Thursday, November 17, 2011

Blogging Survivor: South Pacific - "I'm not going to be aggressive...We're not like gangsters out here man."

Things started off fairly tense given that Cochran betrayed his Savaii Tribe alliance when he voted with Upolu and blind-sided Keith.

When Ozzy calmly questioned Cochran about flipping, Russell's Nephew tried to intervene by saying, "I'm just trying to make sure that nobody's being aggressive with him," Ozzy responded by saying, "C'mon, I'm not going to be aggressive...we're not like gangsters out here man."

Jim, on the other hand, was not as cool. Right after Ozzy wished Cochran luck in the game, he jumped in and blurted, "Coward! You're a poor excuse for a man. Don't ever fucking talk to me again." While you question Cochran's decision making, and maybe his manhood, I have to admit it took some nuts to betray his entire tribe, so I don't think I'd call him a "coward."

Aspiring country music singer Whitney was not much more sympathetic or any less hostile. So you were the vote?...You realize Keith and I saved you three times...and that's what you fucking do? You got a lot to learn buddy. You disgust me." Suddenly I'm seeing a little more Gretchen Wilson in her career and a little less Taylor Swift.

At the Immunity Challenge, the first four players to toss a coconut into a ring moved on to a second round, where they had to crack open coconuts and then spitting the juice into a container until it reached a certain level. The final four contestants were Whitney, Dawn, Sophie and Jim, so three of them had a distinct advantage when it came to busting nuts and spitting out the creamy white liquid that came out. Unfortunately for Dawn, she is a devout had little practice in life to prepare herself for the challenge.

On the other hand, Jim attended the University of Michigan, so he had no problem tossing balls, busting nuts and spitting out the creamy goodness. He ended up winning the Immunity Necklace when Sophie swallowed her milk and vomited it back up just as she was about to hit her fill-line.

Jim went on to propose giving the necklace to Ozzy just before the vote at Tribal Council and making a last second plea for the Upolu Alliance to vote out Cochran instead since they wouldn't have a chance to discuss who to change their vote to. 

At Tribal Council, Savaii's remaining members, or a least Jim, continued to attack Cochran for flipping alliances. Cochran rationalized his decision by saying, "I didn't mentally prepare for this for 11 years to have my fate decided by drawing a rock out of a bag. There's a reason why the last time people drew rocks was Season 4...That's not the essence of Survivor, it's about taking control of my own fate." 

Jim responded by questioning Cochran's integrity, knowing that was an important factor to Upolu Tribe members like Coach and Brandon. "I saved Cochran in the First vote. I saved Cochran in the second vote. Keith, Whitney and I saved Cochran in the third vote. Then Ozzy saved him at Redemption Island...I've gotten to know the Upolu Tribe over the past couple days, and there's not a single one of them who would let someone fight their battles for them, and there's not a singe person among that tribe that would do something so dishonorable, in my opinion."

After his rant on playing honestly, Jim went back on his plan to give Ozzy the Immunity Necklace and kept it for himself instead. Ozzy made one last play to stay by pointing out that if he got sent to Redemption Island he'd be fishing for one person and not fourteen, allowing him to stock up on protein and regain his strength. "I hope to see all of you coming through there, and I'll make you a nice fish and send you on your way."

Ozzy was ultimately voted out, and he headed to Redemption Island where he immediately caught a 15 pound fish that he shared with Keith...Also, I'm also pretty sure that Ozzy's blurred out eviction vote read "Cockless" instead of Cochran, or at least something very similar.

With this week's episode featuring two Tribal Councils, the contestants were given the option of playing in the second Immunity Challenge or feasting on pastries and ice coffee until it ended. The only tribe mates who decided to compete were the former Savaii members Jim, Dawn and Whitney, with Whitney outlasting Dawn standing on a plank and balancing a ball on an arch.

Russell Hantz and Russell's Nephew both wearing Tap-Out/Affliction style t-shirts? Well at least we know they have Wal-marts in Texas.

Dawn gained the support of the Upolu when she said she'd compete as long as she could so they would be able to keep eating. That rubbed Albert the wrong way, who saw her trying to "eek" her way into their alliance. Russell's Nephew "tapped out" from eating too much, prompting Cochran to pat him and say, "You can rest your head on my shoulder..." just like any good prison bitch would.

At Tribal Council Dawn said, "I don't think I would have eaten the food today to be honest. I really did see this as one tribe, so that was hard for me to watch them eat." Russell's Nephew took exception when he replied, "I love you Dawn, but you told us you had wanted to stay up there as long as possible so we could eat...You just contradicted what you just said."

When Dawn interjected by saying that it was just hard for her to watch them eat since she was hungry but had to compete for Immunity in order to secure her own safety, Russell's Nephew said, "I'm don't buy it." That's why Savaii Tribe, excluding Cochran, is going to be picked off...We're trying to be nice about it, but sometime it just gets on your nerves...I can promise you Jeff, that none of us are going to stop until that whole Savaii Tribe is completely (hand gesture).

Despite Russell's Nephew's bizarre hostility towards Dawn, Jim was voted out and sent to Redemption Island by the rest of the Upolu Tribe, which has to be concerned with Russell's Nephew's inability to keep his mouth shut regarding their overall game strategy.

Ranking the Survivors:

10. Jim - The weakest competitor and least liked of the three former Savaii tribe members stuck at Redemption Island.
9. Keith - Keith probably has the best chance of taking Ozzy out at the Redemption Island, just so long as the Challenge doesn't involve swimming or climbing trees.
8. Ozzy - Ozzy on Redemption Island is kind of like the final episode of Lost. It's not in Purgatory, he's in Heaven. He can spear dive and climb coconut trees in peace without the pressure of having to think.
7. Dawn - She obviously needs to pay for saying it was "difficult" to compete as hard as she could and forgo food so Upolu's former tribe members could sit and eat pastries.
6. Cochran - He made a big move to go from in the mix with Ozzy as a strategic player in the Savaii Tribe, to the becoming most expendable member of the Upolu Alliance. I guess they don't teach logic at Harvard Law School. Cochran still needs to make another big move in this game in order to get numbers in his favor if he wants to make it to the final 2 or 3.
5. Albert - Given that he's probably the biggest physical threat in the game, the fact that he has his own opinions and is not necessarily willing to blindly vote out whoever Coach is targeting is probably not going to go over too well with The Dragon Slayer. Along with Cochran, I think Albert is in the most need of, and probably the most likely to make a big move in this game.
4. Rick - Pros, the only time he may have spoke all season long was when he told Christine "good luck" at her Redemption Challenge, only to have her promptly flip him off. Cons, he wears a cowboy hat and has a huge mustache...Wait, those are neither pros nor cons. Unfortunately, that's about all I have on this guy.
3. Russell's Nephew - Everyone wants to bring him along with them to the Finals, but his mouth might make him liability before he ever gets that chance.
2. Edna - The perfect mix of flying under the radar and not being a strong enough player to be a threat to anyone. An ideal candidate to take to the Finals in the event that Russell's Nephew is unable to fulfill his duties as Least Likely to Win.
1. Coach - People are buying into Coach as the leader of the Upolu alliance. Then again, Survivor is a lot like a horse don't necessarily want to be in the lead early.

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