Monday, August 9, 2010

BBB12 (Blogging Big Brother 12) - "It shot directly into my mouth - my whole face is covered"

Here are some excerpts from lovebirds Brendon and Rachel. I'll leave up to you to predict how this showmance is going to play out once the show is over, but keep in mind that Rachel is a VIP cocktail waitress in Las Vegas who has joked that she scams men for a living:

Brendon: I love you.
Rachel: Brendon, stop it.

Brendon: Can I tell you that I love you very much?
Rachel: I don't know why you doubt me so much.

Brendon: I wouldn't have said I love you if I didn't feel that.
Rachel: You better start separating how you're acting toward me or it won't be a relationship.

Brendon: I love you, I do, and I want to be with you.
Rachel: (hugs Brendon coldly while rolling her eyes on camera).

Going back to last week, that brings us to a total of five unreciprocated "I love yous" from Brendon to Rachel. Even if the two attempt to have a relationship outside of the house, I can't see it lasting past the day Brendon finds out her bikini model gig was for High Speed Magazine. That's kind of like finding out your new girlfriend used to date a guy who wore nothing but Ed Hardy shirts by Christian Audigier - it's a total deal breaker.

With Hayden and Kristen up for nomination, Britney won the Power of Veto competition. However, winning did not necessarily grant her the Power of Veto, as she had the choice of keeping a randomly selected prize/booby prize or trading it to another housemate for a prize that they had received. With Britney having drawn the punishment of solitary confinement for finishing first, she chose to trade it to Hayden for the Power of Veto, which he took from his girlfriend Kristen while passing her the tie-dyed spandex "hippie-tard."

Hayden and and Kristen almost secured a deal where Britney would have used the Power of Veto contingent upon Rachel agreeing to put Kathy up as a replacement nominee. While they offered Rachel and Brendon the prospect of a "Super Alliance" in return (a promise that Hayden and Kristen fully intended to break), Rachel backed out at the last moment by indicating that she intended to put Lane up in the event that a replacement nominee was needed.

With Rachel and Brendon outside, Britney and Matt went into the Head of Household room and put on Rachel's red hair extensions (Editors Note: The Red Mieni does not endorse fake red hair in any shape, form or fashion). Rachel walked into the room as Britney was in the middle of an unflattering impersonation. However, Rachel failed to grasp the fact that they were making fun of her, and she even told Julie Chen during evictions that she saw Britney as a potential alliance member.

Kristen was the first housemate to pick up on the Brigade alliance after becoming suspicious when Hayden told her that he didn't care if she campaigned against him. However, Kristen was eliminated by a 6-1 vote when she was unsuccessful in her attempts to warn the house about that potential alliance. With Kristen having been the unofficial 5th wheel in the Brigade, I think it's only fair that she gets a cool nickname. I'm going with The Back Door. It was also revealed that Kristen actually entered the house with a boyfriend. CBS was kind enough to show a clip of his reaction to Kristen hooking up with Hayden as he was watching with a group of her friends back home. Luckily he was from Philadelphia and not Cleveland, or else CBS might have had to edit out a suicide after having to endure yet another on air heartbreak.

Matt won Head of Household in an endurance competition where the castmates were spun around and splattered with blasts of paint, causing Britney to comment, "It shot directly in my mouth, my face is covered, but there is a huge blob right over my mouth." Now how the hell am I supposed to write anything else after hearing her say that?

As Head of Household Matt elected to open Pandora's Box and received the Diamond Power of Veto, which allows him to veto any nomination AND choose the replacement nominee once in the next two weeks. Apparently his decision to do so unleashed a new Saboteur into the house, as Ragan accepted the viewing audience's invitation and a chance to win $20,000 if he successfully completes three sabotages over the next two weeks without getting voted out. Matt nominated Rachel and Brendon for nomination, and Rachel alienated herself from the house further when she falsely accused Matt and Ragan of being in an alliance together, causing Ragan to call her out.

Big Brother 12 Power Ratings - Each week I rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after week 4:

9. Rachel - (previously #8) - All season I've felt like Rachel reminded me of someone. I just couldn't tell if it was based upon the way she looked or her annoying voice. Then out of nowhere I figured it out, Rachel is Kathy Griffin's long lost know, before Kathy Griffin and Rachel both grew penises.

8. Brendon - (previously #7) Brendon probably blew any shot he had at winning the game when he disregarded Kristen's plea to vote out Hayden based upon her suspicion that he was in an alliance with Lane, Enzo and Matt. Brendon accused Kristen of making the whole story up and voted against her. Of course, this is the same Brendon who has convinced himself that Rachel actually loves him back. Note to Brendon, if you have to repeatedly apologize to your girl for trying your hardest, then the relationship is already over. I should know, I learned this the hard way...and I wasn't competing in a Head of Household competition like Brendon was.

7. Kathy - (previously #9) The rumor that two housemates having a pre-existing relationship before entering the house has never been shot down. Am I crazy to think that Kathy could be Britney's mom. They're both from Arkansas, and they seem to be keeping a safe distance from one another. Just food for thought.

6. Ragan - (previously #5) Ragan has been selected as the housemate that America wants to be the next Saboteur. While he accepted that challenge for the chance to win $20,000 if he is successful over the next two weeks, it could also put a huge target on him if he is suspected.

5. Britney - (previously #4) Britney identified Ragan as the most difficult housemate to live with on live TV, not because of his personality, but because of his propensity for flatulence. In his defense Ragan stated, "I would say that every fart has come from Britney's legs," potentially dispelling the myth that hot girls don't fart. Even if he was lying I'm still going to have that little doubt in the back of my head whenever I see Britney for the rest of the season. Thanks Ragan, I'm not saying that you have to like girls, but you certainly don't have to ruin them for the rest of us.

4. Matt - (previously # 3) While Rachel is up for eviction, she identified Matt as her next target even before he nominated her. While Matt gained the Diamond Power of Veto by opening Pandora's box, by doing so he unleashed the new Saboteur, which will surely lower his standing with the other housemates in the long run.

3. Hayden - (previously #6) Before his eviction ceremony Hayden's mom went on camera and said, "If I could actually talk to Hayden right now I would tell him to think with the head on his shoulders." Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

2. Lane - (previously #1) I've started to dislike Lane more and more since I've noticed that he does all of his confessional interviews in character as if he's some sort of pro wresting character.

1. Enzo - (previously #2) I'm moving Enzo up to the top spot since Matt is continually making enemies, Hayden is on the outs due to his relationship with Kristen, and Lane was mentioned as a target for a potential replacement nominee by Rachel last week.

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