Thursday, October 2, 2008

Top Model: "She's Just Being European"

I must admit that I tuned in about 10 minutes late, so I picked up in the middle of the first challenge. Apparently, the challenge dealt with the models receiving crappy, oversized catalogue clothes and being forced to assemble an outfit from racks of that crappy clothing that fit them using "any means necessary." From what I could gather, "any means necessary" meant jamming any loose object they could find in the back of that clothing to pull it tight on their body for a frontal visual inspection before judge Paulina Portzikova. The winner was the girl another Top Model blog referred to as Marilyn Manson without the makeup/could never be Linda Evangelista in spite of Tyra's comparison at the makeover, although I will never again refer to a rival ANTM blog. You get all your information here, understand? As winner, she got extra frames at the next photo

The photo shoot consisted of girls acting out L.A. natural disasters in miniature sets of the city. For example, we had earthquakes,rockslides, sandstorms, snowstorms, traffic jams, etc. The goal of the shoot was to "come through" all of the hair and makeup that was applied in a 1960's "mod" style.

And now we're off to discuss the Top Model Harem:
  • Sheena (The Asian Girl) - She continues to do well, but I just don't know how well. At the dress up competition it was described that "the resident sexpot" put on a distinctly "not sexy at all" outfit. Was that a good comment or a bad comment for our resident hoochie mama?At her photo shoot (as a sand storm) Mr. Jay commented (giggly) "I gotta say that I like it...I like it a lot." He also noted that she tried a variety of shots, and I could not ask for anything more. She was described at judging as having "magic," "personality," "spunk,"and "spark," but then Paulina added that those comments only referred to her personality, and not her look. I was confused when her photograph was ultimately called in the bottom half. Probably just anomaly given the praise she seems to be receiving from most of the judges. Or is it that Paulina hates her, and it is her vote that is weighing her down?
  • Samantha (The Blond 80's chick) - Well, after her "wakeup call" last week she once again blew the dress up challenge. She took a pair of long shorts and cut them into short-shorts, prompting Paulina to note that anyone who tried to order the shorts Sam was wearing from the catalogue would have sent them back as unrecognizable. I think the term that she used to describe how Sam performed in the challenge was"botched." Fortunately, Sam once again rocked her photo shoot as a tidal wave. The judges noted that she was able to contort her body, yet "maintain her face." This lead to Sam receiving picture of the week...worst to first!
  • Marjorie (The No Longer Blond French Girl) - This poor girl had a big time meltdown. After being criticized at the dress up challenge, she slumped against a pole (while she should have been standing),prompting Paulina to ask her what was wrong. When the other girls (including Samantha) questioned her desire & esteem, Paulina stood up for her and said that it wasn't poor esteem, just that she was being European. She was again criticized at her photo shoot where she was supposed to be a traffic jam, but she pulled off at least once decent picture that the judges liked. When Nigel noted that Paulina "runs to her defense every week,"Paulina simply agreed. Well then.
This was all in all a pretty boring week. The only real entertainment aside from Marjorie's meltdown was from Clark, last weeks photo shoot winner/the model who finished in the #1 spot. Of course, she sought out a one on one confessional with the camera where she proclaimed that she was in the #1 slot and had nothing to worry about heading into this week's judging. Sniff around and smell the jinx...smell it...smell it.....Ah beautiful, smells like the smell of a fart in your cupped hand, doesn't it? Well, as you probably guessed, her photos were deemed to be mediocre and Clark was sent home in tears based upon the total body of her work.

Hit it Tyra:"You ready to be on top?"

Catch ya next week, baby.

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