Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Bachelor Blog - "I think you're a playboy"

The hometown date episode began with AshLee bringing Sean to Houston to meet her adopted parents.

Unfortunately for Sean, not getting to see AshLee's biological mother turned out to be a major problem, as it left him unsure of how fat she'll eventually end up getting.

With AshLee having been adopted by a minister and his wife, we did get to play an exciting game of, "Were they foster parents or child molesters?"

And when AshLee's adoptive father said, "The minute I saw her I had a connection and I fell in love with her," we all knew that it was the latter.

Surprisingly, AshLee's adoptive father wasn't at all reluctant to give his blessing for his daughter to marry some guy from a reality TV show.

Then again, he did allow her to get married when she was a Junior in high school, so at least his parental skills have improved in the past 15 years.

After meeting AshLee's family, Sean went on to meet Catherine in her hometown of Seattle, where it turned out that her family was Asian.

Sean tried to impress Catherine's family by doing push-ups, which as it turns out, is just a cute thing that he does whenever he gets nervous.

At least Sean Lowe let Catherine be on top...But probably only because her grandma was watching.

After passing the push-up test, Catherine's sisters did more to warn him than they did to feel him out. In fact, they warned him how she wasn't "a relationship girl," about her lack of desire to have children, and her mood swings.

And while that type of endorsement (or lack thereof) should have been enough to sent any normal man running, we have to keep in mind that Sean kept Tierra LiCausi around for most of the season in spite of all her red-flags.

Sean then moved on to meet Lindsey, who he tried to impress by doing push-ups.

If only Sean Lowe could just figure out how to multi-task and do push-ups with his shirt off.

He also had to meet Lindsey's father, who is a two-star Army General. And aside from all of the guns that he had mounted on his wall, her dad actually seemed pretty cool.

Last, and probably least, Sean went to visit Desiree in her "natural environment" in Los Angeles, which was where her family's trailer just happened to be parked that week.

Desiree did get back at Sean for playing the practical joke on her during their date at the art museum by having someone pose as her crazy ex-boyfriend who was trying to win her back.

Sean was clearly agitated when some dude arrived at her door pleading, "I've been texting, calling. Where the Hell have you been?"

And after a brief showdown where Sean warned, "First of all, I'm standing right here," and, "Don't put your hands on me," it turned out that the real threat was really Desiree's white trash brother, Nate.

And while Dez's family was otherwise happy to see her work her way out of the trailer, Nate wasn't all that cool with anybody sleeping with his sister who wasn't him.

"There's no way this can work out...I think your a playboy." That caused Sean to respond by saying, "I'm sorry you got that opinion, but it's not me."

Of course, Nate wasn't aware that Sean's really gay...I mean a "born again virgin."

And by claiming that he's a born again virgin, Sean Lowe conveniently has a built in excuse as to why he's not been all that intimate with any of the women this season.

Realizing that he had an incredibly difficult decision to make as to who to keep between Catherine and Desiree, Sean decided to take off his shirt in order to help himself think.

Aware that her brother may have ruined her chance to upgrade to a double wide, Desiree pulled Sean aside during the Rose Ceremony to apologize for Nate and his frightening white guy hand tattoo.

At least Desiree's crazy ex-con brother Nate didn't have access to any dangerous weapons.

That caused Catherine to question, "Should I have pulled him aside? I don't want to go home," which wasn't exactly the same thing as saying that she was worried about losing Sean as a person, if you read between the lines.

Sure enough, it was Desiree who was sent packing, allowing her brother to compete for her hand as a contestant when she winds up being the next Bachelorette.

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