Live Blogging the First Presidential Debate

First question to the candidates on the Wall Street bail out.

- Obama wins no points with me by blaming the problem on "trickle down"economics. I love me some supply side policies!! I don't even think Obama knows what that really means, but I already knew that he and I clash on domestic policy.

- McCain's follow up is irrelevant. I have no idea what he even said because I cannot believe how old and bad he looks. I don't know what that lump on his jaw is, but it doesn't reassure me that he will be around for another 4-8 years. Couldn't somebody on his advisory staff have told him to angle his lump AWAY from the camera instead of directly at it? THEN he makes a comment about his experience by saying, "and I've been around for a little while." NO SHIT JOHN!! You are supposed to be emphasizing to America that you are a young 87, not that you are an old ass man. Your opening remarks and appearance lead me to believe that you will be in a retirement home or dead in 6 months, leaving the country in the hands of "Ms. Iditarod Snow Princess 2006." By the way, on ESPN radio a former NFL player by the name of "Stinky Schlereff" (who by all accounts seems to be a prettygood guy) was getting razzed about having been at the University of Idaho at the same time as Sarah Palin, and whether or not they ever dated. "Stinky" was caught a bit off guard, and would only say that he didn't "meet her in class." I implied that to mean that either she never went to class (he indicated that they had an English class together), or that they may have hooked up at a party or bar. So that gives us the remote possibility of a bible pounding President with an ex-boyfriend named "Stinky." I'm intrigued.

- Obama is having trouble speaking fluently. I was second guessing my proclamation from last year that he was as poor of a public speaker as George W. Bush, given that everybody in the media is now talking about how gifted and fluent he is. Not anymore. I. was. uh, uh, r-r-right.

- Jesus, McCain just announced that he is not considered "Ms. Congeniality" of the Senate when another major concern about the guy is his temper and ability to get along with people. Two questions into the debate and he has just voluntarily confirmed his two biggest perceived weaknesses without turning them into strengths. Somebody (John McCain), please fucking hire me to tutor you for your next debate.

- Obama is criticizing McCain's plan on taxing employers on health benefits paid to employees. McCain looks like he is about to pee himself as he is ready to interrupt/respond. Did I say "look like?" He just did.

- Obama is still bumbling, but he nailed a point that could sway someof the undecided conservative, but anti-Bush crowd. (Paraphrasing)"John McCain has accused me of being liberal in my voting record, but most of that was just me opposing the idiotic policies of George W. Bush." Solid point. Probably not based on any specific facts, but a strong retort to a very non-specific cut from McCain.

- Obama just referred to the economy as "slowing down." Dude, we are in a solid recession on the verge of stagflation! Compare Bush's economic policies to Jimmy Carter's. Go for the kill. DO IT! DO IT! HIT ENTER! NOW!

- Obama has now called McCain by the wrong first name at least twice.He is fucking killing me.

- McCain just went back to the "Ms. Congeniality" thing and calledhimself a "maverick." Doesn't he realize THAT SCARES THE FUCK OUT OF UNDECIDED VOTERS! This the worst debate ever. I long for the days of Al Gore telling stories about "a lady named Thelma Myers" that he metin Topeka, Kansas, who is working 7 jobs to feed her kids and give them healthcare benefits.

- I just remembered that my original comment last year about Obama being a poor public speaker was after I saw him in an ad-lib, open Q&A session on MTV. I was right; he just can't speak on his feet. I will temper my earlier comment by acknowledging that I think that those who compliment his public speaking ability are probably referring to his prepared speeches, not his impromptu bumbling.

- Obama finally got a good question to take McCain to task on about Iraq. He aptly noted the lack of weapons of mass destruction, as well as the erroneous assumption that there was no history of violence/animosity between the Shiites & Sunnis. When my friend Damon was in the military before this whole war came about, I remember him telling me that the Shiites want the U.S. to come in and overthrow Hussein (a Sunni), but that as soon as we do they'd turn on us because they hate us. They did. If Damon knew enough that this would happen, how the fuck can a military insider like McCain have gotten this whole thing wrong? (unless he wanted to ***CONSPIRACY ALERT***CONSPIRACY ALERT***)

- McCain follows this up by insisting that "we are winning." Umm John, we can't win. There is no defined enemy. The people that we are purportedly fighting for hate us and don't want us there. There is not even a defined military that we are fighting against.

- Both McCain and Obama pronounce "Taliban' as Tol-E-bon. I'm all for this. It sounds like a triangularly shaped, European chocolate bar. Mmmm...European chocolate.

- McCain is starting to stammer along too. I am coining a new term based upon this debate, well maybe it has been said before, but I like the term "bumblefuck" for anybody who stammers while speaking. Spread it liberally amongst your friends.

- Al Gore was almost just reincarnated in the form of Obama's story about a bracelet from the mother of a slain soldier. Unfortunately, Obama bumblefucked the names of the soldier and his mother. "Senator Obama, I know Al Gore, and you are no Al Gore."

- McCain criticizes Obama's plan to have discussions with rogue leaders like the guy's who's name I can't spell (but begins with an A) from Iran by mocking "so when he says we're going to wipe Israel off the face of the planet, we're going to say 'no you're not?'" Obama ran out of time, but didn't appear to have a good response ready to go in anyevent. He should have stated, "well Jesus Jim" (meaning John--his getting McCain's name wrong would have worked for him here), "an ex-military hero such as yourself you should know that the threat of action by the U.S. armed forces carries with it a considerable amount of weight in the international community." I think that Obama would have clinched the election right then and there had he said something along those lines.

- McCain just accused Russia as becoming a nation fueled by "petrol-dollars" (when did he become British?) as an explanation for their recent invasion of Georgia. Okay, point taken, but then HOW THE FUCK DOES HE JUSTIFY OUR INVOLVEMENT IN IRAQ. Jesus H. Christ on a fucking popsicle stick! Come on Obama, take him to task on this! Of course, he never did. Grow a pair!

- Obama closes with his objective being to restore America's standing with the world, that "we are less respected now as we were 8 years ago or even 4 years ago," that "this is the greatest country on earth," but because of "some of the mistakes that were made..... we have much work to do to... restore that sense of America as a shining beacon on a hill." Thank you Barack, that is why I am voting for you.

- McCain closes by stating that Obama has no experience and made errors in judgment. REALLY? You want to say that in light of your support of the war in Iraq? Then Obama makes an analogy about his father wanting to come to America for college because that is the only place you can make it if you just work hard and needing to restore that perception to the world. Done and done (if it were up to me).

All in all I was less than impressed with the command/speaking abilityof the candidates. I would give that aspect of the debate to McCain 65/35. On policy, I'd have to go with Obama 60-40. I do think that Obama has greater upside, and that he will probably make more improvement in his performance between this debate and the next. Luckily for him, McCain was not spectacular tonight either, so I don't think Obama lost too much ground if any (substantively I think Obama really turned it on in the end, but his points came so late that I worry that he may have lost some viewers by then). On the other hand, I take back all of my past comments about the need to be prepared for this debate. I am fully confident that I could have participated in this debate tonight without any preparation whatsoever and have outperformed both of the candidates....and I hate public speaking.