Tuesday, September 14, 2010

BBB12 (Blogging Big Brother 12) - "This is like a Texas bar fight...you wake up the next morning and your testicles hurt"

Last week we saw the four rather close knit contestants who remained in the house forced with the task of dwindling their group down to the final three. With Lane and Britney up for nomination, Britney lobbied Hayden to stay in the game by noting that she'd be a wise choice to take to the final two because she has plenty of enemies on the jury. She also had a plan in place with Brigade member Lane to eliminate Enzo from the game in the event that either of them won the Power of Veto given that the holder of that privilege would have been the sole member in the house with a vote to determine who got eliminated.

Unfortunately for Britney and Lane, Hayden won the Power of Veto. That forced Lane to run back to the Brigade with his tail between his legs as if he he had never planned to defect. Much to Lane's chagrin Enzo and Hayden decided to tell Britney about the Brigade alliance out of respect for her game and friendship so she would know why precisely she was being evicted in advance instead of being surprised. This did not go over well with pageant queen Britney, who broke down in tears due Lane having played her in developing a side alliance with her. Seeing Britney cry was obviously Lane's "Grinch gone good moment," as he responded in confessional by stating, "To see Britney hurt that bad was like one of my good dogs died - it crushed me." By that logic Rachel's eviction was akin to the emotion that Lane felt after he was forced to drown a golden retriever that he once owned because it was mentally challenged and ravaged by doggie herpes. 
P.S., all people from Texas are fucking idiots. And yes, that means you too Mathew MacConaughey.

Given time to accept the Brigade alliance, Britney ultimately made amends with Lane, Hayden and Enzo before leaving the house. Enzo even went as far to say to her at the Eviction Ceremony, "We definitely felt the respect to tell you about the BG this week so there was no playing games. We wanted to be dead up and honest with you. If Nick (Britney's fiance back home) wants to punch me in the face after this, he definitely can. I'll give him one shot - and that's it." Britney then moved on to her post eviction interview with Julie Chen. When reminded that she was off to the Jury House where she'd be reunited with rival Rachel, Britney made a bitter beer face and exclaimed, "OH GOD!"

Hayden, Lane and Enzo proceeded to the three part competition to see who would win the ever important final Head of Household. The first part was an endurance challenge where they had to endure pouring water as they were slammed back and forth into two walls lined with mattresses. Weak in physical challenges, Enzo quickly dropped out and fixed himself some pizza and soup as he watched Hayden and Lane wear themselves down. That turned out to be an epic battle that Lane compared to "a Texas bar fight, you get slammed from wall to wall, people pour alcohol (and) water on your head, and you wake up the next morning and your testicles hurt." Strangely, if you replace the word "hurt" in that analogy with "have warts on them," you just nailed Brendon's quote after his first night in bed with Rachel.

Hayden won stage one of the HOH competition shortly after Lane proclaimed, "I just ripped my whole ass!" This gave Hayden a free pass to the third and final stage of the HOH Competition against the winner of stage two in order to decide the final Head of Household. Lane ended up winning stage two by defeating Enzo in a contest to identify morphed photos of two Big Brother 12 housemates, pitting him against Hayden.

Back in the Jury House Matt informed his close friend Ragan that he had lied to the house about his wife having a serious illness. Much like Kathy Ragan was hurt, and he stopped speaking to Matt. Ragan also continued his verbal assault on Rachel. When she took exception to his assertion that she played a poor social game in BB12 Ragan stated, "You're right, the problem was with everyone else and not you. It was just magic that when you left the house that people stopped arguing."

Finally, we got to see some previously unseen clips in a boring recap episode last Sunday. Matt showed his freaky side in response to a clip of Kristen eating a spider on a dare when she was in the house by stating, "Level 1 - a chick eating a spider is awesome! Level 2 - a good looking chick eating a spider, super awesome! Level 3 - a good looking chick eating a spider totally unprovoked, that is the coolest thing in the world, they don't make chicks like that where I come from!" Somehow I think Matt and former Brigade alliance member Lane are going to end up getting a reality show road tripping to bars and strip clubs across the country so they can fight the boyfriends of hot girls and explore their deepest inner fetishes...which is a show that will end with either a kiss or an awkward touch in a cheap hotel room in a muscle milk, beer and spider venom induced haze.

Big Brother 12 Power Ratings - Each week I rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after week 9:

The Power Ratings are too close to call at this point, as they will come down to who wins the third and final stage of the Head of Household Competition between Hayden and Lane (to be revealed in the final episode). Hayden is the strongest competitor, and that could cause Lane to take Enzo with him to the final two in the event that he wins HOH. Enzo also has an agreement with Hayden to take each other to the final two, so he might not be in that bad of a position even though he is out of the running for the final HOH. With Enzo playing a strong social game and having come up with the idea to form the Brigade on day two, I wouldn't be surprised if he is the one who ends up winning BB12. I also like Britney to win the prize for America's Favorite House Guest that is determined via a public vote in a landslide.

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