BBB12 (Blogging Big Brother 12) - "I vote to evict tequila, vomit and $100 bills"

With the Brendon and Rachel up for nomination, Brendon took it upon himself to confront the other housemates hoping that by verbally confronting them they would evict him instead of his girlfriend. Brendon's logic for doing so was straight out of a fairy tale, "I told you I'm going to protect you, that's what a knight does." Maybe it's just me, but a physicist should know better than to give up a chance at $500,000 in order to pretend that he's at a Renaissance Fair, especially when the modern day princess that he is trying to protect was given the moniker, "tequila, vomit and $100 bills" by somebody from Arkansas of all places.

In spite of Brendon's master plan to turn the house against him in order to protect the future mother of his children (yes, he actually announced this on national TV after knowing her for all of a month), the Brigade alliance decided that Rachel was a bigger overall threat than Brendon, who still poses a threat in physical challenges. Of course the Head of Household Competition turned out to be physical in nature, and Brendon easily defeated all of the other housemates. In terms of strategy, this has to be the slowest house in Big Brother history, and keep in mind that a previous winner of Big Brother Africa actually won the Jury's final vote over a contestant that he sexually assaulted. I guess that means Lane still has a chance of winning even after he sexually assaulted himself (click the link in Lane's Power Rating to get the joke).

I should note that before the Eviction Ceremony the Saboteur, a/k/a Ragan, sent the house a message suggesting that the person voted out might not not actually be leaving the house. Sure enough, Julie Chen hinted the same to Rachel in their interview her following her eviction. Are you serious CBS? First you cancelled Ghost Whisperer, then you let Annie walk out of the Big Brother house after she bothched her job as the Saboteur, and now you're going to tell me that you're letting Rachel back in the game of all people? At the very least CBS owes me Ghost Whisperer re-runs, preferably on Friday nights.

This brings me to one of my reality show pet peeves - if a show is going to have a "twist" that saves an eliminated contestant, then the show needs to let the viewing audience know what the twist is and when it is going to occur in advance of it actually happening. That way we don't feel like the producers are making up rules as they go along in order to keep certain people around to stir up drama and generate higher ratings. (The only exception to this rule is for any past or future season of Paradise Hotel, in which it is mandatory that the eliminated contestants come back in order to make the lives of those who evicted them miserable).

Big Brother 12 Power Ratings - Each week I rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after week 5:

8. Ragan - (previously #6) - So college professor Ragan attempted to make grad student Brendon look stupid by calling him a "ne-an-dra-thal," which Brendon quickly reminded him was pronounced "ne-an-der-thal." Let's score this one for the pupil over the teacher. Ragan is in trouble because Enzo and Hayden have identified him as a target in order to separate him from Matt, with whom they're afraid he has a side alliance.

7. Britney - (previously #5) While she was not nominated for eviction, her run-in with Brendon last week makes her a target to get back doored, especially with Lane being safe via the Brigade alliance. Hopefully she doesn't leave, as I'd miss comments like the one she made to Rachel in her eviction message when she said, "The thing I'm going to miss about you Rachel is your hair extensions. I'm going to miss putting them on and getting to be the new Rachel - 'WHO WANTS TO SEE ME GO TO THE JURY HOUSE? WOO-TEQUILA!!;" as well as, "He (Brendon) has the worst sportsmanship I have ever seen, and I played 5th grade basketball." Even if Britney does stick around this week, Enzo and Hayden are targeting her in order to break up her side alliance with Lane. Accordingly, Britney needs to do something major to shake the game up, like convincing Lane to break away from the Brigade and joining her in an alliance with Brendon, Ragan and Kathy.

6. Brendon - (previously #8) Brendon's really only safe for the rest of this week as Head of Household, although he could be getting Rachel back next week if Pandora's Box allows her to return to the house. At this point I'd almost rather have Rachel back in the game than to have to listen to Brendon proclaim his love for someone he met a few weeks earlier on a reality show. For example, Brendon said that he "would take a bullet for her, and I think that she will love me for it," and (on his HOH victory) "that's what happens when you evict somebody you love guys." At this point I'm starting to think that Brendon might be the first documentable case of a dude with daddy issues. A year from now he'll be dancing at a peep-show for shots of tequila and $2 bills as Rachel verbally assaults him for not shaking it hard enough.

5. Kathy - (previously #7) As a weaker player Kathy is not really being targeted at this time since she poses no threat. I give her props for standing up to Rachel and refusing to apologize for yelling "WOO!" after defeating her in the Power of Veto competition, especially since Rachel only challenged her since she thought she would beat her.

4. Lane - (previously # 2) Lane's response to Enzo telling him that Brendon was thinking of putting him up for eviction along with Britney: "I wanted to go to a bar, find the hottest girl there, and (drum roll)....fight her boyfriend!" OK Lane, you had me through "find the hottest girl there," then we clearly have a difference in philosophy (my philosophy would have been to creepily stare at the hottest girl in the bar without speaking to her until she eventually got uncomfortable and left). Then again, who needs actual interaction with a hot girl when you have a perfectly good shower and an alliance member to watch your back in order to make sure you don't get caught rubbing one out on camera. Being that he's from Texas I don't know whether to say he hooked his horn, freed his horny toad, or rang that bell.

3. Matt - (previously #4) Matt continues to wear a hoodie without an undershirt zipped down to his belly. Note to Matt, while some people can pull off wearing tops zipped down to their belly buttons, you are NOT one of those people.

2. Hayden - (previously #3) Hayden made a major game play along with Enzo by reaching out to Brendon and forming a secret side alliance. Whether Matt and Lane realize it yet or not, Hayden and Enzo have clearly demoted them to # 3 and 4 in the Brigade alliance.

1. Enzo - (previously #1) While Enzo hoped to convince Brendon to target Ragan and Britney for nomination in order to break up Matt and Lane's side alliances with Ragan and Britney, Brendon ended up nominating Ragan and Lane instead. In any event, Enzo is safe, and his alliance should have the votes to keep Lane in the game regardless of what happens in the POV, especially since Matt has the Diamond Power of Veto at his disposal.