden tried to help Kat by putting it in terms she could relate to by saying, "Just make the bag bigger," that was too little too late.

John ended up winning yet another challenge, with Laura M. easily defeating Kat for second place in order to stay in the game.

That sent Kat into yet another hot mess of insecurity, as she asked Hayden, "You're not going to break up with me, are you?"

Hayden did seem to feel a little guilty about not switching places with Kat saying, "Kat is a little naive sometimes and doesn't always know which way is up, and I'm the one who like, helps her. I was in a position to help her, and I didn't."

However, he quickly shifted gears and seemed to be relieved of the burden of having to play the game with a loved one. 

Tina took an interest in Vytas, but was forced to live through her daughter Katie due to her age.

"I would be honored if he took an interest in Katie because he seems like such a straight up guy. However, the guy who gets Katie is gonna have to hit her over the head and drag her into his cave, because Katie is not a very flirtatious girl. But one can dream, I'm ready for grand babies."

And if Vytas is into that whole "Larry 'Bud' Melman thing, Katie Collin's and her mother Tina just might get lucky.

Female Rupert also took a liking to Vytas saying, "Vytas is a wonderful man who can be open with his feelings."

And while Vytas was very well received by all of the ladies at Galang, he also hinted that he was using his charm to manipulate them.

"In my experience, women love a bad boy, but what they like even more than a bad boy is a newly reformed bad boy."

At the Immunity Challenge, the teams had to navigate an obstacle course while chained together and collect bags, and then assemble a set of balls and chains and successfully toss them onto a set of ladder rungs.

Meanwhile, Female Rupert did her best to show that she wasn't really female after all.

Laura B: Either that's a blurred out penis, or we have an "Ass-quatch" sighting. 

For some reason Galang had Tina toss their ball and chains over Vytas, which turned out to be a huge strategical error as she totally whiffed on a key toss that ended up giving Tyson and Tadhana the win.

And in addition to Immunity, Tadhana also won a picnic with fried chicken, macaroni and cornbread, which is also the theme of a new restaurant called, "Paula Dean's Diarrhea Factory."

After going out of his way to eat all of Tadhana's food after joining their camp, Tyson was kind enough to grant Caleb's request for some extra ice at the picnic.

"We are all equal partners in this Caleb, so you can do what ever you want. That's the way I've been approaching everything. I came to your beach and ate all your food. I'm a one man wrecking ball!"

Back at Galang, Female Rupert decided to go all Sarah Palin and tell Vytas that she and the girls were planning to vote him out. The only problem was that she forgot to clear that announcement with the other girls first.

And while Female Rupert thought that she was proving her worth to the rest of Veteran players, it only raised concerns about her potentially "going rogue" after the merge.

Monica "Oh-my-goodness! Seriously, that is the Survivor moment of all time...I'm flabbergasted! I mean, Survivor 101, don't you meat with your alliance before you make an executive decision to just tell someone that you're going home?"

Sure enough, when Vytas asked Tina if it really was his "time to go," Tina smirked and said, "I don't think so. It could be Laura B."

At Tribal Council, Vytas put his years of scamming people to get blow to good use and made his case to stay over Female Rupert by saying, "It doesn't matter how many girls you have, it matters how many trustworthy people you have."

And while Female Rupert was voted out, she still felt proud of the way she played the game, which was very poorly.

"No matter what, I think Rupert would be proud of me. I've been in his shadow for a while now."

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