Blogging Survivor: Brawn vs. Brains vs. Beauty - "There are Idols, because I got one"

This week's Survivor began with tension at the Aparri camp. More specifically, Kass basically told Sarah, the swing vote in the event of a merge, that she didn't trust her.

"Show me blood on your hands from a former tribemate, and then we'll talk."

Sure enough, a merge was announced, with Solana packing up and joining the Aparri to form the new Solarrion tribe, with Aparri outnumbering Solana 6-5, assuming Sarah held rank with her new tribe.

Of course, Tony and LJ both had Hidden Immunity Idols for Solana that nobody else knew about to at least make things a little more interesting.

The old Solana tribe saw Sarah as their only hope, banking on her prior "Donuts r' Us" alliance with Tony, even though he basically dumped her for Trish when the tribes were initially re-drawn.

When Tony approached Sarah, or as he calls her, "Say-wha," she refused his request to "swear on her badge" that she'd be loyal to him.

She instead elected to remain the swing vote, or as she and the boys in her precinct back in Missouri call it, a "Sarah sandwich."

And like everything in the south, a "Sarah Lacina sandwich" tastes like catfish.

While Sarah elected to remain loyal to her new Aparri tribe members, she also demanded that they target either LJ or Wu in the first Tribal Council after the merge.

That kept her at odds with Kass, who for some reason wanted to target the weaker members of the Solana tribe.

That didn't go over well with Sarah.

"I think it's completely idiotic to pick a fight with me. I'm not saying let me be the princess and walk on eggshells around me, but the last thing you want to do is piss me off."

Sarah went on to say, "I can do whatever I want. You want to pick a fight with me? I'll flip over with those other guys, so don't test me, because I will put you in your place and send you packing."

I just wanted to get as many Sarah Lacina pictures in as I could before her dumb ass got voted out.

On the other hand, Kass didn't like the fact that Sarah was calling the shots, apparently forgetting the part where she was the swing vote and could just as easily go back to her original alliance and flip the post merge numbers.

"Who made her queen? I can't even look at her, I just want to punch her sometimes."

Kass next proceeded to get pissed off at Tasha, who was simply trying to keep Sarah on board so as not to lose their majority numbers.

"I totally think that Tasha took Sarah's side in the argument. What the heck?"

The first Individual Immunity Challenge of the season consisted of balancing on a triangular water platform, where the contestants could only use their feet to hold onto narrow wooden strips of wood.

Wu won Immunity, which was good, because he was one of the two primary targets for elimination.

On the other hand, Morgan McLeod did her past to overcome a built in obstacle...Top-heaviness and wide "birthin" hips.

Back at camp, Sarah began to power trip about being the swing vote saying, "I will make the decision on who goes home next, I'm the President."

With the old Solana tribe coming to the realization that Sarah was not going to flip from her new alliance, they decided to target Kass given the rift that they had witnessed between her and Sarah.

Or as Kass said, "I know she's going to destroy the game, I wanna have the preemptive strike. I want to destroy it!"

Sarah then did her best to discredit any testimony she may ever given in the future as a witness in a criminal trial. 

"Tony and I have a relationship because he's a police officer, and I'm a police officer. But he is the biggest threat in this game. He observes everything, he's sneaky. He's just like me, and I would get rid of me if I could."

At Tribal Council, LJ played dumb and suggested that there may not be any Hidden Immunity Idols in this season's game.

That caused Tony to blurt out, "There are Idols, because I got one."

Spencer dared him to show his hand by asking, "You wanna pull it out?"

That caused Tony to drop trow as he proudly exclaimed, "Why don't you look at these six faces right here, look what's going on right here Jeff," as the old Aparri tribe scrambled to change their vote.

And after the vote, Tony decided to give his Idol to LJ by saying, "Hang on Jeff, I'd like to cover Tony's ass myself," assuming that's who Aparri had decided to change their vote to after they saw his Idol.

Crazier yet, LJ pulled out the Idol that he had secretly possessed and gave it to Tony, which officially made them married in the Philippines.

But as the Solana tribe celebrated the genius of their play, they quickly realized that Aparri had changed their vote to Jefra, not LJ, as Jeff Probst read off the vote.

I'm not saying that Jefra Bland is a poorer, whiter trash version of Emily Maynard from the Bachelor...Well, actually I am.

However, Kass came through for the Solana tribe, as she flipped on her six person alliance with Aparri.

And while that saved Tony and LJ's ass, the only use they got out of their two respective Immunity Idols was the joy they got from the giggles and high fives they gave each other after they played them.

On the other hand, Sarah went from being drunk with power over the former Aparri tribe, to being completely blindsided.

Not realizing that she had irritated Kass to the point that she flipped on her own original "Brains" alliance, Sarah was so shocked that she actually had to ask, "Who flipped?" and then, "I don't know why Kass flipped." 

Of course, Jefra was sure to point out who the guilty party was in front of everyone by saying, "Kass, Kass, thank you!"