Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Blogging Survivor - San Juan del Sur: Because if there's one thing that John Rocker and the gay guy from New York City could possibly bond over, it's that they're both pitchers.

Survivor - San Juan del Sur: Blood vs. Water began in Nicaragua with most of the pairs of loved ones being dropped off on a beach with nothing but a flint to spend the night alone together.

However, ex Atlanta Brave John Rocker seemed to have a comfort advantage over the other contestants, as Jeff Probst allowed him to be dropped off with two pillows. 

To start off, we learned some additional background information as the duos struggled to make camp for the night.

For example, who would have ever guessed the the cheerleader mom from Texas had been divorced three times, and that her twenty-year old daughter Baylor had taken on the maternal role in the relationship? (By the way, that was a rhetorical question.)

We also found out that Kelley and her father have had a strained relationship at times, which is something that you would have never guessed from Dale's Twitter handle, FarmGuy69...And no, Dale's not 69-years-old, he's just 55 and creepy.

Two time Amazing Race veterans Nadiya and Natalie yelled at each other in a foreign language that I quickly identified as Fatty.

Meanwhile, the redneck father and son firefighter duo from Louisiana managed to lose the striker for their flint, causing them to spend the night without fire and argue about who was smarter.

Or as Keith, the father, said to his son, "Your mind is about as strong as that rock," which I think is some sort of redneck proverb.

After meeting with Jeff Probst, the loved ones were all divided into separate tribes, with Natalie and Nadiya both deciding to use their buffs as girdles instead of bikini tops or mini-skirts like the hot girls do.

The initial Reward Challenge involved solving a rope maze and tossing rings to retrieve two platforms the fastest.

In a twist, the challenge only consisted of two total competitors, one from each team, a loved one against a loved one, with the loser going immediately to Exile Island.

Jeremy ended up beating his wife Val (not literally...well literally, but not in a Ray Rice kind of way) to give the Hunapuh Tribe fire and beans. He also had to immediately select a member of his own tribe to join his wife on Exile Island.

Interestingly, without even asking if he could volunteer to go himself, Jeremy sent another dude, Keith, the inept firefighter who admitted he lost his striker and broke his flint on night one, to spend the night with his wife.

Back at Hunahpu Jeremy lamented about sending his wife to Exile Island, but not for too long, as quickly reached out to the ladies and struck up a two person alliance with Kelley...Natalie...AND Missy.

At Coyopa, Dale felt ostracized as the old guy, but found a tag with an emblem on it that he took to use as a fake Immunity Idol in case he needed it. He also broke his glasses in half so he could use two lenses to better start a fire for the tribe to show his worth.

Meanwhile, Val and Keith both got clues for their tribes' Immunity Idols at Exile Island. And while Keith looked at Val skeptically since he had never been further north than Arkansas and she was black, they ended up bonding since her husband and he were both firemen.

Kelly noted how she understood Drew, who was trying trying to be the alpha male and take charge around camp, by relating his behavior to being in a relationship with her boyfriend, John Rocker.

John Rocker's girlfriend Kelly then went on to call Drew "just a dumb young guy." 

Wes outed John Rocker, who idiotically tried to conceal that he was an infamous ex major leaguer.

Keep in mind that this wasn't a situation where the producers got involved and a twenty something-year-old weather bunny for her local sports network claimed that she recognized Gary Hogoboom from his two starts for the Dallas Cowboys ten years before she was even born.

John Rocker is a guy who continues to make news for his racist comments and ties to the baseball steroid scandal several years after he was all but banished from the league. 

After discovering poisonous sap falling from the branches above the shelter he was building Drew noted, "We got poisonous sap, we got scorpions. Shoot, there could be a puma running around here that I don't know about. There are definitely dangers far from anything I know in Florida around here."

Sadly, I used to live in Florida, and the poisonous sap was probably coming from a tree called "Poison Wood" that is indigenous to Florida...Kind of like scorpions and pumas are.

The First Immunity Challenge was a team race up a tower, under an obstacle, and then over three walls where four people from each team then had to solve a puzzle to win.

Despite an early lead for Coyopa, Hunahpu ended coming from behind to win Immunity

Heading into Tribal Council for Coyopa, Dale wanted to target Nadiya based upon her ruthless strategy on the Amazing Race.

Meanwhile, the girls all tried to align and target Dale, who they thought was the weakest of the male competitors on their tribe. Fittingly, Josh, the gay guy entertained both plans, and seemed to be the swing vote.

At Tribal Council, Nadiya took an optimistic approach saying, "When given lemons, make margaritas." However, she also kept calling Josh her "girlfriend," although he noted in private how that is a term that people should never say to him even though he's gay.

If there's anything that John Rocker and a gay guy from New York City could possibly bond over, it's that they're both "pitchers." 

In the end, Josh stayed out of the male/female drama and cast an androgynous vote for Baylor, and Nadiya was sent back home to India.

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