Presidential Debate 3.0

I have elected not to blog the debate tonight. First of all, I am beginning to suffer political burnout in connection with this year's election. Secondly, the candidates are really just repeating the positions they previously stated in the prior debates. There was some good stuff tonight like McCain trying to distance himself from Bush two debates too late, and Obama explaining his prior political affiliations to the American public. But to be honest, I'm just not in the mood. So instead of blogging tonight's debate, I thought I'd post this thought along as I attempt to clear my head.

Years ago I erroneously came to the assumption that our President really cannot make that much of a difference given the current state of partisan gridlock in Congress. In fact, I became apathetic of my same old boring political routine and even stopped voting because I simply did not care anymore. After almost 8 years with George W. Bush as President I realized that I was wrong. I revised my prior assumption after realizing that while a President may not be able to make much of a positive difference in a short period of time, they can certainly can fuck things up and make things miserable for people pretty quickly. I now feel that the objective and goal of our President should be to move this country forward no matter how slow the process is. Our President should not just represent the desires of his or her party, but the common interests of all Americans that he or she is offering to partner with. While our President may not be able to accomplish miracles, our candidates should give everybody one thing during a time when things appear to be bleak and there does not seem to be too much to look forward to....an ideal of true hope, and that is what I hope for. So with that being said:

I hope that our new President will give the world hope that the United States will intervene on behalf of the weak when needed, but not play the role of a self interested interventionist by sticking our noses in other's business when it should be clear to all that our involvement is not wanted.

I hope that our new President will give minorities and the disenfranchised public hope that their voices are being heard, and I hope that America is color and class blind enough to end artificial divisions in this country when we are all pretty much the same and dealing with the same problems.

And finally, I hope that each and everyone of you finds a candidate that you personally believe will advance this country into the future without disenfranchising or dividing voters of different political persuasions, socio-economic classes, or religions; and most importantly, I hope that our political parties will offer us the chance to explore those types of candidates and give the public a chance to pursue hope and happiness, and not policies of alienation and resentment.

No, I don't think that any particular candidate can step in and fix our current economic crisis in the short term future, but our President elect can step in and offer hope and the prospect of happiness in the future, and I guess that is all that this formerly disenfranchised voter can hope for right now.

P.S. I'm sorry for my shortcomings tonight.

Oui Oui, Me Pee Pee

This week's show began with a black dress and heels "signature pose" photo shoot challenge. Tyra gave the models coaching and then let them see the first half of their digital photo frames before giving them more feedback and taking the second half of their frames. The weekly photo shoot also involved the models' self proclaimed signature poses, but in the context of a "Celebrity Award Show Disasters" theme. For example, Marjorie was asked to pose as if she had to pee but couldn't get out of her red carpet gown in order to do so. However, I didn't completely understand the concept of the shoot at first, so when she kept repeating (in her cute little French accent) what her assignment was, I took it to mean that SHE was the one who had to "Oui-Oui," when she really didn't. Which is good, because I don't like to think that supermodels ever.....well, go to the "TWA-let." I am a believer in "immaculate constipation."

Of course, the episode started off with some of the girls (Samantha, Elina, and I believe Lauren Brie) questioning whether Analeigh deserved to continue on the competition while sunbathing at the house. Don't say I didn't warn you. Since we are getting down to the end, here is brief analysis on each of the girls still in contention.

Marjorie (the double winner) - Marjorie (the French no longer blond girl) wins the initial "signature" photo shoot with her 'Hunch Back of Notre Dame" pose. After her initial feedback in which Tyra had her pull back on the hunchiness just a tad, Marjorie nailed it, causing Tyra to proclaim" she wrapped into a Hunch Back of Notre Dame bow and made it beautiful!" At the "Celebrity Award Show' themed photo shoot, Marjorie incorporated her signature "hunchback" pose in the aforementioned "I have to pee with my gown on" scenario. Her photos were complimented for both her elegant positioning, as well as her facial expression. In fact, she was so well received that Tyra proclaimed "J'adore how she is making a pee-pee!" Need I say anymore? Marjorie won both challenges and was the first model called this week.

Analeigh (on the way out" according to the other models) - Despite getting killed at the opening of the episode by the other girls for being a "figure skater" and not a "model," Analeigh completely nails her photo shoot as a "reporter with attitude." Maybe disinterest is just an easy pose to hit, but she did it and had the judges drooling. Her photo was called second this week.

Mckey (how the fuck is she still here?) - I think she is ugly, but she keeps taking pretty pictures. That pretty much sums it up.

Samantha (the 80's blond who is getting cocky and fat) - Despite a strong start to the competition and an initially bubbly personality, Sam has now taken her success too far and has started criticizing the other girls in confessionals. She also seems to have either gained a ton of weight because her face is swelling up like Liza Minelli trying to eat honey directly from a bees' nest. Somehow she pulls the number four photo in spite of comments like "not excited," "not excited," & she's "doing well." We'll have to wait and see if her success in this competition has any correlation to her swelling ego/weight gain.

Elina (her real tears look fake) - This poor little Russian girl actually cried real fucking tears during her photo shoot, only to be told that they did not look real on film. Damn, what does a Top Model have to do to get some love? Writing this caused me to search Youtube for a Flint Michigan oldie but goodie (okay, I was having problems remembering how to spell "tears,") but I came up with this so you can't make fun of me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeolH-kzx4c&NR=1 (for the original 1965 video go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrTnaPa9BaA&feature=related). Anyways, she managed to have her photo called fifth. Not only would I have ranked ? and the Mysterians (with bonus points for the old man belly blouse) higher, but I think Prince owes him some royalties for stealing his persona and idea to identify himself with a punctuation mark. For you historians out there, the original song title was "69 Tears," but the record label made them change it due to the sexual innuendo. The song was released in 1965, therefore confirming that the term "69" comes from the positioning, and NOT the year it was invented).

Joslyn (I got a Humpty-Hump nose) - Joslyn received fairly positive comments for her photos, causing her to break into tears at judging becasuse she always considered her nose "to be really big." I really can't say anything better than Humpty Hump did when he poetically noted in 1990:
"ladies, I'm really being sincere, because in the '69' my Humpty nose will tickle your rear." Anyways, here is the link to complete the Red Mieni's "trail of tears and rears:"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgohnTU9X0A

That brings us to the bottom two:

Sheena ("Whenever I think of Sheena, I think of boobs, butt and everthing just flying around everywhere, a/k/a the "hoochie." ((per Sam)) & Lauren Brie (I have a lot of friends!) - Sheena had been receiving props for toning down the 'hooch" and stepping up her model-esque presence, although her photos this week were not all that amazing according to the judges. On the otherhand, Lauren Brie (who I thought would win hands down) appears to have checked out mentally this week. Despite some of the best photos to date, she was criticized for her personality and inability to pose at both photo shoots this week. When she was ultimately told that she was going home for not having the right "personality," she could only respond by defensively proclaiming that she really is "fun and has a lot of friends back home!" Well, that didn't persuade the judges to change their minds', and Analeigh probably wouldn't agree with you anyway, so you best go get your stuff and leave.

Prediction, next week Joslyn goes home and Samantha gets another wakeup call.

Hit it Tyra: "Are you ready to be on top?"

Debatin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

Before I begin watching the debate, I would note that McCain has all but pulled his campaign out of the state of Michigan. Obviously, I'm a homer and all who wants to overstate the importance of his home state, but by doing so he almost guarantees that Obama wins the election unless McCain can lock up Florida. That is, unless the public perception of Obama rapidly deteriorates before the election. With that being said, and with Palin throwing the first few daggers on "Crusty Old White Guy's" behalf about Obama's ties to "terrorists" earlier this week, I look for some blood to be drawn tonight. Shall we find out? I believe we should.

I am fully aware that the opening question in both debates thus far has been directed to the democratic candidate on domestic economic policy, thereby causing me to launch into an "Adam Smith" like diatribe. Recognizing that no one in my viewing audience likes Adam Smith diatribes, I'm just going to TiVo through the first question and avoid the prospect of that happening yet again altogether. Especially since as I type this I see that the first question is an economic policy question directed toward Obama. Question about the Wall Street bailout: McCain goes Palin and does the"Wall Street to Main Street" analogy. I know that is supposed to make me think that they have the interests of the common person in mind over the elite stock trader types, but I'm sick of it. Seriously, how much is it to ask that I don't hear another empty fucking label like "hockey mom," "maverick," "celebrity," or "from Wall Street to Main Street" ever again? Also, did Palin have an affair? I just saw something about that in one of the tabloids at the grocery store today. God I hope she did, that would be a fucking hilarious contradiction on what she is supposed to stand for.

Obama's first response is super bumblefucky. I am very disappointed,as I had hoped he would clean that up between the debates. De-......uh......regulate...re-....uh.....regulate. I'm confused, and it is way too early for my head to hurt this bad.

Tom Brokaw talks REALLY fast. I mean REALLY fast. I think he might be some sort of a political robot. Also, the design of the town hall sucks. The candidates, or at least Obama, keeps looking directly at the audience as he speaks, not realizing that his back is to the camera THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME! Come on people, he either has to know this shit, or someone should have told him where to position himself for the camera before the debate!

Next question: A lady, who can barely read her own question (which she apparently scribbled on the palm of her own hand 5 minutes before the debate), asks how can we "trust either of you with our money with both parties...got us into this global economic crisis?" Say what??? Obama wants to invest in healthcare, deal with energy to prevent foreign dependency, make college more affordable, and find a way to milk rainbows for their pots of gold (I only made one of those up). Yet somehow he thinks doing so will result (under his plan) in a net spending cut........No, no it won't. It sounds great, but I promise you it won't. Healthcare affordability alone would necessitate a MAJOR tax increase and/or a MAJOR spending increase. McCain responds by noting that he has a record as a bipartisan reformer. Obviously, McCain needs to distance himself from Bush. What he needs to say is that "the presidency of G.W. Bush was a complete failure. You know it, I know it, the whole American public knows it. President Bush strayed from the party's principals...my principals. The Republicans, as a party, starting with myself as a leader, need to take our party back with NEW innovative policies and tax cuts that adhere to the principals that took this country out of stagflation and the energy crisis of the late 1970's, much like the crisis we are currently facing today." Is that so tough? I just made that up in less than 30 seconds, isn't that along the lines of what disenfranchised Republican voters want to hear? McCain ABSOLUTELY needs to SLAM Bush in order to distance himself from the ramifications of the current economic situation. He can't tiptoe around it because he doesn't want to hurt Bush's feelings. If he doesn't slam Bush, he has no chance of winning this election. I am pleased to note that someone has got to McCain and convinced himto turn his throat tumor away from the camera. In fact, I hardly even notice it tonight. However, could he tense up his shoulders a little bit more and look like a tiny, angry, balled up old man?

Obama makes a great statement about U.S. citizens taking the initiative about making energy changes in their everyday lives. Kind of reminds me of Kennedy's "ask not what your country can do for you,but what you can do for your country" statement, but without trying too hard to be that. He also notes our need to develop alternate energy sources and domestically produced fuel efficient cars. This is an excellent reach out to the interested constituent/challenge to those who want to make a difference. By far, my favorite moment of the debate thus far.

Question on three important policy priorities: healthcare, energy, and Social Security reform. McCain thinks all three can be accomplished at once. Obama thinks we need to prioritize. He wants to deal with energy right away and free ourselves from dependency on foreign oil within 10 years, which I'm all for. I especially liked how Obama subtly made an analogy to Kennedy making the challenge to put a man on the moon, an amazing feat that the country was able to put its mind to and accomplish. Obama is definitely drawing on those who compare him to Kennedy without blatantly throwing it in the public's faces and begging for their affirmation. He just drops a JFK policy reference and smoothly moves on. Second, he would deal with healthcare. Third, he would improve education (did I miss the question? I thought the third issue was Social Security reform? Oh well, if Palin can talk about whatever the fuck she wants to talk about, then so can Obama). Anyways, both candidates were solid in terms of their vision for addressing these pressing issues. Unfortunately there is not enough time under this debate format to go into any specifics, which is highlighted by Brokaw's zinger that unless the agreed upon time limits are enforced we will be facing a time crunch bigger than the Federal deficit. We'll give that round to Brokaw.

Question on whether a deadline should be set for Congress to address Social Security. Obama wants to....all right. I need to address this. Can McCain move his right elbow? Seriously. I attributed his rigidity to holding the mic while talking, but they just showed him in the background while Obama was speaking with that elbow still engaged in a locked position. Does he have Bob Dole pen envy? His left arm clearly moves. I mean, he hits the "gosh darn" motion with his left arm every time that he refers to the audience as "my friends," which is like twice every sentence. Moving on, Obama kind of drops the ball by acknowledging that he would probably not set his goals on addressing Social Security funding within 2 years, instead hoping to take care of that issue within his first term. Candidates have been pushing this issue to the backburner for at least 16 years now because of the political blood bath that it might become. I'd like to see someone with the chops to stand up and put a bright line date and challenge for Congress to address this issue.

I generally prefer privatization of markets, as you know, but I am a bit uncomfortable with McCain's plan to give employer's tax credits so they can shop for the best health care plans for their employees. Right now the issue is that there are not enough affordable plans with decent coverage on the market for employers to choose from. From my experience, right now you either get minimal coverage at a lower cost, or you are subject to a plan that routinely doubles in premium every year. The answer is two fold. Cutting unnecessary health care costs (starting with the Federal government and the horror stories of fraudulent billing), and developing some sort of universal benefit floor (either from a public or private provider) that treats everyone relatively the same. In fact, I may even be in favor of some level of minimal coverage provided by the government as a safety net, which can be supplemented by plans provided by private employers and insurers.

Interesting debate on foreign policy in Pok-E-ston, Afghanistan, and the Tolly-bon (thereby making me incredibly giddy). Brokaw has completely lost control of the debate at this point, allowing each candidate to completely disregard their time limits. This is actually a good thing, because it is the first time all night that we have gone into a substantive policy debate instead of references to key words and catch phrases. Regardless of how you stand on the issue, at least we know exactly what each candidate believes in doing in regards to the Middle East.

Question on U.S. policy on Russia. It kind of scares me that Obama all but calls out Russia as evil. He's certainly not winning any friends there if he wins. McCain has a similar stance on Russia's recent aggressions, but tip toes around the issue a little more diplomatically. On the other hand, Obama follows up his hard line approach on assisting Israel against any Iranian threat by noting that he would use any and all diplomatic options to prevent any such threats from coming into fruition. That's the Obama I want to hear. The U.S. does not need to be running rogue in the eyes of the international community. If all other options fail, fine, but let's get the cooperation of NATO and the UN in some of these more difficult situations.

And fittingly, the debate concludes with McCain and Obama embracing directly in front of Brokaw's teleprompter so he can't read his sendoff. Brokaw handles it in good spirits. In fact, speaking of spirits, old Tom was probably the first one in line to get a drink after the debate ended.

All in all, the candidates again were exceptionally cordial. I was sure McCain would attack Obama out of desperation, but it never manifested. I thought both candidates performed fairly well. I particularly enjoyed the end of the debate where they basically ignored the agreed upon format and got into the details of their respective policies. That part of the debate was actually pretty even. McCain still seems a bit rehearsed though, and his constant use of the term "my friend" made him seem as if he was forcing his friendly side on America. You either come across as warm and likable or you don't. Adding "my friend" to every sentence just makes it seem as if you are trying too hard, and nobody likes the guy or girl who tries too hard. On the other hand, Obama just has that natural likable swagger about him, even when he is bumblefucking around.

Flying a Cargo Plane Full of Rubber Dog Shit out of Hong Kong

Let's start by noting that if I was Gwen Ifill, I would have started the Vice Presidential debate by asking Sarah Palin whether or not she had ever seen a polar bear, an igloo, or an Eskimo. I would have also asked her what it is like to rule an island state. I once met a girl from Alaska in college and I asked her some of those very same questions. Needless to say she wasn't amused, and I went home alone that night. Good times!

Biden starts out with a question on the Wall Street bailout. He answers by stating that it is the result of some of the worst economic policies ever implemented over the last 8 years. Sorry Senator, but the financial crisis began in the late 90's with .com stocks trading on hype far above their value and then collapsing. Then we had the accounting crisis, where some of the major CPA firms and many corporations were busted for "cooking their books" so their stocks would trade at inflated prices. This was already illegal, they just didn't get caught until then. False gains from the aforementioned markets caused a huge housing boom, which drove housing costs up well above their actual worth. When those markets came back to reality, the banking industry and secondary mortgage traders were then left holding the bill for mortgages that many Americans could simply no longer afford since their houses were never worth what they agreed to pay for them. So really, I don't know how the current state of the economy has to do with any policy over the past 8 years. Perhaps we could have regulated the banking market a little closer to make sure bad loans were not extended, but at what price? Then we would have been left in a situation where only the wealthy could have afforded a home, which would have been a whole different issue to debate. I could go on and on, so let's take a break and move on to Governor Palin.

In her first real comments before the American public, Governor Palin confirms that the economy is in trouble right now. How does she know this? Because she has been talking to other parents at soccer games.Well, she obviously didn't find out from John McCain, who doesn't think the economy is in bad shape, doesn't consider someone to be rich unless they have 5 million dollars, and has no idea how many houses he owns.

Biden takes time out from the next question to go back to the first question in order to criticize McCain for being out of touch in not recognizing that the economy is in trouble. Now that is how you debate Senator!!

Palin follows up by noting that while she respects Biden's years of service, Americans are craving something "new and different." Ummm, Sarah, Biden is not running for President. Barack Obama is, and he is the definition of "new and different" when compared to McCain. Since McCain can't distinguish himself from the Bush Administration, does that mean she is voting for Obama? Also, for the remainder of this debate (and the election for that matter), any time somebody refers to McCain as "Maverick," I am replacing it with "crazy old white guy" in my head. Now I feel better.

On the issue of subprime lending, Palin notes that lenders are at blame for convincing Americans that they should buy a $300k house when they could only afford a $100k house. Fair enough, but let's not say that it was "deceiving." It takes two to tango. The American public needs to take some blame for not realizing that they are buying a house $200k above their means. As a potential leader, I would like to see a candidate set an example by going on record to say "knock this shit off, you know better, so don't do it." Well shit, she essentially said just that after I hit unpause on my DVR. Am I turning into an Alaskan Nazi? Ihope not, because I HATE Alaskan Nazis. Also, I am now replacing the term "hockey mom" in my head with, "I'm even whiter than a soccer mom, so if Obama scares you vote for me" for the rest of the election.

I really don't agree with Biden's views on regulation/deregulation and taxation, but he knows and sells his shit.

When Palin mentioned Obama and Biden's voting record, Biden threw a stat back at her about McCain having voted exactly the same way that completely shut her down. It may have been a lie, but you could tell Palin had just memorized a stat and had no idea whether or not McCain really did vote the same way as Obama & Biden did on that issue. I must admit though, I agree whole heartedly with Palin's taxation ideology. Like it or not, you must give tax breaks up top to corporations in a global economy to create jobs. Otherwise they will simply move somewhere else, as labor will always be cheaper in developing nations.

And as I type, Biden just hit Palin with the "ultimate bridge to nowhere" comment. It really didn't have to do with anything specific that he was saying, which is great because there is no way Palin can really respond. I also like how he waited a little bit to throw the first jab of the debate. He didn't come across as being too eager or aggressive in throwing the first stone, but it came at a time when the debate was just getting comfortable, which caused everyone to sit up in their seats and take notice of what he was saying. Well done!

Biden couldn't pronounce the word "characterize." He looks like he is completely disgusted with himself in complete contrast to Obama who bumblefucked almost every point he tried to make in the Presidential Debate. Even Palin is holding her own. I will go on record as saying that the VP candidates are far more articulate than either of the Presidential candidates...at least at this point.

Biden follows up his "ultimate bridge to nowhere comment" by complimenting Palin for taking on oil companies and implementing a"windfall profits" tax. I don't know if he did it on purpose, but after a slight dig it certainly makes him less threatening and likable. I would have liked to have see Biden question Palin on how her "windfall profit" tax on oil companies is consistent with her overall policy on relaxing taxes on corporations. She would have been forced to respond by saying that it was a case by case basis on what is just and fair, and he could have used that to open the door abd question her general philosophy of opposing market regulation in order to protect that American public. Jesus, I think I just vomited in my mouth. I feel like I am questioning my own economic beliefs analyzing this. To quote R.E.M., am I "losing my religion?" I am now soundly AGAINST windfall profit taxes on oil companies for the sole purpose of preserving my free market beliefs and allowing me to sleep at night. Let's move on.

Next up, a question on global warming. Of course Palin is an expert because she lives on the nation's only arctic island that has penguins. She refuses to address a potential cause for Global warming, while Biden states that he clearly believes that the cause is man-made. Let's just agree to disagree and cut our losses now.

In the "let's put Palin on the spot" arena, the next question involves same sex partner benefits. Strangely, even Biden takes an extremely narrow definition of what he supports (visitation rights, life insurance rights, etc.). This allows Palin to agree with Biden and tiptoe around the issue of whether or not she supports gay marriage. And as I unpause, Gwen Ifill grabs control and puts Biden on the spot by straight the fuck up asking if he supports gay marriage. He says "no, neither Barack Obama nor I support [gay marriage]." This again allows Palin to agree that she does not support gay MARRIAGE. However, she is left off the hook when she avoids answering whether or not she agrees with Biden that same sex partners should have equal CIVIL rights (implying marriage is a religious determination as Biden suggested). So much for Gwen Ifill being an Obama cronie, she should have put Palin on the spot there just as she did Biden.

Biden sharpened up in noting, "John McCain, as my mother would say, God love him, but John McCain has been dead wrong" (about the policies involving the war in Iraq, including the erroneous assumption that we would be greeted as liberators, that the Sunnis and Shiites get along, and that the Iraq has anything to do with the war on terror). Palin digs in her heels and insists that the war on terror and Al-Qaeda is centrally located in Iraq. Christ, now I'm calling for her to withdraw from the ticket.

Palin again goes back to the John McCain is a (now replaced with)"crazy old white guy" label, which really was not even used in connection with any particular incident or policy. She's just shopping a label at this point. While she has held up well to this point, I think Biden is starting to beat her down on substance, knowledge and material.

Biden gets firm and notes how he has not heard how any of McCain's policies are different than G.W. Bush's on Iran, Israel, Afganistan, Pakistan, etc. He ties that in with our need as a nation to regain international respect. Palin seems to know what she is talking about by referring to "SURGE" principals, but unfortunately I have no idea what they are, and she doesn't even attempt to explain that policy.

Palin plays the "I'm not a Washington insider card." Dude, it's no wonder she wants to drill for gas in Alaska, because she's all about herself.

According to Palin, John McCain knows how to win a war. He does? Vietnam? Iraq? Oh wait, maybe she meant Grenada. My bad.

Palin starts talking about education, and how she respects Biden's position and with his wife being a teacher. Then she says something like "I trust that her award is in heaven" right before she begins to talk about our need to strengthen public schools. Was that a wink, wink "I'm going to push creationism in public schools comment?" Should I be afraid? Because I think I am.

Palin responds to a question about whether she is qualified to be VP by noting her executive experience of being the governor of a HUGE state (cough, cough...that has no people and that she has been in charge of for only a couple of months). Also, I've finally figured out this "bridge to nowhere" thing. Apparently it is a bridge from middle America to Alaska, and it is her access to that bridge that allows Sarah Palin to be so in touch with the heartland. I'm glad we finally got that figured out, and that my tax dollars supported it.

Towards the end of the debate Palin noted her family diversity given that it consists of "folks of all political persuasions." Not different races/ethnicities, gosh no, but both republicans and democrats. Of course, she fails to mention that the democrats in her family were sent off into the artic alone to die in an Eskimo tradition (even though her familiy has no Eskimo affiliation or ties). She also calls McCain a "crusty old white guy" at least 2 more times. I certainly don't think that is going to help with their campaign. Then again, maybe that is what middle America is telling her they want through "emails to nowhere."

All in all, Palin held her own, but simply did not have the material to keep up with Biden. Biden was sharp. He had a strong central message that he backed with substance, while Palin seemed to rely on too many catch phrases. and not enough substance Academic performance wise, I think Biden won 80/20. However, you can't rule out Palin having said all the right things that the swing vote in middle America wanted to hear. Also, I think I'm starting to believe US Weekly's theory that Palin's daughter is the real mother of the little Down's Syndrome baby. In fact, I no longer think I can be convinced otherwise, so don't even try me.

Top Model: "She's Just Being European"

I must admit that I tuned in about 10 minutes late, so I picked up in the middle of the first challenge. Apparently, the challenge dealt with the models receiving crappy, oversized catalogue clothes and being forced to assemble an outfit from racks of that crappy clothing that fit them using "any means necessary." From what I could gather, "any means necessary" meant jamming any loose object they could find in the back of that clothing to pull it tight on their body for a frontal visual inspection before judge Paulina Portzikova. The winner was the girl another Top Model blog referred to as Marilyn Manson without the makeup/could never be Linda Evangelista in spite of Tyra's comparison at the makeover, although I will never again refer to a rival ANTM blog. You get all your information here, understand? As winner, she got extra frames at the next photo shoot.....cool?

The photo shoot consisted of girls acting out L.A. natural disasters in miniature sets of the city. For example, we had earthquakes,rockslides, sandstorms, snowstorms, traffic jams, etc. The goal of the shoot was to "come through" all of the hair and makeup that was applied in a 1960's "mod" style.

And now we're off to discuss the Top Model Harem:

• Sheena (The Asian Girl) - She continues to do well, but I just don't know how well. At the dress up competition it was described that "the resident sexpot" put on a distinctly "not sexy at all" outfit. Was that a good comment or a bad comment for our resident hoochie mama?At her photo shoot (as a sand storm) Mr. Jay commented (giggly) "I gotta say that I like it...I like it a lot." He also noted that she tried a variety of shots, and I could not ask for anything more. She was described at judging as having "magic," "personality," "spunk,"and "spark," but then Paulina added that those comments only referred to her personality, and not her look. I was confused when her photograph was ultimately called in the bottom half. Probably just anomaly given the praise she seems to be receiving from most of the judges. Or is it that Paulina hates her, and it is her vote that is weighing her down?
• Samantha (The Blond 80's chick) - Well, after her "wakeup call" last week she once again blew the dress up challenge. She took a pair of long shorts and cut them into short-shorts, prompting Paulina to note that anyone who tried to order the shorts Sam was wearing from the catalogue would have sent them back as unrecognizable. I think the term that she used to describe how Sam performed in the challenge was"botched." Fortunately, Sam once again rocked her photo shoot as a tidal wave. The judges noted that she was able to contort her body, yet "maintain her face." This lead to Sam receiving picture of the week...worst to first!
• Marjorie (The No Longer Blond French Girl) - This poor girl had a big time meltdown. After being criticized at the dress up challenge, she slumped against a pole (while she should have been standing),prompting Paulina to ask her what was wrong. When the other girls (including Samantha) questioned her desire & esteem, Paulina stood up for her and said that it wasn't poor esteem, just that she was being European. She was again criticized at her photo shoot where she was supposed to be a traffic jam, but she pulled off at least once decent picture that the judges liked. When Nigel noted that Paulina "runs to her defense every week,"Paulina simply agreed. Well then.

This was all in all a pretty boring week. The only real entertainment aside from Marjorie's meltdown was from Clark, last weeks photo shoot winner/the model who finished in the #1 spot. Of course, she sought out a one on one confessional with the camera where she proclaimed that she was in the #1 slot and had nothing to worry about heading into this week's judging. Sniff around and smell the jinx...smell it...smell it.....Ah beautiful, smells like the smell of a fart in your cupped hand, doesn't it? Well, as you probably guessed, her photos were deemed to be mediocre and Clark was sent home in tears based upon the total body of her work.

Hit it Tyra:"You ready to be on top?"

Catch ya next week, baby.