Thursday, November 29, 2012

Blogging Survivor - Philippines: "This means so much more to me than pouring drinks for girls in bars"

This week's episode began with Lisa declaring that she went against her plan to vote with Malcolm and Denise in order to save Skupin, when in fact her vote ended up saving Peter.

Not one to be happy that she was sticking around even though the ass end of her alliance nearly defected, Abi demanded to know who voted against her at Tribal. She began by snapping, "Thanks for your vote Mike, it was lovely."

When Penner acknowledged that it was him and not Mike, he explained to Abi how he didn't like her referring to him at Tribal Council as "Plan B" to get voted off, and went on to say,  "I don't like being played like that, it pissed me off."

Abi-Maria Gomes making the "bitter bitch face."

Of course, Penner did fuck up by letting his emotions get in the way and voting for Abi instead of going along with the rest of the Kalabaw Tribe and voting for Peter, as the semi-retarded Carter had to explain to him.

And even though Penner's vote did leave Peter in the game, it also sent Jeff Kent home, so I guess I can't complain.

Sporting a porn stache throughout the 1990's and the 2000's, I used to think that Jeff Kent was behind the times. In actuality, he was just a decade ahead of the "grow a mustache to support testicular cancer research month."

With Lisa conflicted about having gone back on her word, Malcolm assured her that he didn't take it personal since it was "just a game."

Meanwhile, Penner mind-fucked Lisa by psycho analyzing her life, specifically by mentioning while she had to be her family's bread-winner even as a child while still trying to please everyone.

That is, Lisa tried to please everyone except for Molly Ringwald...Because she was a total bitch on The Facts of Life.

And while you could sense that she was starting to view Penner as a potential "soul mate," it was obvious that he was just simply just playing to her emotions as a fellow unemployed actor.

In one of Survivor's better Reward Challenges, the competitors divided up into two teams for the right to bring toys to a local Filipino village, in return for a traditional feast.

In what is becoming a ritual that shows Brazil's lack of competitiveness in events other than soccer or bikini waxing, Abi sat out the Challenge, which involved navigating an obstacle course filled with a mixture of water, mud and rice, and then shooting balls that they had retrieved into a "net-ball" style goal.

Denise, Malcolm, Carter and Penner's team ended up winning, handing them the opportunity to actually do something special for the local Filipino village.

When Penner approached the local children by introducing himself, and telling that back in America his name was "normal," the children responded to him by repeating, "Normal," as if that was his name, which was kind of cute.

Malcolm, who turned his Ivy League education at Dartmoth into a bar tending gig in a California beach town, seemed to finally put things in perspective. "This means so much more to me than pouring drinks for girls in bars."

Then again, he had already dry-humped Angie Layton on national TV, so he already crossed hooking up with a Mormon off of his bucket list.

Back at camp, Abi made her case for Lisa to vote out Penner...By accusing her of being a "double agent," and calling her "gullible" and "naive" to her face.

Abi proclaimed that she found a giant clam...Which is exactly what Peter said when he formed an "alliance" with her.

Much like Peter last week, Artis was also getting frustrated with Abi's less than tactful approach to playing the game.

"Abi is just a loose cannon. She just thinks that she knows so much about the game, and so much about people in general. I don't know who told her that, but she needs to shut up before she screws everything all up."

The Immunity Challenge involved holding out a paddle and attempting to get six different balls to land in drilled out slots, all at one time.

Skupin ended up winning Immunity, mainly because that was a cool game to play around Easter back in the 70's, which may have ended up saving his ass with all of the new contestants wanting to target the returning players.

Before Tribal Council, Penner wanted Lisa to reconsider her game play by asking, "What story do you want to tell?"

While that obviously struck a chord with her, she responded by saying, "Man, my head is spinning, but I still want to be loyal," referring to her original alliance with Pete, Abi, and Artis.

Retro Commercial Break: Wendy's "Where's the Beef?"

At Tribal Council, Jeff asked Lisa to describe how she had been received since the merge.

She responded by saying, "I actually experienced more grace from the tribe I was against, than the people I was trying to protect the numbers for...And then the proverbial poop hit the fan, and the fan was pointed toward me."

Abi responded by saying, "I felt I had shown grace to her, but apparently not," apparently forgetting how she had treated her throughout the game.

Before the vote, Abi proclaimed, "I am not very sure about Lisa at this point," not realizing that she was not the weak link in their alliance.

As it turned out, Artis was voted out 5-4 over Penner, but it was Skupin, not Lisa, who saved Penner and voted to send his former alliance member home.

Funny enough, Abi once again looked at Lisa accusingly, even though she had really foolishly remained loyal to Abi and Peter.

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