Monday, January 21, 2013

The Bachelor Blog - "My ability to love someone is not affected by how many arms I have"

With the first Rose Ceremony out of the way, Sean chose Sarah, the one armed chick to go on the season's worst, oops, I mean "first" 1-on-1 date.

Of course, that probably was a safest decision, considering that none of the other girls could get upset about his choice without coming across as a major bitch.

Then again, this is The Bachelor, and Kacie B. is on the show, who as a former contestant still hasn't gotten over the glamour of the "Batch-Copter."

"Oh my gosh, Sean's picking her up in a helicopter. Not a car, not any normal mode of transportation,  helicopter!"

Of course, Sean made the mistake of jumping into the helicopter first, which forced Sarah to sit with her nub side closest to him. That was something that was obviously rectified off camera, as by the next seen they had magically switched places.

Sarah proclaimed that "My ability to love someone is not affected by how many arms. I have." Unfortunately for her, Sean's ability to love her back is. Nonetheless, she still got a rose.

The Group Date consisted of a photo shoot to see who would appear on the cover of a series of romance novels with Sean.

The shoot consisted of three major themes, all of which appealed to the sensuality of women: Cowboys, the Antebellum South, and vampires.
No seriously, even adult women turn to fucking vampires when it comes time to break out their silver bullets...And no, I'm not talking about killing werewolves.

As a Ford Model, Kristi Kaminski, half naked and in her panties in this shot, had a huge advantage at the photo shoot...Actually, make that two huge advantages when you factor in her boobs.

Lesley M., dressed as a "hot cowgirl" became the first girl to kiss Sean, almost letting the moment pass before saying, "I just wanted to leave you with that...Short and sweet."

Kacie B. acted as if she had a crush on Sean, although I'm definitely questioning her motives for coming back on the show...That is, aside from the free food Craft Service table.

And while Sean did end up giving her the Group Date Rose, he still seemed to relegate her to the "friendship zone" saying only that he was "open to explore" the potential of a relationship with Kacie B.

On the other hand, Catherine got right to the point with Sean by saying, "I'm a vegan, but I love the beef," which certainly caught Sean's attention as he said "That is so great!", even though he's clearly a closet carnivore himself.

Meanwhile, Tierra seemed to be turning into the season's villain that all of the girls immediately hated while having Sean fooled at the same time, as he called her "Sweet and genuine."

Finally, Katie the yoga girl, decided that she was too earthy and not pageantry enough to appeal to Sean or the producers, so she decided to leave the show voluntarily.

And if Katie was just secretly begging for Sean to give her an excuse to stick around, he quickly dismissed her by saying, "Okay, well let me walk you out then."

The second 1-on-1 date went to Desiree, who Sean took to a fake art exhibit under the guise that she would unknowingly break a fake piece of art that she was told that was worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

As you might expect, that gag was exactly as funny as it sounds, sending Sean's popularity and ABC's ratings through the roof...It also all but guaranteed Desiree a rose, as she was a good sport about Sean's elaborate gag.

At the cocktail party before the Rose Ceremony, Robyn wondered if Sean was attracted to black women.

Interestingly, from looking at her pictures, Robyn Howard doesn't appear to be all that interested in cracka's herself.

However, Sean quickly reassured her by informing Robyn he had previously dated a woman of African American decent over the Internet for the the past two years named Lennay Kekua.

Amanda, who alienated herself from the other girls by refusing to interact with them, only choosing to put on her happy face and perk up when Sean came into the room, received the final rose of the evening.

That left Sean to send home the black girl who didn't put him on the spot by indirectly asking him if he was racist, as well as the Mormon girl (Diana), 'cause that shit wasn't going to fly in Texas.

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