Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Big Brother 15 Blog - "Were you a mega bitch in high school?"


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This week's episodes resumed with a crucial HOH Competition already in progress.

And while Andy and GinaMarie jumped off to early leads as they tried to use their fingers to manipulate eggs through a mesh wire maze, it was clear that Andy wanted no part of winning and the responsibility of making any type of meaningful decision when it came to making nominations.

With GinaMarie winning HOH, Judd and Spencer wound up having to wear chicken suits as a punishment for having the two worst performances. They also had to clean up all of the chicken shit after the competition, which actually just turned out to be Andy. 

With Elissa elated that somebody outside of the "3AM" alliance won, Amanda taunted, “I don‘t know why you‘re so happy, you just sent her best friend home, so you should wipe that smile off your face."

Of course, Amanda did not realize that GinaMarie not so secretly hated her.

“Amanda and McCrae have been puppeting Aaryn. I might be blond, and I might be cute, but my name isn’t Aaryn, it’s GinaMarie."

GinaMarie Zimmerman putting her fake hair back in...Well, at least she got her name right.

In regards to Amanda's attempt to manipulate her nominations GinaMarie said, "Amanda’s right, I should nominate two people that the majority of the house won't get upset about. Unfortunately for her, those two people are Amanda and McCrae.”

Upon getting to see GinaMarie's HOH Room Elissa proclaimed, “Oh my gosh, you got like the best stuff ever!“ At first that statement seemed odd considering she got butter and sausage, but when it was revealed that she also got a picture of Nick, things started to make sense.

Things only got better for the remaining house guests who had complained all summer about GinaMarie's toxic farts when she proclaimed, “Oh hell yeah! We got the White Castle burgers!"

GinaMarie's haul kept her occupied, even as Amanda and Elissa continued their feud in the HOH Room.

“So I got Amanda and Elissa that look like they’re going to beat the plastic out of each other. But you know what? I got my chocolate, my lingerie, and my Nick, and I’m good.”

Sure, Nick Uhas might have shared racism in common with GinaMarie Zimmerman, but that alone isn't enough to sustain a relationship...Just ask Jesse James and Sandra Bullock.

When Amanda tried to bully Ellissa by saying, “You’re alone Elissa, and you’re going up on the block tomorrow,” Elissa simply played on Amanda's insecurities as a fat girl and said, “I love Jessie. She’s gorgeous too. Her butt was hotness. I think Jessie was the only ten in this house.”

With Elissa bringing up Amanda's nemesis, Amanda could only say, “You are such a bitch! What is wrong with you?”

Wearing a chicken suit and caught between two feuding women Spencer tried to intervene saying, “Ladies, it’s uncomfortable,” although Elissa just kept on attacking Amanda, “Lets not say ladies, because this bitch over here is nothing more than a female dog.”

Trying to distinguish herself from her sister Rachel, Elissa tried to justify getting asked to be on the show.

"Don’t you realize like every one of Rachel’s people who love my sister asked me to do this show for years and years?...Like people support me because I‘m a nice person. She‘s mean and a whore and disgusting and a liar and pathetic (referring to Amanda).”

Ironically, Amanda whined that she hoped America would see Elissa for who she really was, when she was the one who ruthlessly bullied Candice, Jessie and Elissa throughout the summer.

McCrae did his best to calm Amanda down, knowing exactly what a dude needs to hear. “You know what? Sometimes you have to take it on the chin, and suck it up and smile. Like it doesn’t matter, you were the bigger man.”

Not realizing how "antagonizing" works, Amanda bitched about how Elissa wouldn't stay put and just let her lecture her."

“I’m trying not to fight with this person, but she keeps walking away from me, antagonizing me.”

McCrae said it best when he described why he didn't like Elissa Slater. "One, because I hardly knew her at all. Two, because she was a shit bag."

When Amanda tried to gain pity by complaining, “I feel like I’m high school again,” Spencer didn't miss a beat by asking her, “Were you a mega bitch in high school?”

Amanda and Elissa then went on to repeatedly tell anyone who would listen how bad of a person the other one was, not realizing that there was no need to argue since they were both right.

The remaining house guests got to compete in a luxury competition for $10,000.

Realizing that she had pissed off everyone in the house except her boyfriend, Amanda decided to take the opportunity to insult McCrae on national TV by saying, “$10,000 is huge! That’s like McCrae’s gross annual income!”

However, it was Spencer, who was still dressed in his chicken costume, who ended up winning. “Boom! $10K baby, I’m the cluckiest man alive.”


When Judd referred to his punishment by saying, "fuck, fuck, fuck," Spencer corrected him by saying, “It’s cluck, cluck, cluck bro, you can’t cuss on TV.”

Oblivious to the fact that she was GinaMarie's target, Amanda was convinced that she had convinced GinaMarie to nominate Elissa and Judd. "So maybe she’s not as dumb as we think...I feel safe, and happy, and glorious, and triumphant.”

However, not did GinaMarie nominate Amanda and McCrae, she rigged the box so Elissa got to pull the last key, letting Amanda's female rival of the week rub the fact that she was the one going on the block in her face.

Amanda Zuckerman: That’s the look of someone who just shit their pants.

And after two weeks of Amanda taunting Elissa that she had wasted her reign as HOH and that she would be going home this week, it finally hit Amanda that she was the one who would be heading home.

“I just don’t get it I guess. Ever since Elissa won HOH, it all went haywire.”

Pleased that she didn't get nominated, Elissa decided to make sure that the entire house and all of America hated her.

"My husband actually just bought, we like have a golf simulator and a mini hockey rink…Cause we bought a hockey stadium…It fits like 5,000 people."

That caused McCrae to sarcastically say, "I don't know shit about life, I don't even own an ice arena," in reference to the possibility of Elissa winning America's Favorite Player.

Elissa went on to say, “I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of in life because I’ve earned, I’ve worked hard for it. You know, I‘m a good person.”

First of all, I automatically hate anyone who has to repeatedly tell me that they're a good person. Secondly, I don’t think most people would consider fucking an old dude who has a lot of money "working hard" or "earning it."

Not only did Elissa Reilly go from being a single mom to a plastic trophy wife in a matter of months, but she also revealed that her sugar daddy Brent is building her a wellness center with all of the latest mats to teach her yoga.

Realizing defeat, Amanda apologized for making things personal and promised not to cause any drama just in case it was her last week.

She then went on to interrogate GinaMarie as to how she could possibly think that it was a smart move to try and split McCrae and herself up."

For example, when GinaMarie said, “I think it was good game move Amanda,” Amanda snapped, “I think it was a fucking stupid game move.” 

Ultimately, GinaMarie reminded Amanda how Aaryn had done all of the dirty work for McCrae and herself, and that they abandoned her when Aaryn needed them the most at last week's eviction vote.

After her conversation with GinaMarie went south, Amanda stormed out of the room and started crying.

And with all of the mirrors in the house apparently occupied, Amanda demanded accountability. "Now I’m pissed, and angry, and confused. Obviously someone’s at fault for this!"

Heading into the Veto Competition, Amanda, who had won all of one competition all summer, said,  “I don’t really care if anybody’s playing for me, because I won last week.”

The Veto Competition required the contestants to spin around fifteen times before trying to beat an opponent head to head and knock down five bowling pins the fastest.

With each new competitor getting to choose their opponent, everyone decided to pick Amanda, who successfully eliminated everyone who challenged her up until meeting McCrae in the finals.

Knocking down his final pin to win the Veto less than one second before Amanda knocked down her last pin, McCrae celebrated by puking his guts out. Amanda conceded, “If I was to lose to one person by one pin, and one second, I would want that person to be you.”

After some concern that McCrae would use the POV on Amanda, he ended up using it on himself. That caused GinaMarie to put Spencer up as her replacement nominee, which put him on the block for a Big Brother record 7th time. 

Of course, Amanda wasn't done being Amanda, as she accused GinaMarie of nominating her and McCrae to begin with because she was jealous of their relationship, which pretty much just consists of the two of them laying around in bed together all day until McCrae declares that he has to poop.

While America's favorite pizza boy McCrae was able to save himself, he had to become a man and put Amanda out of her misery, just like every guy has to do with their first bitchy girlfriend.

“It feels like I’m bringing Old Yeller out to the field and I have to put her down.” Actually, that wasn't the best analogy, because some people actually cry when Old Yeller dies.

And just when I thought I knew where everyone in the game stood, Amanda went to Elissa and pitched her an alliance deal that Elissa not only considered, but agreed to.

And when Amanda offered Elissa her jewelry as collateral, Elissa for some reason promised to give Amanda her wedding ring to hold, even though it was Amanda was asking Elissa to do her the favor...Okay, I'm confused.

And while Elissa went along with Amanda's plan and voted for Spencer to leave, that was only enough to lead to a tie vote, as Andy lied to Amanda and voted to keep Spencer instead of staying true to their "3AM" alliance.

That lead to GinaMarie being forced to cast the tie-breaking vote as HOH, and with Amanda having harassed her all week, GinaMarie matter of factly said, “Nuttin’ personal, it’s all a game move...Amanda, get to steppin”

With Amanda correctly accusing Andy of screwing her over as she left the house, Andy, being the pussy he is, nearly had a panic attack as he tried to blame the rogue vote against her on Elissa.

Hearing a chorus of boos as she entered the studio, Amanda realized her worst fear...That America didn't like her.

Sadly, Amanda said that she didn't have any real regrets about what she said while on on the show, and Julie Chen didn't specifically ask her about the racist comments she directed at Candice as she had done when Aaryn got evicted. 

Amanda did reveal that McRae was planning on moving to move to Florida after the show, which may be kind of awkward for the boyfriend that Amanda left back home when she came on the show.

Having left enough doubt in McCrae's mind that Elissa was the rat who voted out Amanda, Andy spilled the beans to Amanda that he was part of "The Exterminators" alliance in his post eviction video, obviously trying to put himself in a better position with her as a Jury member as compared to his other alliance members.

With it being a surprise Double Eviction episode, where all of the house guests correctly guessed it would be a double eviction week, the contestants moved directly to the next HOH Competition where they had to search for and retrieve two hidden bones the fastest.

With Judd winning and immediately forced to make his nominations, he not only put up GinaMarie and Elissa, but won the subsequent POV Competition and kept his nominations the same.

With Spencer finally off of the nomination block and able to vote, Connie Chung joked, “This is one of the rare occasions where Spencer is off the block and gets to vote. What will he do?”

As it turns out, Elissa was voted out 3-0, who for some reason believed that McCrae turned on his girlfriend and voted out Amanda out because "Andy looked so shocked.”

That caused Julie to say, “This is all just so confusing to you right now," which is reality TV show slang for, "Bless your heart." 

Big Brother 15 Power Ratings - Each week I'm going rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after week ten:

5. McCrae Olson - I'm curious to see how McCrae bounces back now that Amanda's gone, as he was a pretty likable guy up until the point where Amanda started making him wear her underwear.

4. GinaMarie Zimmerman - And just when you started to forget about GinaMarie's racist comments earlier in the summer, she referred to Candice last week on Big Brother After Dark by calling her a "halfer" in regards to her mixed ethnicity.

In addition to acknowledging she got a nose job, GinaMarie Zimmerman claims that she weighed 105 at her skinniest, and that she weighs 115 now...I'm either calling bullshit or "airbrush."

3. Judd Doughtery - In discussing U.S. history, Judd first asked, "Was George Washington a pilgrim?" He followed that up by asking, "Who was the President before him?"

And while I'm not exactly calling Judd and everyone from Tennessee stupid, any time that you have to be brought up to speed on a subject by GinaMarie, you might be mentally retarded or have a major flaw in your state's educational system...Especially when Judd seemed to know exactly who Andrew Jackson was.

2. Andy Herren - In talking about Aaryn's time on the show Andy asked, “The show has to be portraying her as called 'Poopy,' right? All anyone calls her is 'Poopy.'”

First of all, the show sadly did not portray Aaryn as being called "Poopy." Second of all, how the Hell did I not know that everyone called Aaryn "Poopy" on the show until now? I mean, we had a racist B list pageant queen on the show named "Poopy," and the producers decided to go in a different direction?

1. Spencer Clawson - Aside from Andy, Spencer is probably the biggest intellectual on the show, which is quite disturbing considering that when Elissa brought up her sugar daddy's hometown of Saskatchewan, Spencer had to ask, “Is that a town?”

Sadly, I think Spencer's probably more deserving of winning the show than any of the other remaining contestants.


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