Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Bachelorette Blog - "I've heard from multiple people, not just girls, that I have qualities that are really paramount when it comes to being a husband."

This week Andi and the guys traveled to Marseille, France, which had to be a huge disappointment after they spent the last week in Connecticut. 

The first 1-on-1 Date went to Josh, who Andi was still trying to get a read on.

Specifically, Andi was worried that her attraction to Josh was solely physical, and she yearned for a longed for a deep conversation with him to prove that he wasn't just another jock who was going to cheat on her.

Sure enough, Josh went on to explain that he was a 2nd Round draft pick as a baseball player before a shoulder injury convinced him to retire and focus on family.

Naturally, Josh then went on to play football at the University of Georgia where he managed not to date anyone for five years despite being on a campus that has some of the hottest girls in America.

Josh Murray and his brother Aaron Murray, who was just drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs, along with their dad and sisters.

Josh confessed to Andi that the reason he hadn't dated in five years was because his ex girlfriend kissed another guy when he was off playing pro baseball, which sucks, but seems a little harsh to break up with someone, let alone swear off dating for five years.

Josh Murray have have taken the whole "focus on family" thing just a little too far.

In the end, Andi gave Josh a Rose for being celibate...Or at least telling her that he was.

Josh Murray also got his wish when he asked of a seagull, "Please poop on us for good luck!"

The Group Date, which was said to be "something unique to the French culture," turned out have the guys learning to mime.

And when it was said, "They take their miming very seriously in France, it's like a full contact sport," things made perfect sense, considering that France's next most physical pastime is soccer.

Nick was not happy to be miming, but in the spirit of "when in France do as the French," he acted like a little bitch.

Cody was upset that Nick called himself the "front runner" after Cody had said he was just happy to still be around.

When the overly arrogant Nick tried to calm the overly muscle bound Cody by saying, "We tease each other all the time," Cody warned, "You don't mock me when it comes to that...That's one thing you don't do."

Much like Cody Sadler,  I  decided to get in a quick work out the other day without even telling any of my friends or family. Strangely, by the time I was done my Facebook account had just magically posted a "selfie" of me at the gym. In glancing at Facebook, it looks like I'm not the only one having this problem. Does anybody know what I need to change in my settings to make it stop?

Cody then ran off to tattle on Nick to Andi, who, of course, confronted him.

Not only did Nick acknowledge mocking Cody, but he had the balls to read her a really awful poem that he had written as well.

Sure enough, Andi saw right through it and said, "Are you going to kiss me, er' what?"

Nick Viall: If I was Andi Dorfman, I would have gone for option B), "Er What."

Andi then then shamefully explained, "It got complicated again tonight. It got complicated with him," before saying that Nick caused a ruckus at the house, and a ruckus in her mind.

Andrew took not getting a 1-on-1 Date as a sign that Andi wanted to send him home unless he did something big, and by big, he meant something totally racist. 

After hearing from J.J. that Andrew had leaned over to him and said, "Whoa, she gave it to the two blackies" at the First Rose Ceremony, Marquel, the lone remaining black contestant, decided to confront Andrew.

And while Andrew denied having said that, he also broke out laughing at the same time, which didn't go over so well with Marquel.

After Andrew gave Andi the 411 on his tense conversation with Marquel, Andi gave the Group Date Rose to J.J. for not being racist.
The second 1-on-1 Date went to Brian, who we know better as "Coach."

However, the entire date just turned out to be a shameless plug for Slumdog Millionaire Two, which Andi and Brian were forced to watch.

Because the movie ripped off it's plot from Julie and Julia, Andi and Brian went to a French market and selected as many disgusting items as they could so they could make a meal together.

Unfortunately, the Amish community in Pennsylvania that Brian comes from looks down upon men cooking, so he totally shut down even though Andi was practically begging for him to lift up her apron and smack her on the ass.

Andi then compared cooking with Brian to his penis.

Apparently having never seen a Bachelorette 1-on-1 Date, a clueless Coach then went on to say, "Man, I'd rather have this than any other 1-on-1 Date possible, I'm like man, sitting down and watching a movie...It was incredible!"

Coach opened up a little more later and went in for a kiss. And while that's all they seemed to have in common, Andi decided that effort was enough for her to give him another shot, so she gave him a Rose.

Not realizing how close he was to going home, Coach came back and gave the guys a pre-Cocktail Party pep talk by saying, "Boys, it's the 4th quarter, leave it all on the playing field."

However, Andi came back and told Chris Harrison that she didn't want to go through with the Cocktail Party because she had already made up her mind that she needed to let three guys go.

And when it was all said and done, that left both Andrew and Marquez on the on the outs.

Ironically, Andrew went home because he was a racist, while Andi sent Marquez home because he's black.

Even after allegedly making racist comments towards Marquel and Ron, Andrew complained about being bullied on his way out of the house.

Meanwhile, Marquel shed a few tears while saying that Andi made him a believer in love again, apparently not realizing that you don't get to be the new Bachelor if you don't finish in the top four...Or you're black.

Surprisingly, the final Rose went to Cody over Patrick. Well, at least it was surprising that Cody's still around, not so much that Patrick was sent home.

Of course, Patrick was in complete denial.

"I don't get it. The problem that occurred was that she didn't get to experience me. It's unfortunate, it truly is...I've heard from multiple people, not just girls, that I have qualities that are really paramount when it comes to being a husband."

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