Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Blogging Survivor: Philippines - "I was willing to die for this game the last time I played."

Having survived last week's Tribal Council, Russell explained how their was no quit in him by talking about how he almost died the last time he played the game.

Did you know that? Russell almost died the last time he was on Survivor?

That's not quite the same thing as being good at playing Survivor, but at least he has his spot in the Survivor Hall of Fame for being the guy who almost died, and then came back and wouldn't go away.

At Tandang, Peter unleashed his plan to create chaos in camp, with his primary target being RC.

As if it wasn't bad enough that he and Abi used RC's clue to find the hidden Immunity Idol, he planted that clue in RC's bag so the rest of the tribe would suspect her.

True to his plan, Abi saw the clue in RC's bag and actually proceeded to accuse her of digging it up from the spot where she had hidden it after she stole it.

South American like Abi-Maria Gomes women are known for many attributes, but let's just say that being rational is not one of them.

When RC tried to pull Abi aside and clear the air between them since they were once in a tight alliance, Abi scolded her by saying, "I'm over it...Move on...You know exactly what you did, you betrayed me."

And just like that, Peter pulled off one of the better moves in Survivor history.

Not only did his decision to plant the clue in RC's bag cause fellow tribe members like Lisa Whelchel to doubt RC, but it also caused Abi to lose her shit, likely making her RC's number one target.

At Kalabaw, Jeff Kent and Jonathan Penner expanded their alliance by bringing in Carter, the naive farm boy from Kansas.

Of course, being the asshole that he is, Jeff began to voice his frustration with the maturity level of his tribe. "We got a really young group of kids that aren't married, and don't know how to carry on a professional conversation.

Of course, fellow tribe mate Dana Lambert might have been able to marry if redneck dickheads like Jeff Kent didn't donate $15,000 to support Proposition 8, the measure to make same sex marriage illegal in California.

The Immunity Challenge consisted of collecting pots and carrying them on an ox sling that was draped across the contestants shoulders as they navigated an obstacle course, and then swinging a wrecking ball to smash those pots open the fastest.

When Matsing finished last for the fourth consecutive week, Russell awkwardly began yelling out loud as if he was talking to God. "Same old crap! Same old crap! Lord, I don't know what's happening. You gave me another opportunity, I don't get what's happening father!"

When Jeff Probst asked Russell if he was talking to God he called himself "a perfect creature" who was "formed by God's hands." Unfortunately, in his version of the Bible, perfect creatures are unathletic, socially awkward, and not very good strategists.

In fact, Malcolm "I sized Russ up pretty good right off the bat. He's met my low expectations...He lacks self awareness. It's apparent in challenges, it's apparent in the way he talks to us around camp, and it's apparent the way he loses his cool at Tribal for no reason.

While Russell seemed to hold out hope that Malcolm or Denise would elect to keep him in the game, his desperation began to show as he frantically searched for the Immunity Idol, which he couldn't find even though it was in plain sight and he had the clue.

Russell went as far as to place the blame on his fellow tribemates, saying that in the event that he did not make the merge it was "Because of a smoker (Zane), a lunatic (Roxy) and a beauty queen (Angie)."

In the end, while Russell may have been willing to die to play the game, his tribe mates were dying to get him out of it, as he was voted out 2-1.

And true to his own over-inflated ego, Russell let out a loud sigh in disbelief as the vote was announced.

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