The Big Brother 15 Blog - "You don't get to see my boobs...Alright, I'll show you later"



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This week began with Aaryn enraged that the house blind-sided her mentally challenged boyfriend David and sent him home.

"They made it personal when they went after David, and now I don't trust anyone...I did not see that coming at all. Like, how could this house not vote Elissa out?"

Meanwhile, the HOH Competition continued with the house guests competing in pairs to fill up a large container with barbecue sauce using only small ladles while walking up and down an icy slope.

That caused Howard to exclaim, "This is the slipperiest, nastiest, raunchiest BBQ I've ever been to, and I'm from the South!

Amanda took a different strategy than everyone else, electing to crawl instead of slide. "The plus side of being on all fours is A), I can't fall, and B), I can't pop an implant. Who's the winner now?"

Amanda Zuckerman's fake boobs have been instrumental in her attempt to con McCrae Olson away from his alliance with The Moving Company. Unfortunately for McCrae, Amanda has a boyfriend back home in Florida.

That caused McCrae to nearly hyperventilate. "I'm watching Amanda, and she's on all fours, she's all greased up, Oh, she's breathing heavy. I'm having a little bit of a moment right now."

Meanwhile, Elissa said, "We are so close, and we feel victory in our fingertips"....Unfortunately for Elissa, she confused victory with Judd's penis, as Jeremy and Aaryn ended up winning. 

That caused Jeremy to boast, "These people just think I'm being cocky, but what'd I say? I said I'm gonna win. What'd I do? I went out there and won. Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT! TOOT!"

Aaryn dedicated her win to avenging David's ouster from the house. "We did this for David, and we're coming after you guys."

Aaryn also noted how upset David was going to be when he saw this episode because he was going to see how sad she was.

Unfortunately for Aaryn, by the time the episode aired David had already forgotten who she even was, but he did get really excited when his master came home.

Forced to choose which of the two would become the next HOH, Jeremy inexplicably gave it to Aaryn.

"1) She just had her man candy leave 2) She's not going to vote me out 3) Guess who gets to compete next week for HOH? 'This guy.'"

Drunk with power, or perhaps just drunk, Aaryn demanded to know who voted David out.

That caused Nick to say to the Diary Room, "WHO VOTED OUT DAVID? I'll tell you who voted out David, IT WAS ME...But I'm not going to say anything."

Andy was much more forthright by privately telling Aaryn that he voted to send David home and explaining why. "So I decided to be truthful with Aaryn, and what I mean by truthful is lie, lie, lie...Basically I'm keeping my friends close, and my Aaryn's closer."

When Aaryn asked, "Who wants to see my HOH room," Ellen responded by saying, "Oh God, kill me. I'd rather eat slop for the rest of the summer."

Andy put a more positive spin on that opportunity. "How often is it that you get to see baby pictures of the Devil?"

While Jeremy lobbied Aaryn to put Helen and Elissa up to help the "Moving Company" alliance, Aaryn targeted Nick. "People are lying...and if it's you Nick, I'm going to cut off your dick in your sleep."

She then started giggling maniacally at the thought of "Bobbiting" Nick. 

Aaryn got even uglier when it came to some of the other house guests she was upset at for voting against David.

For example, she targeted Candice and Helen with racist comments, and Andy with a gay slur that would have made Big Brother's favorite homophobe Jeff Shroeder proud.

Some of the "wittier" comments she came up with included, "Dude, shut up, go make some rice" while talking about Helen, and, "No one's going to vote for whoever that queer puts up" in reference to Andy.

Amanda seemed to realize the severity of Aaryn's comments.

"On top of Aaryn being a raging bitch, she's very naive and sheltered....And she makes comments where she makes fun of other people, for what they look like and their ethnicity, and I think it's going to hurt her...in the game and outside the game."

Sure enough, and unbeknowst to Aaryn, it was announced that she had been dropped by her modeling agency for the comments she made:

"Aaryn, season 15 cast member of Big Brother, revealed prejudices and other beliefs that we (Zephyr Talent) do not condone.We certainly find the statements made by Aaryn on the live Internet feed to be offensive. Upon much consideration, we have decided to release Aaryn from her contract with Zephyr Talent."

Amanda even pulled Aaryn aside to tell her that she'd been accused of being racist, and politely warned her to be mindful of what she was saying.

And instead of realizing the severity of the situation she had put herself in, Aaryn just rolled her eyes at Amanda.

"That's the most obnoxious, annoying thing I've ever heard...I'm not even going to acknowledge it because it's the biggest joke," before she made a fart noise to drive home her point.

Aaryn then tried to justify her racist remarks by blaming the people she offended.

"That is the most immature thing ever. They call me 'Barbie' and all sorts of things about me being blond all the time, so what's the difference? I wish that I cared more about this, but I don't."

Aaryn Gries doesn't appear to realize that while she chose to be a bleach blond slut who shows her ass in public to try and get what she wants, real people don't get to chose their ethnicity or sexual orientation.

Amazingly, Candice and Helen somehow figured out that Spencer, Nick, Howard, McCrae and Jeremy were in an alliance together and playing the rest of the house.

Not one to waste her time on strategy, Jessie decided that she wanted a lover in the house, so she began to stalk Nick by literally following him around the house.

"I'm a single guy, there's a lot of single girls in the house, but, what's up with Jessie? Talk about a stage five clinger...I can't get rid of this girl. Jessie, can't you take a hint?

And when you're a good looking girl with a great ass like Jessie Kowalski, something has to be seriously wrong with your personality when you're chasing after guys and they won't even give you the time of day.

Jeremy, thinking that he's running the game asked, "Should I put up Amanda and Elissa? Apparently forgetting that he wasn't the HOH.

Jeremy then went on to tell Aaryn that Amanda was the mastermind behind David's eviction, when it was really his Moving Company alliance. "I could blame her mother, and she would probably put her up."

But when it came down to it, Aaryn ended up nominating Helen and Elissa, telling Ellen, "You have an amazing shot at getting the Veto, and I hope you do my nails."

However, Elissa once again won America's MVP, giving her the power to secretly nominate a third person for eviction.

Elissa decided to nominate Jeremy, to which Aaryn said, "Shocker."

Trying to intimidate the rest of the house heading into the POV Competition Jeremy yelled, "I'm a caged animal, I'm a "manimal"...Guard your meat, because I'm coming to eat," which even made Andy afraid.

Of course, Jeremy's intimidation tactics failed when it turned out the POV competition required him to dress up like a baby. "It' really hard to stay in beast mode when you in a huge lavender onesie."

Revealing to Nick that she was America's MVP, Elissa asked him to throw the POV Competition or she would nominate him as replacement. In return, she promised to keep him safe for two weeks.

However, Nick would not agree, feeling relatively safe even if he went up due to the support of his secret alliance.

Big Brother Hall-Of-Famer Brittney Haynes returned to announce the POV Competition...And that she was pregnant.

Unfortunately for Lane Ellenburg, Brittney Haynes' baby isn't his.

The POV Competition involved hanging 10 stuffed animals on a mobile like hanger, with the first person getting them all to balance without touching the ground and ringing their buzzer winning.

Being a finesse competition, Jeremy struggled out of the gate.

"I'm trying to keep these stuffed animals on this mobile, but they keep falling off left and right. These muscles keep getting in the way, and it's extremely frustrating."

Having already attempted to ring her buzzer once only to have one of her animals slightly touching the ground, Amanda went for a second attempt yelling, "Yeah bitches, what now? WOO!"

Unfortunately, she once again failed to balance her animals long enough to get to her buzzer.

That caused a humbled Amanda to exclaim in despair, "Much like a baby, I feel like crying and I need a bottle...of vodka."

Amanda's DeShawn Jackson-esque premature celebration allowed Jeremy to come from behind and win the POV, and he ripped off his onesie in celebration.

"Guess who brought home the gold, guess who brought it home to mommy. mwa, mwa, mwa! (kissing the veto). It's a little gold baby pacifier, but it's a veto champion, nom, nom, nom."

Jeremy McGuire will never be mistaken for Brandi Chastain....GOOOAAAALLLL!

Trying to protect Kaitlin, Jeremy tried to bully his own alliance by saying that he would back out if they didn't vote Elissa out. That didn't go over so well with The Moving Company:

Nick: "Now we're talking more like a monarchy, and not like a business."

Howard: "Dude, pump your breaks on giving orders. God is the only guy I answer to. The rest of us, we're in this thing together."

McCrae: "Who died and made you boss? This worries me. It's about the group. It's about the core...Down the line we're going to have to be really careful with Jeremy."

Spencer: Well...Actually, Spencer just agreed with Jeremy.

Ironically, it was Jeremy who went against that alliance last week when he secretly voted to keep David.

With Nick not agreeing to throw the veto, Elissa put him up as her Replacement Nominee when Jeremy took himself off the block.

With the cameras running before the live vote to evict, Julie Chen asked the house guests if they ever forget that they're always on camera in a thinly veiled attempt to ask Aaryn about her racist and homophobic remarks.

However, Aaryn remained oblivious, saying that she doesn't forget about the cameras. "I'm just a very open person, so everyone who's here knows a lot about me, and so does America now."

That caused Julie to say, "Yes, we all do," somewhat letting Aaryn off the hook, and showing America that her time on The Talk has really taught Julie Chen how to ask the tough question.

In the end, Spencer and McCrae went against The Moving Company and voted to evict Nick out of the game.

When the results were announced, GinaMarie began wailing uncontrollably...Not because Nick got evicted, because there were still black people left in the house that she had to live with.

In reference to GinaMarie's crush Nick said, "This house is making me feel like a super pimp. First it was Jessie. She followed me around the entire house, I could not shake her off. Now, it's GinaMarie."

He also made his thoughts about her clear. "Although there may be love in the air, I don't necessary feel the same way."

GinaMarie even went as far as to say, "I was actually serious about you taking a shower with me, but that's fine. You don't get to see my boobs," before quickly backtracking on her threat, "Alright, I'll show you later."

Even the naive Aaryn seemed to realize that GinaMarie was pursuing a hopeless cause. "GinaMarie, you could put your vagina out and he (Nick) wouldn't come over here."

Upon being interviewed following his eviction, Nick correctly guessed that Spencer turned on him. That caused Connie Chung to say, "You're super right."

And when talking about the house dynamics Nick said, "Give it another couple of weeks, and I probably would've just been hanging out with Gina...Marie.

Connie Chung didn't miss a beat and added, "Who is like curled up in a ball right now somewhere in the corner of the house."

Connie Chung remained on fire telling Nick, "I think you should've kissed Jessie, she maybe would've given you a vote."

The new HOH Competition involved waking up the contestants all night long, who had to memorize the number and contents of boxes being delivered by "Big Brother Express" on a conveyor belt.

That culminated with a True or False competition that Helen ended up winning in two tie-breakers.

With Helen taking over as the new HOH Jeremy and Kaitlin consoled each other by hugging, while Aaryn stormed off in an angry racist huff.

Meanwhile, GinaMarie was in need of a Prozac as she continued to bemoan the loss of Nick. "I loved him so much!"

Big Brother 15 Power Ratings - Each week I'm going rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after the second week:

14. Aaryn Gries - Aaryn Gries may not be going home right away simply because she poses no threat to the house from a physical or intellectual standpoint, but she has absolutely no chance of winning Big Brother 15.

I really hope that Julie Chen, who Aaryn amazingly forgot hosts the show when she was making anti-Asian racist remarks, steps up her game and takes it to her on live TV once Aaryn gets evicted the way she talked about it on her day job show, The Talk:

"My heart is pounding. Am I the only one who feels so enraged? This is the third time I've watched that clip, and it does not get any easier. I think it shows us all that in 2013, race is still a deeply, deeply personal issue and it is so extremely hurtful. And unless you have ever been on the receiving issue end of it, you simply do not know what it's like to walk a mile in someone's shoes."

At least Aaryn can add a new title to her resume in addition to being a former Maxim model and Miss Teen Colorado International.

Sadly, Aaryn Gries would probably consider being named "Miss Racist Teen Texas" an honor coming from a privileged world of pageantry and blow jobs.

13. Jeremy McGuire - With Nick declaring, "I dated a Playboy Playmate," Jeremy tried to one up him by claiming, "I dated two Hooters girls," apparently not realizing that quantity does not necessarily equal quality.

Jeremy did reveal that he currently has ringworm, and once got scabies from "a spa at a gym," where ironically Helen's family once worked as "masseuses."

12. Kaitlin Barnaby - With her Showmance and Mean Girls alliances quickly falling apart, Kaitlin seems to be scrambling to disassociate herself from Kaitlin and Jeremy and kiss the asses of the rest of the house.

And while Kaitlin Barnaby appears to have a perfect ass, unfortunately for her, it is now infested with ringworm and scabies.

11. GinaMarie Zimmerman - Like Aaryn, GinaMarie was caught on camera dropping the N-bomb, and making racist remarks like threatening to punch Helen in the face and "knock her eyes straight," forgetting the host of Big Brother also happens to be Asian.

Again, like Aaryn, GinaMarie has already been fired from her job as a "pageant organizer" for her comments:

"The East Coast USA Pageant is an outlet for girls and women to gain self-confidence, announce their platform and most importantly celebrate who they are. We believe and teach our contestants that beauty comes from within. We celebrate the diversity of our participants as all ethnicities are beautiful. We have never known this side of Ginamarie or have ever witnessed such acts of racism in the past," Lauren Handler, the National Director and CEO of East Coast USA Pageant, says in a statement.

Additionally, repeated attempts to stand up for GinaMarie and justify her actions, a close friend who was running GinaMarie's Twitter account while she was on Big Brother finally threw in the towel:

"I absolutely do not condone or approve of Gina's behavior in any way. As a result, I will no longer be tweeting for her. Best wishes. x Ari."

I'm guessing the only place we're going to be seeing GinaMarie Zimmerman working after Big Brother 15 is as a stripper or posing naked in Penthouse.

10. Spencer Clawson - Spencer probably made the wrong call in ditching the Moving Company, as he's now at the ass end of an alliance with Helen, Andy and company, none of whom seem to trust him.

9. Howard Overby - The religious leader in the house, Howard indicated that he doesn't keep his religion to himself claiming, "It's a gift to be shared," much like GinaMarie's virginity.

8. Jessie Kowalski - Jessie indicated that she wants to be a public figure, but called it a "Presumptuous dream...Because people have to actually like you to be a public figure."

Jessie also told GinaMarie that they both had a great chance at winning America's MVP, to which GinaMarie totally agreed, knowing first hand that America loves girls who show off their boobs.

The house has been abuzz on Big Brother After Dark about Jessie Kowalski for flashing her nipples, apparently not realizing that her bikini was see through. Or as Andy said on Big Brother After Dark, "Are we sure it was Jess screaming, or was it her nipples?"

7. Rachel Reilly's Sister - You've got to love our country, who keeps handing Rachel Reilly's less talented sister America's MVP, when Candice, Helen and Andy have acted with nothing but class despite being subjected to racist and homophobic slurs this summer.

6. Judd Daughtery - Even Judd, the slack-jawed Southerner from the backwoods of Tennessee who only appears to speak Confederate seemed to understand what Aaryn was saying was just plain wrong saying, "Doesn't she know she's on TV and shouldn't say that?"

5.  Andy Herren - The ultimate floater, Andy has managed to appease the entire house by agreeing and saying, "Yeah...For sure," whenever someone comes to talk strategy with him.

4. McCrae Olson - McCrae has put himself in a great position in the house. The question now remains whether or not he has the sack to cut ties with Amanda before she screws him over for the money, and I think we all know how that story is going to end.

3. Candice Stewart - Candice is a good person who has put up with a lot of shit in the house, but she's going to need to make some moves on her own to separate herself from Helen when it gets down to the end of the game, and so far she hasn't played the social game with the rest of the house that one would expect from a former NFL cheerleader. 

 2. Amanda Zuckerman - Along with Helen, nobody in the house is strategizing more than Amanda. But more importantly Nick let it drop during his eviction speech that Amanda has hoarded all of the Band-aids in the house, which she uses to cover her nipples. 

1. Helen Kim - Helen has gone from being a secluded wallflower to holding a great deal of power in the house. More importantly, she has built her bonds through kindness, even reaching out to those in the house

The Bachelorette Blog - "Who has the biggest dick?"

This week's episode of The Bachelorette began with Des and the guys flying to an island off of the coasts of Portugal and Africa, but resulting in none of the drama that the teasers had seemingly promised.

Unfortunately, Brooks Forester decided to represent America by wearing jean shorts.

In need of a personality infusion, The Bachelorette producers decided to bring in several girls from Sean's season to help Des with her lack of having any edge.

Those girls included Catherine (who won Sean), Jackie and Lesley.

When looking at the guys from afar, I'm pretty sure that a drunken Catherine asked, "Who has the biggest dick?" That caused Des to say, "I don't know," before she promptly said, "Probably Chris."

Jesus Catherine Giudici, do you kiss Sean Lowe with that mouth?

The first 1-on-1 Date went to Brooks, whom she took on a cliff side drive that went up through the clouds, which concluded with them kissing and screaming in unison, "We're on cloud nine!"

Des made it clear that she was falling in love with Brooks, even though he seemed torn about how he felt about her.

"I still have questions, I haven't introduced a lot of women to my family," which is usually the case when you're gay.

The next 1-on-1 Date went to Chris.

...Who promptly smelled the Date Card as if he had just been handed a pair of Desiree's underwear.

Des took Chris on a yacht to a deserted island, where Chris wore his "extra short shorts" just for her.

They then proceeded to write poetry together, which they put in a bottle and threw into the ocean.

Chris then awkwardly told Des that he loved her via another poem that went about seven versus too long, but still made Des cry...I'm just hoping that they still have a connection when the poetry wears off.

In anticipation of a hometown date, Chris asked Des about the guys that she's introduced to her parents.

That caused her to respond, "They've only met my high school boyfriend," apparently forgetting that all of America saw her bring home last season's Bachelor, Sean Lowe.

A third 1-on-1 Date went to Michael G., who she took out on the town to soak up the local culture.

With it being Michael's first real alone time with Des, even though he'd somehow made it to the final five, she was looking to see some vulnerability from him and whether or not there was any attraction.

Michael showed the vulnerability that Des was looking for when he revealed that his ex had cheated on him, although Des failed the ask the necessary question of, "Why?"

They were then serenaded by some fat Italian lady who couldn't carry a tune, although it was still better than any of the professional acts The Bachelorette had plugged all season.

The final date was a 2-on-1 between Zak W. and Drew, although it was not of the loser leaves town variety.

As a model, Drew Kenney is in great shape, but that doesn't help the likelihood that he's only 5'2.

Des took the two to a go-cart track, where she made them race for a "surprise," which only turned out to be getting alone time with her first.

Zak W. wins, causing Drew to say, "I am a lesser car driver than you, I get it," which is typically what the guy who drives a Volvo says to the guy who drives a Mustang.

However, Drew hid an ace up his sleeve...A sister back at home who would really love to meet Des, even though she's severely mentally retarded and can't even communicate.

Sure enough, Des noted how she knew she really wanted to meet Drew's family when she gave him the Rose for their date over Zak.

In the end, Des told Chris Harrison that "She's at the "Finish line" with Brooks, who grilled her about falling in love with him, seeming to know something that Des and the rest of us don't.

Des also admitted to falling in love with Chris, who surprisingly seemed like her second choice. I have a feeling that won't go over too well with him when Des ends up choosing him by default after Brooks comes out of the closet.

In the end, the Final Rose went to Zak W. over Michael G., who took things poorly even though he really didn't have any alone time with Des all season to develop any sort of real bond.

Michael first went to the eliminated contestant playbook by trying to guilt Des.

"I was so excited to let you see the house I grew up in...But I guess in a way it was a blessing...Because my mom would have loved you and it would have broke her heart."

He then went into full scale self pity mode. "I'm tired of having my heart broken and being rejected by women that I'm falling in love with."

And if that wasn't enough to kill any chance of Michael G. becoming the next Bachelor, he called his Mom who asked, "Are you okay?"

And when Michael responded, "No," Mommy seemed prepared when she said, "Here we go again."

The Bachelorette Blog - "He was found guilty, People vs. James, case dismissed!"

This week's episode of The Bachelorette began with Des and the guys heading to Barcelona, Spain.

The first 1-on-1 Date went to Drew, who had apparently just joined the cast as a replacement for Bryden.

Drew elected to tell Des about overhearing James talking with Mikey about scamming girls together when they get back to Chicago, and how he had a great chance to become the next Bachelor if he could at least make it the final four...But smartly, only after Des had already given him a Rose.

That caused Desiree to say, "I'm disappointed in James, because I truly believed he was an honest man," proving that she has absolutely no ability whatsoever to judge the character of any guy.

The Group Date consisted of a soccer match, which seemingly gave the advantage to Don Pablo, a former professional soccer player.

However, the match turned out to be against six highly skilled teenage girls, and James turned out to be the least athletic guy to ever mind a net, which is amazing considering that soccer players are by far and large unathletic.

That caused Juan Pablo to say, "I thought he was going to be a man today, but I guess he's scared of getting hit with the ball."

Meanwhile, Kasey quipped, "Your like 6'2, 260 pounds, and you're afraid a little girl this tall is going to kick the ball at you? C'mon brother, step it up."

Even our 10-year-old girl who was watching with us at home dogged James, calling him "a 'Cinderalla' soccer player - because he keeps running away from the ball." Can you guess who's going to inherit this blog?

After the match, Des pulled Chris aside at the cocktail party to read him a poem that she wrote for him on the plane.

And while the season could have ended right there since it's clear she's going to choose Chris in the end, at least we get to see James get humiliated on national TV for the second time in just a matter of minutes.

First, Kasey confronted James about his comments, while James claimed that it was Mikey who brought up going out and picking up women together once they got back to Chicago.

However, when Michael G. reminded James that he was the one trying to position himself to become the next Bachelor, James panicked and snapped avoiding the questing and taunting, "You haven't even been on a 1-on-1 date, have you Michael?"

Michael G. replied by imitating James and saying, "'Hey we're going to go to clubs bro...We're going to get it in...Girls!...It sounds like you're auditioning for The Jersey Shore, quite frankly."

The next person in line to confront James was Dez, which sadly lead to all kinds of tears.

Unfortunately, all of the crying that was done, was done by James Case.

When asked by Des if he actually said any of those things, James responded by saying, "No Ma'am," before complaining that being questioned was "giving me a head-headache."

And while Des elected not to send James home on the spot, he definitely triggered our kid's bullshit meters as we watched at home, as our ten-year-old and seven-year-old had the following exchange.

10 yr. old: "It's SOOO obvious that he's lying." 
7 yr. old: "I know, right?"

The second 1-on-1 Date went to Zak W., mainly because Des wanted to use his bleached teeth to distract her from all of the drama that she and the rest of the house experienced because of James. 

Unfortunately, Des chose to take Zak W. on an artsy date, which was kind of like taking James on date that required the guy to be an athlete or appreciate sports.

Their first task was drawing portraits of each other, and unfortunately things went horribly awry with Zak W's drawing, or as he tried to explain, "I added color, and there's nothing I can do about it now!"

Zak W's portrait of Desiree Hartsock looks surprisingly like former Bachelor contestant, Tierra Licausi.

Next up was a nude male model, which made Zak W. so jealous that he left the room, and came back wearing nothing but a robe and his own tighty-whities.

Zack Waddell is the type of guy who sees another guy without any clothes on, and immediately feels the need to challenge him to a "Pants Off," for which there are no winners.

Back at the hotel, James approached Des to tell her that he was "feeling much better" after their earlier conversation, to which she replied, "Really?"

James Case: You can always tell that a guy is lying when his nipples start to leak milk...Well, either that, or he forgot to pump.

Not realizing that he was about to be sent home, James started to cop an attitude with the other guys. "I might come off as a cocky son of a bitch, but I have a very great sense of self.

That caused the normally reserved Chris to interject, saying he could no longer stay calm with James saying that becoming the next Bachelor was a "win-win situation."

Once again realizing that he couldn't fully justify his statements, James stormed off by pouting, "You know what? I don't have to answer any questions to any of you guys any more if I don't feel like it."

As any good southerner in a position of power, Prosecutor Michael G. totally abused it and went as far as to scold James for cursing.

In the end, Des ended up casting her vote for the Prosecution, giving the last Rose to Michael G. over James.

Michael G. then made himself look like an idiot when he said, "He was found guilty, People vs. James, case dismissed!"

And while that may have sounded good, from a legal standpoint it was incorrect terminology since you obviously wouldn't have your case dismissed if you were found guilty in a court of law.

In addition to James, Kasey and Juan Pablo were also sent home, leaving Chris, Michael, Brooks. Zak W. and Drew as Desiree's final five. 

Meanwhile, James was left hurt and confused when he realized that his womanizing ways had just been exposed.

"I just became the next Ben and it's just....How did I come off to be such a bad person? Why Me?"

The Big Brother 15 Blog - "Just tell me you're a secret Wall Street millionaire"



Click here to get the most up to date Big Brother 15 Blog posts

With America selecting the new Big Brother MVP who will have the power to make the third nomination for eviction, and with the house believing that the MVP will likely be a female each week, Jeremy decided to sexually assault the entire cast.

"I'm going to have to have a snuggle session with each and every one of the these beautiful ladies. And you know what, I don't think that will be too hard, I'm a pretty charming guy.

Jeremy McGuire: From his greasy hair, bad tattoos to his lack of a career, what is their for the ladies not to love?

Upon seeing McCrae's Head of House Room GinaMarie exclaimed, "(The) HOH room looks amazing, it's kind of like I'm in a New Jersey club. I wanna sleep there!"

And just like that, GinaMarie peed in the corner of McCrae's room and quietly passed out next to Snookie.

Nick recruited Jeremy, Spencer and McCrae to join his original two man alliance with Howard, which Spencer named the "The Moving Company" after finding out that "The Electric Company" had already been trademarked by PBS.

Claiming that he came on Big Brother for a showmance and not the money, David aligned with Aaryn romantically.

In return for her affection, Aaryn informed David that he always needed to work hard to save her so she could just be a stay at home reality show contestant.

Amanda and the house quickly found Jessie to be a bit high maintenance and annoying, in a teenage girl sort of way.

In response to Jessie not being able to decide whether she liked Nick or Jeremy, Jessie asked an annoyed Amanda to go see whether or not Nick liked her.

"Being trapped in the house with Jessie is like being trapped with a little girl at a Justin Beieber concert, every single boy that looks at her, she has a crush on."

Of course, Amanda let it slip to McCrae what her real beef with Jessie was. "Jessie has a way better ass than me, I'm a little jealous."

Jessie Kowalski: Having been told several time by the producers on Big Brother After Dark to "put a bra on," Jessie Kowalski's ass is not the only thing she seems proud to show off.

Jessie, who revealed that she didn't like Elissa or Helen, was told by Judd that Elissa was really Rachel Reilly's sister.

Jessie immediately told David, who thought she was a genius for figuring it out, even though she wasn't the one who really figured it out, and even though David had no idea who Rachel Reilly was.

Got it? Me either.

Aaryn was less than happy when she found out that Elissa was related to Rachel.

"I think its super shady that Elissa is hiding the fact that she's Rachel's sister because its obvious, and kind of a slap in the face for her to think that we're stupid enough to not realize who she is."

Of course, Aaryn Gries was stupid and completely oblivious to the fact that Elissa was Rachel's sister until David told her, but when you your Colorado's Miss Bison Chip and your talent consists of filling out a string bikini, people tend to let little facts like that slide.

The Have/Have Not Competition required teams to build a 15 beer can pyramid by retrieving them from a large cooler filled with water.

Staying true to The Moving Company alliance, McCrae nominated Jessie and Candice for eviction.
 
That caused Jessie to bitch, "McCrae-crae, you don't have a good reason for putting me up," oblivious to the fact that he nominated the most unpopular people in the house so as not to get any blood on his hands.

Candice was a little less passive aggressive. In fact, she was aggressive-passive saying, "I'm not going to go in the corner and cry, I'm going to compete," before she literally went off to the corner and cried.

Meanwhile, Elissa seemed relieved, if not even a little bit cocky.

"I think my sister's fans are going to vote for me, because she has awesome fans ....My sister's a super model...Do you know that I'm related to Giselle Bundschen?"

Of course, when Jeremy called her out for saying that, she totally denied it...Although the Giselle thing kind of makes sense...Since all three of them sort of have man-faces.

Amanda probably described Elissa the best when she said, "Elissa's not the sharpest botox needle in the tray, but her sister is."

Elissa Slater seemed a bit too confident that her status as the less successful sibling of a former Vegas Show Girl turned reality show skank would carry her when it came to this season's twist. Plus, I'm not really sure that posing naked in magazines aimed at auto-mechanics with gambling problems makes one a "Super Model."

Sure enough, Elissa ended up winning Big Brother's first America's MVP, and told McCrae that she was willing to do whatever he told her to.

Mistakenly thinking that Elissa was talking about the game, McCrae told her to nominate David.

When it was announced that he was the third nominee, David was caught off guard "What? I feel like I was the most likable guy in the house, and I was pissed off."

Paranoid from either a lack of weed or an abundance thereof, David actually accused his showmance, Aaryn, of conspiring against him, who promptly ran off and cried.

Not understanding women, or perhaps intentionally not wanting to get laid, David decided not to just agree with the hot chick (even though she was the one being irrational), and made things even worse by calling her a "dude."

"I was just totally mind boggled...I'm the one on the block, and you're getting pissed off at me? So, I was just totally confused dude...So can we kiss this out?

A less than impressed Aaryn pulled away saying, "No. You're going to have to prove yourself more than that for a kiss."

The Veto Competition involved crawling through honey, picking up random tiles with letters on them, and then trying to successfully spell the longest word of anyone within the time that was allowed.

Speaking of the contest, Aaryn said, "I hold men in my life to a certain standard, and spelling is definitely one of them," right before her BF David became the first player in Big Brother history to finish that competition without spelling a single word correctly. 

Or as Andy said, "Congratulations David, you're an idiot!

Equally alphabetically challenged, Elissa spelled out "Potroasts"...Which is actually two words.

In the end, pizza delivery boy McCrae won the Veto for ironically spelling "Delivery." "Who would have guessed...I feel like the stupidest smart man in the house!"

McCrae then surprised everyone by going against his alliance and using the POV on Candice and putting up his friend Elissa instead.

Of course, Amanda began sharing a bed with McCrae, and began to tempt him with her pepperonis, or as she took her shirt off on Big Brother After Dark and said, "You can't stop looking at them, can you?"

"I decided to go visit the pizza boy, because he makes me feel at home...Crazier things have happened...Just tell me you're like a secret Wall Street millionaire." Of course, Amanda's intentions weren't necessarily pure (see below).

In the end, it was David who was voted out, much to Aaryn and his surprise.

Interestingly, Jeremy voted against his alliance with The Moving Company, and instead tried to keep his showmance alliance with David, Aaryn, Kaitlin and himself intact.

"I think because I'm a a likable guy, I'm pretty smart." He then asked whether Aaryn voted against him and who the BB MVP who nominated him was.

That caused Connie Chung to say, "You can go home and watch all the tapes."

Big Brother 15 Power Ratings - Each week I'm going rank the Big Brother contestants based upon their power and vulnerability within the house. Here's how the contestants break down after the first week:

15. Jessie Kowalski - Overall, I think that Jessie is in better standing with the house heading into this week than she was last week, but I'm still dropping her to last place given that Elissa now seems to be valuable as a swing vote and potential reoccurring MVP.

Jessie Kowalski:

14. Candice Stewart - While she's not very well liked in the house, Candice is a former NFL cheerleader.

And when I say Candice Stewart is a former NFL cheerleader, I stress the word "former."

13. Helen Kim - Ellen tried to console her friend Elissa after the Veto spelling competition by saying, "You did a good job. I mean, pot roast, I really thought it was one word," proving that she's the worst Asian ever. 

12. Elissa Slater - A fame whore just like her sister, Elissa kept talking about going to the "Reality Bash" in Vegas once the show is done. Elissa also showed that she traded brains for Botox, as when asked how tall her husband was she said, "He's like 6'0, maybe 5'12."

11. Kaitlin Barnaby - Kaitlin's probably the prettiest girl in the house, but aside from her close friend Aaryn, she has the worst personality and attitude.

The fact that she's on the verge of hooking up with someone as sleazy as Jeremy just cements the conclusion that she's destined to work in strip clubs for the next 10 years.

With that said, Kaitlin Baranaby's ass is to die for.

10. Aaryn Gries - Not happy with David being a slacker, Aaryn grilled him about his career aspirations.

"So don't you think that at 25 you should know what you want to do. Of course, David had the snappy response when he said, "I thought I wanted to become a beach lifeguard...And then I saw the commercial for Big Brother."

Aaryn went on to ask, "Do you make money surfing, because I don't understand," not really getting the part where he doesn't have a job, and at 25, still lives in his mom's basement.

But that didn't stop Aaryn Gries from getting all Tawny Kittean on David Girton's lap.

However, Aaryn soon might be joining David, as her modeling agency has fired her for directing homophobic comments towards Andy, and racist comments towards Ellen while on the show.

Zephyr Talent appreciates the overwhelming support of our difficult decision to release Aaryn Elizabeth Gries from her contract. We wish Aaryn the best of luck in her future endeavors, and recognize that while not everyone will support our decision, we feel that this is in the best interest of our other clients and our company.

Zephyr Talent fully supports free speech, but we also know that free speech does not mean free of consequences. Zephyr Talent, as a company, has always and will continue to be strong supporters of the LGBT community, and we celebrate all races, religions and cultures. While we disagree with Aaryn’s statements, we defend her right to make them; however, due to their direct conflict with many of the values we hold at Zephyr, we cannot continue to allow her to represent our company, nor do we feel comfortable representing her. We feel certain that there will be other agencies which will have no conflict representing her, and wish her nothing but the best.

Any future comments or questions regarding Aaryn Elizabeth should be sent directly to her Facebook page. Comments or questions regarding Big Brother 15 should be directed to CBS.

 
9. Andy Herren - Andy's clearly a floater, but at least he's finally adjusting to society.

Andy Herron's ears: Bat Child Found in Big Brother 15 House!

8. Judd Daughtery - The "J-U-double D Party Darty" had been stacking cans of Bush Light since he was thirteen in the hope that he might be able to participate in some sort of beer can stacking event on national TV.

Given that he still wound up being a "Have-Not" after participating in exactly that event, I'm not thinking that Judd's going to go too much further in this game.

7. Gina Marie Zimmerman - GinaMarie is doing pretty well in the house socially for now, but I have a feeling that she's going to be in trouble once she runs out of cocaine. In fact, her pageant company has already fired her for making racist comments directed at Candice and dropping the N-bomb (and not in a "I'm cool with black people" way) on the show.

GinaMarie Zimmerman: I'm not exactly sure what kind of pageants she ran, but I'm pretty sure that in the future they will involve poles and $2 bills.

6. Amanda Zuckerman - While I initially thought it was sweet that Amanda seemed to have a crush on the self proclaimed "weirdo," McCrae," Amanda let her true intentions be known to Elissa during a conversation on Big Brother After Dark.

"I don't know if I'm going to have a BF after this...Just because I'm sleeping in the same bed as someone doesn't meant that anything is happening."

In apparent reference of getting herself out of the Have-Not room she asked, "If you had a choice to sleep in a room with like light shining into it....you can't see anything at night, what would you do?"

5. Jeremy McGuire - Jeremy went against the MC and tried to secretly vote to keep David in the game, which will either give him power from two sides, and mean his demise in this game.

He's also already taking heat for his bitchy girlfriend, which won't go over well with the rest of the house.

For example, when Kaitlin and Aaryn decided that they needed to drink and snuck a bottle of wine even the rest of the house decided to wait unit midnight when the Have-Nots got off of slop to open it, Jeremy took the arrow.

"I was the one who popped the red wine and drank it...And I drank the shit out of it, and I feel great and I don't give a fuck. I'm here to play anyway, so put me up, let's go! They (Kaitlin and Aaryn) didn't drink it, this guy right here drank it."

"If you all want to get hostile, I'm a Cherokee baby, I need a new tee pee, and I'm about to throw spears at buffalo!"

This Indian Outlaw, Jeremy McGuire, half Cherokee and slack-jaw, is already thinking with his totem pole and playing the wrong side of two different alliances, The Moving Company, and The Couples.

4. McCrae Olson -McCrae has a good spot in The Moving Company Alliance, but the writing's on the wall...At some point Amanda's going to entice him to vote against the MC, and then she's going to screw him over in the end.

It wasn't pretty when Amanda Zuckerman accidentally left a pair of her panties in McCrae Olson's HOH Room.

3. Spencer Clawson - Spencer was critical of alliance member McCrae for snuggling with Amanda for being "blinded by her boobies," but totally fine with Jeremy's showmance with Kaitlin, which actually lead him to vote against his alliance.

While Spencer is on solid ground for now, I can see this whole Moving Company thing falling apart relatively soon due to people like Spencer.

2. Howard Overby - Howard struggled with the Have/Have Not Competition. "I jump into the cooler and I totally forget to hold my breath. Just because you have a body and you work out, doesn't mean that you're going to do great in every competition."

As the black guy, Howard found a way to nearly drown in two feet of water.

Nonetheless, Howard still seems to be Nick's right hand man, and he's pretty strong as a competitor...So long as the competitions don't involve water or snow.

1. Nick Uhas -Nick not only remains in control of the game strategically, but he also appears to be making an in with Kaitlin and the Couples.

I keep getting blog hits asking if Nick Uhas is gay...I'll let you all be the judge of that.