Thursday, October 30, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "You're so beautiful"

This week at Coyopa began with Dale angry at the rest of his tribe because his mouth ended up costing him his daughter, Kelley, who got voted out because he couldn't keep his hidden sexual tension towards Missy in his pants.

Knowing that he was Coyopa's next target, Dale showed Jon his "Immunity Idol" in order to try and stay in the game, and Jon seemed to buy it even though it was really a prosthetic.

At Hunahpu, Jeff Probst visited camp with his offer for the bag of rice that the tribe was desperate for.

"There's never been a tribe in the history of Survivor that has needed as much help as you guys have...First you lose your flint...Now you're completely out of rice and you need help again!"

Jeff noted Hunahpu's exorbitant food consumption as a reason why they've dominated the challenges thus far, and demanded a steep price to re-fill their food bag, namely their tarp, blankets, hatchet, hammer, one of their two pots, and their extra flint.

After accepting Jeff's offer, that left Hunahpu with only a machete, a single pot, and a flint, which essentially left them starting the game over.

Not everybody at Hunahpu was on board with making that trade, as Jeremy wanted to keep their comfort items in hopes of being able to bed down one of the girls since his wife had been evicted.

Unfortunately, his pleas fell on deaf ears...Especially the ears of the women.

The Reward Challenge required one person from each tribe navigate an obstacle course blindfolded, study a braille puzzle, and then take puzzle pieces back through the obstacle course to the other side and assemble the puzzle they touched from memory.

With Reed squaring off against Baylor, Jeff Probst noted how there was a "lot of head bopping into poles," which actually had nothing to do with Reed fame whoring himself out and dating Clay Aiken.

While Reed Kelly is no stranger to his head "bopping into poles," if Clay Aiken is repulsed by getting kissed by a male model type gay guys, I'm starting to wonder exactly what he's into.

Reed ended up winning for Hunahpu, which sent Baylor to Exile Island along with Natalie, who volunteered to go along in hopes of gaining some goodwill in the event of a merge.

I'm wondering, are Natalie and her sister Nadiya smokers?

While Hunahpu ended up winning a feast as a result of the Reward Challenge, they also had to deal with a rain storm without a tarp or any real shelter of any sorts, making Jeremy a prophet of sorts.

The Immunity Challenge required the tribes scale a wall, push a huge cube over to posts and grab bags of puzzle pieces, and then solve that puzzle.

Hunahpu ended up coming from behind to win, sending Coyopa to Tribal Council once again.

Before Tribal Council Dale told Jon that if he didn't get voted out he'd give him his Immunity Idol, which was in fact fake, in order to get Missy out.

Jon told Missy and Baylor of Dale's offer, who wanted to split the votes between Dale and Keith 3-2 in order to make sure that Dale went home.

However, Jon and Jaclyn were still undecided about how to vote, and wanted to make their decision on who they could trust going forward.

In the end, Jon didn't fall for Dale's fake Idol trick, and Dale was voted out 3-2 pursuant to Missy and Baylor's plan, much to his dismay.

Jon must have been feeling it as well, because he leaned over to his Miss Michigan girlfriend (the real Miss Michigan, not his hand...Because that would have been weird) and said, "You're so beautiful."

Say what you want about Jon Misch, but the dude's not a liar...Jaclyn Schultz is beautiful.

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