Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Blogging SURVIVOR: Blood vs. Water - "I just have zero beliefs, except for magic. I believe in magic, it's awesome"

While she was spared from elimination by the Galang Tribe last week because she was so weak and not a threat, Female Rupert felt otherwise.

"Rupert gave up his game to allow me to play, I think he would be so proud of me (her voice cracking)."

Tyson decided to target Aras hoping to make a big move, and not at all because he secretly has a homosexual crush on him, which of course, is expressly forbidden by Supreme Pope of all of Utah. 

"I really do like Aras, he's a great guy, he's funny. He's a little out there on his zen type beliefs, because I just have zero beliefs, except for magic, I believe in magic, it's awesome."

Sadly, Tyson apparently gets his "beliefs" from the Mormon Church and a David Blaine video.

At Redemption Island, the challenge required the competitors to untie a series of bags attached to a balance beam without falling off, and then use the pieces inside to solve a puzzle.

Laura M. ended up winning, John finished second, and ex-NFL player Brad hit the showers for good, but not before offering his wife Monica some words of wisdom.

"I came here as a shield. Through my fault or no fault of my own, I probably became an anchor. You're free. The winds blowing, sail."

Of course, had Brad been all that wise to begin with, he would have been able to solve a fucking puzzle.

Monica bemoaned the fact that she would have to play the game all by herself, not knowing who to blow now, even though she and Brad had been in separate tribes since the show started.

"I am going to have to do this ALL, BY, MYSELF. Now that I don't have Brad anymore, to soften whatever blows...I have to think about me, that's it."

Laura decided to give the clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol to Vytas, who followed rank and threw it in the fire just like Monica had the past two weeks.

However, unlike Monica, Vytas was able to make the decision to throw the clue into the fire without Brad telling him what to do.

Jeff then announced that the days of playing against loved ones was over, and that they would switching the game up by drawing for new tribes.

Vytas and Katie went to Galang to join up with Monica, Tina, Female Rupert and Kat.

On the other side, Tyson wanted to draw his buff last to "let fate decide" where he went, and wound up on Tadhana along with Aras, Gervase, Caleb, Hayden and Ciera. 

Noting that she was the only girl on her tribe, Ciera, who got knocked up by the age of seventeen and once again in her early twenties, said, "It can either be a really great thing, or a really bad thing."

While Ciera Eastin won't be on the show long enough for us to figure out whether or not she misses her period, she did her best to let us know the results...She's pregnant. 

For some reason Hayden and Caleb decided to give up what they had learned about the clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol from John to their new tribe members.

That caused Tyson to exclaim, "Hayden and Caleb gave the clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol to ME...I don't know, stupid will be stupid."

And while that may not have been the smartest move by Hayden and Caleb, it wasn't like they just gave the clue to Tyson, they also gave it to Gervase, so Tyson might have been just a little bit full of himself...Again.

Having tasted crime and liking it after stealing coconuts while a member of the Galang Tribe, Tyson declared that his goal was to steal and eat as much of Tadhana's food as he could, proving that Mormons and Christian Scientists should never be trusted.

Tyson then acted like he was doing Tadhana a favor by saying, "After I crack a coconut and drink half of it I pass the rest around to the other five people to share. So, that's pretty generous of me to do."

And as Survivor goes, that was probably the nicest gesture in the game's history since Russell's Nephew "allowed" himself to get voted out before he could pee in the beans.

The Immunity Challenge required the new tribes to swim out in pairs, dive to release fish traps with bags of puzzle pieces, then swim to shore and solve the puzzle.

Not only did Tina (along with Female Rupert) swim back while forgetting her bag of puzzle pieces, but she and Monica blew the opportunity for a huge comeback by Galang by erroneously thinking they had solved their puzzle, only to have Jeff Probst inform them that they were wrong...Twice.

However, instead of targeting Tina for swinging and missing three times, Galang's plan was to eliminate Vytas.

That is, until Kat decided to go against the All-Girls Alliance and target Monica. You know, because that's what girls do...Like every group of girls who thought they were friends before they tried to live together in college.

And with Tina being a good narc and telling Monica that Kat was targeting her heading into Tribal Council, Kat got CALLED-THE-FUCK-OUT!

Vytas played the situation masterfully, calling Kat's question into loyalty.

And when Kat made a final plea saying, "Please stay together guys," Vytas usurped her and said, "WE will stay together," as he confidently made eye contact with all of the other girls.

With Vytas instantly earning his V-Card, Kat was voted out.

Kat Edorsson: Miami Hurricanes

And with the perfect combination of coolness and insecurity that makes guys like strippers, Kat said, "I'm worried about Hayden. I'm worried that he's going to be disappointed in me. God forbid that this does anything to our relationship, because on a 1 to 10 of coolness, I just got a negative 2."

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