Saturday, November 30, 2013

Blogging SURVIVOR: Blood vs. Water - "I don't know why I've been wearing my shirt the whole time like an idiot. Here you go ladies"




With Tina getting voted out to Exile Island last week, Ciera and Laura M. rejoiced at being the last couple left in the game, which was kind of like being proud of being the second guy in high school who knocked Ciera up.

Surprisingly, when it came to strategy, it was Ciera who ended up leading her mother even though Laura M. was actually the returning player of the two of them.

Then again, I guess I'm not all that surprised considering that Laura M. forgot to have the "birds and the bees" talk with teen mom Ciera when she was an adolescent...Twice.

Ciera Eastin: I'm pretty sure that once you get the engagement ring you're supposed to take out your nose and vag piercings.

And while Ciera acted as if she liked her mom on the surface, she definitely showed that she had some unresolved "mommy issues," as she was not so secretly plotting against her.

"If my mom needs to go in order for me to win the game, then my mom needs to go...Here's the thing, I'm okay with my mom not being in the game."

The Redemption Challenge required Aras, Vytas and Tina to use a grappling hook to retrieve a series of bags in order to get a ball that they needed to complete a table maze.

Tina made it first to the final section of the maze first, but unlike Ciera's high school boyfriend, she couldn't quite get it in the hole.

Vytas ultimately won the challenge over Tina, sending his brother Aras out of the game.

And with Vytas finally beating Aras in a challenge for the first time (not just in the game, but in life in general), Vytas was finally able to let go of the sibling rivalry he had with his more successful younger brother.

On the other hand, Aras proved once again that he was the nice brother. "I didn't win the million dollars, but we got a lot closer, and that's worth more than any money in the world."

Of course, that's a lot easier to say when you've already won a million dollars playing the game.

Meanwhile, Tyson's delusions continued to grow, and he erroneously came to the belief that he was some sort of sex symbol. "I don't know why I've been wearing my shirt the whole time like an idiot. Here you go ladies. You're welcome."

Tyson Apostol: If only homosexuality wasn't outlawed in Utah...

And while Tyson went on to declare himself "The biggest threat in the game," people really just wanted him to put some fucking pants on.


Having been given a clue to the Immunity Idol by Vytas, Katie woke up at dawn to look for it.

However, Laura M. pulled a dick move and also woke up early just to follow her and make sure she didn't find it. Of course, Tyson already had the Idol, so they both got up early for nothing.

The Immunity Challenge required the contestants to balance on platform while hanging onto to a rope that they slowly had to let out as the game went along.

In addition to Immunity, they were also competing for a reward of burgers, hot dogs, fries and soda.

And when Jeff Probst teased, "You desperately want a cheeseburger," I couldn't help but think that it was mean of him to single out the fat girl Katie like that.

Katie Collins might be the only contestant to go on Survivor and gain weight.

Monica defeated Tyson for Immunity, mainly because she had years of practice of being drug along while hanging onto her husband's dick.

Monica then unselfishly gave her entire reward of burgers, dogs, fries and soda to the rest of the tribe...You know, because that type of goodwill gesture in Survivor always ensures that nobody will vote you out the moment you don't have immunity.

Katie tried to lie to Ciera by telling her that she found the Hidden Immunity Idol. However, Ciera called her bluff by saying, "No you didn't...because I have it." Sure enough, Katie cracked right away.

However, Ciera may have inadvertently put a target on her own back, as when she told her alliance how she had tricked Katie Tyson took notice by saying, "Ciera, smarter than we thought originally, is making moves as well."

At Tribal Council Laura tried to save her own ass by selling Ciera and herself as a package deal. "One is two, you get one of us, you get two."

Laura Morrett and Ciera Eastin: Of course, that's the same pitch they use when they go out to the clubs together back in Oregon.

Of course, she didn't realize how much her own daughter was plotting against her, and Ciera looked pissed that her mom was still trying to sell them as a power couple when she was trying to break free and play her own game.

And when Laura M. was voted out, it slowly seemed to sink in that her own daughter betrayed her. "It sucks that I'm here. It sucks that my daughter had to do that. It sucks that she did that!"

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Blogging SURVIVOR: Blood vs. Water - "Fuck you, you voted out my brother"



While Vytas was surprisingly cool after his brother Aras got voted out last week, Tina was not, and she lashed out at Tyson.

"Bravo to you, that was a good move. Monica and Tyson, you won the battle, but you didn't win the war because you've got five Jury votes that you'll never get for flipping."

However, Tina backed off after the rest of the contestants revealed that they all had final three deals with Aras, who was apparently playing everybody except for his brother Vytas, who definitely wanted to play him.

Confused? Me too!

Blindsiding a former winner (instead of getting blindsided as he had been the first two times he played Survivor) seemed to not only rejuvenate Tyson, but also to restore his faith in Joseph Smith, Jr.

"Survivor has broken my heart twice, and I think tonight I fell back in love...I'm like Tina, if everyone played the game the way that you do, I would win 100% of the time."

The first Immunity Challenge was a classic Survivor eating competition, where the contestants raced to finish local "delicacies."

When the first dish of forty live worms was revealed, Tyson tried to psych out his competition by saying, "They're just like gummy worms, only grosser."

However, karma turned out to be a bitch in the next round when a plate of pig intestines caused Tyson to puke.

With Gervase and Monica facing off in the final round for Immunity, Jeff revealed that the final item would be two large grubs, which was the very same item that caused Gervase to lose the eating contest in season one of Survivor. 

Sure enough, Gervase freaked the fuck out as he exclaimed, "I can't do that! You know I can't do this!"

And while Gervase was able to choke both of his live grubs down, he still lost out to Monica.

Monica seemed to boast about her lack of a gag reflex while saying, "Gervase, I love you, and I'm sorry, but this has been a dream of mine for a long time!"

Monica Culpepper won because live grubs and raw pig intestines are not nearly as disgusting as what her husband Brad Culpepper makes her swallow all the time.

At Tribal Council, Vytas called Monica out for flipping on her alliance with Aras and himself. He then told the girls to align against Tyson and Gervase in the event that he got voted out.

He also revealed that he was biting his tongue when Tina called Tyson and Monica out earlier in the episode.

Apparently realizing that he was their next target, Vytas let them have it saying, "Fuck you, you voted out my brother." 

Vytas went on to call out Monica some more for being so easy to manipulate.

"Monica, who's already so paranoid out here, she fell for it right away. You know, you just tell her she's a doormat, and she's like, 'Okay, I don't want to be a doormat, I'm with you...This Monica the benevolent thing, is like a little bit over.'"

That caused Monica to cast her vote against Vytas while saying, "What up Brad," implying that it was a bit of a revenge vote.

And while that sent Vytas to Redemption Island, Monica was supposed to vote for Katie along with the other girls, while the guys were going to vote for Vytas.

If there's anything that Monica Culpepper should have learned when she was with Galang or during the 2008 Presidential campaign, it's that people love it when you "go rogue."

At Redemption Island Vytas blamed Aras for getting voted out, which was a bit of a dick move considering that he would have never been on the show had Aras not brought him along as his loved one even though he was a recovering heroin addict.

Vytas and Aras then had a very matter of fact conversation that was reminiscent of the talk that Jacob and The Smoke Monster on the show Lost...with Vytas clearly playing the role of The Smoke Monster.
Vytas:     "You're not even going to beat me out of Redemption, I'm the one who's going to get out."
Aras:      "That would be great. If you get out of Redemption, I'd be just as happy as if I got out of Redemption.
Vytas:     "I can't say the same thing for you. I'm sorry."

While we were promised a double elimination episode in last week's promos, it looked more like the producers simply cut two weeks worth of boring footage and Tribal Councils into one episode.

In any event, the week's second Immunity Challenge required the contestants to stack coins on sword handle one at a time and balance them without dropping any.

Monica was the first to bow out, while Tina gave her daughter an "Atta-boy, Katie" when she won Individual Immunity, perhaps realizing for the first time that her daughter was a lesbian.

However, Katie winning Immunity left Tina knowing that she was likely the next target to get voted out, so she began frantically searching for the Immunity Idol.

Unfortunately, Tina didn't count on Tyson and Gervase putting together a posse to follow her around the jungle to bully her from finding the Immunity Idol.

Gervase Peterson: I'm kind of getting sick of Hootie.

And while Tyson already had the Immunity Idol, he put that farce in action because he didn't want anyone to know he had it.

"We don't have to follow Tina around, like I could go to everybody and go, 'I like have the Immunity Idol, we can all take naps,' but then I'd become a target, so today we have to babysit Tina all the time."

That seemed to psych Tina out, who just stood around instead of looking for the Idol regardless of who was watching her do it...Which in hindsight sounds kind of kinky.

That caused Tina to say, "I'm definitely in a Mexican standoff, and I've gotta find the hidden Immunity Idol...If I start searching for it, then they're going to know that I don't have it."

At Tribal Council, Tina did her best to change up the plan to vote her out by telling Monica that she was on the ass end of Tyson and Gervase's alliance, noting how she was always the last one told who to vote for because she talked too much. 

Worse yet, Gervase openly agreed with that assertion...But that didn't phase our hero Monica, who didn't let a startling wake-up call like that stop her from voting with the masses.

After the votes were cast, Tina played dumb about having the Idol, acting like she was digging in her purse for it when Jeff asked if anyone had the Idol and wanted to play it.

Of course, that raised the question, 'Why the fuck did Tina have a purse at Tribal Council?'

However, Tina's fate was ultimately sealed when she went on to reveal, "Jeff...I wish I found it, but I didn't."

That sent Tina to join Aras and Vytas on Redemption Island, where she could try her best to persuade two gay brothers to marry her lesbian daughter.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Blogging SURVIVOR: Blood vs. Water - "It's a game, bitch!"




With the contestants anticipating a merge, Vytas pledged his allegiance to the Galang women saying, "We're going to be moral, we're going to be honest, even if that means our death."

However, he went on to reveal a more shady side of himself when he was away from his tribe. "That's not how I feel, but that's what I'm rapping about." 

At the Redemption Challenge the competitors were informed that the winner of the duel would be rejoining the game, while the two losers would be forced to spend the rest of the season with Brad Culpepper and Colton Cumbie on "Rednecktion Island."

The competition itself simply required the contestants to hang on to a totem pole the longest. With females historically dominating this challenge in the past, that certainly favored Laura M. over John and Female Rupert.

Sure enough, John and Female Rupert got weighed down by their penises and fell off, putting Laura M. back into the game much to the dismay of her daughter Ciera.

And while Laura B. (Female Rupert) played terribly in nearly every aspect of the game, she still seemed proud of her effort. "I'm a quiet farm girl, and I'm going to go back the strongest woman I've ever been in my life."

Of course, that came as a bit of a surprise, since many viewers didn't realize that Female Rupert was actually a woman.

As anticipated, Jeff Probst announced that the tribes were merging, which finally brought estranged brothers Aras and Vytas back together.

Something tells me that Aras and Vytas Baskauskas are closer to one another than they are letting on....And that Tina's dream of Vytas hooking up with Katie are just that, a dream.

And after a feast of fruit, wine, crackers, cheese and salami, the players christened their new tribe "Kasama."

Sadly, CBS served the contestants blood oranges, despite the strong possibility that their sale was used to finance the bloody civil war between The Real Orange County and The Hills.

Using the clue that Tadhana's members had shared with him about a "serpent tree on the way to water," Tyson found the Hidden Immunity Idol, which turned out to be chocolate wrapped in a gold wrapper that was packed full of questions.

"Let's see how sweet it is, I hope it's solid gold...I've never had an Idol before, and I've also never won the show before. Do those correlate with one another? Probably not."

Reunited with Aras, Vytas started to get even more cocky. "Blood vs. Water should really in the end be called 'Vytas vs. Aras,' because we would have to be real stupid at this point not to make it to the end."

Tina and Galang tells Monica she's number five, thinking she'd be happy just to make it that far since she's spent her entire life riding in the wake of her husband, Brad Culpepper.

The Individual Immunity Challenge required the competitors to quickly memorize a sequence of symbols on cube and display them back in the correct order.

That came down to a brother vs. brother battle, where Vytas finally defeated Aras at something other than "most arrests" to earn Immunity.

That fueled Vytas' ego to grow even more, calling Aras and himself "the strongest," while proclaiming, "I'd be surprised if anyone has the guts to do anything about it."

However, unbeknownst to Vytas, a plan lead by Tyson to backdoor Aras was starting to circulate.

When Katie was asked if she was on board despite any personal feelings she may have had for them, Katie powerfully delivered her first words of the season simply saying, "It's a game, bitch!"

 Katie Collins: Do you kiss Vytas for your mom with that mouth?

And while Aras was voted out at Tribal Council, he remained in the game back at Redemption Island.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

2013 CMA Predictions From A Guy Who Doesn't Listen To Country Music



I don't listen to country music, but that's not going to stop me from making my third annual predictions for the ACM's. No, make that the CMT's. Wait, that's not it either? 

Okay, well I'm going to try and predict the winners for whatever country music awards show that happens to be airing this week.

Ironically, a special "Pinnacle Award" is being handed out to Taylor Swift for bringing country music to a more mainstream global audience, when she actually just took mainstream music and brought it to CMT along with shows like Redneck Island.

Throw in a special tribute to Kenny Rogers (who was able to retire from the music industry when he discovered that the fat drippings from his rotisserie chicken were a cheaper replacement for Botox), and we should be in for a pretty good night.

So put on your best vintage Confederate flag t-shirt, hop into your favorite pickup truck with a plastic nut sack dangling from the trailer hitch, and enjoy one of the five biggest nights that country music has to offer along with the largest collection of people who think that the Florida Panhandle should become it's own state!

The Florida Georgia Line: It's not racist if you just really liked the group Alabama. It is racist if you really, really like the state of Alabama.

Entertainer of the Year

Taylor Swift – I really don't think people are even all that entertained by her personal life anymore, but if they were (hypothetically speaking of course), isn't the next logical step for Taylor Swift to start dating Kanye West and then write a revenge song about it?

Jason Aldean – This guy was said to exhibit his "hip-hop influence" by rapping on his single Dirt Road Anthem, which was really just a dumbed down version of Gin and Juice for white people.



George Strait – I'm glad to see that George Strait has listened to the people and released the long awaited sequel to his movie Pure Country. Do I smell a Golden Globe in addition to an ACM (I mean a CMA) in his future?


Then again, after watching the original Pure Country, doesn't George Strait pretty much just stand around and sing? If so, how the fuck does that qualify you to be "Entertainer of the Year?"

Blake Shelton – Talk about an entertainer, I don't think Blake Shelton is even recording music anymore, but he's been as entertaining and adorable as anyone on NBC's "The Voice" this side of Cee Lo Green on a "Molly" bender.

Luke Bryan – Sadly, his hit song Tailgates and Tanlines wasn't about spring break at Daytona Beach. It was about having butt sex with an ex-girlfriend.

And the winner is...It's gotta be Jason Aldean, right?

The John Deere hat and Sunset Strip t-shirt and goatee just scream "hip-hop" roots...if "hip-hop" roots means Panama City, Florida.

I mean the last time I got suckered into going to the redneck bar all they did was play a mix of country and hip-hop. I also almost got thrown out by the manager for trying to stand up for an African-American guy that night, but that's a whole other story.

In any event, like it or not, rap and country are slowly merging into a genre called "hick-hop." Because that's is the next logical step in music, right?

Top Male Vocalist of the Year

Jason Aldean – Alright, I can't quite get over a country singer rapping and proclaiming that he was influenced by hip-hop and acting like he has invented some sort of new "Hick-Hop" genre. On top of that, how the Hell do you get nominated for "Country Male Vocalist" when you're a wanna be white rapper from Macon, Georgia?

Not only was Dirt Road Anthem the worst attempt at rapping that I've ever heard in my life, but somewhere in rural Oklahoma the lead singer from the Smoking Armadillos is cursing his former agent and looking to kick Jason Aldean's ass.


The Smoking Armadillos - I'm a Cowboy

Luke Bryan – Born the youngest son to a poor peanut farmer in rural Georgia, Luke Bryan was able to overcome being on the ass end of the Georgia peanut baron hierarchy and become the most successful peanut refugee that state has ever seen since Billy Carter.


Blake Shelton – Blake Shelton will be performing his new song, She has a Face That I Want to Log-on. Oh wait, I just made that up, but I think I could turn that into a hit country music single the next time I hit the Music City.

Keith Urban – When Nicole Kidman finally gets enough self esteem to leave the Church of Scientology and break up with Keith Urban, it will inspire him to write a new hit song, I'm Singin' a Blue Song, But Livin' in a Red State...I made that up too. This is easy, I'm moving to Nashville!

Eric Church – If you're going to give someone a country music award, shouldn't you give it to someone to embraces old school "outlaw" country and advocates the legalization of marijuana like Eric Church or Jamie Johnson? Or as I like to ask, "What would Willie Do?"

What Would Willie Nelson Do? I think he'd go with Eric Church and Smoke a Little Smoke

And the winner is...Luke Bryan. Unfortunately for Eric Church, country music has gotten so bubble-gummy that even groups like The Florida-Georgia Line call Garth Brooks an example of "classic throwback country."

Top Female Vocalist of the Year

Miranda Lambert – Miranda Lambert's video for "The Fastest Girl in Town" was hugely popular in the South. Not only did it star NASCAR driver Danica Patrick, but the song was written about Lambert's biggest rival, Taylor Swift.

Kacey Musgraves – With the single Merry Go Round from her debut album, "Same Trailer, Different Park," it looks like country music has a new queen of cliches, replacing the artist formerly known as Gretchen Wilson!

Same hurt in every heart.
Same trailer, different park.

Mama's hooked on Mary Kay.
Brother's hooked on Mary Jane.
Daddy's hooked on Mary two doors down.
Mary, Mary quite contrary.
We get bored, so, we get married
Just like dust, we settle in this town.
On this broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go
Where it stops nobody knows and it ain't slowin' down.
This merry go 'round.

Taylor Swift - Alright, if Kanye West really is happily engaged to the "Ass-tastrophy" that has become Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift needs to get it over with and re-make George Straight's "All My Exes Live in Texas," if not just for shits and giggles.

Carrie Underwood – I bet if I told you that a female celebrity dated Tony Romo, a Gossip Girl (sadly, it was one of the Gossip Guys), and a pro hockey player, you would have probably guessed that it was Alyssa Milano, but in actuality, it was Carrie Underwood.

Not only is Underwood hosting this year's CMA's for something like the 37th consecutive time, but she's turning around and delivering a live TV performance of The Sound of Music next month, which is sure to please the critics.

Carrie Underwood as Maria in The Sound of Music? Talk about pissing on Julie Andrew's grave.

Kelly Clarkson – Kelly Clarkson at a country music awards show is kind of like nominating Jason Aldean for a BET award for best rapper...Except for the part where Kelly Clarkson actually gets invited to the country music awards show.

And the winner is...Carrie Underwood! After all, she is the Janet Jones of the south now that she's forced star hockey player Mike Fisher to get traded from Ottawa to Nashville, much to the chagrin of all of Canada. Seriously...We should be talking about this more. 

Top Vocal Group of the Year

Little Big Town – The love child of Jason Aldean's singles Hicktown and the group Big Green Tractor.

Zac Brown Band – The CMA's are reaching. Just because the Zac Brown Band is from the South, it doesn't mean these guys are country. After all, they played Bonnaroo for Christ's sake.

The Band Perry – I may or may not have watched these guys play at a local dive bar the other night for a $2 cover charge...

Eli Young Band – And I think these guys opened up for The Band Perry.

Lady Antebellum – A group named after the pre-Civil War South, or as they say in the South, the good ol' days. Somewhere the ghost of Alexander Stephens is humming bars to Dixie in approval of Lady Antebellum as he plots ways to haunt Jason Aldean from his grave.

And the winner is.....The Lady Brown Band.

Top Vocal Duo of the Year

Thompson Square – Keifer and Shawna Thompson went with the name Thompson Square (Thompson x 2?) after "The Thompson Twins" threatened legal action.



The Florida-Georgia Line – In a recent interview, this rap infused country duo said they considered Garth Brooks a "classic throwback" country artist, which pretty much sums up everything that's wrong with country music these days.

I'm not really sure what's going on here. If Atlanta, is the home of guys who get crunk and the dirty south, then The Florida-Georgia Line must be the home of guys who get drunk and dirty their shorts.

Sugarland – So a country band from the south re-made the song Life in a Northern Town? I think my northern ass doth protest.

Better yet, Mindy McCready has a better chance of making a career comeback than Sugarland after Sugarland had the audacity to blame their fans when 7 people died and 58 were injured when their stage collapsed during a tornado at the Indiana State fair in 2011.

The Civil Wars – This male/female duo are both married...but not to each other. And while they have not officially split up, they're apparently no longer on speaking terms. My guess is that there was some sort of forbidden North-South hook-up at some point during this Civil War.

Love and Theft- Things are really looking up for this "Mindy McCready" tribute band.

Mindy McCready's life was such a waste...Her dog didn't even get to eat her corpse.

Big and Rich РA shoe in to win. They have the perfect combination of clich̩ song titles, cowboy hats, goatees, and white dudes trying to rap.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Blogging SURVIVOR: Blood vs. Water - "You're not going to break up with me, are you?"



Only getting her sense of self worth from what the men in her life think of her, Kat was terrified of how her boyfriend Hayden would receive her after her tribe voted her off last week and sent her to Redemption Island.

Arriving at Redemption Island in tears, Kat immediately asking Hayden, "Can you hug me?" She then apologized to him by saying, "I'm so sorry."

However, instead of just offering him a blow job, Kat actually seemed worried that Hayden would be upset with her, which seemed to leave Monica Culpepper confused.

With Hayden saying, "Obviously my relationship with Kat is more important than anything, even this game," Jeff Probst basically told him to put his money where his mouth was and challenged him to swap places on Redemption Island with his girlfriend.

That lead to an awkward moment, because Kat clearly wanted Hayden to switch places with her, saying, "I'm afraid I won't do well in this duel, because it's a puzzle, and I can't even spell."

While Kat Edorrson may be pretty, she's borderline mentally retarded. And while I mean that in the nicest possible way...She's a retard.

On the other hand, Hayden clearly did not want to give up his spot in the game to someone who may or may not remember even being on the show three months down the road.

And after asking Kat to consider what was best for them as a couple "long term," she agreed to let Hayden stay with Tadhana and compete in the challenge.

The Redemption Challenge required the contestants to chop a rope to release a bag of puzzle pieces, and then solve what was described as a difficult puzzle. 

While Kat had little problems chopping her rope once she realized you were supposed to to use the sharp side of the machete, she amazingly couldn't figure out how to open her bag, which was just pulled shut with a drawstring.


video

And while Hayden tried to help Kat by putting it in terms she could relate to by saying, "Just make the bag bigger," that was too little too late.

John ended up winning yet another challenge, with Laura M. easily defeating Kat for second place in order to stay in the game.

That sent Kat into yet another hot mess of insecurity, as she asked Hayden, "You're not going to break up with me, are you?"


Hayden did seem to feel a little guilty about not switching places with Kat saying, "Kat is a little naive sometimes and doesn't always know which way is up, and I'm the one who like, helps her. I was in a position to help her, and I didn't."

However, he quickly shifted gears and seemed to be relieved of the burden of having to play the game with a loved one. 

Tina took an interest in Vytas, but was forced to live through her daughter Katie due to her age.

"I would be honored if he took an interest in Katie because he seems like such a straight up guy. However, the guy who gets Katie is gonna have to hit her over the head and drag her into his cave, because Katie is not a very flirtatious girl. But one can dream, I'm ready for grand babies."

And if Vytas is into that whole "Larry 'Bud' Melman thing, Katie Collin's and her mother Tina just might get lucky.

Female Rupert also took a liking to Vytas saying, "Vytas is a wonderful man who can be open with his feelings."

And while Vytas was very well received by all of the ladies at Galang, he also hinted that he was using his charm to manipulate them.

"In my experience, women love a bad boy, but what they like even more than a bad boy is a newly reformed bad boy."

At the Immunity Challenge, the teams had to navigate an obstacle course while chained together and collect bags, and then assemble a set of balls and chains and successfully toss them onto a set of ladder rungs.

Meanwhile, Female Rupert did her best to show that she wasn't really female after all.

Laura B: Either that's a blurred out penis, or we have an "Ass-quatch" sighting. 

For some reason Galang had Tina toss their ball and chains over Vytas, which turned out to be a huge strategical error as she totally whiffed on a key toss that ended up giving Tyson and Tadhana the win.

And in addition to Immunity, Tadhana also won a picnic with fried chicken, macaroni and cornbread, which is also the theme of a new restaurant called, "Paula Dean's Diarrhea Factory."

After going out of his way to eat all of Tadhana's food after joining their camp, Tyson was kind enough to grant Caleb's request for some extra ice at the picnic.

"We are all equal partners in this Caleb, so you can do what ever you want. That's the way I've been approaching everything. I came to your beach and ate all your food. I'm a one man wrecking ball!"

Back at Galang, Female Rupert decided to go all Sarah Palin and tell Vytas that she and the girls were planning to vote him out. The only problem was that she forgot to clear that announcement with the other girls first.

And while Female Rupert thought that she was proving her worth to the rest of Veteran players, it only raised concerns about her potentially "going rogue" after the merge.

Monica "Oh-my-goodness! Seriously, that is the Survivor moment of all time...I'm flabbergasted! I mean, Survivor 101, don't you meat with your alliance before you make an executive decision to just tell someone that you're going home?"

Sure enough, when Vytas asked Tina if it really was his "time to go," Tina smirked and said, "I don't think so. It could be Laura B."

At Tribal Council, Vytas put his years of scamming people to get blow to good use and made his case to stay over Female Rupert by saying, "It doesn't matter how many girls you have, it matters how many trustworthy people you have."

And while Female Rupert was voted out, she still felt proud of the way she played the game, which was very poorly.

"No matter what, I think Rupert would be proud of me. I've been in his shadow for a while now."